The Only One I See

The Only One I See1

I’m not sure what attracted me to her. I mean, it’s not like she was a raving beauty or anything. Certainly pretty but, I didn’t envision a thousand ships being launched. It was something about the way she stood when I first saw her. How she stood! Man that sounds lame. I mean how many different ways are there to stand. Put two feet on the ground and point the rest toward the heavens. I guess she just seemed to know that she was different than those around her. Not an arrogant kind of knowing but a self assured knowing. Certainly a black girl in a sea of blondes will always be different and I know that it was how I first noticed her. Kind of out of place with the clueless cheerleader entourage that surrounded her but then I suppose that was the whole issue. She appeared to be out of her realm but somehow it was the ditzies who were out of place with her .2

I passed her by but was aching to know her better. Call it male ego but I had thought that she watched me for a moment but then, it was just as quickly gone. I regret admitting that for a moment I thought something might be wrong with me and did a quick inventory. Did I comb my hair; shave; put my clothes on inside out. I even crammed the act of checking my zipper in that miniscule second of thought. Perhaps, after reflecting on it, it could have been the reason she stopped looking. Mr. Subtle checks his fly! My God. It’s right out of nerd city. I might as well have picked my nose.3

I continued toward the lecture hall, alternating between cursing my stupidity and trying to regain the composure I would need for the class. A senior Professor would have to portray a little decorum. Little did I know that it would take the better part of my lecture to even come close to decorum. The class would be small and therefore a perfect size for the intense graduate level course. I had been teaching Business Marketing for longer than I wanted to consider but fortunately it had always remained fresh. The changing students, with their eager, anticipating faces and the constant changes in the global economy kept me charged. Unfortunately, today I was going to get charged beyond reason.4

She had to sit in the front seat! Couldn’t have chosen something behind some three hundred linebacker! No, Beth had to sit right on the edge of my pacing space. I at least was going to satisfy my ache to know her better but I knew it was going to lead to another ache I didn’t want to face. The other’s introduced themselves as well but I’ll be damned if I remembered any of them. Her coal black eyes just stared at me and I froze. Never in my years of dominating the classroom had I been at a loss for words. I had a fleeting thought that I could fail her on the spot and throw her out of the class but then she crossed her legs. It was the first time I noticed her knee high leather boots and my mind somehow stuck spurs onto them; thrusting me into a further subservient position.5

I stared at her and wondered how I failed to notice her full beauty before. Her lithe form appeared to shift uneasily as I continued my vacant stare. I could have hugged the pimple faced boy in the second row as his question jerked me back to reality and away from the ebony vision before me. I spent the next half hour waxing eloquently on the virtues of economics and the vagaries of the business world. I didn’t have any idea what was coming out of mouth but could only be aware of what filled my mind. I hoped that years of espousing essentially the same information could get me through the first day and past the debacle that I had stumbled into. When the session concluded it was as if Atlas had again shouldered his burden and relieved me of the world’s weight.6

As I watched the students file out I realized that She was not part of the caravan. I had been trying to avoid her for so long that I had lost track of where she was. I returned my gaze to what I hoped was her now empty seat; only to find her smiling face while those black pools drew me in again. She rose and extended her hand.7

“I saw you earlier today and thought you were the instructor. I’m really happy to be here.”8

I took her hand and looked at her. There were no bells ringing nor ships sailing, but I just could not release her hand. I asked her to lunch.