Him.

His eyes are dark, but full of genuine love, they smile and sparkle as he looks at me, they laugh full of humor, excited as if he could just kiss me with a single look; his eyes, him, my single thread to heaven.

Author notes

Well. I'm a girl. But I think you can kind of determine that from the sentence. And I'm VERY sorry if it's a run-on sentence. I still have problems with those today -_-'.

And I can't figure out if I should change the last part to:

"My single thread of heaven" or "My single thread to heaven". Ah. What da hayyy.


Why did I want to enter this contest? Mm, it seemed easy enough. :]

I don't know what I was thinking when I wrote this either. Maybe Edward from Twilight's eyes. Or Jacob's eyes. Or maybe His eyes. ^^ Oh-ho-ho.

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    : Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have 0. (?) (Line numbers)
    Ratings:

Comments


  • Taylor Renee
    December 16, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Oh my goodness! This is beautiful!

    You used plenty of the words from the wordbank, something I love that you did.

    And the imagery was beautiful, the emotion there.

    You wrote it wonderfully, and I love it.

    you followed all of the rules, as well, which is awesome!

    And no, lol, it's a mighty fine sentence, and not run-on At least, not too badly!

    I thinkI like "My single thread to heaven." but that's just me, and they both sound good!

    :]

    OH MY DEAR!

    EDWARD EDWARD EDWARD!

    He is SO hott!

    Now that I read this again, it sort of reminds me of him!!! In Bella's POV! Or maybe even Jacob...he surely is beautiful!

    Anyway, I loooove them!

    Twilight ROCKS.

    As does your entry! (Sorry for the fangirl moment! XD)

    Thanks so much for entering my contest, and I wish you the best of luck!

    xoxo
    -♥-
    Tay