the heart of Love

Jared and Kaylie were standing next to her locker kissing each other sensually. They were the cutest couple in all of Kennedy High; even their yearbook photo for cutest couple was cute.
He was tall, handsome, blue eyes, chiseled jaw, abs and arms. She was sophisticated. Luscious brown tresses framed her face. Her brown eyes sparkled like new sea shells being washed upon shore. Her skin was as sleek as a brand new Jaguar convertible. 1

He was admired for his sporting skills - Lacrosse, Basketball, and Hockey.
She was idolized for her perfect 4.0 GPA, her time spent as Senior Class President and Dance Commitee leader, and a Big Sisters Little Sisters Officer. 2

Kaylie had a secret. A secret that could either demote her from all her extra curricular activities or give her pity. Neither did she want. Underneath her beautiful indian red locks, scalp was as shiny as a new penny. The hair everybody saw was a fake. It was a wig. Kaylie Chastity Banks was a cancer patient. The blood cells in her liver were being defeated. Truth of the matter is she only had months to live if she didn't get the operation. Her doctor, Dr. Sutter, told her that while she's waiting for a donor she should live her life like any other eighteen-year-old girl. That is exactly what she did. 3

February 14th, 2008. Jared knocked on her door, and stood back. Kaylie pranced down the stairs, checked her makeup and hair in the mirror and opened the door. He presented her with a bouquet of deep red roses. 4

"Jared. Oh my god these are so beautiful." She awed. 5

"Only the best for you." He whispered in her ear. He grabbed her jacket and draped it over her shoulders.
"But you're forgetting one thing." He placed a small card in her palm.
She opened it and read it,
"There are eleven roses and one fake within the bouquet; I will always love you until the last one dies."
Tears of happiness and sorrow welled up in Kaylie's eyes. She couldn't believe she had found "the one" and she had to leave him.
"I love this, Jared." She said as she wiped away a stray tear.
Jared had taken her to their favorite restaurant, The Diamond Cafe. This bistro was where they first met for winter formal sophomore year.
He sat in the corner with her laying against his shoulder. They each picked at the big banana split they ordered for dessert. She pushed herself up from her comfortable position and she give him a loving kiss on the lips. 6

"mmm... I love it when you do that."
"And I love you for that." She replied. He looked her straight in the eye.
"how much do you love me?" She asked.
"I love you more than life itself, I would die for you." He said.
"Would you ever let me go?" She asked.
He shook his head no.
"What's wrong?" He asked.
"Why do you suspect something is wrong?" She replied; suddenly her guard is up.
"something is giving me a hunch that something is wrong."
"Nothing, I assure you." She giggled a bit. He let out a relieving sigh. She kissed him once more to cease his doubt, but even a loving kiss from the love of his life couldn't subdue his doubt. 7

February 16th, 2008. Kaylie wasn't feeling to well that night, Jared came over with all her favorite comfort foods. Kaylie's parents were out for the evening with Kaylie's siblings; Jared and Kaylie were alone. Considering Kaylie was feeling like she was lifeless she just laid across her boyfriend's broad chest as they watched the Grammy Awards on television. 8

"Babe, do you think there is a heaven?"
Jared, was taken aback by this question.
"Yea, I think there's a heaven."
"How are you so sure?" She asked him.
"Because, Heaven blessed me with an angel named Kaylie." he responded.
"What do you think heaven is like?" She asked.
He hoisted himself upright, and she maneuvered onto her stomach.
"Baby tell me now, what are you hiding?"
She gulped. She knew in the back of her mind she had to tell him. He didn't deserve not to know. She gulped once more and responded with a "nothing."
Why couldn't she tell him? What was holding her back? Whether she was going to tell him herself about her condition or it ate her alive, Jared was bound to find out. 9

February 21st, 2008. Kaylie reluctantly went to school. She was feeling worse than before. She didn't have much an appetite, her weight was dropping drastically, and all she wanted to do was sleep. Today was the day she was going to tell him at lunch about her disease. But lunch would have to wait by the time she got to her second class of the morning. She eased into her desk in Mr. Galasso's history class, opened up her book and literally slammed her head into the book. The pages made a nice cushion between the oak wood desk and her skull. 10

"Miss Banks, are you okay?" Mr. Galasso asked.
She raised her head enough to look at him. Her eyes were glazed and crusty around the bottom part of her eyelid.
"Yea, I'm fine." she stuttered. "I just have this really bad headaaa-" She couldn't even finish her sentence before fainting. A loud gasp went through the class room. Kaylie's friend, Vince, kneeled to her side and started checking her pulse. 11

