Sin or Salvation

Sin or Salvation1

What would you choose, sin or salvation? Most of your immediate answers would be salvation. Nobody wants to burn in Hell for all of eternity, right? Now, I know some of you are atheists, but this question is assuming you know for a fact there is a God and there is a Devil. I would even be willing to bet that some of the Satanists would want to reconsider their answers if they knew without a doubt what their choices were. Sin or salvation? Well, let me tell you what my answer was, and why. It’ll give you something to think about at least, and then when you’re done you can just throw it away and forget that you ever read it. You can go on with whatever belief you want and my story need never have troubled you.2

I was sitting in a club and the music was blasting. I was feeling pretty good about myself with the looks I had been getting from the ladies all night. A couple had even bought me a drink. As soon as she came into view though, everyone else didn’t matter. She floated toward me, walking with that sexy confidence that some women will do when they walk in heels. Her black leather skirt barely covered her thighs and matched the high healed black leather sandals she was wearing. Her top buttoned up the front and swelled against her full breasts. It was sleeveless and showed most of her stomach where a cute little belly button ring flashed against her skin. Her hair, oh god, her hair. It was luscious and full, like chocolate milk as it is poured from the jug. It was long and she wore it down, framing her stunning face. She had high cheekbones and not an ounce of fat in her cheeks. Her jaw line was sharp and defined, making her cheekbones stand out all the more. She had giant green eyes covered in full lashes, and her creamy smooth skin was the color of almonds.3

Her eyes never left mine as she walked toward me and her movements were like liquid silk. She sat next to me on the stool and crossed one leg over the other, her toes brushing gently against my pant leg. She smiled at me, then leaned forward and whispered something in my ear. For some reason, even over all that blasting music, I could hear her perfectly. She could have been a little person residing inside my eardrum with how clear her words were.4

“Come with me handsome.” Her words floated against my ear like a warm breeze. I felt compelled to follow. I don’t think any man would have turned her down.5

The next thing I knew she had me in my bed and was stripping me down. She paused in her passionate attack of me when she had me naked and ran her smooth hands down my body until she reached my manhood. She leaned down, her hair brushing against my bare skin and feeling like the tickle of feathers. Her velvet lips were so close to my manhood that I could hardly stand it, and I could feel her hot breath against it every time she breathed out. I moaned, wanting her, needing her.6

“I have to tell you something. It’s the rules. I’m a demon, and if you spend the night with me I own your soul.” She stopped here to gently brush her tongue against the sensitive skin of my manhood and I threw my head back. I could barely even listen to what she was saying. “I also have to tell you that Jesus is coming soon and he will take all of those who haven’t sinned or have accepted him into their hearts, or whatever it is he’s doing. All of that is true. However, my argument is this. What good is his salvation when he doesn’t tell you for sure what he offers? You don’t even know for sure that you’ll burn in Hell if you accept sin. Here’s what I have to offer you. Anything you want.”7

She leaned up and brushed her hands through her hair. She shook her head and suddenly she was a blonde. She blinked her eyes and suddenly they were blue. Her breasts swelled and her body became even slimmer. My eyes widened in shock and fear, but that was gone quickly when she leaned down again. She covered me with her mouth, and in that instant I was lost. I could have any woman I wanted with her, or all of the women in the world at once. She also sent sensations through me that were stronger then that of any other woman I had been to bed with. She was amazing.8

I never gave her an answer exactly. The words never left my lips. Instead I allowed myself to be pulled along by the ocean’s waves of ecstasy. Her body fitted against mine perfectly. She changed for me however I wanted without ever giving me a degrading look. Everything seemed to have slowed down and my senses were heightened. When I looked at her writhing body she looked as if she moved in water, her hair floating about her face and her body moving like liquid. She threw her head back and her hair splashed behind her. Beads of sweat dotted her skin like morning dew on a spring day. Everything seemed unreal and more real all at the same time. 9

God won’t take me now. I know that. I’ll burn in Hell for all eternity. But you know what? Even if I could do it again my choice would be the same. I think yours would be to if you looked upon this devil, if you knew what she could bring you or what it felt like to be with her. I only wish I had the chance to sin again.10

Author notes

Someone gave me a song as a prompt and this is what I got from it. Mostly I was trying to be as descriptive as I could be while staying under 1000 words (by Word standards.)

"Warming Up The Winter" (I don't know if this is really steamy or "get your blood pumping" kind of stuff, but it is erotic hehe)

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Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • lexiconsthedevil
    December 5, 2007

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    omgosh i love this!! this is realy good writting and it had a litttle cuckle effect to it! great job!


  • yumesandman
    November 28, 2007

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    I liked it!

    It reminded me very much of this book called "Angel with an Attitude" by Rowen. It's this little grocery-store romance novel about an Angel that falls from heaven, and has to resist a demon assigned to tempt her. If you don't mind cheesey grocery-store romance novels, I would definitely suggest it!

    The actual erotica scene seemed a little rushed, but I notice that trend in a lot of people's writing. Is this perhaps one of your first attempts at erotica? I do that too sometimes with erotica, because part of my mind goes "that's so naughty, you shouldn't be writing that!". However, I liked the story around it. It was very easy to connect with the narrator/main character, which is an excellent excellent thing.

    I noticed the transition between club and bedroom was a little fast. Now I don't know if that was a "I'm impatient and want to get to the good bits!" or a means of emphasizing how lost the guy was around the demon. However, I'd suggest adding something to move the characters from club to bedroom, if only a line describing a hazy taxi ride.

    I liked the beginning paragraph a lot too. Asking the question is a great way to draw in the reader, and get them emotionally invested in the outcome of the story. However, the "read-this-and-forget-it-if-you'd-like" is almost a little cliche now. I would perhaps tone that down a bit.

    But all in all I really liked it and enjoyed reading the story. Great job!


  • Sailor Mars
    November 25, 2007

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    very nice

    i liked the way you kept it short but kept the point of the story in plain veiw. you still managed to use good language and it stilll made sence


  • Jouven
    November 25, 2007
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    Fast pace and Erotic

    Fast paced, the tempo works to your advantage in this story. Your descriptions are exquisite and do well to fit your story.

    I loved the erotica feel of the story without being the graphic common erotica. This devil sounds very sexy. I wish she'd come visit me in the night!

  • Tatfreak
    November 23, 2007

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    Very good write i liked it very much.. Sin or Salvation i think i would have done the same.How can you say no when you have already gone so far?


  • kaylaface
    November 23, 2007
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    wonderful work! Hehe. It was had a sexy feel without being trashy.

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