There's a woman at work I've been in love with for a few years now and I don't think she even knows it. It amazes me how, every time she walks away from me, she doesn't hear my heart break. It makes sense though, that all my secret yearning and my pain is invisible to her, for every time she is near I cannot help but smile. And every time she smiles I cannot help but laugh, and while my lips ache to kiss her they always, ALWAYS, smile for her whenever she's around. How could they not?1
It all began on my first day at the job. We all work the same hours in a crowded office in God knows where Arkansas, doing menial things like paper shoveling and filing away reports, when I met her. She was the most obnoxious woman I had ever met, her laughter was too loud and her teeth were almost perfect except for that one front tooth that slightly, almost unnoiceably, overlapped the other.But I noticed. She had a nice body and a pleasant voice but when I introduced myself to her, all she did was stare. I've never been so embarassed in my life. She looked at me as though I was some THING dragged in by the cat, she made me feel so self conscious. I walked away before she could see how red my face was, I hated her.2
I knew we'd have to work together eventually. From that moment on, I dreaded the day I'd be partnered with her. I hid my hatred, my embarassment, by cheerfully smiling and waving at her every time she walked by, and eventually she began smiling and waving back. Her smile melted my heart every time, but as soon as she was gone I'd remember my secret hate for her. I couldn't forgive her. 3
Weeks later the day arrived and I found myself sitting in her cubicle, my sweaty hand shaking in agitation as I held the folders we were supposed to work on together. She didn't look at me, she kept her back turned or her eyes on the floor, trying not to stare. I dropped the folders, my hands gripping the table firmly to steady their shaking, and opened my mouth to speak. "I-"4
"Will you go to dinner with me?!"5
My jaw dropped. Before I could say anything she had spun around and looked me right in the eye, asking me out on a date. The vulnerability in her eyes shaped the word yes in my mouth, but cold hatred is a brutal thing and before I knew it, I had said no.6
"I understand." The look on her face was terrible for an instant, an unrecognizable expression that twisted her features, but when I blinked they were back to normal. I'm not sure I didn't imagine it. "Let's get back to work then..."7
Despite my rejection, the work went smoothly. I found out she had a wicked sense of humor and she kept me laughing all day. She didn't seem to have taken my rejection badly at all and I appreciated that she held no bitterness for me. My heart softened and I realized I could no longer be mad at her.8
We became friends. I loved her company so much that I came by to chat with her often during her lunch break, but she never came to visit me. We gew closer and I learned her secrets, that when she was little she tore the heads off Barbies, that she liked coffee only because it hads cream in it, that Daniel, some guy she met at a bar, had asked her out. 9
My heart skipped a beat and I could hear the blood roaring in my ears. I was shocked by my own reaction and immediately, I tried to hide it. "What should I do?" she asked me. "Go," I told her, "and have fun!"10
Well, she certainly had fun. Yesterday I went to their wedding, sat in the front row as her honored guest, her best friend that would always be here for her, especially on a momentous occasion like this. I watched the vows be said, the exchange of rings. I admired her wedding dress, it looked beautiful on her, and imagined myself as the groom. All the while, I was trying to hold back the despair that was invading my heart. She smiled at me, I smiled back, and then she was gone. Off on her honeymoon with another man.11
Today I called in sick to work, knowing she wouldn't be there to miss me. Curled up in bed with a tissue in one hand and cold coffee with lots of cream in the other, I cannot help but miss her. I set the coffee down, spilling because of the trembling in my hands. The bottle for my sleeping pills lies empty on the desk, taking their damn sweet time getting to work. Tears I didn't know I had leak down my cheeks as my heart aches for her. My god what have I done? I should have said yes. I should have...
A contest entry
- The Heart's Desire by UnicornGargoyle.
130 points, ended December 17, 2007, 10 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - The VERY BEST of DARK by Immortal Obscurity.
100 points, ended January 14, 2008, 18 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Bring Me Your Best Stuff!! by darkangel7567.
350 points, ended January 8, 2008, 27 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - I wanna cry by Elphinstone.
300 points, ended September 28, 2008, 16 entries
Honorable mention
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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Noooo...I sincerely hope this was just pure fiction. Stupid idiot. I hope he didn't kill himself.
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ohmigosh. that was one of the most depressing things I have ever read on storywrite! whoa that was majorly magnifico! Yay you! that was seriously great!