"Somebody call 911." A girl shouted. Mr. Galasso quickly dialed the number. 12

"911, what's your emergency."
"A young girl in my classroom just fainted." Mr. Galasso responded.
"And her pulse is fading!" Vince yelled.
"Okay, Sir please tell me where you're at?" The dispatcher replied.
"I'm a teacher at Kennedy High School, in Big Bear California. 34545 south Halo street. Room 51." Mr. Galasso responded.
"Okay I'm sending help right now."
"thank you." He said and hung up the phone. Minutes passed and EMTs stormed through the classroom.
"Lets give them room." Mr. Galasso commanded. Vince helped he medical technicians place Kaylie's limp body onto the gurney and rushed her to the ambulance. Vince climbed into the ambulance with the rest of the the EMTs as the ambulance drove away towards Big Bear Community Hospital.
"I have an 18-year-old female, with me, about five feet four inches, weight estimate 110lbs. Brown hair Brown eyes." One EMT spoke into the walkie talkie. The other team members gently pulled the gurney out of the ambulance and rushed her inside the hospital. Vince got out of the medical vehicle once the rush was over and was left with the unfortunate task of calling Kaylie's family. Vince called Jared's cell but he had turned it off during hockey practice, which took up most of his morning. 13

End of the third period bell rang and Jared left his class to get his next book, when he ran into his lacrosse buddy, Cameron.
"Hey man whats up?"
"Listen, I uh.. kinda got bad news."
"With you, nothing is ever bad enough." Jared replied not looking at his friend.
"Yeah this is pretty bad. Jared, it's with Kaylie." Cameron stammered.
"What about her, She's supposed to be in Home Ec I think."
"Yeah she's not there." Cameron replied.
"Okay... then tell me the news that is supposedly bad." Jared responded.
"Kaylie was taken to the hospital during second hour." Cameron spat out. Jared's heart literally wanted to break out of his chest.
"Where did you hear this?" He panicked.
"Allison told me she fainted in Mr. Galasso's class." Cameron sighed.
"What happened to make her faint?" Jared stammered.
"There's so many rumors going around, but you need to be at Big Bear Community hospital, now." Cameron told him. Jared stuffed his book in his backpack and ran towards the front doors of the school. He placed his helmet over his head and hopped onto his motorcycle. He revved up the engine and sped towards the hospital. He rode into the hospital parking lot, parked his bike and ran into the Emergency room. Kaylie's mom saw Jared right away.
"Jared," she called. He rushed over to the family. Kaylie's sister Brittany gave him a hug.
"What's going on. Why is she here?" He asked, still panicking.
"You don't know?" Kaylie's mom replied. The look on his face was a definite "no." 14

"You might want to sit down for this." Brittany stammered.
"Just tell me." Jared replied harshly.
"Jared, Kaylie has liver cancer. She doesn't have much time left. She's on the list for a donor but it's a really extensive search to find one." Brittany exclaimed calmly. For the first time in a decade tears welled up in Jared's eyes.
"Banks family." A nurse called out. Kaylie's mother and father stood up.
"Kaylie is stable now, she's awake and you may see her but she's very weak. Only two people at a time though. We are going to have to keep her here until we find a donor."
"Have you moved her to the immediate donor list?" Kaylie's father asked.
"Yes sir we have. We have a full team of doctor's and nurses and colleagues working on Kaylie." The nurse replied.
"Thank you." Kaylie's mom responded. "Brittany why don't you and Jared go in first. Kaylie would love it if she saw two smiling faces." 15

Brittany and Jared walked in. The scene was almost too surreal. Although Brittany had seen her bald sister it was still too intense. Brittany cried her eyes out as she tried to gently wrap her arms around her frail sister. Kaylie tried her best to comfort Brittany. Jared took a seat next to Kaylie's bed.16

"I'll leave you two alone." Brittany said as she regained her composure. 17

"So this is new..." Jared said tried to making humor out of the situation. Kaylie couldn't help but giggle a little bit. She knew all Jared wanted to do was just make her feel better, whether it was a little paper cut or cancer, he was there for her to make sure she smiles once again.
"You're not supposed to see me like this." She said softly.
"I've seen you when you're pmsing, trust me that's worse." He lightly replied. "personally I like the no hair."
"Okay now that just going overboard." She said.
"Sowwie." He said in a squeaky, tiny voice. Once again Kaylie couldn't help it but laugh.
"Why didn't you tell me?" He asked. He held her hand in his as he looked her in the eye. 18

