Prologue1
The mid August breeze was welcomed by the concertgoers, as they yelled and banged on the backs of their folding chairs for an encore. When the band stepped back on the stage, the crowd erupted in a collective cheer, and Alison slipped her hand into the back pocket of Blake’s jeans. 2
“Enjoying yourself?” Blake whispered into Alison’s ear as the band struck up again, playing one last slow song. He pulled her hand out of his pocket and placed it on the small of his back, grabbing the other one in his hand, and there, on the edge of the crowd, they danced, swaying in the last fragments of moonlight the sky had before it was covered up by clouds. 3
The man standing by the microphone holding the guitar played a final note as the sky opened up and cried. Even with her hair matted down by the falling rain, Blake thought Alison was beautiful. He leaned down and kissed her on the lips, and even after everyone else had drove off, they were still standing by the stage in the pouring rain.4
Chapter One- August 5
The next morning when Alison woke up, she realized three things: one, Blake was beside her, two, she wasn’t at her own house, and three, she had nothing on. 6
This isn’t good, was the first thought that crossed her mind. She sat up suddenly and realized she was cold, even though it was the middle of August. Alison grabbed her jeans and shoved her legs through the holes after pulling her underwear and bra on, then yanked on her sweatshirt without even putting her shirt on first. Blake rolled over and reached out to touch her, but when he realized she wasn’t there, he groaned and opened his eyes.7
“Where you going?” he said sleepily.8
“It doesn’t matter where I’m going; the problem is that I’m here!” Alison whisper-yelled. She gathered her mid-back length amber waves and wound a ponytail holder around them. She picked up her purse and glared at Blake. Her voice wasn’t getting any softer, and her eyes were swarming with tears. “Why am I here, Blake?”9
He sat up in his bed, scratching his forehead, his white-blonde hair sticking up at odd angles. Alison noticed he had no clothing on either- and even though his abs were perfectly sculpted, there still remained the fact that somehow she had wound up spending the night at his house. 10
“Look, Al, after the concert last night you were pretty drunk, and you fell asleep in the car, so I brought you to my house and we fell asleep. Not a real big deal,” he added.11
“That’s what you think,” Alison said before sprinting out of his house. She didn’t have a car so she ran all the way home, too.12
An hour later Alison was home, shoes wet from last night’s rain on the ground, face wet from her tears. He had taken advantage of her. Who knows what he had done to her last night. She was only seventeen.13
When she neared her driveway, she saw with surprise that her mother’s car was in the driveway. The sleek, shiny sports car was the exact opposite of the old, rusty pick up truck that Alison drove. She wiped her eyes on her sleeve, leaving black mascara streaks on her sweatshirt, but she didn’t care. Alison shuffled up the three steps that lead to her front door, and after digging her house key out from inside her purse, she unlocked the door and stepped inside.14
“Alison? Is that you?” her mother’s voice was scratchy, probably from screaming too much last night at whichever club she had been to. Alison walked into the kitchen, dropping her purse and t-shirt on the table. Her mom was draped over a chair, still dressed in a little black dress from last night, and a pair of red pumps lay at her feet. 15
“Alison,” her mother slurred. She was definitely hung over. “You didn’t do the laundry this morning. Or the dishes.” 16
To any other girl, the fact that her mother hadn’t realized she was gone all night would have surprised them, but not Alison. She merely nodded, sniffled, and said, “I’ll do them soon.”17
Her mom nodded before slipping into sleep again, right there in the wooden kitchen chair, her uneven breathing producing harsh snores. Alison looked at her mom for a second, and she began crying again. It was all her dad’s fault, that her and her mom had ended up like this- why did he have to die? 18
For the second time in two hours, her sobbing began uncontrollable. 19
Alison didn’t know how she ended up at the Eckerd’s down the street. She had just started walking and walking, and she ended up in front of the little pharmacy. She stared at the blinking letters for a second, and the ‘k’ finally burnt out. Alison walked inside, knowing her indigo eyes were probably red and puffy, and her caramel colored skin was probably lined with smudged makeup. She might as well buy a pregnancy test while she was here.20
She wandered aimlessly around the store, touching random items on the shelves, running her fingers along displays. She wondered what she must look like to anyone else, as she pulled a pregnancy test off a shelf, the pink and purple box blurred by tears, still crying.21
“Alison?” 22
She spun around, and Ben Moore from her P.E. class was there. He looked at her with concern in his eyes, and he almost reached out a hand to touch her, but he stopped himself. Alison found herself half-wishing that he had. Sometimes during P.E. she’d watch him play basketball, and it surprised her how graceful he was for his height. He was big, but muscular, and he vaguely reminded her of a ballet dancer. She started to wonder what he’d look like in a leotard and giggled for the first time in two days. 23
