I walked into the kitchen for the first time in two weeks when my mother called for breakfast. She momentarily registered my presence with a small knowing smile. Well, little to her knowledge, I could go on a diet and be successful. She made me more determined than ever to do it. 1
"Pop-tart?" she offered casually, holding out a silver package. I took it and mumbled a thanks that really didn't hold any meaning. She stared at me as I tore it open and took out a pastry. Chocolate. 2
I almost burst into tears looking at it. Why was she doing this to me? She was the one who had driven me to get on the diet with all her comments about me. I just wanted her to be happy. Why couldn't she be happy? She caught my eye and tension began to build in the room like air filling a balloon. Luckily for me, my dad walked in at that moment, pushing a pin into the soft rubbery flesh, releasing our tension. He eyed the food I was holding. 3
"Come on, honey. I have to go to work now," he told my mom. She smiled that fake smile of hers and followed him through the doors out to the car. Before she closed the door, she turned to me. 4
"Want a ride to school, Sophia?" she offered sweetly.5
"No thanks. It's such a lovely day out, I think I'll walk," I told her. Before she turned around, I made sure she saw me take a huge bite of the pop-tart. 6
"Okay then," she said and closed the door. I waited until I heard the passenger side door close to spit out the bite. I threw the entire package away right after it, and tried not to burst into tears. She had wanted me on this diet so badly, why was she doing this? Well, I'd convince her I was off it one way or another. 7
I started the walk to school with fifteen minutes more than I'd need. I could go for a quick run through the adjoining park. 8
Usually I hated running, but since I hated all other forms of excercise too, except swimming, I tried to do it more when I started the diet. 9
While on my run, I came up with the perfect plan. It was more than perfect. Mom would think I was off my diet, I would continue to lose weight, I could stop worrying Dad, and I could actually eat again. 10
I was going to become bulimic. 11
I thought about my plan all day at school. It actually excited me. Normally, I knew, this kind of thing would be very dangerous. But I could do it. I would carry my toothbrush on me at all times so I could brush my teeth and they wouldn't decay. I had amazing willpower, so I was sure I wouldn't get addicted. 12
I spent most of my day planning out my new 'disease'. More like a miracle for me! The hardest part was keeping it from my friends, whom I knew wouldn't approve. 13
When I got home, I sat down on my bed and opened up an empty notebook I'd gotten to take notes in. I decided to start a journal instead. I started writing all about my plans for the diet and even went and weighed myself. I registered that information, then got up to go eat dinner. 14
I thought about announcing to my parents and brother that I was off my diet, but figured actions would speak louder than words. I filled my plate up with food and ignored the strange looks my family was sending me. Finally, I looked up and purposely caught my dad's eye. 15
"What? I'm starved!" I complained briefly before shovelling another bite in my mouth. My parents averted their eyes, but my brother didn't.16
"Dude, I thought you were like, you know, on a diet?" he asked. 17
"Yeah. So?" I answered. 18
"Dad, are all girls this weird?" he asked. 19
"Yup. Sure are, son." Daddy told him. I smiled and started in on seconds. I finished that just as quickly as I had my first. My mom hadn't even finished her first plate when I asked to be excused. I rushed for my room immediately, thankful yet again that I had my own adjoining bathroom. It made this all the easier. 20
To tell the truth, I was terrified to actually retch that first time. I tried just willing it to come back up, but that didn't work, so I just grabbed my toothbrush and stuck the end of it into my mouth. That did the trick. 21
When I was done getting sick, I brushed my teeth, mouthwashed, and flossed. I wasn't going to sacrifice my teeth for my weight. Then I returned to my room and recorded my first time in the journal I'd just started. I went to bed feeling almost full for the first time in weeks. 22
Two months passed, and everyone noticed how good I looked. They told me I was skinny, and they were right. I had dropped from 135 to 110 in that time, and nobody had caught on. I didn't always binge and then purge, sometimes I just wouldn't eat. I always wrote about the day in my journal. I made sure I wasn't getting addicted by testing myself every now and then. And my teeth were as white and pretty as ever. 23
