My name is Jacob Black. There is a beast inside me, but I swear to you, my heart is human, and my heart, my heart belongs to only one person. Bella.1
In my entire life I've never met a girl like her, someone who sees the world the way she does. She is so calm and accepting of everything I am, of even the monster inside of me, that I cannot help but love her. And I know she loves me too, but she loves Edward even more.2
Bella loves me. It should be enough, but it's not. I wish it was, to my very core I wish that I could be the one with Bella. I feel like I belong nowhere else but at her side. I don't feel whole until I have her in my arms. I don't feel at peace until she smiles at me. There was a time when I had her, and Edward was nowhere to be seen. I long for those times again. I desperately wish we could go back, her and I, to the simple friendship we had. Before the vampire came between us, we had been so close. I was the only one, then, who could make her smile again. Broken, she was as much mine as she would ever come to be.3
There was a moment in that time when I almost had her. In the car, parked outside her house, I held her in my arms as the sound of rain poured around us. She turned to me and I saw in her face a war of emotions, hope and love struggling to break through her depression and pain. I knew then she was going to pick me. Finally, she'd be WITH me, not just around me. I waited for her to give some sign, to say something to let me know she was mine so that I could joyfully embrace her. All my hopes and dreams were hedged in this one moment, my heart was pounding as I watched her, and still I waited. But then that vampire's sister showed up, and Bella turned away from me without ever glancing back.4
For a while I fought for her. I vehemently did whatever I could do to make her realize she loved me. I played dirty, I'll admit, and I'm not proud of that, but there is nothing I wouldn't do for Bella. Everything inside me screamed whenever I saw her with Edward, and oh, she was always with Edward. It killed me, and fueled my increasingly cruel efforts to get her back. I saw what I was doing was wrong, and couldn't stop myself. I couldn't help it. I loved her, and there was nothing that could have made me give up on her.5
Until he proposed, that is. And she said yes. And in the mail there came a wedding invitation, mocking me, signed by the monster that I hated so much for having the only thing I wanted. The wolf inside me howled, and into the woods I ran, my broken heart beating rapidly in the void that was my chest. I changed as I ran, shifting into the beast that my rage made me, seeking solace from my human pain. I ran, and I ran, and I ran, picturing her in my head, and weeping, though wolves cannot shed tears. I loved her still, though she had broken my heart, though she was about to become that which I hated most, I loved her still. And I ran from that love, that love which had destroyed me, I ran, never wanting to be human again.6
Among the werewolves, there is a tradition. You find the girl you love through what is literally a love at first sight glance. She becomes imprinted into your mind, and she takes over your heart. You would never love anyone but her again, no matter what, and you become entirely devoted to that one person. I explained this to Bella once, and curious she had asked me if I had imprinted anyone. I looked at her carefully, and then looked away. No, I told her, I hadn't. My secret? I lied. The one and only time I had ever lied to her, was then.7
Oh, Bella, I love you. I can't exist without you.8
As I run the forest thickens, swallowing me whole, swallowing Jacob Black, and leaving behind nothing but a solitary wolf howling his loneliness to the cold, cold moon.
Author notes
This is based off of characters from Stephenie Meyer's books Twilight, New Moon, and Eclipse. I know a lot of people aren't Jacob fans, everyone seems to get entranced with Edward, but I just couldn't get jacob's suffering out of my mind. My heart aches for him. I wrote this for him, but I hope you like it too ^^
A contest entry
- To sick to care by Prodigious.Mirth.
360 points, ended January 5, 2008, 16 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - No comments? by LostSoulOfRage.
675 points, ended December 29, 2007, 16 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - The VERY BEST of DARK by Immortal Obscurity.
100 points, ended January 14, 2008, 18 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Emotion and Detail by RoseBlossom100.
275 points, ended December 29, 2007, 10 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Twilight (Will Comment on every entry) by moonwriter.
550 points, ended June 2, 2008, 9 entries
Honorable mention
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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Wow. Nice story, I loved it.
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My heart aches for him too. After rereading Eclipse, my heart seems to ache for everyone. For Jacob, for Leah, for Sam, for Emily (the last three leading to a long fanfiction that I'm in the process of writing). Even for bella's parents. I nearly lost it the other day when I was reading the part where Jacob promised to be good.
