Insanity

1

I blinked away blurry vision and unlatched the gate with a soft clink.  I trudged over to my window (not caring that I crushed mom’s flowers she planted by the window, I can blame it on the dog), pulled back the screen, opened it, crawled inside and fell onto the carpeted floor in an ungainly heap.  Grunting, I untangled my limbs and stood.  I staggered to the wall, blindly felt for the light, and switched it on.  Closing my eyes at the sudden brightness, I opened them again and through the spots I saw….me.2

I blinked and looked again.  There I was, sitting calmly on my pale blue and bright green bed.  Granted, the other me’s jacket wasn’t torn, her hair was neat, her jeans weren’t stained with the mud from the garden that I had landed knee first as I climbed over the wall, and she didn’t smell like beer.  Mind you, I had been around beer and the people who had drunk it, but I hadn’t touched the stuff.  I closed my eyes and bit my lip.  3

The apparition smiled, but it was more like she bared her teeth at me.   “You know partying won’t make me go away.  You’ve been sneaking out ever since I appeared.  Trying to get away from me and forget, hm?” She remarked.4

“Why won’t you leave me alone?” I whispered, dragging myself to my bed and falling on top of it.5

“Because,” she hissed as she came nearer.  Her voice was deeper, richer, more melodic than mine.  She was everything I wanted to be and everything I hated.  She was a perfect size four and walked with the grace of a leopard.  6

“Because why?” I asked.7

“Because you won’t let me go away.” She said.8

“Bullshit,”  9

“It’s true,” With a sinking feeling in my stomach, I knew that she was right.10

I flinched as she ran a gentle hand through my hair.  “You reek.  Take a shower.”11

“I can’t take a shower at one in the morning.  I’d wake Mom.”12

“And we wouldn’t want to wake up dear mommy, would we?  Because then mommy would get hurt.  Just like pretty fluffy-bunny did.”13

“Tim.  His name is Tim.  And he’s a boy, not a bunny.” 14

“He was a little bunny toy,” she told me in a singsong tone, twirling her hair around her fingers.15

“I hate what you did to him.  I hate you.” I almost sobbed. 16

“You couldn’t hate me.” she cupped my chin.  “You couldn’t feel anything if you tried.”17

“No!”  18

“It’s too late.  Face it.  You can’t feel anything, and that suits me just fine.  You’re mine.”  Hazel eyes shone with greed.19

I sat up and scooted away from her, but she seized my wrist, squeezing it.  I opened my mouth to cry out when she lowered her mouth to my ear.20

“Cry and you’ll wake up mommy.”  I jerked as she bit my ear, but snapped my mouth shut and managed to swallow the yelp.  21

“You are mine to play with.  Fluffy-bunny was just an appetizer.” Her hot breath ran down my neck.   Her fingers, long and slender with nails painted black and silver, circled my neck, but for once I ignored it.  22

I could almost see my mom sleeping in her bed, pale country-yellow covers pulled up to her chin.  Her long black hair was spread across her pillow.  A small smile formed as my mother shifted, and then lay still.23

She was wrong.  My other self, my dark self, was wrong.24

I couldn’t stop the wolf’s smile that spread across my face.25

She let go of my neck.  She got off the bed and stood in front of me.26

“What the hell are you grinning about?”27

“You are wrong.”28

She snorted.  “I’m never wrong.”29

“That’s what you think.”30

She smiled at me.  “Amuse me, then.  Prove me wrong.”31

“I have emotion, you bitch.  Why do you think I didn’t cry out?  It’s called love.”32

She rolled her eyes.  “That wasn’t your emotion.  You were simply drawing it from me.  Everything that you think you felt, you get from me.  And not all of the emotions you fell running through your body are true.  You think that’s love you’re feeling?  I’m doing that to you, you miserable little twit.  I’m making you feel everything.”33

My eyes widened and my mouth dropped open.  “No,” I whispered.   “Haven’t you figured it out?” her voice mocked me.  “You will never be rid of me.  You will never win.  You are my prize.  My possession.  Forever.” 34

“No!” I cried and jumped up from the bed, tackling her.  We both fell to the cream-colored carpet, missing my black wooden armoire by mere inches.  I tried to hit her, but she threw me off her and grabbed my arm, twisting it painfully behind my back.  Her foot was a heavy weight on my shoulder blades, pushing my face into the plush softness.  Out of the corner of my eye I could see my white and blue walls and my desk with its lone computer.  Beside that I could spot my black wooden bookcase filled with thick books.  Her nails drew themselves across the back of my neck.35

“You will never win,” she laughed, and I closed my eyes as tears fell down my cheeks.36