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Well, actions speak louder than words, so they all say. That was beautiful, and just what I had in mind. Especially the fact that he had a chance, and turned it down. You managed to get the emotion just right. Well done
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woulda=? shoulda=didn't coulda=can't.. isn't that the way it goes, hind sight is 20/20.. very good, i loved it..recently I did something I shouldnt'a and I can't fix it..you hit it on the head...
beginning: 4, language: 4, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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Chuckles...I still don't know!
I read this story before, some time ago but apparently did not leave a comment, although I usually do for such well written stories.
Then I read the comments, which I think were not there when I read before and understood, I think, although a second reading did not solve my question with certainty.
I will be content to think the story is 'girl on girl', for a male antagonist would not be as sensitive as you wrote, I think, grins...
Excellent! Well done! And shame on you for leaving a little mystery like that and don't pretend it was not intended, it was!
In admiration!
Amicus...
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There's a moral there somewhere
Candace,
Well written as always.
Paragragh 6 (Before I could say anything she had spun around and looked me right in the eye, asking me out on a date.)
Probably didn't need to state that since the dialog right before said: ("Will you go to dinner with me?!") It's redundant.
Sides' that, great story.
Moral,"(He/She who hesitates is lost)
JJ
beginning: 4, language: 5, plot: 4, ending: 4, dialog: 3, characters: 5.
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Caught me right away
It's funny what perspective gives a story. Knowing you are female, I assumed the perspective of the story was from a female point of view....so to me it caught me quickly about a woman desiring another woman....yet when I read the other responses they say they feel bad for 'him' -- where does it say that the subject of the story is a guy? ;-)
- LV
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You know, I've never noiced that. I kind of assumed I was writing as a man as well...but maybe it's just what a woman thinks a man should think like, which is why all my female readers thought the narrator was a guy, but a real male, such as you, thought the narrator was female?
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No....I wouldn't assume that automatically because I think you have at least one guy making the opposite comment from me. It's probably my pervertedness!! What guy doesn't love a girl-on-girl story? lol
Plus, as you've noticed, all of my Joshua/madison stories are from maddie's point of view, so I should be the last one to assume that a female writer will automatically write from a female's perspective.
That said, the fact that it is NOT gender specific probably makes the story all the better! -
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Lol, thanks
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"Love isn't perfection: It's learning to see an imperfect person perfectly." -Anon.
Aw... How sweet, tender and sad this is! It almost reminds me of my NaNoWriMo, in the sense that the male lead ends up loving someone whom he knows he cannot have, and it damn near destroys him.
Your lead was very believable, and his unfortunate circumstance would bring most people to tears. I am not a crier myself, but the end, especially, was written with such love. I felt like I knew your character, as I had my own male lead, and I pitied him. Best of luck to you, and well done! -
Nice :)
I like how the person he falls in love with isn't perfect. It's refreshing that she has some flaws
I thought this was very well written and I really liked the way the story ended. -
hm hm hm.
I must be evil because inside and I laughing at him. I have asked out guys and they have said no like in this story so it is heart warming to think that they may be suffering for their decision....
I am cruel....
beginning: 2, language: 5, plot: 3, ending: 4, dialog: 5, characters: 3.
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*blinks* I am not crying, I am not crying I am not crying I am NOT crying!
*grabs tissues* Ohhh shaddup!
This was beautifully done, with such a personal undertone that of course you feel for the guy. And her. How could she really be so blind?
Cowardice is Love's true enemy!
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Ok, so at first i was like this is such a tipical i love you, you dont love me story and it will just go on about how he was so lonely. I was a bit bored. but then it just changed into something sompletely differerent. This was heartfelt and soo touching. The ending was also par-excellent! Great story and good luck!
-bri -
omg! how heartful! if this is true, poor thing! God knows how you get over that! aww ouch! and I thought I had a bad love life!! bloody good story though and well formatted. well done! x
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I tihnk I'm about to cry!!!
This is so heartwrenching!!! I totally feel for the person whose point of view it's coming from; I think I'd do the same thing with the wedding, and how she wouldn't be at work... :'(
Man, how did you come up with the idea? If it's from a personal experience...! *gives a big hug* mate............so sad! *sniffs and stands up to clap*
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