Chapter Two- Part five #1
Christophers ....P.O.V2
"You have come to the end of the road Christopher," a voice behind whispered. "Christopher turn around," it whispered again, and Christopher turned around sharply, listening for another sound. "You have come," it echoed throughout the darkened Forrest, and throughout his mind.3
"Who... who is there," he stuttered nervously, walking forwards into the darkness.4
The voice had consumed his mind.5
" The end Christopher, you have come."6
Christopher followed the voice, walking down the dirt path, paying special attention to the whispering tree's.7
"WHAT END," he cried.8
"The road Christopher,"9
He stopped walking, looking up ahead towards him, the dirt pathway in front of him had ended, and only the darkness across the sky , remained to occupy his thoughts.10
"The end."11
***
Chris awoke, in a pool of sweat, his feet hanging of the edge of his bed. The sheets he lay in, now tangled between his legs, in a near attempt to cut of his circulation.12
He sat up, stretching and flexing his tired muscles, advancing towards his sheets. He untangled himself, wondering how many times these dreams had happened before, causing him to wake up, near to death from a heart attack.13
These dreams he was having, this dream he was having, it was to vivid, it was to real, but it was not in anyway lucid. He had no control. there was no control of this dream, and yet it felt so real to him, he was sure that if he tried to control it, he could. Instead he was stuck, in a pattern, in this dreaming cycle, of this dead end, dirt road.14
Chris wondered why h had never made it to the end. Surely there was a greater path that he could walk on, and yet to his despair, this one always seemed to stop. The voices always stopped with no explanation whatsoever. Just the last spoken whisperers being, "The end".15
Having his legs now untangled, he pulled the sheets of the bed, holding his legs high in the air, stretching to get his blood flowing again. He realized that this small habit of keeping his toes, tingling over the edge of his bed, probably didn't help his thoughts inside his dreams, and the dead end, dirt path. 16
Though he could not complain, how could he, he was grateful he even had a bed to sleep in, a safe bed, one not made out of needles, where his dreams would be considered insane, in this place he could call a home.17
Author notes
This is a little short , but it is more of a introduction to my new mc....
Inspiration: Cold play x& y album.. I brought today...
Trying hard to speak and
Fighting with my weak hand
Driven to distraction
It's all part of the plan
When something is broken
and you try to fix it
Trying to repair it anyway you can
I dive in at the deep end
and you become my best friend
I want to love you but I don’t know if I can
I know something is broken
and I’m trying to fix it
Trying to repair it anyway I can
The lryics fit alright with the story I think.. or maybe I just love thm to much....
Blair xoxo
In a list
Honest OPINIONS
Comments
1 - 24 of 24
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This is very intriguing, a new character, and also the story now from his point of view.
And a very strange dream, the thick plottens, as they say
Very intrigued, and I'm going onto the next one to find out what else happns
Mirry
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I hope this means something
This turn into a new character's mind was right on time. I hope it connects with the other characters in this story or I'm going to visit you in your dreams and do something bad!
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I like him. He doesn't just ignore his nightmares like anyone else would do. He's a special one.
Will we be seeing more of him?
The lyrics depict a deeper meaning that do sound like they're part of this story, but they also hint at something else that we probably haven't read yet, but will soon :] If that makes any sense xP -
So....I should be so lucky...
To have as many commentors and readers as you do. Stark way to introduce a new character, but, as others have said, in the same vein as the others, with the dream fantasy and fear and foreboding in all of them.
It does provide a 'hook' of sorts as we know this new character is going to hook up in some way with the previous one, Reidy, is it?
Very youth oriented writing, what with the lyrics and songs, but then again, how does a young writer begin otherwise....so..keep pecking away and since I know you have many more chapters in this tale....off I go...
amicus...
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As you stated this is a short one, I liked this and wonder what his dream is all about.
Sarah.
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This chapter is a refreshing break from the past four in which we gained the insight into Reidy's desperate mind. However, now we are starting to see into the mind of one who has not yet reached this stage.
Again, we are intrigued by the lack of information about Chris. We don't know what age he is, where he is and if he has any connection to Reidy. We are also drawn into the character by the small statement at the end. The theme of insanity runs strongly throughout this novel and yet we get the feeling that Chris has yet to realize this and is slowly descending, like the seven rings of hell.
Once again, I am struck by the poetic skill used in this part to bring across the thoughts and feelings of the Protagonist. Well done.