"Because, The doctor's said to live me life as normal as I could. And I was going to tell you, I just could never find the right time." She spoke softly.
"There never is a right time." he responded.
"Did Brittany tell you I have liver cancer?" She asked. He gulped and nodded yes.
"Is that why you were asking me how much I love you, and those questions about heaven?" He asked.
"truthfully, yes. My chances of living for very grim." She commented. Jared got up from his seat and leaned over her, he kissed her on the forehead and whispered in her ear, "You're going to be okay. I've told you once and I'll tell you again, I'm not going to let anything happen to you."
"I'm so tired." She whispered.
"get some sleep. I'll be right here when you wake up." He replied. She shifted in the hospital bed trying her best to get comfortable. She drifted into a light slumber. He left her side just for a few minutes, so her parents could see her. Her mom placed her daughter's favorite stuffed animal under her limp arm. 19

Jared caught up with the main nurse taking care of Kaylie. She led him into an empty hospital room and started taking his vital signs. She asked him some medical questions, then said she'll be back and to relax upon the bed. The nurse came back with a trainee nurse, and a tray of supplies. After an hour of test taking his samples were being transferred to the lab. He went back into Kaylie's room and grazed her cheek with his finger.
'She's so beautiful' He thought. He leaned back in the chair and watched tv while she slept. 20

Three day's later, Jared was still there with his beloved girlfriend. Her parents had been informed about a donor, and how complicated the surgery could be. February 24th was the day of the surgery. The nurse started prepping Kaylie for surgery, but with every movement Kaylie made, it hurt.
"We'll be here when you get out." Kaylie's parents assured her. All the assurance in the world couldn't shake the feeling that she could die on that operating table. The nurse gave Kaylie and Jared a few minutes before transmitting her to the operation room. 21

"Kaylie, words aren't enough for what I have to say, but I love you. That's the only way I know how to express that you have my heart. I wouldn't be who I am today if it weren't for you."
"I love you too, Jared." She replied weakly. He kissed her on the lips softly.
"Kaylie, it's time." The doctor said as he came in. Kaylie just gulped. Jared gave her one last kiss on her forehead goodbye.22

The surgery was complicated like the doctor's said and took about five hours, but it was successful. For one of them atleast.
Kaylie woke up later that day, confused. "What happened?" She asked as she tried to sit up. Kaylie's parent's looked at each other. Brittany cradled her sister's hand. The surgeon looked at her than said "Your man went under the knife too. He was a match for you and he gave you his good liver, in order to save your life." Kaylie couldn't help it but cry. Brittany hugged her as she cried immensely. Everything was too surreal. She couldn't believe it that when he had kissed her, that was his last kiss. He was kissing her goodbye. He loved her so much, he would die for her. He loved her too much to let her go so he took her place trusting God that one day in Heaven, he would see her beautiful face again. And they would have the heavenly wedding they always wanted. But for now he will look after her like he always has when he was on Earth.

Author notes

I'll change the background soon. I'm making a custom one for this story that will make the text readable.

option 1
departing forever.
sowwie if its too long. I just had too much inspiration within me.

MY favorite movie is Blades of Glory.

A contest entry

Oh yeah, Im Nikki. and i live in california yay! im 18. and idk what else too say.

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have 0. (?) (Line numbers)
    Ratings:

Comments

1 - 19 of 19

  • nixers
    May 27

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, I love it! It's so well written and it keeps the suspense. I have, however, got a few suggestions for you.

    Firstly, try not to give away Kaylie's secret in the beginning, just mention that she has one. This will keep the reader hooked. Also, you do the dialogue very well, but when you start it on a new line you don't start with a capital. Also, at one part you said, "exclaimed calmly" and that is an oxymoron because when you exclaim something you can't do it gently.

    If you could revise this and make it longer, add more detail between all the dialogue and keep hinting at the secret it would be a brilliant story. Also, put more detail in the paragraph where you talk about Jared's death and what he did for her. Tell us how Kaylie felt etc etc. That is the climax of the story, if you write it well, you could get a few tears from people.

    Otherwise, well done! I really enjoyed the story! Good luck in the contest and keep writing.


