Megan's Bout with Deminity - [Incomplete]

Read Author Notes before taking the plunge.1

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Novel Snippet:3

Megan has nearly lost her mind. Although intelligent and satirical, her demand for fantasy makes her appear delusion. Unfortunately, there is still a part of her deep inside that can't break free of reality. When she meets a mysterious Hooded Man in need of help, he tempts her into entering Deminity, an infinite, chaotic dimension that is home to a variety of eccentric beings. Once there, she struggles to throw down the barriers of her own common sense and finds herself in one perplexing bind after another, whether it's watching the world flip upside down before her eyes, battling a monstrous grape juice addiction or being hurled across the universe in the crater of a moon golf ball.4

What she doesn't realize is that there's a power struggle going on more ghastly than she can imagine. Either she must walk the line between the rational and irrational in order to navigate the chaos , or find her path blocked by a treacherous tyrant and a prejudice Queen.5


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The Prelude of the Ancient War7


Deminity was an endless land beyond the scope of finite, a place where eternal beings of all shapes and forms lived. It didn't matter if they had the design of an inanimate object, such as Baccus - the popular and tipsy canteen of wine - or was an animal who humans deem to be unintelligent, because the infinite nature of Deminity has given sensible livelihood to many silent things. It was the type of world where a Venus fly trap would rather debate politics with an insect than try to devour it. Of course, the insect may still have gotten eaten if its side was too left wing, but that was another matter.8

Where this strange dimension came from, nobody knows, but it was a remarkable place nonetheless. It had escaped the flow of time that wrinkles mortals so quickly, and had such erratic properties that it would have given Einstein a massive headache. But to the eternal beings who lived there, chaos was the only way to live. In fact, the one thing that they could always count on was that their dimension was always changing around them. Sometimes a planet could be spinning one way, and then all of a sudden, it could change directions and spin the other. Why, one clumsy (and very hairy) being once fell down a hole that appeared in a field. When she landed in a room full of helium balloons, she snatched up some of them in her furry palms and proceeded to float back up the same hole. When she reached the top, she wasn't even surprised to find herself coming out of a volcano.9

To a change-fearing human, this would be very vexing and impossible to navigate; could even drive them to madness. But the eternal mind was designed with the ability to make sense of such drastic swings to their environment. To them, it would be the boring, stagnant dimension of the humans that would be unbearable to live in. They would likely organize a heated march through the cities, demanding to see Newton for developing such crazy laws of motion.10

However, only one from Deminity ever went to Earth, for reasons that were his own, so most of the eternal beings were too busy dealing with their own problems, such as war, fascists and egotists. All of these issues arose out of the ancient war, but it had been the actions of a tiny planet prior to it that really ignited the flame.11

The planet, called Purin, was tucked away from sight behind a massive waterfall of silver water in the vastness of outer space. The waterfall, which was spherical in design, acted as a protective barrier to keep outsiders away. Its strange properties allowed the water to always be falling around the planet, and only the most daring and confident could plunge through it. Those who failed would be swept up in the raging current and forced to orbit the planet forever as a drowned satellite.12

Their isolated world was so pure, that many of its inhabitants were the silkiest white beings in all of the dimension. Almost everything on the planet was pristine and white as well, from the planet's ivory surface to the two-beaked doves and the unicorns with a lust for dancing. Even the trees were a sight to see, sprouting leaves that looked and tasted like white chocolate.13

Only the Queen was made of something different than normal matter, an immaculate concoction of silver pure energy that took the form of a translucent tiara. She was the one responsible for the perfect flow of the waterfall barrier, using her confident powers to keep the silver water from either splashing down onto their perfect world, or floating off into the vastness of space.14

At first glance, the planet seemed a heavenly place, filled with cheers and celebration from the public square. It was enclosed with shiny walls of quartz and lay before the towering and spotless palace of soap, the place where Queen Silka ruled the common schmuck underneath the puffy white clouds and the rippling, silver sky.15

