the Little Pinecone


Once upon a time;1


This is how most stories I know begin. All of the best ones I heard.2


A little pinecone fell from a very large pine tree. This was to be the last year she would have pinecones. As it fell , the wind blew. Off where pinecones go, off in the blue. Miles and miles it was tossed as it was tossed and turned. Down the road an around the bend.3

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Many miles away a child found it in his yard at play. Into his house with his new treasure he went. He sat it on his desk like a little tree.5

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Thinking it as a tree, he put it in his large flower pot. he added a car, a house and a few little stones. Just like his dad said, "You have every thing if you have a house, tree, and a car."7

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Time moved on and the little boy went off to school. The room was emptyed. The little master left behind his car house, into a box in the atic they went. The pinecone went another way, into a box marked trash.9

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To the road and falling out of the box. It was laying in a pile of leaves on the side of the road. A city truck came and took it with the load. Someone said it was bound to end up in the trash or as mulch.11

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The little pinecone fell out of the truck as the wind blew.13

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Down the road and around the bend. Further and further away it went.15

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A lady found it on the street. How happy she was with her treasure. Off she went to her craft room. Gold spray, red ribbons,17

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pearls, crystals , and a tiny little angel for the top. Then she wired it to a wreath. Just pretty eniugh to give away or yes, hang in our front door. "We shall see?"19

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Saddness came to the house, during the holidays. After Christmas the wreath was taken down, and placed to the street's edge. There it was left arrended.21

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Everytime the pinecone was left close to the street pinecone seeds fell from the cone. The loosen seeds planted themself along the path. Little pinecones were left, still the pinecone traveled. 23

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A child came by and picked it up and took the wreath to his home. The home was a collection of boxes. Everyone was pleased to see some beauty even if it was after Christmas. In the fire light a candle was lit and they sang of joy. As the fire died down the threw in the wreath for warmth. More seed went up in the smoke. When the fire did go out the all went to sleep.25

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Many years later, everywhere the little pinecone had traveled there were more pine trees. The was a long path of them . Many miles there was a line down the road and around the bend.27

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Many were in the path of a new road that was being build, and they had to be cut down. It was close to Christmas again. They were saved, and put with the other trees for the holidays. Some were dug up and replanted for downtowns, some for homes in need of trees. In the twenty years it had all happened, only a few trees had pinecones in them. A little one had it's first small one. The tree was cut down, with some others that were in the way. Off to the sale they all were loaded.29

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"The tree is crooked!" said one. "Cut that part of it off." "Maybe I can use part of it for swags." 31

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"One trimming coming up." "Burr went the saw."33

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Off went the branches. The next tree more branches were cut for the mantel. Another triming was done. Thia tree was too tall, trim off the top. "The top stays, you can use it in your fire to keep warm.35

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The little pinecone fell off with the last cutting. As it rolled away a gentelman coming up the street saw the pinecone and picked it up.37

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He smiled and said, "You look familiar, I once had one like you." "Would you like a home?" "Let's go to my house!"39

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" I have an empty flower pot. " "Where I have a car, and a house." All I need is a little pine tree." 41

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A contest entry

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Comments


  • Writehanded
    December 14, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    "Many miles away a child found it in his yard at play." The way you worded this sentence, it makes it sound as though the pinecone was at play rather than the boy! Try "Many miles away a child at play in his yard found it."

    "he added a car, a house and a few little stones." Capitalize "he".

    "The room was emptyed." "Emptied" not emptyed.

    "A lady found it on the street. How happy she was with her treasure. Off she went to her craft room. Gold spray, red ribbons,

    pearls, crystals , and a tiny little angel for the top. Then she wired it to a wreath. Just pretty eniugh to give away or yes, hang in our front door. "We shall see?" " Typo on "enough" and you had a paragraph break in the middle of a sentence.

    "The loosen seeds planted themself along the path." Should be "loosened."

    "As the fire died down the threw in the wreath for warmth." "They", not "the."

    "Thia tree was too tall, trim off the top." Left out words, maybe?

    Your concept for this story was creative, and I liked that rather than center it purely around the pinecone, you also focused on the people whose lives it became a part of. [:

    However, the writing was a little choppy in places and I double checked, but didn't see the required "it's the thought that counts" in a sentence. ]:

    So it didn't meet contest requirements, but nice job anyway! [: