Haven't You?

-----0-o-0-o-0-----1

Haven't You?2

Part One of Two3

by: bs4

-----0-o-0-o-0-----5

You tell me that you loved me.6

You tell me I'm the only one who stays on your mind.7

You tell me that only I can make you smile.8

You tell me that I am the one.9

But then... those words that I hear are nothing compared to what I see you do...10

Holding another in your arms...11

Whispering into her ears...12

Telling her those sweet, sweet lies you had told me...13

Can you see me?14

Can you hear me?15

I don't want to see you, but I long to hear your voice.16

The voice that lied.17

The voice that betrayed.18

Your mind and voice are different things.19

Your heart is a mystery to me.20

Although you say you love me.21

Although you promised me the moon.22

You never once went back on your word,23

But there was no honor in that.24

To lie.25

To deceive.26

All for what?27

So you could be told you never broke a promise?28

You may keep your special promises.29

You may keep your sweet sweet words.30

All I ever wanted.31

Was for you to be with me.32

And no lies, deceit, or treachery.33

-----0-o-0-o-0-----34

"Inuyasha!" Kagome cried out, exasperated with the whole affair. "Don't tell me you have never thought of it. Don't tell me you never thought once 'What would have happened?' if Naraku had never jumped in between you and Kikyou!"35

"I never did." Inuyasha replied stiffly. He snapped his arm away from her clutching hands and started storming off.36

You tell me that you loved me.37

You tell me I'm the only one who stays on your mind.38

"Sit!" When the telltale thud indicated that the hanyou was imprinted on the dirt, Kagome caught up to where he laid. She then began to berate at him. "Are you kidding me Inuyasha? You have never thought of it? Haven't you? You're lying!" Kagome stamped her feet in frustration. "I am serious Inuyasha! I can't take this anymore! I'm sorry, but I can't take it anymore! I can't be your little backup girfriend everytime Kikyou comes around! Just - gods..." Kagome's voice kept breaking and Inuyasha heard her run away, most likely towards the well.39

Your mind and voice are different things. 40

Your heart is a mystery to me.41

He laid there for a very long time, not very eager to get up... What was the rush? He had to get back to the village and everyone would be asking what had happened.42

Those bastards. They all knew what had happened. They all knew that Kikyou had been by. They had all seen her Shinidamachu fly by. (1.) And yet they were still going to ask. Bastards.43

Inuyasha slowly pushed himself off the ground and began shuffling his way towards the tree. That tree. The tree that he had been on the first few days he had met Kagome. The one where she had pelted him with a turnip. He easily leapt up there and made himself comfortable, letting one leg swing in the air.44

You may keep your special promises.45

You may keep your sweet sweet words.46

His mind slowly went over the many meetings he had had with Kikyou and the ones where he had been with her before Naraku. After mulling for a few hours, he went back to the village.47

----------0-o-0-o-0----------48

Kagome sunk herself lower into the tub, blowing bubbles into the water. How was she going to get the courage to bring herself back into Sengoku Jidai now? Kagome sighed, and accidentally taking in a little water when she breathed, sat up quickly and coughed for a moment. She covered her mouth with her hand, feeling a smarting sensation in her throat... maybe she had coughed too hard...49

"Kagome?" Kagome swiveled her head to the door, to where Inuyasha stood with his eyes boggling out.50

There was a few moments of silence, in which both reddened their faces considerably and much blinking was done. Then...51

"SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!!!!!!!!!!"52

Downstairs, Kagome's mom looked up at the ceiling, which now had a few cracks spreading around... ah well. Teenagers and their hormones.53

Back upstairs, Kagome had left the bathtub and gotten in the safety of her bathrobe, while Inuyasha struggled against the spell that bound him the the ground.54

Kagome calmed herself down and prevented her from 'sitting' him a few more times, reminding herself that the floor on her second floor house was not as stable or firm as the dirt outside. Inuyasha slowly sat up on the floor, glaring while rubbing his forehead. It had hit the toe-eel-it on his way down.55

Kagome sighed and went into her room. Inuyasha quickly got up and stormed after her. "Hey! Woman!" he hissed as he shoved his head into her room, just to make sure he could exit quickly if she was still... uncovered. But to his vast disappointment, although he would never let anyone else know, she was in a white robe; her hair still wet and her eyes narrowed at him.56