On closer inspection, not all was holy and right, as some in the middle of the publics eye were filled with grimace and terror. The loud cheers that circled the square were actually jaunts of humiliation, and they were celebrating the persecution of those who were different. Not all the beings who lived there were considered pure, since some were unfortunate enough to have a blander shade of white in their appearance. Like a yellowing tooth in a sea of pearly whites, they stood out amongst the pure whites and were often taunted to no end, even facing constant violence by those with the power to inflict harm.16

It was O.K. for the purest to do as they pleased to the impure, but the other way around was unacceptable. It was also criminal for any impure to demand to be treated equally, or even defend or otherwise get revenge on a pure white. Those who acted outside the law were sentenced by the ruthless Queen to a public display.17

Right in the middle of the public square, a few of the impure beings were being singled out for their unlawful actions. It was a loud scene as a yellowing teapot was smashed into pieces for filling a silver pool of hostile and clean seashells with scalding water. The bellowing increased as an unsightly unicorn had its horn removed for asking one of its purest kind on a date. Worst of all, a puffy graying cloud was forced to evaporate water droplets filled with painful acid, simply because she wished to discuss her rights with the Queen.18

The horrible discrimination was only feeding the fury and anger of an onlooker, who called himself Marsius. He was tall and thin, with a body like a human, only he had a dull horn like a unicorn in the middle of his forehead. Like the others, he was a lesser shade of white with no body hair, a hollow jaw, tiny nose and beady eyes that were entirely yellow.19

Disgusted with what he was witnessing, he covered himself in a long black hooded cloak just to spite everyone. This created quite the outcry amongst those celebrating in the public square. To stop him, the Queen's personal bodyguards - who were winged polar bears - soared down from the high pillars that encircled the palace and snatched him in their claws, dragging him forcefully to the Queen's chamber to face punishment for his defiance.20

Marsius stood before Silka, gazing through her silver tiara in rage, watching the soap walls ripple through her energy form. She was so furious with Marsius and his black cloak, that she sentenced him to a long stint of ridicule for all the purest to see. Before he was dragged away, he reached out and swung his fist at Silka, but he couldn't hurt her. His punch went right through her tiara form and out the other side. Silka laughed at his futile effort, leaving Marsius unpoised as he was dragged by the body guards to his hideous fate.21

He was brought to a deep pit in the public square and was forced to endure a barrage of seagulls pooping on him, covering his black cloak in sticky white goo that wouldn't rub off. Although the white goo was clean and pure, as only the purest could have poop that didn't smell, it was still embarrassing beyond measure.22

It was in that pit that his fury grew, swearing he would somehow become powerful enough to throttle Silka by her misty silver coronet and save his kind from discrimination.23


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25

Chapter 1: Falling from the Apple Tree26


Megan was not what you would call an ordinary girl. On the surface, she looked like a typical sixteen year old girl with beautiful blue eyes, a round face, two blond pigtails, and the usual outfit of t-shirts and jeans. She was the smartest student in her classes, and she rather enjoyed a large glass of grape juice. However, it was underneath the physical appearance of her clothes and steller exam scores that made her so bizarre.27

She would often lie on her bed and fantasize about exotic worlds and strange adventures, wishing that her life was something more than gravity and homework. Now one may think that was perfectly normal behavior for someone in her middle teenage years, and that having an imagination was a healthy affair for the mind of a growing girl. Her obsession lay in the depths to which she demanded the existence of fantasy worlds. She became so insistent that they were real, that she would look for them everywhere. While other girls were out dancing or getting their nails done, she was peering in shoes, looking in the bottom of cereal boxes and even gazing in the tiny hole of an opened padlock, hoping that someone would invite her into their secret society. Always her searches came up empty, but she did discover a rather large spider in the nook of her dusty closet once. Unfortunately, she was disappointed when the spider refused to talk with her, wondering if the mothballs in her hair made her look too hideous for the hairy creature.28

