In today’s society, very few people actually care about their fellow man. One person could make a huge difference to one, or many, human beings.1
I remember that there was once a time when I would “family hop”. Just like one “channel hops,” I would go from family to family in hopes that someone would adopt this poor orphan. There was once a time in which I had no family or contact with my biological family.2
When I was six, my life was changed forever. A kind, warm-hearted woman took me in. I thought that this would be just another family I’d stay with for a few months then pick up my small suitcase of clothing and leave for another temporary family.3
One answered prayer4
One hope from someone who cares5
One wished upon star6
One wish for love unscarred7
One dream coming true8
One dream for me and you9
One baby’s first breath10
One mother’s tear shed11
Every Christmas and every birthday I had during the first six years of my life, I wished for a family. I wanted one person to care. I wanted to be loved.12
Being part of a family is something many people take for granted. Being part of a family was something I had only dreamed about, something I wanted desperately. I didn’t want to spend every holiday with a new family. I was sick of moving around. I was tired of memorizing all their names, tired of all the do’s and don’ts of each family. I was just plain tired.13
Tired of being misunderstood14
Tired of being anything but good15
One person could change it all16
One person could break my fall17
Every time I switched families, I felt myself sinking lower. I was at the desperate point when I reached my final family. I thought that since no one had adopted me that it was my fault. I thought that I was just a bad child and that was why I was beaten, ignored, and starved. I thought that I deserved every one of those punishments, that I deserved every day I went without eating, every day that my ‘new daddy’ beat me, or every day I lived in solitude. I deserved everything I got…or didn’t get.18
As I grew up, I still searched for solitude. I looked for it in the United States, the British Isles, the European continent, and even Canada. Needless to say, I never found it. I am still searching for my precious solitude. 19
“I don’t want to be lonely; I just want to be alone.” I can truly relate to that quotation. No matter how many times I seek solitude, I manage to be lonely instead of simply alone and peaceful.20
I suppose the reason I search for solitude is because I was ignored for such a long time by my ‘parents’. Deep down, I knew they loved me, but they didn’t show it very well. I suffered from their love. That is why I had to switch families so often.21
Once I arrived at my last family’s home in Washington, DC, I could feel a radiant love. My mother gave me a huge room with two windows. She let me eat at every meal. She even bought me clothes and toys. Her love changed my life forever.22
Earlier this year, I found out that my mother had stage two cancer. She went through operations and chemotherapy. Watching her suffer like that was very painful for me. I felt so hopeless. The one person who cared for me, who loved me unconditionally would be dying in a predicted five months. Still, I watched her suffer. I wanted to do something, but I didn’t know what I could do. Just a few weeks ago, my mother received a phone call from her doctor. He told her that instead of living for only four months that might live for four years. That brought tears to my eyes and a smile to my mouth.23
I know I’ve been through a lot – abuse, neglect, my mother’s cancer – but I don’t let the weight of the world get me down. I always try to see the brighter side to every situation and search for the pot of gold at the end of each rainbow.24
25I remember that there was once a time when I would “family hop”. Just like one “channel hops,” I would go from family to family in hopes that someone would adopt this poor orphan. There was once a time in which I had no family or contact with my biological family.2
When I was six, my life was changed forever. A kind, warm-hearted woman took me in. I thought that this would be just another family I’d stay with for a few months then pick up my small suitcase of clothing and leave for another temporary family.3
One answered prayer4
One hope from someone who cares5
One wished upon star6
One wish for love unscarred7
One dream coming true8
One dream for me and you9
One baby’s first breath10
One mother’s tear shed11
Every Christmas and every birthday I had during the first six years of my life, I wished for a family. I wanted one person to care. I wanted to be loved.12
Being part of a family is something many people take for granted. Being part of a family was something I had only dreamed about, something I wanted desperately. I didn’t want to spend every holiday with a new family. I was sick of moving around. I was tired of memorizing all their names, tired of all the do’s and don’ts of each family. I was just plain tired.13
Tired of being misunderstood14
Tired of being anything but good15
One person could change it all16
One person could break my fall17
Every time I switched families, I felt myself sinking lower. I was at the desperate point when I reached my final family. I thought that since no one had adopted me that it was my fault. I thought that I was just a bad child and that was why I was beaten, ignored, and starved. I thought that I deserved every one of those punishments, that I deserved every day I went without eating, every day that my ‘new daddy’ beat me, or every day I lived in solitude. I deserved everything I got…or didn’t get.18
As I grew up, I still searched for solitude. I looked for it in the United States, the British Isles, the European continent, and even Canada. Needless to say, I never found it. I am still searching for my precious solitude. 19
“I don’t want to be lonely; I just want to be alone.” I can truly relate to that quotation. No matter how many times I seek solitude, I manage to be lonely instead of simply alone and peaceful.20
I suppose the reason I search for solitude is because I was ignored for such a long time by my ‘parents’. Deep down, I knew they loved me, but they didn’t show it very well. I suffered from their love. That is why I had to switch families so often.21
Once I arrived at my last family’s home in Washington, DC, I could feel a radiant love. My mother gave me a huge room with two windows. She let me eat at every meal. She even bought me clothes and toys. Her love changed my life forever.22
Earlier this year, I found out that my mother had stage two cancer. She went through operations and chemotherapy. Watching her suffer like that was very painful for me. I felt so hopeless. The one person who cared for me, who loved me unconditionally would be dying in a predicted five months. Still, I watched her suffer. I wanted to do something, but I didn’t know what I could do. Just a few weeks ago, my mother received a phone call from her doctor. He told her that instead of living for only four months that might live for four years. That brought tears to my eyes and a smile to my mouth.23
I know I’ve been through a lot – abuse, neglect, my mother’s cancer – but I don’t let the weight of the world get me down. I always try to see the brighter side to every situation and search for the pot of gold at the end of each rainbow.24
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Wanda