Spearful Dignity

Spearful Dignity1

Some mythology stories tell of reason things were created or made, but others tell of great heroes. Many heroes influenced mythology making it funner and more exciting to read. One of the few heroes that were heard of was Atreis, a Goddess born from Athena and a mortal. 2

Atreis was Goddess of white and black magic, she was intelligent, thin, pale, beautiful, and never once dressed out of black clothing. Her eyes were said to change from black to green and the wisdom she inherited form Athena was phenomenal. 3

On a night with the wind howling and rain beating down upon her she came across a black unicorn, known to be named as ashes. The unicorn was hurt, bleeding crimson blood and it's breathing was in low heaves. Close to death Atries bent down to look at the creature and while she was healing the unicorn with her magic she noticed it was wounded by one of Artemis's arrows, Goddess of hunt and wild things. 4

Puzzles by the fact that Artemis would even attempt the harm such an animal, she refocused her attention back to Ashes. While Atreis put her hand over Ashes head and she began to talk to her, asking the unicorn what happened. In reply the creature said "First off my names Ashes and second, I want doing anything to infuriate Artemis she simply attacked me and left me to rot in this forest although there may be one reason why shes attacking us..." 5

"Hold up, wait there miss princess, who's us?" Atreis asked quizzically, becoming more angry by the moment. 6

"Well...not to gloat or anything but exotic creatures: unicorns, werwolf's, and cantors, but you see Artemis' most prized position was taken by Rust, a wizard who stole her spear to gain more strength and power. Therefore making Artemis angry and killing off the wizards creations and deep love...us." 7

Atreis was shocked by what she heard, it took her awhile to respond because of how taken aback she was. For a few moments she just sat there but after awhile it was like the light turned on and she bolted right up.8

"What id, you and me work as a team to help retrieve what was taken from Artemis and then this way she'll stop killing off all of the exotic creatures?"9

"Well I do know were Rust lives, and if it's going to protect us I suppose I don't really have a choice. So yea, I would love to come help you save me and my fellow brothers and sisters." Ashes shook her black coat in approval and then they were off. 10

Becoming very close to each other, the two became inseparable. Many different things became clear about them such as Atreis's most feared thing was love and she was just waiting to be caught by Aphrodite. Ashes as well showed courage, intelligence, she became very intellectual, and also allowing herself to get close to a Goddess and love her as a friend. 11

The journey involved going through mountains, around volcanoes, in sleet, rain, snow, and fighting off giants and vicious animals. But the time they found Rusta's lair they were already a month into the journey. 12

They walked in the castle slowly at First, impressed but the surroundings, but once the shock parted with them they were determined to find the spear. Atreis led the way trying to find all the weaponry and then out of no where she was grabbed by a man with a knife to her neck. 13

"Who are you and why are you amongst Rust's lair?" The guard asked. 14

"Unhand me! You better or else I will blow your brains out in a very slow and painful way...I'm Atreis Goddess of white and black magic." 15

The guard threw her down and attacked her, but before he could attempt to kill her with his knife, Ashes bucked him in the head, which made him fall to the ground and instantly die.16

"Hurry we have to be quick so we don't disrupt anybody else, if this guard was a ruthless as the others then we'll have trouble later," Atreis whispered to Ashes. They quickly turned a corner and ran but when they new they were going the right way five more guards showed up, and in the back of them was the spear in a cage. Atreis and Ashes slowed down aware that if they did anything utterly idiotic then it would be very difficult to get out of the situation. 17

Using their heads Atreis and Ashes both split down the middle and attacked the nearest guard. Atreis got caught on the arm but at the same time was able to snatch away the knife and stab the guard with it, she was able to take out all the of the guards who were trying to harm her. Ashes was able to kill both of the guards, she bucked the First guy and end up head butting the other in the chest making him fly into the cage. 18

After they were finished killing the guards they examined the cage to the spear. Atreis slowly pushed on the gate cautiously and as it open she got frightened. Atreis knew that if the cage was open the whole time then there must be something else guarding it but luckily her intelligence was able to pick up on the fact that when Ashes head butted that guy into the cage, the lock broke and made it easier for them. Quickly she grabbed the spear, not waiting to see if Rust was going to come for her any time soon and her and Ashes fled the place safely.19

After the journey back home the decided on summoning Artemis. Artemis came down from the sky and asked "What is the reason you summon me? I never have a person summon and pray for me and their help but you are the First." She looked at them like they were unworthy but as soon as she saw her spear and smile spread across her face. "Why didn't you tell me you retrieved my spear? It would have saved me a great deal of talking." 20

After seeing what you were doing to the unicorns me and Ashes teamed up, we knew that if you had your spear back that you wouldn't harm any more exotic creatures, am I right?" Atreis acted calm and serious but talked about the deed she did with pride. 21

"You are very correct, and I am very pleased Atreis that you went out of your way to get this for me. I have only one question for you and that is, did you kill Rust? He is one of my few nemesis' and I would like to know if he is alive or dead."22

"No we took out about seven of his guards and then got the cage open with the spear and ran." Atreis felt a little ashamed but was surprised by what Artemis said next. 23

"Thank you, I will punish him deeply and reward you with all the God and Goddess's knowing your courage and the task you beheld." Artemis bowed, and then took off with the spear in her hand.24

"Well Ashes..." Atreis said looking into the sky, "At least we saved you and all of the creatures that were in danger." 25

"Yes, and we did a good job at it as well, it seems to me that the Gods will be very pleased with us." Ashes nodded her head accordingly at Atreis. 26

They both turned around and walked away together and in the heavens were Zeus, Hera, and Athena were all watching them with smiles on their face. 27

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Comments

  • Hawkeyes
    October 8, 2004
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    pretty good

    The story started out good and in the middle of it was getting very intrigued and I love mythology and toward the end it was beginning to write a little to long. I do love the fantasy in this story. I think I would rank this pretty good.


  • October 7, 2004
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    Hey Gonzo, this is really cool! i think that you picked a really interesting topic to write about. It remended me of taht one book....the wanderer. Yup good book. but i liked this, but i dont think that many godesses said "hold up" lol but other then some weird lanuage, this was interesting and it kept my attention, very very nice i enjoyed it alot!

  • Miss Faerie
    October 7, 2004
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    The basis of this piece is extrememly interesting. I havent seen many pieces that are based on Ancient Greek mythology. By the same token, there are things about the piece that make it harder to read. Confusing. I can't put my finger on it, but the piece doesn't sit right. I think a lot of it has to do with the language you have used in the piece. Apart from some grammatical errors, you have used language common of the present, and if you have read anything from Ancient Greece then you would know that the writing, of authors such as Pliny and Plutarch, the language is extremely different and it isn't written the way in which you have written this piece. For example "took out the guards." This isn't the way that the Gods, or their children would talk, even in cartoons such as Hercules...
    There are also some places where you are missing words, and that makes it a little more difficult to understand.
    Overall i think that the basis makes this an interesting piece and that you could work it into a brilliant write.

    good work