Some would say that attempting to talk to animals was nothing to be perturbed about, and that they have in fact talked to their own dogs as if the mangy little buggers were living secret lives and could understand everything they said, but her desires went much deeper than a giant mutt conspiracy. Over the course of the past few years, her outward behavior began to reflect her inner cravings. Sometimes she would get so involved in a book or a movie, that she started to take on the traits of the heroes of the stories. She would steal their mannerisms, use their trademark expressions, dress up like them and even solve pretend scenarios with imaginary bad guys. One time, she even used a broom to break a lamp, which she thought was the mastermind being a drug scandal. Generally she only did this around the house when her mother wasn't around, who didn't pay much attention to her anyway, but lately her urges for fantasy were overcoming the battle with her common sense. She started to become less aware of the real world and how her actions would be perceived, and began to openly broadcast her obsessions to the publics eye.29

Most recently, she was reading a comic book about a fabulous squirrel named Squirrelly. He would bolt up the branches of a tree at super speed and then traverse the tree tops as if they were nothing more than common stepping stones. He was the superhero of rodents, defeating crime in the magical forest. She read the comic with such passion and vigor, and she wanted it to be real so bad, that she started believing that she was Squirrelly. It was one thing to pretend she was a rodent in the confines of her bedroom, but another when she walked around thinking that she could do the things that a crime fighting squirrel could do. It was this strange behavior that set into motion a series of events that would forever change her life.30

Her adventure began on an ordinary day of school. She was sitting in her physics class, a bland room of regurgitated yellow and stained windows, surrounded by twenty of her fellow students who didn't think themselves squirrels. However, just like Megan, many of them were pretending to be something they weren't, whether wearing jeans that cut off the circulation to their legs, gawking and chatting in ridiculous slang, or otherwise doing whatever it took to fit in. Since Megan had always chosen to avoid this course of action, there wasn't anyone in the room making an effort to acknowledge her, save one. That was Mr. Wilty, the teacher.31

In fact, he was communicating with all the students, taking down the daily attendance at the start of the class. He was a tall and wrinkled man, much younger than his appearance showed. He was quite prone to stress, which was reflected in his grave expression, slumped shoulders and spotty gray hair. Every time he spoke, his protruding nose hairs seemed to wiggle, adding a slight wheezing into his voice.32

When he called out Megan's name to the hyper class, she sat there quiet as a mouse. Her eyes were focused on the open comic book in her lap, eagerly battling a sarcastic raccoon with a slingshot and acorns.33

"Megan? I called your name, and you didn't answer," said Mr Wilty, gazing at the part in the top of Megan's blond head. "Are you paying attention?"34

The rest of the students snickered. When Megan looked up to see what all the commotion was about, she met the eyes of the entire classroom.35

"Megan?"36

She sat there with an air of innocence, looking left and right as if she too was looking for Megan in the class room. When Mr. Wilty sighed and walked over to her desk, much to the enjoyment of the class, she offered him only an empty stare.37

"Explain yourself," grumbled Mr. Wilty.38

The class silenced in anticipation.39

"Yourself: I believe it's a reflective form of you, is it not?" said Megan, pondering the answer by playing with one of her blond pigtails. "But what does that have to do with Physics?"40

She may have been out of her mind, but she was most certainly intelligent. The class agreed with that assessment and erupted in laughter. Mr. Wilty, however, was not amused.41

"Megan, go to the office," he snapped.42

No teacher liked to be made a fool by one of their students, even if she had nearly aced his last test (Megan had said nearsightedness arose from bitter demons lingering in the back of people's eyes, tinkering with incoming light waves out of spite).43

Despite being yelled at, Megan continued to sit in her seat, glancing around at her fellow students as if she couldn't understand why this silly Megan was not listening to her teacher.44

"This is your last warning, I suggest you do as I say," said Mr. Wilty, steam pouring out of his shriveled ears.45

"Me?" said Megan, pointing to herself for emphasis. "You didn't give me a first warning."46

"I just told you to go to the office," said Wilty, his tone teetering on insanity.47

"You sent Megan to the office. That's not my name."48

The class was acting as if laughing gas was seeping through the heating vents.49

"Oh no?" said Mr. Wilty, a bitter calmness coming over him like the eye of a hurricane. "Please enlighten me of who I'm speaking with, then."50

"My name is Squirrelly, the fabulous squirrel hero," said Megan, and half of the students fell out of their seats.51

