Shhhhhh: A Creation Story

1


Shhhhhhh: A Creation Story 2

©Carol Desjarlais. 20063

I write…
”for no other reason, but for this,
that others may know
I have not lived this life as if a dream.”
-Richard Hooker4

Dedicated to those who have stirred my Universe with their breath.5

I. My Forest of Feelings: themes – being put into the adoption system
II. Home Grown - Surviving - abuse, joy, sorrow
III. What Roses – learning ways to replicate surviving
IV. Life in the Break-down Lane – lessons in forgiveness
V. Sharing the Journey – becoming a reciprocal Thriver
VI. Gathering For The Journey Home – authentic survivorhood6


Sh!7

It is time to listen
with your eyes
with your ears
with your nose
with your lips
with your skin.8

This is my story
see its colors
hear my psalms
smell the patchouli.
Hold your replies
until I am done
pouring out phrases
so you can know me
inside out and outside in.
There are marks on my skin.
Do you know them by name?
Sh! You shall!9

I write my story because I feel it so important to show that I have not lived this life as if a dream. I want to encourage others to write their stories. This has been a quest for me; an examination and attempt at soul-deep expression of Self. On this quest I lay my soul bare. I attempt to explore my world as it has been, as I wish it had been, as it is, and as it might be. I describe the events that my soul dredges up as fact. I question my facts. I have made a pact with myself to engage in telling my story with as much honesty as I can. My goal is to define myself, but more, to go as deeply as soul and write about its symbiotic relationship with my reality. I have a need for the nameless to know me. In knowing me, the reader may stumble upon some truths of their own.10

It is not new to tell our own stories. To do this is not a Self-centered quest. Words are tools and I have used words to create a record. I have been in the center of my story and have generated webs of meaning from the things within me. We are our own truth-tellers. No one else can tell this for me. I stand, centrifugally attached to all that came to me and came from me. I want nothing more than to make bridges so that others can take a walk in my shoes in this life that was and is mine and perhaps know that none of us has been on a lonely journey. This is an invitation to enter the home of soul and spirit.11

There is perfection, there is beauty, there are the flaws in being human and there is ugliness to tell. I resonate the Universe and my ripples are sent out to the world as gifts and lessons to be learned by those who enter this walk of my historical journey as told in this; my Creation Story. 12

My story encompasses the cause and effect of having lived here on Mother Earth. It may not be mythical, masterful, magical, miserable, but it is a truthful. To be truthful, it must tell ALL, not just bits. It is sacred work. To be sacred it can not be a bland piece of denial. What do others learn if the I tell only the good things? Rather you know what me, what mountains had to be climbed, what barriers had to be plotted around, what scars are carried, what refined my life to what it is today: Sacred.13

As I write my story, I find connections I had forgotten and rediscover my true self within these connections. I have revisited my stories within the story. I see my life through distance’s lens. I have been able to examine my life more fully rather than as distinct and separate parts. I see patterns and how they were twined. I see how traditions affected my life. I recognize signposts and hope to impart the wisdom of having passed them and leave directions for others. I am reclaiming my own history and renaming it. My story is uniquely my own and it takes shape as truth about my own creation.14

It has been a journey. I have been drug, been carried, been lead, and finally have found my own feet, firmly, on The Good Red Road and I stand alone in this light of my truth. 15

About the Author: 16

Carol Desjarlais, a retired teacher, from Alberta, Canada, who retrieved troubled youth for twenty-three years, is a counselor, a soul seeker, the mother of seven and a sister of the earth.17

She writes for no other reason than to express how the world has affected, and affects, her. She has always been a writer. Her soul has had need of expression of awe, aw, and ah, and that she might share her reactions and reflections to these moments with others is an honor she holds sacred. 18

Reason For Writing My Story: 19

I take my journey seriously and because of promises made during the Breakdown Lane, I turn back to map ways to not only survive, but to overcome and thrive. Many said the story would be too unbelievable, for I had much to tell. But I am diligent in following the first command: Love One Another. This is the open-palmed hand that might, please God, lead another through their own dark nights.20

Lulu review area http://www.lulu.com/browse/book_view.php?fCID=820097&fContestID=1&submit=%3C%3C+Back+to+Content21