“Oh, hi Ben,” she said. Sheepishly, she brushed her hair out of her eyes and hitched her purse up over her shoulder again. Alison realized she was holding a pregnancy test, and hurriedly held it behind her back. “What’s up?”24
“Alison, are you okay? And don’t say yes, because I know you’re not,” he added. His jet black hair was even curlier than usual because of the rain, and it was too late, he had already seen the pregnancy test. He was eyeing the box she held behind her back with a look of almost disgust. 25
Alison laughed through her tears again. “Then why’d you even ask?” she asked playfully, wiping her eyes a third time. She looked Ben right in the eye, and she was surprised that he held her gaze.26
“So I’d have an excuse to hug you.” With that, he stepped forward and wrapped his arms around her. He was warm, and solid, but surprisingly gentle. They stood there like that for a second, before Alison wiggled free and waved the box around.27
“Better go pay for this real quick,” she said, gesturing towards the cashier tapping his pen on the counter. She apologized with her eyes and left Ben standing there, wondering who had hurt her.28
As Alison paid for her purchase, the young male cashier looked her up and down. She couldn’t be more than seventeen or eighteen, he decided. Almost painfully he accepted her crumpled bills and in exchange, he handed her the little box that could very well determine her future.29
Alison walked back over to Ben, who was checking his phone for messages and leaning up against a display of fingernail polish. When she walked towards him, bag in hand, he flipped his phone shut and turned to her. 30
“You want to go get some coffee or something?” he asked, referring towards the Starbucks that was right around the corner. “If your parents don’t mind, of course.”31
Alison broke down in giggles. She was a little dizzy, and half-delirious as she said, “Dad’s gone. Mom’s drunk. Let’s get some coffee.” Her words were a little slurred and as they were halfway out the door, she swayed and fainted.32
“Alison? Alison? You okay?” Ben’s voice was frantic, and he was pressing a cool cloth against her forehead.33
“Y-yeah, I’m fine,” Alison stumbled over the words. “Everything’s been happening kind of fast, though, and I’m a little...out of it, I guess.” She shook her hair out of her eyes sheepishly and reached a hand up. Blake delicately took it in his larger hand. His biceps twitched as he pulled her to her feet. 34
“Hold on, I’ll get you some water,” Ben said, already walking off. Allison blinked a couple of times and realized that she wasn’t in Eckerd’s anymore, or even Starbucks. She was in a small, cozy house, filled with overstuffed easy chairs and bookshelves lined with paperbacks. Alison figured Ben had driven her to his own house.35
A couple of seconds later, Ben returned, holding a clear plastic glass filled three-quarters of the way with cold tap water. He handed it to her, and she drained the cup. Alison handed it back to him almost apologetically. 36
“Sorry for all this...” her voice trailed off, and she gestured around the room with her hands. “I didn’t mean to be such a pain.”37
“I don’t think you’re the one that needs to be apologizing,” Ben said. He motioned towards her plastic Eckerd’s bag lying beside the front door, and then at her mascara-stained cheeks. “Someone’s hurt you, Alison.” 38
She stood there, leaning up against a soft, broken in leather chair that was mostly covered in clean laundry, and looked at the boy sitting across from her. He had already done so much for her in the last couple of hours. Ben cared more for her than Blake ever had. Didn’t Ben at least deserve to know what was going on? The seventeen-year old girl shuffled across the carpeted floor towards the sofa and sat down next to Ben. She took a deep breath, and started from the beginning.39
“My dad died when I was twelve,” she said, already feeling a lump form in her throat. “He was a police officer. After that, my mom was never the same. I guess she just couldn’t accept that he was gone. She still can’t, and neither can I, but I haven’t changed that much. Now I don’t have a father, but it’s like I don’t have a mother, either. She stays out late all night going to clubs and bars, and I have to run the house. I shouldn’t have to, I’m only seventeen.”40
Her shoulders were shaking and Ben slid a protective arm around them. She leaned into him and kept talking, but her voice was not much louder than a whisper.41
“Last night I was at a concert with Blake, and I guess we were both a little drunk. He said that I said I didn’t want to go home, but I don’t believe him. I don’t really believe anything he says. I guess I ended up sleeping at his house...and I don’t know what happened. Anything could have happened. I know that I won’t be able to raise a baby, my mom sure won’t help me, and Blake...doesn’t care about me. No one does.”42
Ben stroked her dark curls as Alison cried for the third time that day, but this time it was into someone’s arms- someone that really did care.43
