The Suits: Chapter One: Luxor Suite


"He's a Hallow..." The priest shuddred out as he finished taking my blood sample.1

"What is that Father?" My dumb mother gasped out.2

I can't believe it. I am one of them, one of the specially gifted ones. My name is Pelops Armanies. I'm fourteen years of age and I just found out I can do something that only about forty other people can do every decade. Though, I have no idea what I do yet. The priest doesn't seem to happy too, nor does my father. I thought this was a good thing, living in our dictatorship goverment, he always said that Hallow's should rise up and fight the man. What's wrong with me.3

"Oh no, oh god no..." I wonder why my father isn't a bit more excited.4

The priest leaped up from his seat and grabbed me sharply at the forearm. He pulled at me hard, and literally draged me out of my room. My mother came up and tried to stop the holy man, but all he said was, "Best leave him in our hands ma'am. He's too dangerous to be left in the hands of an average."5

My mom stopped there, plopped onto her knees crying into her hands. And all my dad did was put his hands on her shoulders, in an attempt to comfort her. 6

The holy man continued to drag me through my living room, kitchen, and then out the front door, onto the asphalt of the Inner City.7

He took me to his hover bike and stood beside it, staring at me.8

"Get on, I'll be taking you to the Suits."9

"Eh...who are they Father Manann?"10

"People who will put you to use."11

I was confused, i had no idea what the hell was going on. I reluctantly got on the bike and Manann followed suit, then we were off onto the International Hover Highway. Swerving into traffic, the clean air of 3245, the pine scent of christmas is everywhere. The Suits...hope they're nice.12

It had been about 30 minutes when we came into New Metronome, the megacity rebuilt after the Reset, central economic hub. Old fasion skyscrapers soar into the atmosphere, large gilded windows littered the sights above the eyes main view. The Newly rebuilt Ascendancy is still being used as the main port for tourists. Oh, a thousand years of water damage has left New Metronome in a shamble, but we're rebuilding, making the old Metronome bigger and better than it was all those years ago.13

The Holy man slowed his bike, coming into the old Delacrois Spire parking garage, now renamed Aggromonetary. I thought this was a famous hotel spot for tourist from provinces outside of the Inner City. We came to a complete stop on a usual parking space, and the holy man told me to follow. I did. I walked for quite a while, i think 10 mins until we entered an elevator. The door closed and I asked the man what floor we going to stop on.14

"None.." Was his answer.15

He took out a small PDA-like device, outstretched a USB and attatched it to a tiny port atop the panel of floor buttons.16

He took out an ear/mouth piece connected to the PDA and put it on, dialing a number and waiting, speaker was on so I heard everything.17

"This is Vorrs, I have the kid." What? Were they expecting me? And I thought this holy bitches name was Mamann!18

"Good...You are cleared, make you way to Zero-One, and report to Foxtrot."19

"Will do."20

This now, 'Vorrs' guy hung up and dialed a whole new number, only about 4 digits long. "1337"21

We shot up in the elavator, so fast I felt gravity pounding against me. The elavator was a clear one, so i could see into the city, the sun began to set a bit too quickly, and strangly enough, it was only 4:14 PM.22

We screeched at a stop on a floor know as, The Luxor Suite. I was thrown up and then fell back down at the sheer intensity of the stop. Vorrs only smirked and told me get up. I did. The doors of the elavator opened up and I was blinded by an all white scenery.23

A small protocal hover drone came in front of us.24

"Welcome to Zero-On Pelops, please follow Colonel Vorrs to FoxTrot and Co. They will tell you whats going on."25

The drone flew away and Vorrs walked ahead of me, I guess I should follow. I looked around at the white circular room, nothing but pure white, so white, it seemed as if the ceiling was fading, like nothing was there, like a deep white void of nothingness. I was getting caught up in my thoughts again, I ran up to Vorrs who was waiting at the only other door in the room, it being white too.26

"I can only show the door, what you have to do, is walk through it."27

With that, Vorrs walked back into the elavator and left. I now know that I had to do something, I stared intently on the door, put my hand on the knob, and turned.

Author notes

Here's some stuff to clear up, and hopefully make the Suits a bit more sensible.

It is the year 3245, in the megacity of New Metronome.

The reason for the 'New' in the name, is bacause, this is a story after the events of another story that I have yet to make.

The origianl metronome, or at least in the timeline of the story, the year is 2245, where the grand children of the orginal Matriarchs of the city, were under attack from the Viral outbreak know as the insectoid beast, The Mraspian.

The Metronome Armies easily dispersed the Mraspian gene and killed their queen, but because of this, the mraspian without their queen, flew into the city of Metronome and destroyed most of the megacity while it's armies are in the Mraspian Organi City.

This is where 'The Reset' comes into play, the grandchildren activate the last known thing to kill the mraspians, they evacuate what left of the city and start up the Lost Program.

This generate explosions that crystalize the core of the planet and flood the surface with billions of gallons of water, the last humans go "extinct" for a thousand years until the year 3000, when human mysteriously come out of hiding when the Lost Program goes hay-wire and de-freezes the core and un-floods the surface.

New Metronome is built and in 3245, people are still trying to cope with their renewed life style.

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • maiohmai
    March 23, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    So the second number he dialed was 'leet'? xD
    Not sure if I'm right on that one, but I find that hilarious.
    Great start, a few grammar and misspellings here and there.
    I'm really glad you explained all of it in the Author's notes, the first time through all I could say was "What?!"
    Keep writing!


  • cognitivedistortion
    February 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    "This is Vorrs, I have the kid." What? Were they expecting me? And I thought this holy bitches name was Mamann! - I really liked that part, it made me smile.
    There were some small grammatical errors, but they never bother me.
    One thing... Its the year 3245 and we're still using PDA's and USB ports? Everything thing else was so futuristic, and that sort of stuck out a little.
    It sounds really interesting... there is going to be a part two, right? Post it on the board if you can get to it.


    • Azzy Bear
      February 25, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      LMAO!
      You caught me! It really took everyone a long time to notice
      I'll change it soon enough


  • GrimDeath
    February 24, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    It was good, although I do agree it was a bit confusing at first.


  • whatami
    December 27, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    ..a bit confusing at first, but if you re-read it, it begans to make sense.


  • Lostskins
    December 17, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Hmmm I'm not sure what to think! I wasn't wowed at all, don't get me wrong it was in no way bad, it was well written it's just i wasn't left wanting more. I did find it a bit confusing, I know you cleared that up in the notes. I will read the 2nd part wen I can.


  • FreeStyleBlue
    December 13, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Yay! This was great! I noticed a few grammatical errors, but I don't care about that. I love the super high-tech feel of it. Thanks for entering, and good luck!

1 - 7 of 7