Never

It was six, and I heard a knock at the door. It had to be Andy. My nerves bundled and sent shivers through my back. Of course, that happened every time I say him. I threw on my coat and headed toward the door. There he was, standing in front of me, the leaves falling behind him, the sunset framing him in such perfect light. “Hey Kahlen, you look great.” 1

“Thanks. You ready for our walk?” 2

“Yeah, let’s go.”3

We walked through the yard and towards the small path that lead from my backyard into the little tree grove. The grove was brilliant with colors. The trees always turned such beautiful colors in the in fall here in Washington. 4

5

6

7

He was quiet. His silence confused me. He spirit was so vibrant: he could light up any room. But tonight, he was quiet. All I heard was the crunch of the leaves beneath our feet and the rustle of the wind through the oaks. The sun began to fall behind the tops of the trees as we wandered farther into the grove. The air turned cold and my light jacket didn’t seem as warm as I had thought. I grabbed his hand for comfort, but for the first time in the six months we had dated, he recoiled. With hands shoved into pockets he continued to walk drearily in his silence.8

“Andy is something wrong.”9

“Not here. I want us to get there first.”10

By there he meant our spot. Where we first met. Half way between the park and my house, tucked back on this trail, the path turned west to the lake and from the picnic area you could view the most amazing sunset. Tonight was no exception. Rays of blue, red, orange and pink fanned out every which way. With the clouds, it looked more like heaven than anything else I had ever seen. As it came into view, his pace quickened and in an almost rush he seated him self on the bench. 11

“Andy, come on, talk to me.”12

He didn’t look up. Though I couldn’t see, his gaze surely bore a hole in the ground.13

“Andy what’s wrong? You are starting to scare me! Are you trying to break up with me or something? Is that what you are trying to say?”14

“Kahlen, I….”15

“No I understand.” I could feel tears forming behind my eyes. “No wait, I don’t understand. Why do you want to breakup,” I said almost in a yell.16

He looked at me for the first time. 17

“Kahlen, you don’t get it…”18

“No I do! It’s another girl isn’t it? You found some skinny hot bimbo that you’d rather be with than me…” I held back a sob and turned from him. The chill of the air was beginning to seep beneath the collar of my jacket.19

I heard him stand behind me, and suddenly the warmth returned to my body. His strong, muscular arms clenched my body to his in an almost death grip. 20

“Don’t you dare. Don’t you ever tell yourself that. There is no one else in this entire world I would rather be with than you. You are the only reason I haven’t left yet!”21

He stopped there, almost as if he said something that he shouldn’t have.22

“What do you mean left? Are you going somewhere?” Panic.23

“It’s my grandma. And my dad. She’s sick and…”24

“So are you going to go stay with her till she gets better,’ I said grasping for news that wasn’t what I knew was really happening.25

“The doctors said she can’t live alone anymore. My dad was offered a job there a few months ago, and now he said its time to go back.” He sat back down on the bench, his gaze returning to the ground and the small hole he dug with the front of his shoe.26

“New York? You’re leaving for New York? Today?” The sobbing started then. I sat down next to him. His arm held me at the waist. No heat radiated from his body to mine. We both said there, cold, dying. 27

“He heard about grandma last night, and he has already made all the plans. You know my dad.”28

“But I love you Andy! You can’t leave! We were supposed to finish our senior year and go to UW together!”29

“I love you to, Kahlen. If there was anything I could do to make him stay, I would. I yelled at him last night till my voice was gone, but he doesn’t believe that we are in love at 17. And if he did, I doubt he would care. We are leaving tonight for the hospital and he’s having the rest of our stuff sent later.”30

I squeezed him tighter. 31

“I love you Kahlen, never forget that. I’ll come back to you somehow. Don’t give up on me.”32

“I love you to Andy. I’ll wait on you until you come back. I’ll never love anyone else. Never.”33