One problem though: I wasn't satified yet. I loved what the scale said, but not so much with the mirror. I still had little deposits of fat sitting on my stomach. Maybe the diet would take care of those too. It would, I reasoned. That's how, even though I reached the weight I swore I would stop on, I decided to stick with the diet, at least for one more week. 24
But as you can imagine, there were complications with that. I...couldn't stop. I wasn't addicted or anything, I just couldn't stop. I tried to start eating normally again, to prove to myself I could, and no sooner did my stomach feel full than it got that familiar gurgling feeling and I to run for a toilet or trash can. Okay, I thought to myself. Diet over. It was starting to scare me. So I would quit, like I'd told myself from the beginning. Stop. 25
Besides, I told myself, people at school were probably starting to catch on. I had lost a lot of weight. 26
I sat down on my bed, weak from hunger yet scared to eat. I finally decided it would be safe if I didn't get full. I grabbed some fruit from the kitchen and took it back to my room. 27
The fruit tasted so good, but I tried not to eat it quickly. I managed to eat the entire banana and two grapes. I was...fine. I was fine. 28
Until a moment later. 29
I fell off my bed and crawled to the bathroom, I was so weak. I made it just in time. I retched until I thought my stomach muscles would tear, and then all 30
went31
black.32
Author notes
The disorder used in this is obviously bulimia.
A contest entry
- Contest #Blah by Zach...thats me.
450 points, ended February 21, 2008, 26 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Convince me. by Xtclozer-.
325 points, ended April 13, 2008, 8 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - They Were Wrong! by callthexylophone.
600 points, ended May 17, 2008, 20 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Teen drama by No Comment.
175 points, ended May 28, 2008, 3 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Frustrations, anxiety, death, depression.. by RedHearts.
330 points, ended June 30, 2008, 24 entries
Honorable mention
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - [eating disorders] by miles of smiles.
600 points, ended December 7, 2008, 13 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Story Starter by CrystalTigress.
100 points, ended January 29, 8 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Am I Good Enough Yet? by Living.Disaster.
220 points, ended February 18, 6 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Eating Disorders by try2changeme.
145 points, ended February 3, 14 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - The Teenage Mentioned by Kyndal Laran.
180 points, ended February 17, 29 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Does this story work the way it is, or should I detail an ending?
Comments
1 - 29 of 29
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wow!! great facts and truth but into a little comical. it was awesome!
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Wow,the story is fine the way it is.
It's so true too,you think you won't get addicted..but in the end you do.
Thnks for entering and Good Luck in my Contest. -
very good! i love this story and i think it really discribes the pressure being put on teenage girls to lose weight.
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I know I've commented on this before but here it goes again:
This a really good story, it flows really well. It's amazing of what can happen to girl who's put under pressure and wants to lose weight. This story is really true to what could happen. Great job with this story.
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I swear I've read this before.
Nevertheless, good job writing this.
However, rather than a dysfunctional family, it was a internal emotional turmoil story--in my opinion -
Yikes. Really believable. I like how you write about real issues. I was a ballet dancer for seven years, so I have a lot of experience with eating disorders (not personally). This was a really good portrayal (: I hated the mom in this story.
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wow
there are so many ways to continue that i love this and will totally continue looking into this.
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I have already commented on this- I liked it very much- but for the sake of me holding the contest I'll comment again. You nailed the emotions exactly- the feeling that at first you can control what's happening, but bit by bit you slowly lose it. I was anorexic twice, and you made your story very realistic.
Good luck in the contest- -
I'm swiftly coming to admire your works. This is, again, very beautifully written (and tragedy can be beautiful from an artistic POV). I'm not at all surprised that you went with a character who knew exactly what she was doing. People who are bulimic are control freaks, trying to control their body exactingly, and you nailed it, with the journal and everything.