Blake and the rest of his family succeeded in convincing Alison to stay for dinner. Alison assured them she didn’t want to be any more trouble when they had first asked her, but Katie, Blake’s four year old sister, clung to her leg and looked up at Alison with the biggest blue-green eyes she had ever seen. 44
“Alright,” Alison smiled down at Katie. “I guess I have to stay, now.”45
The Moore family dining room consisted of a beautiful, dark wood rectangle table that looked rather out of place compared to the rest of their house. When Alison sat down, she noticed a small piece of metal screwed into the side of the table. An inscription read, For Sophia, so she can give to others. When Ben came in the room and sat in the chair next to her, she pointed it out to him.46
“Sophia was my great-grandmother,” he said. He ran his finger along the edge of the tiny piece of metal. “She was a fantastic cook, and she always had these big family dinners. When her and my great-grandpa first got married he gave her this table.”47
That made Alison’s heart hurt a little bit, like someone was poking it lightly with something sharp. She never knew any of her family- no grandparents, cousins, aunts, or uncles. Come to think of it, she didn’t even know her mother that well.48
Yet another tear lingered on the fold of her eyelid, but she brushed it away as Mr. and Mrs. Moore walked into the room, Katie following closely behind, dragging a worn blanket on the floor.49
It was the first real dinner Katie had had with any sort of family in a long time. The food was delicious- juicy tenderloin and piping hot baked potatoes and fresh rolls and a leafy green salad topped with Mrs. Moore’s homemade salad dressing. They were all very comfortable with each other, and close- two things Alison had never been with her family.50
After dinner, Alison tried to clear her dishes but Ben’s mother assured her it was okay, she’d do them herself. She hugged Mr. and Mrs. Moore goodbye and thanked them for dinner, and then she hugged Katie, too.51
“Don’t worry,” Alison promised Katie. “I’ll see you soon.”52
Then to Mrs. Moore, she said, “If you ever need a babysitter- ever- I’ll be happy to help.” She pulled a scrap of paper from her pocket and wrote down her cell phone number with a blue ballpoint pen Ben’s mom handed her. 53
“I’ll walk her out,” Ben offered, and he picked up Alison’s coat and purse and led her out the door.54
They stood there, under the front porch’s light, looking everywhere but at each other. Alison glanced at Ben out of the corner of her eye and she felt like she couldn’t breathe. 55
He was putting his hands on her shoulder. 56
Leaning in.57
His face was inches from hers. 58
The porch light was fading away, along with the space between their lips. 59
His eyes were beautiful- greenish gray, like the sky is moments before the sun rises.60
He was still leaning in, closer and closer, until his lips pressed against hers lightly at first, but then she breathed in his smell and she pushed him against the front door and he wrapped his arms around her.61
“Don’t hurt me like Blake did,” she whispered.62
“I won’t,” he promised.63
She believed him.64
For the second day in a row, Alison accidentally spent the night at a boy’s house, but this time it was different. Ben and Alison ended up on the front porch swing, rocking gently with the August breeze, lying across the wooden swing on a pile of rocking chair pillows, covered by a picnic blanket.65
Alison and Ben both woke up early- Alison from habit, and Ben because he probably wasn’t used to being outside when the sun rose. As she stirred and rubbed her eyes sleepily, he sat up and yawned too. 66
“Good morning, beautiful,” Ben smiled into Alison’s ear, and she turned so her lips met his. 67
“How’d you sleep?” Alison asked him, getting off the swing and stretching. The sun was curiously peeking over the horizon, shining a warm glow on the half of her face that Ben could see. Her long curly hair brushed against his shoulder as he walked up to her and put his arm around her shoulder.68
“Better, knowing you were okay,” he nodded towards the almost-forgotten Eckerd’s bag that Alison had dropped the previous night. She turned her eyes to the ground. 69
“I guess I better go now, then,” she said, turning to Ben. She gathered her things in her arms and started down the porch stairs.70
“Wait! I didn’t mean to- I, well, at least let me drive you home,” Ben finished. He gestured towards the beat up blue station wagon in his driveway. “Please?”71
“I’ll be okay,” Alison whispered, but she couldn’t even convince herself, let alone Ben. She leaned in for one last kiss, and she started to walk home. Ben watched her until he couldn’t see her anymore and even then he didn’t go inside. 72
The rest of the way home, Alison focused intently on the ground, careful not to look anyone passing her in the eye, half afraid that if she did make eye contact their look her up and down, take in her rumpled appearance, then cluck their tongues and shake their heads, disappointed in the choices she’d made.73
She twirled the drugstore bag on her finger as she shuffled home, staying to the side of the road, letting the plastic twist around the end of her ring finger until the circulation was finally cut off, and it turned a shade of reddish purple, like a radish. Alison snickered to herself, thinking hat she should just like the finger fall off, because it’s not like she’d ever get a ring from someone to put there anyway.74
