Ticket

"Ticket please."1

"Now, Daniel, you better keep an eye out on them-"2

"I will, mom."3

"And Rebecca, don't cause any trouble, ok?"4

"Mom! I know how to behave."5

"So you say." I reached down to tousle my youngest daughter's hair, trying not to cry. "Sarah, help Daniel. Edward may be a little bit of a hassle."6

"Mom!" This came from Edward, and I knew he'd be mad at me for a while. 7

"You know it's true, but we love you anyway-" I teased.8

"Ticket please."9

"Now do you guys all have your tickets?"10

"Yes, mother, and all of our luggage is tagged."11

"Good. And you have the address of your cousin's house? And his number? And enough money for food?"12

"Ticket please!"13

"We got it mom-look, we've gotta go. We'll send a telegram to you when we reach Poland, ok? We'll be fine."14

"Ok. Take care! Be careful! I love you all..."15

I embraced my children for the last time, holding them tightly to me. My eyes studied them, devouring every detail about them and imprinting them into the banks of my heart, trying to fill the void that was quickly growing.16

"We'll see you again mommy, right? Once things are settled again, we'll be together?"17

I saw the tightness in Sarah and Daniel's eyes. They knew. Edward's eyes were flickering between our faces, studying the traces of pain in mine, the false cheer in theirs. He suspected. But sweet Rebecca was innocent. I could spare her for a little longer, before the world crumbled around her.18

"Of course we will, Rebecca." I smiled faintly, knowing it was unlikely. Things were going on in Germany, and this train was probably the last train we'd ever have been able to board, as Jews. I could always try to sneak on later, dressed as a German, but with my characteristic dark hair...it was unlikely. "If things don't work out at home, I will come to you. I love you, Rebecca. Edward, Sarah, Daniel...All of you."19

"Last call! Everyone with a ticket please board the train now, we will be leaving in five minutes!!"20

"Go. Hurry, before you're left behind. Your cousin will take care of you. Be brave!"21

"Bye mama!"22

"Bye!"23

"I love you too mommy!"24

Edward waved. I waved back at him, smiling, my eyes already watery.25

"Take care of yourselves, be safe!"26

They boarded the train and the conductor blew the whistle. They were on their way. They'd be safer in Poland...I hoped. I had sent money and instructions to my cousin to get them as far out of Europe as possible. I was worried, but I had done the best I could. For now, I could only stay here and watch wearily as Germany slowly turned its gaze on my race and Adolf Hitler, an austrian politician, all too quickly rose to power, spouting hateful accusations that blamed me, and every other Jew, for unspeakable crimes. Soon I knew the persecuting would begin, rising above the simple segregation into something wholly new and evil. I shuddered, as I stood on the platform, and to me the chills creeping up my spine seemed like a forewarning of all the evils I could feel were coming.27

I reached into my pocket, fingering my own ticket. I hadn't told the kids about this. I could've gone with them, I wanted dearly to go with them, but someone had to stay behind and keep up the pretense of an obedient Jew. Someone had to wait for my husband to be released from jail for his so called "crimes". I crumpled the ticket and tossed it away, knowing it could once have saved my life. I stood staring at it, my tears blurring my vision.28

"Ticket please, Ma'am?"29

"I'm sorry, I'm not going anywhere."30

"Then I must ask you to leave."31

"That's fine." I picked up my things, turning away, saying goodbye. I tried my best to bring up the faces of my children in my mind, knowing full well I'd never see them again...32

"Goodbye." 33

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