For a supercomputer like KITT who was very aware of his supercar's delicate circuitry and mechanics, there was nothing worse than being locked out of his garage on a rainy Seattle night, especially when a car thief was hot on his tracks. He was one panicking and therefore vulnerable car versus an indestructible Freightliner stuffed with weapons, not to mention a veteran car thief and his experienced technician accomplice. How the hell was KITT supposed to pull this off?
Author notes
Is it a good start?
A contest entry
- First Lines! by Bitter Irony.
200 points, ended November 30, 2007, 56 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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Sorry it took me so long to respond...thanks for the tips, they really do help : )
~KS -
Try and cut the unnecessary words in this line: part such as "his and his supercar's delicate circuitry and mechanics" are confusing and (I'm 90% sure) gramatically incorrect. Try starting with an immediate punch; give the main action of this opening without all the description and exposition. That can come in the second paragraph.
Thanks for entering the contest, and good luck!
~Bitter Irony
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