First Lines - Contest entry.

I’m sitting in a corner, waiting for the water to boil. I can hear the moans and bangs of people having sex in numerous rooms. That’s what you get for living in a whorehouse, I guess. Never one moment of sleep, because you’re either being fucked or listening to others having the same done to them.

Author notes

From my uncompleted story 'Hot Chocolate'

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 5 of 5

  • Kevan gold member
    December 11, 2007
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    I love hot chocolate (:
    I miss it though ):
    Please do more someday.
    -Kevan


    • Springs gold member
      December 11, 2007
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      Pshhh.
      I don't like it.
      Bad sex scene.
      However I like the name Tercy, so I might have to continue just because of wanting to use it o.@


      • Kevan gold member
        December 11, 2007
        Edit | Reply
        Hahaha, that name's cool.
        You should, just because of that.


        • Springs gold member
          December 11, 2007
          Edit | Reply
          It means prostitute =x Don't name your kid it.


  • Bitter Irony
    November 21, 2007
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    Very attention-grabbing. You make the reader feel for this main character immediately.

    The word "numerous" feels out of place in this voice. See if you can find a word with better "attitude."

    Thanks for entering the contest, and good luck!

    ~Bitter Irony

1 - 5 of 5