This was really good. I was about to cry at the end. While I love Edward and Bella together, I hate the idea of Jacob miserable. He's awesome. This is a really, really good story. I love the emotion behind it. -
wheeeeeee
i luvvvvvvvvvvvvv da twilight series
good story
make me wanna cry
oo oo i wanna know when midnight sun comes out!
omg bathing in JOY!!!!!!!!!! LALALALAL
even though this story is supposed to depress u >.<
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Oh wow. Such raw emotion in this story. I love it. Poor Jacob. It really makes you feel sorry for him. I love werewolves, and I know the pain he must be going through finding out the one person he loves doesn't return his love.
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My Long Review As A Contest Hostess
Six Traits of Writing
Ideas and content: Your ideas are very straight forward and clear. Your details add to the over all idea though at times I felt they were to blunt.
Organization: Your intro and conclusion were both very fitting to the topic. Your flow from event to event seemed rather choppy to me. Almost as if it bounced along.
Voice: I'm sorry but this seemed rather generic to me. I felt as if hundreds could have written with this topic and I could have gotten the same impression. You didn't really bring anything new to the table.
Word Choice: I felt as if the word choice was lacking. Only a few words really seemed to catch my interest and give a clear picture. I got an impression of repetition.
Sentence Fluency: It flowed some what but did not feel very natural or easy to read.
Conventions: The only conventional problems I could find was a comma missing here and there.
Contest Qualifications
Detail: I didn't really get any details out of this. It felt like I was being guided on a bumpy road that was event to event. Details soften and give deeper meaning to a piece. Also this contest is 50% detail and I didn't really get that.
Emotion: I found that since you didn't have much detail or insight it felt a little cliche. It was like hearing someone read a script without emotion: the basic idea is there but it doesn't have that umph.
I really don't intend to be cruel or mean in anyway. I hope I didn't offend. I just really like it when I get in-depth criticism and it helps me so I carry it over.
Thank you for your entry and good luck. -
Beautiful
It was great, I really got into it. I recognized Jacob's name and took me a minute to remember. Beautiful
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Wow, this is beautiful! I am vaguely familiar with the books, so I am glad that you have penned this utter brilliance.
Your story was visual, and I felt for poor Jacob, and everything that he must be going through, in his love for Bella. It was full of sadness and imagery, exactly what I was looking for in the contest. I felt his pain! Beautifully-written, and well done... All the best to you! -
*nods and cries* I prefer Jacob over Edward. His need for bella and his pain pulls my heartstrings. I love ow you wrote this. You portrayed Jacob perfectly. great T-T
beginning: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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tnx for entering the conteset.
wow this is really good. i love the twilight series. it helps when i actaully know what the fanfiction it about! anyways this is really good! i love it. and your actually the first to actaully kind of explain why you wrote this story so bounus for you!! anways great story i really do like it.
good luck and keep it up.
-LostSoul
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Now this was a beautiful fan fiction sotry..Im not one for fan but this was written brilliantly please keep up th great work
good luck
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omg i love jacob. hes my favorite. i maen edward is cool and all but jake is better. i havent gotten to read eclipse yet. is it good. im dying to read it.
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I thought that this was really great! Poor Jacob! Your style and wording is beautiful. Almost made me cry for him, although Jacob grated on my nerves to no end in Eclipse. I LOVE Edward, but I'll always feel for Jacob. Can't wait for Breaking Dawn. Anyway, this was very good, although it would have fit more with the original story if Jacob had been more vicious towards Edward. But, just my opinion. VERY NICE!
-Anne -
Interesting take on the Bella/Jacob dynamic. You did a really good job of capturing Jacob's emotions, although there were a few moments of cliche. I completely agree with you though: Jacob never gets enough attention. However, it was always my impression that Jacob was not lying when he told Bella he had not imprinted on her. When one imprints, they will do anything, including let the person they imprinted on be with someone else, as long as it makes them happy. At least that is my take on it. Over all, a good fanfiction and an original point of view.
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Werewolves!!!
Omg! Wolves! Howls!! I love this
hmm but its kind of sad!! I pity him...my wolf brother...sobs...
don't cry don't cry i'm here lol^^! Hmm very nicely donw Elfy i really love it!!! Keep on writing!!!!^_^
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