Rejection Letter

Dear Disappointing Specimen of a Human,1

Your incompetence astounds us. In fact, you provided quite a nice laugh in the office. After we read your manuscript with insurmountable disgust, (if the word "script" should even be associated with a piece of excrement as rare as this) I made several copies of the mess and posted them around the workplace. Your momentous failings have increased morale greatly here.2

Thank you for being so devastatingly horrible; it was quite refreshing. Everyone needs a moment like that of which you have provided, a moment to think, "At least I haven't fallen that low. I don't think I could fall that low if I dug straight down for the rest of my life. What a nice thought! I think I'll have a cup of joe."3

Sincerely
The Rejection Agency

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Letter

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 15 of 15

  • KeepDriving
    January 7

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    Thanks for entering the contest! I liked how you took the "rejection letter" thing a step further and got inside of the writer of the letter's head... if that makes sense. Good luck in the contest!

    -Jenny


  • Forgotten Anomaly
    December 12, 2008

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    I didn't find this quite as funny as most but I also have a consuming fear of regection and could just imagaine someone thinking this as they read one of my peices. I've never been able to get the curouge to send out one of my peices for publication for this reason exactly. A well writen peice though. Thank you for entering and good luck.


  • happy go lucky13
    April 25, 2008
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    nicee


  • Miss Hanako Cullen
    April 4, 2008
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    This was a good track to the "Rejection Letter" type. Though I didn't think it was very funny, but then again I'm not in the best of moods at the moment. I liked the wording and use of phrases in this letter.

    I'm sure were I happier, this would indeed be very funny. : )

    Great Job!


  • Phoenix Orion
    March 29, 2008

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    This was funny. I liked it. Alot. In fact it is one of the few in the contest that I am sure I will use if I follow through with my forensics piece.
    Thanks for entering.


  • x-sweet-sunshine-x
    March 27, 2008

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    This is really good! It's very funny. I love the ending. It is also very well proofread, because I could find no grammar or spelling mistakes! I would like to thank you for entering, and say good luck and keep writing!


  • Cheerful-Panda
    March 21, 2008
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    hahaha good luck !


  • Peachy
    January 23, 2008
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    That made me giggle, excellent choice of words!
    Good Luck!


  • beezy92
    December 20, 2007
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    PS

    If you don't find this funny...try reading it out loud with a British accent


  • Araina
    December 20, 2007

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    Hilarious

    Ok so I had to go read more of your stuff, and this had me laughing from the beginning. I must use this sometime - I literally have to reject things all day long and sometimes I despair of ever seeing anything done right.


  • elfflower1989
    December 9, 2007
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    Lol I thought this was hilarious but ugh, I hate being rejected ><'


  • Hermanator1 silver member
    December 8, 2007

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    Ii must be true...somewhere

    I liked the use of descriptive language. Nothing better than an acidic adjective to wound someone! You did have one run-on sentence that detracted somewhat, from an otherwise funny piece. It was the second sentence of the second paragraph. I see it was commented on by Bitter Irony except that it was also wrong. The first of the two examples was the best but drop the "Us." It is understood and therefor becomes redundant. The second ends using a preposition; no es correcto!
    Keep burning out more product. You already know I think you are talented.

    beginning: 5, language: 3, plot: 4, ending: 5, dialog: 4, characters: 5.


  • Melli
    December 8, 2007

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    Haha, are their really rejection agency? if so, i know where I want to work!!! Hehe, anyways. . . I liked this one a lot. It made me life in my head, just not outloud. It was still very funny, and I liked how this somehow could be a bit true. I would like to see this happen to someone in real life. Gosh, im terrible. Good peice, good grammar, good spelling, and i really liked it! keep it up. :]]

    KEEP WRITING!!!

    -Melli


  • Caledonia
    December 7, 2007

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    this is really funny. i loved it. its so much better than those boring letters you really get in the mail. this was fantastic. caylierose


  • Bitter Irony
    December 7, 2007

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    Brilliant! You had me hooked from the opening. "Dear Disappointing Specimen of a Human..." Sometimes I wish I could address people as such! :-)

    I did catch one grammar error: "Everyone needs a moment like that which you've provided us with" should be "Everyone needs a moment like that which you've provided us" or "Everyone needs a moment like that you've provided us with."

    Otherwise, it was excellent. Hilariously funny--I actually began laughing out loud at the end, something I haven't done for a while! Great job!

    Thanks for entering the contest, and good luck!

    ~Bitter Irony

1 - 15 of 15