Coin

I sit here, watching you replace me so easily and I feel like crying. There you are, cuddled so softly against your new man, looking so content. I don’t begrudge you the joy you now feel, but it still hurts. Eighteen years now and you had eyes for no guy but me, and I was always there to stand beside you. I don’t truly understand how I feel; sad? Maybe selfish that you’ve found this happiness that I can’t be part of? I never told you, but Jennifer asked me out last summer and I said no to spare you from what I’m feeling right now.1

I try to pretend that I’m watching the TV but I can’t help spy you from the corner of my eye, his arm wrapped, protecting, around your shoulder. You have eyes only for him and I’m happy for you. It almost brings a smile to my face, but it means I’m loosing you. You’re more than just my sister, you’re part of me, part of my life and I’ll always mourn loosing you. I knew I’d have to let you go sometime and I thought that I’d be ready; but I’m not.2

***3

I see you sitting there, your feet curled up under your chin, while I lay my head against his shoulder. I can only imagine what is going through your head right now. I almost didn’t want to bring him home, but he makes me so happy I wanted you to share in my happiness. You’ve been my brother, my rock all my life and I’m sorry if this hurts you. We all have to move on sometimes but I’ll always remember you. After all, how many people have a twin to share their lives with?4

I cuddle deeper, taking comfort in the warmth that he’s giving. It is nothing compared to the support and help you gave me growing up. You were the perfect brother, the perfect friend. These thoughts spiral around my head and I just want to let you know that no one will ever replace you in my life.5

***6

The TV casts and eerie light on the three figures bathing in its glow. Slowly but purposely one gets up from her place of comfort. Turning to her brother she asks “fancy a cup of tea?” When he looks into her eyes, he knows that he has a special place in her heart, a place that no one can ever take from him. He smiles as he answers, “yeah, thanks sis.”