Spin [Chapter One.Part One]

My first memories of this world consist of Ashlee Thompson. In fact, my very earliest memory is of the day that me and Ashlee met. This was long before I ever knew you existed, way back to those carefree, depression ridden days. Back when I didn’t cry myself to sleep every night.1

The day that Ashlee and I met, I was at the park. I could’ve only been 3 or 4 years old, and I was running around aimlessly, like an idiot. It turns out I wasn’t the only one, because I rounded the corner of the play set and ran smack into him. Our heads collided with a loud crack and his tooth jammed its way through my upper lip. Our mothers heard the crying and came running. We both had single mothers, and they hit it off. A little less literally than me and Ashlee did. We’ve been best friends ever since that day, and I still have that scar. Sometimes I find myself tracing it, seeing a play-by-play in my mind. I’ve found myself doing that quite a lot recently.2

Upon our next meeting- a play date set up by our parents –he marched up to me with a big grin on his face and introduced himself. I’d laughed at his name, and commented on its femininity, and his brow has creased as his gaze slowly fell to the ground. That’s all I remember of that second meeting, in fact, it’s all I remember for a while. I’m not sure why that one particular memory sticks out so much in my mind.3

By age 7, Ashlee and I were inseparable. We were best friends, and that meant that if someone stole his pudding cup, I would call them a name, and they would tell on me. That was the first of many trips to the principal’s office.4

By third grade, the other kids had started to notice our gender differences. Ashlee and I were teased daily, because, then, it wasn’t okay for a girl and a guy to be close friends. It usually went something like this:5

“Tess and Ashlee sittin in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G…”6

“You’re just jealous.” Ashlee would say, and the kids would continue.7

“First comes love, then com-“By then I would have slugged the jerk and had em pinned to the blacktop. I wasn’t a big girl by any means, but I was quick. What I didn’t have in muscle mass, I made up for in speed. And that’s all it takes. Strike like a cobra, lash out at them before they know it’s coming, and they are helpless. A pawn in your game of chess.8

It was only a couple years after that that we hit puberty and our hormones went wild. I remember the day he have me my first kiss. Ashlee and I were lying, tangled, under a willow tree in his backyard, when he suddenly loosened himself from me, and sat up, looking at me sheepishly.9

“What?” I’d asked him, and he opened his mouth to speak and then closed it again.10

“Come on, just tell me.”11

He took a deep breath and exhaled, tried again.12

“I think I’m gay.”13

My eyes widened as the brick wall of shock hit me. “Are you sure?”14

He sighed, “No, but I… I noticed myself looking at other guys…” he trailed off and I scooted closer to him.15

“Kiss me.” I said.16

“What? Why?”17

“Just do it.”18

His face leaned in closer to mine and our noses bumped, but somehow he managed to find my lips.19

When he pulled his mouth away from mine, I opened my eyes again to find him studying me.20

“Feel anything?”21

“No.”22

“Butterflies, fireworks, sparks, caterpillars?” 23

“Nothing.” A blush creeped up his neck, and he turned his gaze away from me.24

That was the day I learned that my best friend, Ashlee Thompson, was gay.25