Thoughts are not wasted on me, but they’re certainly wasted from me. I know the sad truth of my thoughts as they duplicate and drift out of my head, some of them engraved in a word document, but many floating silently around the room, permeating through the walls and ceiling, drifting with the wind for a while, then floating up into the sky where the air gets thinner and they vanish off into dark space. The copies of these thoughts usually stay in my head. The bad ones do. The haunting ones never seem to want to leave. The darkest thoughts seem to find my mind more hospitable than dark space.
I wonder where they’ll go when I waste away? When I’m buried underground with my organs rotting or rolling down a river as bubbling ash, where will my thoughts go then? Perhaps my mind will turn in on itself and I will be able to live and relive my thoughts and memories. Optimism tells me that if I’ve done good in my life, the good thoughts will stay with me while the dark ones drop off into earth below, an anchor let loose and a weight lifted. Of course, I’ve never been all that optimistic.
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neither have I. I'm not that optimistic... and I can't stand those dark thoughts that stay in your mind... half the time its like I'm yelling at myself to stop thinking about everything... but of course that doesn't work >_< We are such complicated creatures... and I don't know if that's a good thing anymore.