Cars streaked past her in a blur of early-morning traffic, all the screeching brakes and honking horns and chugging engines blending together into a soundtrack of forgotten people.75
She kept going, closer and closer to home, when suddenly she was hit by a wave of sadness. All around her, she noticed as she cut through a small park, were families, and happy ones at that. They laughed and held each other, content with merely being with each other. There were no stiff spines, tense words, or fake smiles, like there were when Alison and her mom were together. All the mothers and fathers and children were focused on each other, their brains were with them and they weren’t controlled by the affects of last night’s drinking and drugs. The sadness was shoved out of her heart- not entirely, but mostly- and replaced by angry longing.76
Ben was still standing on the front porch after he watched Alison slip out of his cul-de-sac and disappear from view. He sat on the swing, feeling the indent in the cushions from where both of their bodies had been last night. Looking up at the sky, he thanked the breeze as it pushed on the flittering leaves, which were pulling on the branches, trying to escape. The August chill had given him an excuse to Alison all night long, and he secretly wished the air would never stand still again. 77
Chapter Two- September 78
It was Monday, and Mondays were beginnings for Alison. While every other high school student in the entire world dreaded coming back to school after the weekend was over, Alison was eager for the return to her life, instead of just lingering in her mother’s and trying to make sure she was okay. Her weekends were filled with making coffee to fix hangovers, doing endless loads of laundry to get vomit stains out of her mother’s favorite dresses, and rushing to the store at a moment’s notice.79
The book bag Alison carried around was heavy, as usual, but it felt particularly full as she loaded it into the passenger seat of her truck. Her arm muscles were sore, as were her legs, and she realized it was probably from her night spent on Ben’s porch swing. She rubbed her achy limbs and sighed. Her heart hurt now, too.80
A sports car much like the one her mother drove sped down her street, a burst of loud music lingering in its wake. Alison hoped it wasn’t one of her classmates- she hadn’t ever invited any of her friends over before. She didn’t want to risk having them crack jokes about her drunken mother, rundown truck, or cramped house. Popularity was a mask Alison hid behind, one painted with smiles and parties and boys. Sometimes it was too much to handle, but it was better than the truth.81
Rounding the front of her truck, she swung herself into the driver’s side of the car, the bottoms of her grey sweatpants brushing the puddle-covered street. She cursed quietly, feeling the water soak through the sides of her running shoes. The air hung humid around her, following her into the truck, refusing to go away even as she turned her key in the ignition and started the engine, turning the air condition up as high as it would go. 82
The icy blast froze her cheeks, but at least the AC was working today. At least something was going right.83
Ben drove an ancient four-door Station Wagon into the school parking lot, turning into the first open space he saw. He was early- besides the teachers, there was hardly anyone there. It was the first day of September and school had only been in session for a week or two. Everyone else seemed desperate not to come to school, but Ben didn’t mind it at all. It was a chance to start over for him.84
He sat in his car with the radio on, shuffling through stations and finding songs he liked, singing along to them under his breath so no one else but him could hear how raspy his voice sounded. When he saw a rusty red pick up truck grumble into the school lot, he immediately assumed it was one of the guys, and immediately changed from the country station he had been listening to, to another one that played an endless stream of nonsense rap music. 85
To his surprise, it was Alison.86
She pulled into the space next to him and cut the engine, twirling her key ring around her pointer finger. Ben blushed a dark red, and ever single memory of talking to a girl seemed to drift from his mind until he had no clue how to say hello to Alison. He wished she would say something.87
“Nice music,” Alison rolled her eyes, clearly unimpressed with his hasty station switch to save his reputation.88
“I actually was listening to something different...but when you drove up, well, your car looks kind of like Jason’s, and I didn’t want him to...” he trailed off, and fiddled with the knob on the dashboard until the radio played the previous station again. Alison’s eyes softened and she got out of her truck.89
“I get what you mean,” Alison said, scuffing the toe of her sneaker against the pavement. The silence hung between them like an ice curtain, waiting to be shattered. Turning her back to Ben, she pulled her backpack out of her car.90
“Hey, first bell doesn’t ring for twenty minutes or so...come sit with me,” Ben said, getting his usual jock confidence back, and patted the seat beside him. Alison rolled her eyes again, but this time she smiled.91
“Okay.”92
