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Beyond the birch and gallow of spring's salvation, an echo did carry, a lifeless song; as petals broke under zephyr's sway, and the two red hues met in a kiss: in sunset and sunrise of flowery twins.5
~*~6
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Author notes
It is amazing how stories can be told within metaphor and a few words. Ironic isn't it, how two twins can be seperated by the mere breadth of relation.
I doubt twins can live one without the other, they would feel -- to put it right -- a red rose in a white boquet, but hey, I've never had a twin.
If Indian karma is true, I'll make an appointment with God for my next life ... promises ... promises ...
A contest entry
- Ten Minute -or less- Entries (You have ten minutes, don't ya?) by Taylor Renee.
350 points, ended December 15, 2007, 34 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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This is very good. You capture a moment in such few words. The descriptions are short, but very good. Great work!
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awwww...sounds poetic...maybe one of the reasons i cudnt understand it. =/
but good job! u got gold on it...congrats!! =D =D
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Very beautiful and poetic. 'Tis true, writers have favorite words. (zephyrs
)
The only thing I could suggest is possibly removing the comma between "an echo did carry, a lifeless song." It doesn't seem right and kinda disrupts the flow.
Otherwise, very nicely penned.
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My dear...
Asfand.
You're absolutely amazing.
Like, amazingly.More than words could say.
This is absolutely no doubt the BEST FINALIST...so far.
Don't get cocky Though you probably easily could.
Anyway.
This is just...amazing.
And the twin thing
It made me smile.
I also loved your author's notes. Your vocabulary was also great here...perfect, as always.
*shakes my head*
You would not believe how happy it makes me you entered this contest.
Thank you.
Best of luck.
xoxo
-♥-
Tay
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It was afully short, but quite poetic, sweet, and romantic.
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This was really good
Ten short and sweet lines and you erupt something poeticially beautiful.
~Lady Madeline.
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