As the young boy watches the year go by
he watches young angels cry
his young life flashes before his eyes
a crystal tear with no joy falls from his lonely eyes 1
you can try putting your arm around him
but he dissapears from your view
you love him but he loves another
hes slipping away from your grasp2
he is no longer with you
he is no longer part of this world
he sees you but you can no longer see him
he's a victom of his fate3
As the young boy watches your year go by
he watches your young angels cry
a crystal tear falls from his eyes
as he watches you cry
wishing he stayed to say good-bye
Author notes
this piece is still my favorite of all of my things because it relates to real life
A contest entry
- No comments? by LostSoulOfRage.
675 points, ended December 29, 2007, 16 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
please comment
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Gah, I suck at interpreting poetry, cause I can't really tell what this is about. I get a vague idea, but nothing much.l Flow wise, beautifully done though.
Btw, my opinion on poetry holds NO value since I suck at it, quite frankly.
- HT -
i love it, it is so
so so cool! lol keep
up the good work!
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so sad... i loved it! please keep one writing more peoms like that!
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Good stuff!
I really liked the structure and rhythm of this, almost sounded like a song in my head. Well done
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 3, dialog: 5, characters: 4.
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Good poem! Sad and deep. Keep on writing!
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thnx for entering the contest.
aw this is really good and sad. i loved it. this is a really amazing peice. it has so much emotion in it.
one thing though, you didnt put in the AN why you thought this was one of your best. now in order for you to be able to be a finnalist, you need to put that in. otherwise you wont be given the chance to win.
great job and good luck. keep it up.
-LostSoul
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wow!!!! this is really good. I write poetry so im always up to hear new things. Good job can't wait to read to read more.
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Awwwww Jenny this was very sad. I don't even think I can say anything else about it, just wow. I could relate to it because it kinda hit home for me. This was amazing. You should post more of your work you Harmalar!!!
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