Blake Hutton was not used to being broken up with, so as predicted, he did not take being dumped by Alison very well. Along with being broken up with after a particularly pleasing night, he also did not appreciate driving into the school parking lot to see Ben Moore holding Alison’s hand. He banged his fist on the dashboard and swore loudly. This was not adding up to a very good week.93
He grabbed his books and gym bag and got out of his new Jeep, slamming the door shut behind him. Ben, who had seconds before been talking extremely close to Alison, to the point where his lips grazed her cheek, shot backwards from her. Blake’s eyes narrowed and he took a step closer to them, his mouth opened and words bubbled up in his throat, but just as he was about to say something, the bell rang.94
Ben, Alison, Blake, and the rest of the students who had moments before been crowded around the courtyard, scurried inside like a swarm of beetles.95
‘Sorry about Blake,’ read the note that Ben had tossed onto her pile of books as Alison had been fiddling with the lock on her locker. Unlike Blake’s handwriting, Ben’s letters were carefully formed, like he had taken the time to perfect every curve and stroke of his pen. The piece of notebook paper had been folded into a neat square and her name had been printed on the outside in all capitals, elementary-school style. Alison giggled at Ben’s boyish cuteness.96
Then she remembered the angry and slightly hurt look on Blake’s face when he had seen her and Ben together, and sighed. Gathering her books into the crook of her arm, she tucked the note into the pocket of her sweatpants and went to her first period class.97
In Ms. Moser’s History class, she sat in first row, on the far left side. If she twisted her head around to the left, she had a perfect view through the windows of the school parking lot, courtyard, and everything that lay beyond them. Traffic zoomed by on the congested streets, clouds of smoke hung over the roads like God had sent them to keep an eye on the world, and a few hesitant raindrops dripped nervously from the sky...98
“Alison!” Ms. Moser’s ruler slapped suddenly on her desk, millimeters from her fingers. Alison drew her hand back quickly and fought the temptation to roll her eyes. Ms. Moser only liked the students who sat pencil-straight in their desks and hung on her every word, taking notes about taking notes and who had never gotten a day of detention in their lifetime. 99
“Sorry, Ms. Moser,” she mumbled. Alison swung her legs around and faced front again, and drew a piece of paper from inside her History binder. She started frantically scribbling and Ms. Moser, mistaking her crazed pencil movements for note-taking, walked away.100
After she was done, she folded the paper into a perfect paper crane, then kicked it three seats to her right.101
When he found the origami bird underneath his desk, Ben immediately knew it was from Alison. As soon as Ms. Moser returned to her desk to find the stack of graded tests she was about to pass out, he ducked his head down and unfolded the paper slowly, careful not to rip it. The notebook paper fell into his lap, creased where Alison had used to fingernail to perfect the folds.102
‘Drive me somewhere tonight and you’ll be forgiven,’ he read to himself. Even though the test Ms. Moser tossed on his desk had a D+ written across the top in red ink, he couldn’t help but smiling. Ms. Moser saw his half-concealed grin her eyes narrowed.103
“A D plus is nothing to be celebrating, Mr. Moore,” she commented, pointing a maroon fingernail at the test on his desk. 104
“But it’s a D plus, Ms. Moser,” Ben said after a moment. “My last test was just a D.” 105
“And that’s all it ever will be unless you focus on your academics instead of on girls and sports, Mr. Moore! I don’t appreciate being talked back to,” she added. “Please shut your mouth and try to start focusing now!”106
Ben turned to Alison and received the sympathetic eye roll he had been hoping for. 107
“Sorry,” she mouthed.108
“It’s okay,” he mouthed back. And they both smiled.109
Ben arrived at Alison’s house at seven o’clock, just when it was starting to get dark outside. The flickering of fireflies, which became less and less common as the autumnal equinox drew closer, seemed to brighten suddenly as his car pulled up outside of her house. He noticed that there was only Alison’s car in the driveway- her mother must have been out already. 110
He was about to beep his horn when the front door opened a tiny bit and Alison slipped out, and after closing it behind her, she hopped down the front steps without even locking the door first. Ben looked at her quizzically and she rolled her eyes.111
“Sometimes Mom forgets her key...or, after she gets back, she’s just too drunk to understand how to use it,” she explained sarcastically. Ben gave her a soft half-smile and opened the door.112
Alison giggled under her breath at the irony of it all. Here she was, after dumping Blake Hutton for taking her back to his house, and Ben Moore was opening his car door for her. A month ago she would have never thought it would happen, never would have believed it if someone told her it was going to happen. All the same, she accepted his gentlemanly gesture and stepped into the passenger seat. She let the door slowly swing shut behind her.113
At first he didn’t know the way, but after twenty minutes of passenger-directed driving, he understood where he was going.114
