Sincerely, me.

She looked in the mirror and was disgusted by what she saw. She didn't deserve to be on this earth, she didn't deserve to be loved or to be alive. She made up her mind, she had to do it. She sat down and wrote the hardest letter she would ever have to write.1

Dear Stan,
I'm sorry that I've put you through so much in the time we've known eachother, and never let you know quite what was happening. I was unfair to you, and I wish I had just told you the truth.
Sometimes I cut myself, just to see if I bleed, It's an adrenaline rush for me, and It feels good, better then you could ever know. Sometimes I feel like I'm not really on earth, and I feel like It's such an ugly place, and I can't seem to find anything beautiful in here. The darkness I feel is opressing, and I can barely breathe, It strangles me.
Do you remember our first kiss, back when we were in our first year of secondary? That moment, and that feeling, I feel like that everytime I kiss you, and that's the only time Im happy; when Im with you. Your love is the thing that keeps me sane, but lately I feel as if you don't care as much as you used to, and I know that things have been tough, and that I should have just told you how I felt, but I couldnt.
I'm being unfair to you, making you live through the pain of being with me, making you feel like you are my therapist, not my lover, so I'm going to end it. You no longer have to feel the hurt when I hurt myself, or wonder what you did to make me upset, you no longer have to comfort me through those long dark nights when there seems to be no end to the tears that fall.
Do not mourn me and do not cry for me, I dont deserve your pity. I tortured you with my own pain, and I never gave you time to breathe. I love you still, but It's not fair on you. Im sorry.
Sincerely,
Me.2

She let one last tear fall on to the sheet of paper, smudging the black ink, and then turned away. Closing the envelope, and writing his name on the front, she put the letter on the desk.
She took the gun out of the drawer, and put it to her temple, and then here was the moment she'd been planing for so long; the moment she'd pull the trigger. It came so fast, the end, and she didn't feel a thing, the darkness ceased and she was free, free from the earth, and free from the ugliness that went with it, she found a place where everything was beautiful, and where everything was perfect.3


He found the letter the next day, after she hadnt returned his calls. He read the last words, and gently taking the gun from her hand, he shot himself, the last words he spoke still resting like that first kiss on his lips, and lingering in the air, like his spirit, "sincerely, me".