Jock's revenge.

He always did catch my eye.1

I knew he was too good for me. 2

Icy green eyes that made me melt.3

Too Good.4

I was the prep, the pretty girl.
He was the misfit, black hair, tight jeans, and the lip rings.5

I was too talkative in class
and he hardly talked at all.6

He was amazing, and he didn't even know it.7

Unrequited love.8

9th graders without a clue.9

He'd be the first.10

The first to see the real me.11

The misfit, tight jeans, and straightened, in-my-face hair.12

We shared the ocassional smile.13

Neither of us knew.14

We were crazy about each other.15

Football jocks wanted me.16

To flaunt.17

[i'm no prize to be won.]18

Every highschool jock wanted to see me on their arm,19

The Cheerleader, miss perfect.20

[yeah right, have  you MET my family?]21

He was jealous, the quaterback.22

Seeing the girl who was once a cheerleader[slut]23

a pretty girl[whore]24

Off and about with some loser.25

Some fag?26

i wanted her. 27

 28

If i can't have the cheerleader.29

nobody can have her.30

that emo kid didn't deserve her.31

Not MY GIRL.32

Different clothes or not.33

she wasn't some whore.34

She had a perfect family.35

A younger well behaved brother.36

A father who was a Neurosurgeon.37

A mother, house maker.38

The IDEAL family.39

i made my plans.40

[if i can't have her no-one can]41

soon enough,42

revenge will come.43

Some jock, after me?44

Word around school.45

He was Pissed with Hailey.46

That stupid jock.47

Hand in jacket, out a gun.48

He didn't aim it at me.49

But at hailey.50

How could he??51

i couldn't let him.52

I jump.
53

[i love you hailey forever and always]
54

Peaceful Night.55

interruppted by revenge.56

a hate.
57

I'm sure you've heard this one before.58

Cliche lines. love.
59

what a joke, right?60

That night, No one was laughing.
61

A gunshot,62

a hero,63

and a love lost.64

 65

Guilt consumes, one last time.66

 67

There were two deaths that night.68

 69

One sure to come.70

 71

Still no one's laughing.72

 73

Author notes

hope the perspective chages made sice. it was my first time doing it this way.

A contest entry

I know that the perspective changed. person to person.n But was the flow smooth? did it make sense?

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • emoxxchic
    January 28
    Edit | Reply
    wow i loved it...
    awesome..


  • xxmomoxxx
    February 20, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    yeah as missy said- this flows really smoothly and it was very clear- great job!


  • Melissa Loves Jeffy
    December 15, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    This is really good and so sad. Great job and good luck in the contest. Yes it flowed ver smoothly.

  • emochixrok
    December 9, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    this is awesome

  • emochixrok
    December 9, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    this is awesome!!

    • no-way-ap
      December 10, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      thankss

      Thanks i think it was kind of confusing, jumping perspective. hope it was alright, and thanks for the comment.


  • Hermanator1 silver member
    December 8, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    A little confusing

    I am sure that jumping perspective would be hard and I have no suggestion how to improve it. It is not a style I would chose because I could not pull it off. I hope someone is able to assist and I admire your guts at attempting something difficult.

    beginning: 3, language: 3, plot: 4, ending: 3, dialog: 3, characters: 4.

1 - 7 of 7