Although when you are driving through the downtown section of the city it’s hard to believe, but there are many vast fields in Raleigh. They are overgrown with tall grass that makes it look like your clothes consist only of cloth woven from plants, and that tickles your legs and waist and arms. The fields are especially beautiful in the summertime, and even more so at night, when after it gets dark the heat still hangs around and the sky opens up to reveal a lifetime of stars and the air is thick with lightning bugs. Ben realized that one of these fields was his destination. 115
He was finally told to stop, and they both sat in silence for a moment. Boyish temptation tugged at the back of his mind but he fought it. Not now, he thought, not after everything she’s been through. But the longing was still there.116
They both opened their doors at the exact same time, and then went to sit on the hood of his car. The sun sank lower and lower in the sky, and when it finally disappeared, Ben wrapped his arm around Alison and held her close. She relaxed in his arms, and breathed in the amazing scent of him, taking in everything she now realized she loved about him. 117
She looked up into his eyes, which were already fixed on her. Tears lingered on her eyelids. He was so beautiful, so perfect. She was afraid he was a dream.118
“Tell me you’re real,” she whispered. “Please be real.”119
He looked down at her. Her lips were so perfectly formed, and they were half-open in a silent plea. She was so beautiful, so...vulnerable. He was afraid she would slip away. 120
“I am,” he said. “As long as you promise you aren’t a dream either.” 121
He pulled her even closer, and held her head against his chest. She listened to his heart beat and hers seemed to slow; she wished she could stop time. She wanted to stay there forever, unmoving, in his arms. 122
“I love you,” Alison murmured into his chest. His shirt was made of soft cotton, and she wondered if he could feel her tears through it. 123
Ben lifted her head up to face him. She wouldn’t meet his eyes; she seemed embarrassed. Ashamed. Tears streamed down her face, and her hair tangled in the breeze. He didn’t understand. 124
“I love you too,” he said, searching her face with his eyes. He wiped her cheek with his thumb. “What’s wrong?”125
Silently, she pulled something out of her pocket. It was the pregnancy test she had bought at Eckerd’s. A little pink plus sign seemed to glow in the night.126
“It’s positive,” she said. Her hands were shaking, her voice cracked, her world seemed to fall apart around her. “I’m carrying Blake’s baby.”127
“It’ll be okay,” he promised. But even as he said the words, he had no idea how he was going to make them come true.128
Chapter Three- October129
A couple of weeks later, and Alison woke up with morning sickness for the first time. Before dragging herself to the bathroom, she briefly paused and looked at her reflection in the mirror hanging across from her bed. She saw a tired, defeated girl, one with tear stains etched into her face and pale green skin. After throwing up multiple times and rigorously brushing her teeth, she returned to her bed and flipped open her cell phone, drawing up her contacts list and finding Ben’s phone number. 130
“just threw up...i h8 morning sickness,” she texted. Her fingers clumsily moved over the tiny keys. She grimaced slightly as she pressed send. A graphic of a little envelope with wings popped up on the display screen, and her phone beeped twice, seeming to mark the start of her nine month journey to hell. 131
Alison could tell from the slow, steady breathing coming from her mother’s bedroom that her mom was still asleep. She pressed her ear against the closed door and listened for a few seconds, wondering if she would ever sleep that soundly again. After withdrawing her ear from up against the door, she tiptoed down the hallway and into the kitchen.132
Her stomach turned somersaults as she got out pots and pans for her mother’s breakfast. It made her head hurt to think about food. I’m pregnant, Alison thought. And Blake’s the father. There’s life inside me. 133
She put the dishes back inside the cabinets and instead left a box of cereal and a bowl on the counter as an obvious hint for her mother that Alison was not going to cook this morning. I’m sorry about your breakfast, read the note Alison left beside the box of Cheerios, but it’s time you learn how to cook I’ll be back soon. She realized that her mom probably wouldn’t read the note, but she felt better leaving it.134
As soon as her feet hit the pavement, she realized she wasn’t wearing shoes. The sharp gravel didn’t bother her skin at all, though- seventeen summers of walking barefoot had permanently toughened the underside of her feet to the point where she could walk shoeless for days and it wouldn’t hurt a bit. She scrunched up her toes and kept going, speeding up to a jog.135
The phone in her basketball shorts pocket began to vibrate. Alison pulled it out and looked at the screen- the same winged envelope graphic was there, announcing an incoming message. She pressed the button that corresponded with “receive” and waited for the text to be displayed.136
“wish i could be there with u. where r u now?” read the test. It was obviously from Ben. Alison smiled and texted back, “wait and c” 137