Later that day, Megan was sitting under the cool shade of an apple tree next to the football field, deeply involved in her comic book and smiling as she was was thwarting an acorn robbery.52

Her principal, a short and stern looking woman with thick glasses and a face reminiscent of a bulldog, had been distraught to learn of Megan's odd behavior in the classroom. She had already excused Mr Wilty for the day for having an ulcer attack, and when she had tried to summon Megan the girl through her harsh authoritative tone, she had met resistance from the four-legged rodent with two legs. She then had attempted to reach Megan's mother, but after several attempts had failed, she had no choice but order Megan to wait outside her office for the time being.53

When Megan had taken her seat, she couldn't help notice how wonderful the weather had been as the bright, luring rays of sunlight had poured against the bleak windows right across the hallway from her. It had been enough to conquer her will power, so soon the fizzling light panels in the ceiling had been replaced by clear skies, rays of vitamin D and wandering bumble bees. She then had made her way across the football field armed only with her comic book under the arm of her yellow t-shirt, had found the soothing shade of the tall apple tree, and had plumped down under it.54

The stark aroma of rotting fruit in the crisp aroma of grass was waltzing in Megan's nostrils. There was a stiff breeze in the air, which was currently disrupting her concentration as it blew the paper thin pages in her lap. As she was trying to compensate for this annoyance by pinning the pages with her elbows, a group of jocks loitering next to the walls of the school spotted her. They were wearing their school colors of red and white, and had decided that fourth period would be better spent hanging outside.55

These jocks were considered some of the most popular students in the entire school, which earned them the right to belittle anyone they wanted too. With Megan in their crosshairs, they decided that she would make a worthy target to have fun with. Of course, what that meant was they were going to have fun at her expense, because the rumor of her actions in her physics class had circled the popular veins of the school. With a hearty group laugh, the jocks set off in her direction.56

Megan was certainly not a member of the gossip circle, having no real friends of her own. Her behavior in general was not the cup of tea that her peers enjoyed, finding her taste rather peculiar. This didn't bother her, however, since all the companionship she needed was in other worlds. Right now, there were several porcupines and rabbits in the magical forest who needed her abilities, so there simply wasn't time to make ordinary human friends.57

Also, the strengths she had learned from her hero worshiping would at least help her against the group of egotists approaching. Her counter in any situation, whether she felt fear, annoyed or otherwise displaced, was sarcasm. To her, conceited jocks were nothing but hollow frames of confidence that protected their fragile inner children, so sarcasm was especially effective.58

The jocks walked towards her, their chins above parallel to the ground as if to say that everyone was breathing an inferior air to them. One of the boys even had his peck cupped with his hand, because that's where the school letter was and he had to make sure that everybody knew he was a big part of it at all times. A finger on his free hand was also pointing to the letter for further emphasis.59

"Hello Squirrelly, eat any nuts lately?" said a sturdy boy with bleached blond hair.60

The rest of the group broke into laughter except the boy with his peck cupped. He was too busy brushing off the invisible dirt on his school letter.61

"Leave me alone," said Megan.62

"This girl must swim in nutella," said another boy with locks of curly brown hair, but nobody laughed.63

"Man, that was stupid," said the boy with bleached blond hair, turning to his friend.64

"Oh, and asking her if she ate any nuts is funny? That's so clichéd," replied the curly haired boy.65

"You laughed, didn't you?" said the blond haired boy.66

"Ya, but that's when I thought we were supporting each other," he replied, hanging his head and frowning.67

"Boys, do you mind?" said Megan, who had read over the same line three or four times already as the jocks had argued.68

The boy with bleached blond hair hit the curly haired boy on the shoulder and offered a grin as if to say that all was forgotten, and that it was time join forces once more. The curly haired boy perked up in attention and grinned back. The boy cupping his peck was more interested in a couple ladies who were passing by, so he took off to tell him about his winning touchdown from the other day. The rest of the boys were the followers, ready to laugh on command at whatever their leader said.69

"So... Megan... Squirrelly, whatever you prefer. I was wondering if you could give us a demonstration of your powers," said the blond haired boy with as much phony kindness as he could muster. The rest of the group put their hands to their mouth to suppress their grins.70