Can you see me?57

Can you hear me?58

As Kagome sat down and began to brush her hair, Inuyasha gingerly stepped into the room, and without any comments from Kagome, he quickly entered and closed the door. "So... what are you doing here?" Kagome asked as she turned to look at him. He was sitting on the ground, Indian style and had his arms crossed. He looked at her defiantly and opened his mouth.59

To lie.60

To deceive.61

All for what?62

"What the hell do you mean 'What are you doing here'?!" He did a rather bad imitation of her talking, making his voice sound nasal and high.63

"That does not sound like me!" She snipped at him indignantly. Inuyasha shrugged.64

"Close enough. Your stupid shrill voice has made me go deaf already so it doesn't matter that much does it??" Kagome's face flushed a deep red.65

"You! You!" She spluttered, pointing a finger accusingly at the hanyou who looked at it with disinterest.66

"Yep. It's meeeeeeeeeeee!" Inuyasha drawled, he laid down on the floor and looked up at Kagome. "So you want to tell me what that was about?" His voice softened and he rolled over so that he was laying on his stomach.67

You never once went back on your word,68

But there was no honor in that.69

"...I have nothing to say to you right now. Go away!" Kagome snapped at him, her face flushing once again, and for completely different reasons. Inuyasha seemed to get angry at this comment and shoved himself up from the ground and stomped over to Kagome and sat next to her, on the bed, violently, causing her to lose her balance momentarily.70

Although you say you love me.71

Although you promised me the moon.72

"What do you want from me Inuyasha?" Kagome sighed, her words heavy with hurt. She sounded tired... oh so very tired of the whole situation.73

It was Inuyasha's turn for blood to run to his face, and he stumbled through words to talk. "I, uh, the thing is that, um, I don't know how to, uh, put this. Kagome, why, er, did you say those things?"74

Kagome widened her eyes in astonishment at his stupidity.75

I don't want to see you, but I long to hear your voice.76

The voice that lied.77

The voice that betrayed.78

"Is that all you wanted to say?" Kagome bowed her head to shadow her eyes with her bangs. Her voice was gravelly and stripped of emotion.79

"W-what?" Inuyasha stumbled, worried that he might of set off waterworks...80

"Have you said all that you came to say?" Kagome's voice was eerie, and he was, although reluctant to admit, pretty unnerved by her at the moment.81

"Well, uh, yeah." Inuyasha's mind had only prepared him so much. The imaginary scene that had played in his mind as he traveled through the well had been nothing at all like what was occurring.82

-----0-o-0-o-0-----83

"Kagome! Why the hell were you so womanly and sappy and emotion like today?!?!"84

"Inuyasha! It was because I am so jealous that I have to share you with Kikyou and I know I am below you and can never reach the limit to where I can compare to you! Your rock hard abs give me thrills! Your silky hair is to die for! Your - "85

-----0-o-0-o-0-----86

Okay, okay. Yeah. So it wasn't at all like he thought it was going to turn out. It was just a pep for him... and besides, who ever said reality couldn't surprise you?87

"Get out."88

"What??" Inuyasha growled. She was not ordering him around like a puppy dog was she?!89

"Your hearing is fine Inuyasha. However, I am not so sure about your mind." Kagome lifted her head, and although her eyes were bright with unshed tears, there was a steely look in them and a very determined expression written all over her. "So get out."90

"No." Inuyasha stood his ground. A very tricky situation for him. And it got even trickier.91

"Sii - " In a flash, Inuyasha leapt and clamped his hand over her mouth. Kagome protested and reached up to yank it away, but Inuyasha gently shoved her and laid her onto the bed. He made sure that he had completely pinned her to the bed, before letting go of her mouth.92

"If you say IT I'll smush you." Inuyasha grinned. Okay, it wasn't the best threat it the world, but it had its effect. Kagome glared at Inuyasha, and wriggled her arms and legs, hoping Inuyasha would loosen them to no avail.93

"What do you want?" Kagome whispered. Her voice was so quiet, Inuyasha's ears flicked forward unconsciously to hear. Inuyasha tried his damned hardest to swipe that egotistically grin from his face, and only halfway succeeded.94