Moments later she was in front of his house.138
“What are you doing here?” he sputtered, opening the door in a pair of sweatpants and a white t-shirt. He ran a hand through his messy hair. “We have school today, for God’s sake!”139
Alison opened her mouth in shock. Was he yelling at her? “I’m sorry,” she muttered, looking down at her bare feet. “I just wanted to see you. I needed to see you. Whatever. I’m sorry.” 140
She turned to walk away, and Ben’s heart broke.141
“Look, Alison-” he stumbled down the steps leading up to the front of his house and grabbed her arm. Alison froze. Blake used to do that all the time. 142
“Don’t touch me like that.” Her voice was quiet, and slow, but Ben could tell she meant every word.143
Ben gaped at her. What had he done? He dropped her arm and took a step back, holding his hands in the air in an I’m-surrendering-please-don’t-hurt-me gesture. “I’m sorry,” he finally said. He was relieved to see Alison’s gaze soften. “I was just…surprised…to see you here. Are you okay?”144
“Yeah.” Alison stepped closer to him, still holding her arm where Ben had grabbed her. It didn’t hurt, but her heart sure did.145
“I’m sorry,” he said again. He took one step forward. And another. And another, until he was close enough to Alison that she could press her head against his chest and he could wrap his arms around her. They stood there for a moment, not saying anything. “Do you want a ride to school?”146
“Yeah.” She smiled. “I’d like that.”147
“It’s only October and you’ve already got yourself another boyfriend, Alison Gray.” Ben leaned in and kissed her nose. “That’s a pretty big accomplishment.”148
“I like that, too,” Alison giggled. She kissed him back.149
After stopping by Alison’s house so she could throw on a fresh pair of shorts and a clean t-shirt and so she could pick up her books, Ben drove to the high school. They sat in the car and listened to music for a couple of minutes, Alison resting her head in the crook of Ben’s arm. 150
When the lunch bell rang, Ben popped his head into Alison’s fourth period class, where she was chatting with friends and gathering her books. 151
“Alison!” he called across the classroom. She looked up, then smiled and waved when she saw him. He walked over to her where she was standing in the center of a small group of girls and guys, smiling politely and nodding to them. Ben slipped an arm around her waist and leaned in towards her ear.152
“Wanna head off campus for lunch?” he whispered. “And you better say yes, because I already made reservations.”153
Alison pulled away from him and giggled. “Reservations? What kind of place around here takes reservations, anyway?” There was a mall around the corner that most of the students walked to during lunch if they were heading off campus, and unless the burger joint was jam-packed after a football game, there was no restaurants close by you had to get a reservation for.154
“Shhh.” His breath tickled her ear, and she relaxed into him. A chill went up and down her spine. “It’s a surprise.” 155
“Whatever,” Alison laughed. She gave Ben a peck on the cheek, waved goodbye to her friends, and let Ben lead her outside by her hand. 156
His car was waiting in a parking space not too far from the steps leading up to the main doors. A swarm of kids were already walking down the street towards the burger joint down the road, talking and laughing and discussing every single thing that had already happened that day. Alison started to walk towards the Station Wagon, but Ben tugged on her hand and pulled her the other way.157
“It’s not too far from here, so I thought we’d walk,” he said, shrugging. “If that’s okay with you, I mean.”158
Alison shrugged back and beamed. “That’s great, it’s beautiful outside.”159
“Not as beautiful as you…” his voice trailed off and he looked at her. She had a faint smile etched on her face, and a single strand of hair hung in front of her eyes. He reached out and brushed it out of her face. Alison looked down at the ground, avoiding his eyes. 160
“Alright, let’s play a game.” Ben started to walk, slipping his hand into Alison’s and they fell in rhythm with each other, stepping in time with each other’s heartbeats.161
“Alright, then,” Alison looked up. “What’d you wanna play?” She swung his hand back and forth.162
“Um, Twenty Questions?” he suggested. “Except I don’t like that plant, animal, mineral thing. Can we just ask each other questions?” 163
Alison laughed again. She loved how easily Ben could make her laugh. “Sure, that’s fine with me. You first, though.”164
“Alright.” He grinned. “Do you like Jell-O with or without Cool Whip?” Ben turned his head and looked at her, waiting for her answer. 165
“Ew!” Alison wrinkled up her nose in disgust. “Try, not at all! Jell-O is disgusting, it’s wiggly…and jiggly…and cold! I can’t believe people actually eat that stuff. And like it.”166
Ben widened his eyes. “You don’t like Jell-O? You must be the only person in the entire country that doesn’t like Jell-O! So if you hate it so much, what do you eat for dessert at cook outs and stuff?”167
“Chocolate, duh!” she giggled. Alison squeezed Ben’s hand, and said, “Okay, my turn. What would you rather get for Valentine’s Day- one of those giant teddy bears, or a bouquet of flowers?”168