  • Hidden Within
    April 17
    Edit | Reply
    *cries* so sweet, but so sad T_T Nice work!


  • bakermiddle
    April 9

    Edit | Reply
    This was a nicely written story that really showed how two young people truly love each other. This was exactly what I was looking for. I could put myself in Jared’s shoes, but that’s a different story… Anyhow, great job and good luck in the contest!

  • Im like crying! This is so sad but so sweet! Great story!

  • Aww, this is soo good! A couple of minor edits:

    1."mmm... I love it when you do that." Should "mmm" be "Mmmm"?

    2."something is giving me a hunch that something is wrong." Should "something" be capitalized?

    Just a few more errors like that are throughout the story.

    Ahhh! It is sooooo sad when Jared died! I almost cried. Good luck and thanks for the entry. Keep writing!


  • tabbykat92
    March 11

    Edit | Reply
    This story was definitely very good, although it did get awkward in some spots, and the grammar was a bit touchy. Thanks for entering and good luck in the contest.

  • i absolutely love this story everytime i read it.
    i teared. indeed i did.
    thanks so entering and good luck!

  • Oh =[ how sad! he died for her.I still can't believe that.

    "how much do you love me?" She asked.
    "I love you more than life itself, I would die for you." He said.

    How few people actually mean that.

    Very well done.


  • DarkOneShadow silver member
    January 21

    Edit | Reply

    This was a good story

    It showed the boyfriend's devotion, however in real life... this wouldn't really happen because the doctor wouldn't allow a person to die while another live. Goes against the Hippocratic Oath. Still good story.

    DarkOne


  • emperess27
    January 19

    Edit | Reply

    Aww

    Aww, that was such a sad story. Oh, I feel so sorry for her knowing her boyfriend died, even though he died to save her. What a well done story, so very good. Well done. Kais

  • OneLastThing--x
    January 17

    Edit | Reply
    This is a really sad story but an excellent write. I will try to comment more before the contest closes. Thank you and good luck.
    -Alone

  • Rina123
    January 16

    Edit | Reply
    I adored this story! I think that if you wrote more it could even be a published book. There were a few minor mistakes, but I don't worry about those too mucg. Thanks so much for entering, and good luck!


  • IxLovexElphiex
    December 23, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Good!

    I liked the plot of this story a lot. Very romantic! OMG but sooo sad! I can't believe he died! But it fit great with my contest! Background...not good. Really distracting. And there were several grammer and capitalization errors. I'm sorry, I'm a grammer Nazi. Haha! Didn't flow as well as I would have liked, and dialogue could have been more believeable. And I could have used
    WAY more description. But other than that, it was very good. Thanks so much for entering, and giving me a movie title! Ha! Good Luck!


  • angel.of.mine
    December 15, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    this was a very gud story. tho ver y very hard to read, i suggest changing the background..
    just one thing i guess. i think you told the reader to soon that she had cance, if you had played it out that something was wrong, but no one knew wat it was , it would of pulled me in more. great write and thanks for entering ^_^


  • damnxrightxitsxanna
    December 7, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    It's cute, and I loved the way you described everything, yuo have lots of talent within you. But I heard a similar story somewhere, and well, the guy was using way too many pick-up lines. I already knew what was going to happen in the end when he entered her room in the hospital, and well, the background is a little bit too shiny, it distracts me from reading... (just a little bit of constructive critisism...)
    But it was described so nicely that I almostt cried... Good luck on the contest.


  • InMemoryofCharlieJr
    December 7, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    This is a wonderful story, so sd great job


  • Sailor Moon
    December 7, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Awwww that was so sad! Admittedly it was another soppy love story but even I got into it! And that's saying something

    Great emotion, I loved it - too bad the boyfriend couldn't be saved - and I luv the background too! XD

    This story was asom girl good work


  • Melli
    December 6, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    I think this was a bit better than the last story i read. it had god awfull grmmar, but thats OK. thats an eeasy fix. This also hs potential, and is a good story. i think think that you should reword a lot of parts, because it doesn't flow as well as it could if did reword it. Good job though, keep it up!

    KEEP WRITING! :


  • Lady-Jane
    December 4, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Wow! So even thought it didnt have the best grammar in the world, that was completely beautiful! I wish i had someone who cared that much about me in my life. I just knew when they talked about the donner list that he would give up his liver..... the end was just fantastif! Great story and good luck in your contets!!!
    -bri

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