Every living creature worship him,hate him,envy him,love him,loath him.An exquisite creature,whose graceful gesture,and elegent manners,beutified with a perfect,boyish face.
A contest entry
- First Lines! by Bitter Irony.
200 points, ended November 30, 2007, 56 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Interesting description, but having two descriptive fragments as introductary lines may not be the best idea: I had to read them twice to get the full sense of them.
"Every living creature" is grammatically single, so "worship" should be "worships," "hate" should be "hates," etc.
I'd be interested in reading the entirity of this story just to see how such a character would interact with others. Very interesting.
Thanks for entering the contest, and good luck!
~Bitter Irony -
Wow, this was great, whose it talking about? If it were left up to me, I would say god. (sorry if your unreligious or have a different religion from me, I mean no harm)
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Ahaha! it's ok if you wanna say god or any religious pharases. I actually dunno yet. Havent figure it out yet. I just had this sentences in my mind,and I just typed it down.
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this is very good,i can get a real feel for the char in this short passage keep it goin!
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really? thank you!!
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