But he needed no further prompting when he saw the wounded look on Kagome's face. He had seen that face many times before... in the rivers, in the mee roars from Kagome's time... his face full of crushed hopes and disappointment.95

He hated looking at his reflection and seeing it. But seeing it on Kagome's face... his Kagome's face... it made something in his chest pull at his heartstrings.96

"Well, Inuyasha?" Kagome's voice was still down to a soft whisper.97

You tell me I'm the only one who stays on your mind.98

You tell me that only I can make you smile.99

"Kagome..." Inuyasha growled gently. "I never meant to hurt you. Never." To his surprise, Kagome smiled. It was a small smile, and full of heartbreak, but it was a smile nonetheless.100

Your mind and voice are different things.101

Your heart is a mystery to me.102

"I know Inuyasha. I've always known that. You would never hurt me..." Inuyasha hadn't even known he had held his breath until he left out a soft exhale of relief, "...intentionally." Inuyasha's eyes closed and he sighed.103

You tell me that you loved me.104

You tell me that I am the one.105

So he had failed. Yet again. Yet again, he had failed to protect the one he held closest to his heart. "I'm sorry Kagome..." Inuyasha choked down the overwhelming feeling of anger at himself and heartache for Kagome. What have I done...? I have nothing to offer her. I had nothing for her. The only thing I can offer her is - 106

"Inuyasha. You know that I won't be able to be with you after we collect all the Shikon shards right?"107

"What??" How could she? After that promise by the well? How could she just break it like that? How could she just break it? And how could, with just a few words, crumble his heart up?108

Holding another in your arms...109

Telling her those sweet, sweet lies...110

"I cannot stay with you if you refuse to make a choice Inuyasha. For now, I am barely able to carry on like everything is fine and peachy and - "111

"...peachy?"112

" - I do not know if I can handle that burden anymore Inuyasha." Kagome looked at him straight in the eye for the first time since he had come to her time to talk things over.113

"Kagome..."114

All I ever wanted.115

Was for you to be with me.116

"Gods Kagome. I'm so sorry." Inuyasha started suddenly, and he leaned down and pressed his face against her neck, below her ear. Kagome's face flushed, suddenly realizing just how close Inuyasha was to her, and just how he was positioned.117

"I-inuyasha..." she squeaked.118

"Let me finish... I'm sorry." Inuyasha's voice was muffled, and Kagome felt something wet against her neck - he couldn't be crying could he??119

Wait - no. That was his mouth. Oh wait - ewww... he's drooling all over me!! (2.)120

And that was Kagome's thought before she suddenly realized what he was saying. He was apologizing... \apologizing...121

Your mind and voice are different things.122

Your heart is a mystery to me.123

Inuyasha continued to talk to Kagome with his muffled voice, but Kagome barely paid attention to it. It felt so nice, hearing the sincerity of his words, the kindness and caring behind them. The words themselves did not matter... after all, he considered 'bitch' an endearment term.124

Can you see me?125

Can you hear me?126

Inuyasha suddenly had it all figured out in his head. After all those times Miroku, Sango, Shippou, and Kaede had nagged/bickered/beat up/tormented him about hurting Kagome, it was now, now that Kagome herself had said those words, he finally understood.127

I long to hear your voice.128

And no lies, deceit, or treachery.129

-----0-o-0-o-0-----130

(1.) Those are what Kikyou's 'Soul Stealers' are really supposed to be called.131

(2.) He was talking against her neck. It's not like he was licking her you sickos.132

-----0-o-0-o-0-----133

-----0-o-0-o-0-----134

For Kagome...135

I want to know.136

I want to know.137

I want to hear it.138

I want you to say it.139

I want to be known.140

I want to be heard.141

I want you to know it.142

I want you to hear it.143

...i love you...144

-----0-o-0-o-0-----145

Haven't You?146

Part Two of Two147

by: bs148

-----0-o-0-o-0-----149

For Inuyasha...150

Up in the sky there are a few clouds,151

Down on the ground there is a small breeze.152

As the breeze flows through my hair,153

Will I not just think of her?154

The moon is falling into the sea,155

And the sea is mourning.156

This scene is too morose,157

Will I not just think of her?158

On the river flowers fall,159

And are swept away in the rushing wind.160

The dove is saying 'No hope, no hope'161

Will I not just think of her?162

The tree is bending in the cold wind,163

The sky is lit upon with fire.164

The sky is starting to become dead,165

Will I not just think of her?166

-----0-o-0-o-0-----167

Kagome lay there, staring at the ceiling. How long had she been sleeping? It must have been awhile, since it was quite dark outside. Inuyasha nuzzled closer to her as she shifted her head.168

