One dark night of prophecies I looked at the broken mirror and let the ancient voice inside of me speak. It was the voice of a vampire’s heart and it spoke of a romance lost in time:1
"And wilt thou leave me thus?
Say nay! say nay!"2
I did not leave him. He came to me lusting after my blood, flirting with my mortal life. I could see his eyes shadowed with a thirst that comes not with simple love but one cursed with the destiny of vampires. And how could I deny him? It was a choice between a life deprived of passion, of his presence, and an immortal one devoted to night, to him. Did I fear? Yes. But not what he had become, not what I would become very soon. Only the pain that comes with the transition, the sharp teeth plunging into my skin, sipping my essence. 3
I started running like the prey I was and he chased me like a predator through forest and glen. I run under the moon’s eerie glow but eventually I did not want to escape. I longed within me for the freedom that my spilt crimson ribbon would bring. I run, I hid, I wandered, I raged in his kingdom of shadows, the one that he had promised to me shall I become his lover, and he was one step behind me, not running but floating above the ground. At last I stopped and he stopped and the world stopped waiting for my condescending. 4
He pleaded no more but gazed deeply into my eyes searching for my soul, this soul that would shrink and die if I forsaked him. I gazed back, green emeralds meeting the abyss, a darkness so sweet, so tempting. A step forward over the leaves that crushed and I had surrendered. I offered my hand expecting not a kiss but a bite. In a moment his teeth were embracing the blood of my veins and I had kneeled like a sheep before a wolf. Such loathsome pain he brought, such pleasure I gave instead to his hunger. 5
And then I felt it, the pain spread from my hand to my heart, to my very depths. I was transforming into a creature of the night leaving behind every piece of my humanity, exchanging it with the shadows that crawled under my skin. When I opened my eyes I did not see a mortal world but rather one enhanced with an otherwordly aura. I was the night and the night was me. I spread my arms and touched an immortality more Divine than God himself. And with this awareness came a thirst so deep that I believe it mirrored in my soul. “Blood” I thought and turned to him like seeing him for the first time after centuries of separation. He was leaning against a tree looking at me with a sudden admiration, an emotion that could not be spoken with words that humans use. The dawn was dangerously breaking shedding its faint light on his eyes so blue yet so hauntingly dark. 6
I did not leave him. How could I after he offered me the freedom men were fighting for since Creation? I could feel it, I was free, free beyond understanding bound only to him and to the blood shared between us. People always thought us cursed, handicapped for we cannot breath under the sun’s light but I had always thought us blessed flying between the stars, grasping a freedom that does not exist even in their dreams. I could not see myself but I knew that I was like a wraith, moonlight on my pale cheekbones, wild gale through my hair, sharp teeth behind my lips. I had the power to hide “forever” in my palm and kiss “eternal” till there was no time or space. Just then he floated next to me taking me out of the reverie of my new existence and kissed me. He kissed me again and again biding the night goodbye until there was no breath left, until there was no part of me he had not explored, until the word love was not enough and had no real meaning. He cloaked me in a dark embrace embroidered with passion until night came again, and again and again.7
The voice hushed sometime broken with pain. It did not reveal to me why they do not dwell in eternity till now. I did not learn what happened but when I looked into the mirror I saw the same haunting emerald eyes she had spoken of. I sniffed the strong smell of blood , kissed “eternal” a few million times and a moment later it was gone. She had left me.8
Author notes
This was inspired by a dream i recently had.I have not decided yet whether it will remain a shor story or whether it will turn into the prologue of a modern vampiric love story.This is not the final title,i'm still working on it.
name:Genovefa
A contest entry
- Vampires, were-wolves, and pictures! Oh, my! by Friesian.
175 points, ended December 10, 2007, 17 entries
Honorable winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - VAMIRE LORE! by im....
117 points, ended January 6, 2008, 12 entries
Honorable winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Twilight, new moon, eclipse by stephaniemeyerfan.
160 points, ended February 2, 2008, 4 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Best Vampire Story by CrystalTigress.
175 points, ended February 25, 21 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Only the Best Vamp Can Win... by ToxicBlood.