“I have to go. My day said car is pulling out at seven thirty.” 34

He stood up and began to walk towards the trail. He turned towards me. I saw a single tear slide down his hardened face. 35

“Never,” he said. 36

Behind the tall oaks, I lost sight of him for the last time. As he walked away, the sun dropped behind the lake and the light left. I sat there, on the red bench that we had called our own for so many years. I began to shiver. Under the rising moonlight, I saw a leaf fall. Then another. Then the snow. The white flakes fell onto my hands and head. My shivering became worse. The snow melted on my cheeks and mixed with my tears turning them bitterly cold. Never again would he protect me from the chill of the Washington winter. Never. 37

38

Author notes

Hey! I'm still Lady-Jane

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 9 of 9

  • This Will Hurt
    January 14, 2008

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    Wow. I really loved your description in this peice, and it was a tear-jerker. There were only a few small errors here and there, but I don't mind mistakes like that so much when the story is good and well-developed. Thank you for entering this contest, and good luck!


  • IxLovexElphiex
    December 23, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Ooh!

    I loved it! Your descriptions of the trees and snow and sunset were great! Kahlen...pretty pretty name!
    Only things, there are some punctuation errors, like not using question marks when needed.
    Other than that, it was really great! Thanks so much for entering my contest! Good Luck!


  • potaytee
    December 20, 2007
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    I liked that. It just nice and short. Thanks for entering my contest.


  • Seria
    December 11, 2007
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    Nice story! So emotional. Good luck in the contest!


  • beezy92
    December 10, 2007

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    Great story. Sad, though. But I like that. (= Pretty imagery in parts. I liked it better when the dialog was more simple and minimal. When it got to the part where she gets upset some parts seemed cliche, and some seemed unrealistic. Like the whole "hot dumb bimbo" thing. She had just said she didn't understand, and then she said "No I do get it!" People do say irrational things when they're upset though. Still, I think you could go back and try to make the emotion more true. Or maybe it's just me, it could be. (=

    The ending was great though, I felt every emotion, the imagery was pretty and relevant and fitting and I felt really sad for her. Why can't they write?!?! Aww. (= I felt like you did a good job portraying their feelings for each other and you made me sad. (= So good job lol.

    A few errors though:

    "Of course, that happened every time I say him." "say" should be "saw"

    "the sunset framing him in such perfect light." I personally think that would sound better if it were "framing him in perfect light."

    “Hey Kahlen, you look great.” There should be a comma between "Hey" and "Kahlen" (I like her name by the way, is it supposed to sound like Colin? I liked that. =)

    "He spirit was so vibrant: he could light up any room." The first "he" should be "his" and the colon should be a semicolon. Or just a simple comma, really.

    "With hands shoved into pockets he continued to walk drearily in his silence." There should be a comma between "pockets" and "he."

    “Andy is something wrong.” should be "Andy, is something wrong?"

    That's about it. There were some others but they were minor and I'm sure you can find them on your own if you re-read it. I have to do that a lot, I'm constantly finding errors in my work. (=

    Anyway good job! I enjoyed reading this. Thanks for entering the contest, and good luck (I'm putting this in the finalist list, by the way =)


    • Lady-Jane
      December 31, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Kahlen is actually pronounced like Kaitlen, but no t. I heard it on an episode of Antm.. my favorite name.. thank you for the comments


  • Toxic Paradox
    November 23, 2007

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    I like the general theme, but it's a little bit short don't you think?

    Could be expanded - fantastic potential here.

    -T.P. xxx


  • damnxrightxitsxanna
    November 21, 2007

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    Wow, that almost made me cry. I loved the last sentence. But well, the thing that stopped my tears was that they can still get back together, so it's not really that bad. And maybe you could write something more about their past and stuff, but overall good job and good luck with the contest


  • Infectious Insanity
    November 20, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    awww... the ending was sad..... it had a kind of ring to it that was so perfect it scared me!
    Good work and thanks for entering!
    good luck

    *sheep*

1 - 9 of 9