She smiled slightly.169

The sky is starting to become dead...170

Inuyasha was sleeping right next to her on the bed, and although their position was as innocent as it could get, Kagome was still blushing. She loved the feel of the hanyou on her side. He was still fast asleep by the looks of it, and she was in no rush whatsoever to wake him. She wondered if he was dreaming about anything.171

The sky is starting to become dead,172

The sky is lit upon with fire.173

Was he dreaming about her? Was he dreaming about Kikyou? He had not yet answered her question. "Haven't you...?" Kagome whispered quietly, thinking of what his answer may be.174

Will I not just think of her?175

"Haven't I what?" Kagome opened her mouth in a silent gasp and twisted her head to look at him. "Can't sleep?"176

"No. Not really."177

Inuyasha looked at her with a troubled expression. "What's wrong?"178

I want to know.179

I want to hear it.\180

"Oh... do you know how this all came to be?" Kagome asked, a smile playing on her words.181

"...we didn't do anything! I swear!"182

Kagome chuckled and sat up, stretching her arms. Inuyasha did likewise, but kept his eyes on her. "I know. I was asking you if you remembered what I had said to you to provoke all of this."183

"...oh. That." Inuyasha's tone became somewhat pained.184

On the river flowers fall,185

And are swept away in the rushing wind.186

"It's just that you never told me." Kagome shrugged nonchalantly, but in her mind she was flipping out.187

*I want to know.188

I want to know.189

"Kagome," Inuyasha began, "You asked if I ever thought about what would have happened if Naraku had not interfered. You asked 'haven't you?'. Do you want to know what my answer is?"190

Kagome bit her lip and nodded.191

As the breeze flows through my hair,192

Will I not just think of her?193

"My answer is no." Kagome stared at him. "No, don't look at me like that! I'm telling the truth, I swear it! I swear it on Sesshoumaru's grave!"194

"But - "195

"Soon enough. Kagome, Naraku has nothing to do with what the future Kikyou and I would have had. Sure, I thought about what would have happened if she had not died and I had not been shot. But what you ask is if I regret what happened. And the answer is no.196

This scene is too morose,197

Will I not just think of her?198

"I will never wonder again about how life with Kikyou would have been. Most likely, we would have followed through and I would be human, and Kikyou an ordinary girl. We would have lived an ordinary life, and died an ordinary death. That was what we had hoped for. But it didn't happen.199

The dove is saying 'No hope, no hope'200

Will I not just think of her?201

"I met you. Meeting you, seeing your clumsiness - "202

"Hey!"203

" - and everything that is so UNordinary about you has showed me that a life with Kikyou would have been nothing. In truth, I am partially grateful to have met you Kagome. I am. Truly.204

I want to hear it.205

I want you to say it.206

"Right at the start, I wondered what would have happened. But I never once thought about going back to her. At least, not alive. Kagome. Would you rather live a life of just being here, with that stupid dull boy and your life as a shrine keeper, or would you have rather met us, met me, and everyone else?"207

Kagome looked at him. "Of course. I would have rather met you."208

"...there is no need for any other explanations is there?"209

Kagome smiled and shook her head. Inuyasha exhaled. "Thank god! I already used up all my smart for the day!"210

Kagome burst out laughing.211

The moon is falling into the sea,212

And the sea is mourning.213

This scene is too morose,214

Will I not just think of her?215

As they prepared their materials and said their goodbyes, Kagome and Inuyasha headed towards the well.216

"Um, Inuyasha?"217

"What?"218

I want you to know it.219

I want you to hear it.220

Inuyasha turned and looked at the girl. "What is it?"221

Kagome shook her head, a faint blush spreading across her cheeks. "Nothing."222

"Keh. Stupid girl. Let's go." Kagome pouted but let it go as he grabbed her arm and they leapt into the well.223

\I want you to know it.224

I want you to hear it.225

...i love you...\226

-----0-o-0-o-0-----*227