175 points, ended February 14, 14 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Bring on the shorts! by Rose Hathaway.
170 points, ended February 8, 20 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - VAMPIRES! Twilight or not twilight! As Long as there are VAMPIRES!! by ViolenceInSilence.
115 points, ended April 24, 51 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
-
very good. i loved this story. i could see the person looking in the mirror and seeing there eyes
-
Wow! Thanks for entering.
-
Very well done. I like the contrast and the theme of how dark it is, your imagery was spectacular and the peice all together was great! My only suggestion change the font to maybe white or a bright colour like red so it's easier to read. Thankyou for entering
--Bella--
-
I love all the strong description of the transformation. Very insightful.
-
Absolutely Thrilling
it is such a great story and you can count on e reading it again. i will be reading all the stories entered into my contest and then going through picking finalists. Good Luck!
-
this was very interesting, and I also liked how it started. Good luck and amazing JOB!!!
-
very nice job. again...vampires....gotta love it! very nice descriptions and your choice of words is fantastic. i have nothing to say except that maybe the paragraphs need splitting. thanks for entering and good luck!
-
Nice
I absolutely LOVE how the story starts.
This is a really good sentence here: "I spread my arms and touched an immortality more Divine than God himself."
The paragraphs are too long, they need more breaks in them. I almost didn't want to read it because of that.
It isn't the style of writing I prefer, but it's definitely well written just the same
-
-
Thank you for your great comment!!You are actually right about the paragraphs.I've been meaning to cut the 1st one in two or three separate ones but never got around to do it yet. It's just that i wrote it this way when i was inspired and didn't know how to change it when i got out of the mood.lol Anyway thanks again,very happy you enjoyed it!
-
-
VERY VERY VERY EXCELLENT!!!!
I absolutely adored this!!! It was very beautiful and dark at the same time! What an awesome dream to have!! My stories/books are usually based on dreams I have. Great job!!!
-
-
Awww thank you sooo much for the honorable mention and your praiseful comment!I am more than happy that you adored my story
-
-
WOW!
This is truly one of the best vampiric short stories I've ever read.
I love this line:
"I did not leave him. He came to me lusting after my blood, flirting with my mortal life."
And I love it how you used the colour of your eyes - emerald - in it. It's all so beautiful and poetic! It inspired me a lot! I love the way how she at first tries to fight back but then finally she sort of gives in. And the vampire.. so sexy!
You have improved a lot. I'm so glad for you. Keep this good work up! Don't stop. And I can't wait to read more dark stuff from you.
I don't actually find anything wrong here, no faults. I tried being critical but I guess I just love this story too much to criticise it at the moment.
Well done!
-
-
I'm extremely happy about your comment Suz! It means a lot to me that you like it since i wanted to show it to you from the start. The first line you mentioned is one of my favourites as well. It floated through my mind and inspired me to go on writing. I can't hide it, i am pleased with how this turned out although i would like it to be longer. But usually i go with short and sweet,i don't like my stories being tiring.
Thank you so much for commenting on this and all your praise
-
-
A wonderful piece! The detail was very vivid and the story itself was fluid. This would make a great story. Keep up the good work!
-
WoW!
That was really good. You described well, you made it interesting, and I was eager to read it all the way through. It would be very good as a vampire love story so I hope you do so! I look forward to reading it. By the way, wish I haddreams like that!. Rewarded 6
-
Deep and Interesting!
Wow Nice work! I think you could make it longer though
i like the part where how she viewed the world in her vampiric form! It sounded so...divine. Really Interesting! Continue this story i'm sure a lot of people will like it as well
. Rewarded 4
-
-
Thank you!!Comments mean a lot to me. You are right, theoritically i could have made it longer, i wanted to actually, i didn't want it to end so soon. But my inspiration urged me to write something small yet magical. Maybe one day if i get into the same mood i will expand it.
The way she viewed the world through her vampiric form is crucial to the story because it is not meant to be a vampire story lamenting vampires and their inability to live in the light, it reveals their appeal, their charm, the beauty of their life. Glad you liked it!
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 17 of 17
