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It's blue, he thought, as he looked at the curious object in his hand. He didn't notice his the beautiful blonde-beauty come up behind him, as he frowned, deep in thought.2
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Author notes
I have NO idea. I guess, I just want you to wonder, what's blue, who is the girl, and what does it all mean. I don't even no know what the story behind it is.
It's the only thing I could come up with. But I love the contest!
erica♥♥♥!!!
A contest entry
- First Lines! by Bitter Irony.
200 points, ended November 30, 2007, 56 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
♥i don't have a clue♥
Comments
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The "it's blue" bit is very creative; however, avoid describing obviously mysterious objects as "curious," etc; objective description is always better. Also, I think the word "his" is misplaced in the second sentence. "beautiful blonde-beauty" is repetative.
Otherwise, you have a nice sense of mystery developed in this opening.
Thanks for entering the contest, and good luck!
~Bitter Irony
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