God delivered me.
he must have had so much in mind for me
with eyes as wide as a blue slate moon,
with lips so tickle-me-pink
it should have been impossible not to love me1
He gave my mother the beauty of an eastern sunrise.
he gave her strength when most in need,
to hold us when lost of mirth. 2
But when she gave birth to me
tears formed at the base.
not only from my eyes
But from everyone else. 3
Back in my safe cradle
I awoke and faces were staring at me in awe.
My smile gleamed with warmth and glow.
My eyes sparkled with joy and grace 4
The gazes started to turn dark and cold
The people started leaving.
I didn't see my mother's noble beauty
The beauty she absorbs from all the tulips around her. 5
I started to get antsy.
I wanted my mommy.
But something told me
I would never see her again
Or those faces that were admiring me 6
It stuns me that God delivered a
newborn baby girl.
He brought her down from up above.
he gave her everything he has,
And he trusted a family to give her love,
and they turn their backs on Him.
How could they not love me?
Author notes
So sorry it's late. I tried my best with this prompt with all the holiday spirit just around the corner and kicking me in the arse. I take all suggestions about my work into consideration. Please tell me if something is not right within my poem. thank you
A contest entry
- The Poet's Challenge - Round II by Asfand.
100 points, ended December 22, 2007, 8 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - I Want STRONG Emotions!!! by I Dare to Dream.
900 points, ended January 24, 2008, 41 entries
Honorable mention
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Hey, this is written really well SD. I love it. It's like ur really feeling what u wrote. i love it when u can connect to poetry like that.
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I've actually read this before. But my lazy self didn't comment.
Anyway. Wow. I love this. I mean really. It reminds me of the time before Islam, when people used to bury their daughters alive.
It fills me with rage, to think of the innocent children who died simply because of their gender. And this poem was an excellent example, from the baby's point of view. Very sad.
Love it.
Good luck!
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Lol, my mom was disappointed that I wasn't a boy. In asian culture, sons are valued over daughters because they carry on the family name. It was ok though, because after me my brother was born (and then two more sisters XD) But anyway, this poem reminded me of all the daughters that are killed simply for being female. It's a sad fact and I don't really understand it....I hope that someone who thinks this way will read the poem and start seeing the tragedy behind these thrown away daughters.
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newborn baby girl
and they turn their backs on him.
-- These two lines were a bit confusing, if only because the 'him' seems to refer to the female baby. Are you referring to God instead? If so, definitely capitalize "Him" to at least keep down the confusion.
Besides that, this was awesome. Well, awesome isn't the word that struck me during the poem. How about "lovely"? You wrote this is a really lovely way. The imagery, the words, the innocence of the kid. Great job with it.
I liked this. Good work. -
Before the advent of Islam in Arabia, it was a common practise to burn or bury alive a new born baby girl, as it was said to show disgrace for the family.
Sighs ...
A nice touch, with the finality and the ending with irony. Wonderful, it hits home this one does.
Go edit, unclick the 'fix line spacing and put these lines together as proper stanzas per thought. Clicking the fix line spacing in poems casts extra lines.
Nice job!
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