The ending was a bit sudden there, I can't quite imagine that the character has died already, but she could have. And if she didn't die, who found her? was my question. Anyway, still a great write, and an awesome cautionary tale.
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Good
I loved how you made it feel like it was really happening... DUH... you are suppost to do that. But 'nyways I think you are a good writer this story it a good one... DUH... and i look forword to reading more of your stories. -
You have made this story so realistic. Very well written. I like the way you have put details. Good job.
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This is a great story, i think that you wrote it so well and it is a great story, its great how you have come up with a story from something that is so common, great work..
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I love this story. Although there was supposed to be some kind of a fight..I'll over look that here and say that I've seen many teens suffer from this. Only thing I'd reccommend is fixing the ending. How it suddenly goes black kind of ruins the vibe of the piece. 4/5
Soul -
Alot of teens suffer from this
and until you have it
People don't understand how addictive it is
Very nicely written
You explained it so well
Good job :]beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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I've commentd this before, and I will stick to what I said. I can't believe it hasn't won any golds! I also still think that you could send it into a magazine if you gave it a real ending. Lovely job!
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I think that this works well the way it is. The ending is kind of set up so there could be a part two--is there a part two to this?
Good luck
--Aden
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Oh wow..I loved this. It is sad how some teenage girls feel the ned to lose weight to the point where they start making themselves puke up they're food... No doubt she blacked out, it must have been likehell for her body to not get the proper food.
Great write, I loved it>
keep up the good work, and good luck in my contest!
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Wow this is an amazing story! I love the detail put into it, although it was really sad. I think the beginning was kind of confusing. You should explain a little more background detail before you get into the whole poptart thing. The ending is good, it makes you want to read more, so I would keep it as it is. Great job though, keep writing!!
Illuminated *KT*
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Oh, how I hate these types of things. Not like I hate to read it because it's stupid, but more like I hate to read it because it makes me feel bad. I remember back in Grade 10 this girl asked me out and I turned her down. She thought I dumped her because she was fat and now she's barely over 50 on the scales...shit, flashbacks, great! Well, good job. Is there a part 2 to this? I'm intrigued.
--RT -
Awww. this was so good, why did you let down on the ending? I guess I get it though. What a depressing, sad and moving story. I actually felt a lot of empathy for bulemic girls reading this, instead of the disdain that i usually feel lol. Great job, and good luck in the contest! Even if you don't win, this is a very, very moving story. Have you considered entering it in a magazine? esp a girl's one, like an anti-eating disorder story or something.
^_^
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Very nice and believable. In most book sabout eatin disorders they make like the girls don't knwo what they're doing at first...but a lot of times they do.
I decided to be an anorexic once but it never cauht...I like food too much
Anyway this was really real and good
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it is very true..it must be scary to black ou though
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ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww good story sooooooooooooooo true
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Such a compelling story, filled with human emotion. From reading your story, I can see how bulimics could be started on that path. Wanting to lose weight quickly, assuming they can stop the behavior anytime they want ... then finding they can't. Much like alcoholics. I think your ending shows that sometimes the addiction has gone too far, damage to the body is too great ... and the consequences can be severe, causing long-term damage.
Excellent write on an important social topic.
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Wow....this piece was morbidly real and grimly true. Beautiful job displaying the realities of this world. Wonderful write.
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Wow, this is such a sad tale, one which unfortunately a lot of people can relate to. I think the ending works well, it really has a hopeless feeling to it but it leaves a memorable impression.
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This was sadly beautiful, shining with reality and hauntingly grim.
♥sarah.
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Excellent job capturing all the thoughts of a normal person wanting to become thin. Keep up the good work.
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Great story but I thought this was the best.Sadly I have read all four stories .I have to wait for the next one.I think I need you to let me in on some writing tips
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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