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Think im gonna be up for another hour or so reading the rest of these chapters xD
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Okay, I GOTTA call you out on something--every chapter of this I've read so far has got these CRAZY chapter/parts to them--part three was listed as 'chapter ten, part three'--this one was chapter two, part something, even though it's later in the story. It's confusing, even though I DO get a chuckle out of it, wondering every time I click on a new chapter where the hell it's going to tell me I'm at THIS time...
But the story: I like the dream sequence, nice and spooky, but not over the top. I'll reserve judgement on the new character until he's at least brushed his teeth and combed his hari--judging people right outta bed often leads to mistakes... *laughs*
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OKAY WELL FOR EVERY FOUR PARTS ---is a different chracter there are two- Reidy and chris... so 1-4 was reidy , now 5-8 is chris..yeah i thinbk i messed up the chapter part with a typo, but the parts are all in order..
Good choice hahahaha
loves the men
Love Blair
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Oh, a new character! I love the introductory to him and it makes him seem like a thoughtful, dreamy man. I am curious to see how he fits into the story. I must say I don't think it could have been written ANY better. The dreaming was suspenseful, and tore me in with intense speed. I loved it! Off to read some more.
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The dream sequence was strong, vivid, and mysterious. We get the feeling that this dream has some strong significance to the plot or characterisation. I felt this was the strong part of the chapter, but then from the waking onwards your narration seemed to become awkward.
"These dreams he was having, this dream he was having, it was to vivid, it was to real, but it was not in anyway lucid. He had no control. there was no control of this dream..."
This paragraph you repeated yourself to often. Not lucid, got it, it isn't necessary to restate it another two times.
Over all I thought this was an interesting way of introducing a new character to the mix. -
I enjoyed it, did you want me to fixx your punctuation?
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I liked the imagery in this. Still a few typos, but I guess you wrote it quickly. Some of the sentences read a bit awkwardly; it was mostly the sentences having to do with his legs tangled up. This does make me curious about what's going on in the story. I may read more later.
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This was really interesting that you're now introducing a new character. I might have introduced him earlier if I were you, but since your stories not complete and I don't quite know where you're going with it, maybe you have your reasons.
I loved the dream scene. The imagery in it was great, I felt like I was really there. I liked the irony of having the same dream about a dead end, but having it over and over, I thought that lent some extra flavor to the story, I can't wait to read the next section. -
Nice sideline story
While I feel for Reidy, bringing this new character in may be another storyline in the plot, perhaps? I liked this and will continue to read more. Later sweets,
DarkOne -
this chapter was good, and fairly stand-alone. It leaves alot to think about...though there are missing letters here and there that made me stop to figure out what they meant....it was good though and i liked it....
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First things first, LOVE the picture
OKay then, that out of the way, this was vividly short and sweet with little tormented introduction to Christopher. Might I take a guess in thinking he is someone at the Clinic?
What a dream he was having, makes it seem as though something bad is coming his way but you never know.
Great work, another good part.
~Lady Madeline. -
Well, you got my attention. Whose this guy? Where's Reidy? What's happening? Are you gonna continue?
I like this charecter; he's interesting. Where do the dreams come from? Are they symbolic or is Christopher a prophet of some kind? -
WOW!!
I was hoping it was gonna be longer! LOL! i love it! cant wait to read more! but i like all of ur stories!!
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You've done it again! I can't even begin to describe what this did to me! And how C was so confused, you really got that feeling into his wording, the frustration is plain. Simply Wonderful
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COOL!
I always find dreams so fascinating! Christpher's dream was really freaky, and I wonder what the meaning was! I loved the beginning, it made me laugh!
"WHAT END," he cried.8
"The road Christopher,"9
Great job! LOL!
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This was really good, as usual, Blair. I really enjoyed the last paragraph. It was really well thought up and I think the entire part of this story was amazingly well written.
Keep up the great work, bud. I look forward to many more of your stories and poems.
*goes to read other parts* -
Good, but this is Part Five you told mr to read?
I haven't read the other parts
This is good. EVen though this part was short at least u had details in here.
How did he get those dreams in the first place?
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Thrilling and Deep
Its really thrilling and you described the feelings so well that i could easily put myself into it and imagined as if i was Christopher himself. Another job well done as usual! I'll be looking forward to your next part!^_^ Keep it up^_^ I love the Story^^!
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