“Not chocolate?” Ben teased Alison. She took her hand out of his and playfully slapped him on the shoulder. 169
When Ben led Alison around the corner and she saw where they were going to be eating, she started to shake her head. 170
“What’s wrong, baby?” Ben frowned. “You don’t like it?” The name of the restaurant, Fins, was carved in a huge piece of wood hanging above the front doors, and Ben could see the dim lights inside. He had heard from a friend it had the best seafood in town. Alison had told him she loved fish.171
“Ben, the fanciest place I’ve eaten is Applebee’s…why are you taking me here?” she asked in a frantic whisper. 172
“Because you deserve it, Alison,” Ben said in a calm voice. 173
“Ben…no I don’t…” 174
“Look, Al. You’re pregnant with your ex-boyfriend’s baby, and if you don’t mind my saying so, your mom is a drunk and you have to take care of her. How do you not deserve it?”175
Alison sighed, and eyed the restaurant. She could smell the seafood. “Fine, but only because I love fish.”176
“And me,” Ben added. Alison pretended to be angry, but she let Ben pull her inside.177
The hostess took one look at the way Ben was holding Alison’s hands, took two menus from a pile, and led them to a small table in a back room. Ben gave the woman a small smile, then said something to her in a low voice, to which she replied “of course”, while Alison stared at the chandeliers. The closest she had ever come to something that beautiful was looking at it in a magazine.178
“This way, please,” the hostess said, interrupting Alison’s thoughts, then gestured for the couple to follow her. The woman pointed to a table on an outside patio and smiled softly when she saw the girl’s face light up. The boy whispered something in her ear slipped his arm around her waist. 179
The hostess set the menus on the table and gave them the standard hi-my-name-is, the-specials-for-today-are, and your-server-will-be-here-shortly talk that she gave everyone. But the woman could tell that this young couple was not like all the other ones she had served, as the young girl- sixteen, maybe? seventeen?- put a protective hand on her stomach as she listened to the woman talk.180
As she ran through her practiced speech, the girl would occasionally look around guiltily, as if she wasn’t sure if she was supposed to be here or not, hand gently resting on her stomach all the while. The boy slid his hand over the girl’s, and when their fingertips touched, it was as if every muscle in the girl’s body relaxed, and a smile ever-so-slightly crawled its way onto her lips. 181
The hostess left the couple, and made her way back into the restaurant. She took one last peek at them. The girl was crying.182
“Alison…?”183
Ben looked over at her, surprised to see her crying again. He wanted to groan and throw a box of tissues at her and demand to know if this was normal behavior for a pregnant teenager, but instead he stroked her hair.184
“Sorry,” she smiled, tears dripping into her open mouth. “It’s just that…Blake never treated me like this…he never…he never cared…”185
“Don’t worry about Blake, Al,” Ben’s voice dropped nearly
to a whisper. “I’m here now.”186
The hostess watched from the window and felt a tear of her own slide down her cheek.
Author notes
In a list
A contest entry
- ♥...stormy kisses...♥ by always feel pretty.
450 points, ended December 31, 2007, 34 entries
Honorable mention
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
sooooooooo. [:
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
-
Wow. So far so amazing!
I agree with Erica; incredible it is!
The emotions were very real, the descriptions lovely, and the grammar as far as I could tell, was right-on. The part about the dinner, though, you wrote Katie instead of Alison somewhere.
But this is awesome. Write more!
I love it.
-
-
Thanks! And I'll go look for that Katie
-
-
Welcome.
-
-
-
Hmmm. I hadn't gotten a chance to read the rest you've added to this story. BUT OHMYGOD! Sarah! This is incredible. I might have another contest just so you can enter this so I can give you a gold.
I LOVE IT.
,
erica)♥(xoxo
-
-
Thanks- there's more, but I haven't posted it yet...maybe I will later.
-
-
Tell me if you do!
-
-
-
I really did like this... All of your characters seemed incredibly believable, and I felt such grief and sympathy for poor Allison. I really hope that everything turns out all right for her and Ben! They seem sweet!
You have written this with a maturity far beyond your 12 years... Your writing voice seems much more sophisticated than that of someone your age. Well done, and congrats on the HM, though it deserves more.
Brava!
Laura x
-
-
Thanks so much for your kind words!
-
-
This is really good! I love Ben and Alison together!
They seem to be a wonderful match! And I also loved how you made the plot flow so easily!
I had a couple itches with this story:
I had a slight problem with how quickly she got to know Ben and everything and how short and choppy the emotions were in the beginning. (though I loved how you portrayed Alison) Some events were a little rushed and I think you could add more too them, example. when she fainted.
Well, besides that, I love this piece! It's orriginal and sweet. Keep on writing!
Cheers,
VW -
-
Thanks! I'll definitely take another look at the fainting scene...thanks for the suggestions!
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 10 of 10
