Untitled

How could this happen?
I just never thought.
No. I couldn't.
It must be a joke.
They...They were. Are my friends.
But...but...but they just left me.
But why would they leave when they were my friends.
I don't understand.1

My head started spinning at that thought.
I was lost.
Lost in a forest.
All they said were to go over there and collect something.I came back and there gone. I called but no reply, so I started to walk back the way we had come. Well I thought I had gone the right way.Everything looks the same.
A wind rippled through the trees, chilling me to the bone.I wrapped my coat round me more, like that did anything. I kept walking, hoping to come to the end, but all I saw was trees. endless trees. Brown, wooden trees that went on and on and on. I stop, realizing I was just going in circles. Sitting down on the ground, I took out a drink out of my bag and had some.
" I'll wait here for the night an start again in the morning." I thought.2

The hours past. I checked my watch and it was 9 pm. I closed my eyes trying to get to sleep, knowing time would move quicker when I did.
As I was trying for what felt like the 100th I heard a twig snap. I bolted awake and looked towards where the sound the coming from. I called out but got no reply, I then noticed something. It was daylight. I thought I must of drifted off but I looked at my watch and it said 9pm. Weird. I got up and took a closer look at my surrounding's, the forest looked so bright and something else.
I took a minute to search for the word but couldn't think of one so decided to to walk around and find my way back.
As I wondered round I saw how highly colored the forest was, the leaves were a magnificent green and the flowers that I saw were just beautiful.
"Magical"
Thats the word I was searching for.
How magical this place looks. I stopped and wondered why it did. I knew it hadn't looked like this when I came in this morning.I like this forest though. I felt safe, no-one and nothing could harm me.
The twig snapped again. I stopped and stood still. Listening and watching and then it happened. Something jumped from the bushes and started shaking me.
I screamed, all I could do was screamed but it never stopped. the shaking never stopped. I screamed stop but it just went on. On and on......3

"She isn't waking up"
"Wake up!"
"Come on, please wake up!"
They shook her harder.
"Come on, come on!"
"Don't go!"
"Wake up!"
They kept shaking her, calling out but nothing happened.4

"Stop shaking me, what have I done," I screamed it out but still the Thing was shaking me. I curled up in a tighter ball willing it to stop and just when I thought I couldn't take it anymore. It stopped. I stood up and looked around. The Thing had gone but something else came. A feeling inside me. It started as a small tickling sensation then it came.
I doubled up in pain from it.
It hurt.
I wanted it to go but it kept coming. Something was trying to get out on my chest. I gripped the place where it was coming from. My heart felt like it was going to explode.5

"There's a pulse!"
"Oh thank god."
"Come on, come back"
The 3 voices kept calling out.
"Come on."
"She's very cold"
"Will she make it?"6

The voices echoed in my head. I couldn't make any of them out, they just kept coming.
I then heard my name. I manged to get up and stubble towards it. 7

"I felt her hand move"
"Her pulse has come up"
"Her eyes!. Her eyes moved!"
The 3 people kept shouting.8

I had blacked out.
I tried to move.
I felt my hand touch something.
I tried to blink but it was to much effort.
I felt so cold. I collect together my remaining energy and manged to open my eyes. My eyes focused on 3 worried faces.
My friends.
I looked at them and felt relief flood through me.
I had found them.

Author notes

This is my first go at writing part of a story in another person.
I'm not sure how good it is so i would like feed back on it.
Also i tried to give this story a happy ending =D, which I think I did.

Please tell me what you think

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Comments


  • Blazing Writer
    February 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Ok to start with editing while I read: lol

    I just never thoguht lol should be thought.

    They. They were, are my friends. maybe They...They were- no! They are my friends.

    but. but. but they just left me. maybe
    But...but...but they just left me.

    but why would they leave when they were my friends.
    after friends it should be a ? and capatalize the b in but to But.

    Sorry about that editing over but I'm in a editor mood. Sorry im usually not like this. Now for this piece of magic. I like this. Believe it or not but I find myself saying this everyday. I can never trust some of my friends because they hurt me so bad yet they act like it never happened. I connected with this piece of work and you brought it to life. Great Job!

    KUDOS!!!!!!

    ~Blazing Mike~

    beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 4, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.