"No superhero uses their power pretentiously," said Megan without taking her eyes off her booklet.71

The boys shot each other sideways glances. They were used to words such as run and fetch, like on the football field. Never were they faced with such daunting words.72

"No no no, I don't want you to pretend, I want to see you use them for real," responded the blond haired boy.73

The rest of the boys nodded along like loyal puppies.74

"That's not what that means," said Megan.75

"Oh?" said the blond haired boy.76

"Shouldn't you be off stuffing some kid in a locker?" said Megan in frustration.77

"Listen," said the blond haired boy in his sweetest voice, kneeling down and putting his hand on Megan's shoulder.78

Megan shot him a devilish stare.79

"I respect... no admire your incredible talents. I wish I could bolt up a tree as easily as you, but I can't. It would really make my day if you could just give me a little demonstration, nothing major. You wouldn't do this for your number one fan?"80

"Yeah, we're all big fans," said the curly haired boy, figuring this was the perfect time to establish himself as one of the leaders of the group again.81

The loyal followers were all looking the other way, their faces red and their heads shaking from silent laughter.82

"I'm sure you are," said Megan, swatting the blond haired boys hand off her shoulder like it was some intrusive insect while staring the curly haired boy directly in the eyes. "After all, I must smell like a mixture of hazelnut and cocoa from all that swimming I do,"83

The curly haired boy gulped and hung his head, while the rest of the followers exploded like a balloon with too much air, unable to hold back any longer. Half of them were laughing at Megan, because she really was the biggest loony they had ever met, and the other half were mocking the curly haired boy for being put in his place by the biggest loony they had ever met.84

The blond haired boy wasn't laughing with them, and was instead furious that he wasn't able to ruffle Megan's feathers. He wasn't used to being outsmarted, because anyone who had ever attempted such a foolish stunt had met the cusps of his knuckles. Unfortunately for his ego, he couldn't hit a defenseless girl. Instead, he barked out an order in a vicious tone.85

"Common gang, let's leave this loser to her freakish thoughts."86

"Yah, what a freak," said a chubby boy follower with hair as red as oozing lava.87

The jocks took off back towards the football field, but the incident still burned a hole of shame in the blond haired boy's pride. To redeem himself, he thought of a plan to reestablish his bolstering testosterone. He couldn't let Megan get the best of him, even if she had won the battle. The war would be his.88

For the most part, the football field was empty except for a wiry freshman and his pimple-faced friend, who were throwing a Frisbee around after getting out of class early. They were just minding their own business, laughing as innocent youth tend to do in a windy game of Frisbee, when the captain of the jocks approached them. Without even a proper greeting, he threatened the insignificant freshmen to do his bidding. He ordered them to toss their Frisbee into the branches of the apple tree, the very same one that Megan was sitting under. The freshmen, intimidated by the size and power of the upper-year jock, agreed to do it. They weren't particularly keen on spending the rest of their high school careers in the jock's locker with all his smelly equipment.89

In addition to the strange request, the jock gave the freshman a couple of lines that he was to feed Megan, once the Frisbee was in the tree. Naturally, the freshman didn't understand the point the lines, because he hadn't heard the rumors that were going around the school. He wasn't a prominent member of 'the loop' yet, so he figured he must be on the butt end of a joke as he prepared to execute the plan.90

Once the seeds were planted, the blond haired boy returned to his loyal gang and commanded them like usual.91

"Common, everybody huddle in and pretend we're talking."92

They formed a semi-circle in the middle of the football field with a perfect view to the show. The only thing they lacked was a bucket of buttered popcorn.93

"This is so hilarious," said the curly haired boy.94

"Do you think she'll do it?" asked the chubby boy and his fire hair.95

"Of course she will, she actually thinks she's a friggen squirrel," said the blond haired boy, looking smug.96

"I heard that last week, she thought she was a dwarf with a magic ring," said the curly haired boy.97

"What an absolute weirdo," said one of the other followers who had a head shaped like a watermelon. There was just a smidgen of white fuzz on the top of his head and chin.98

"It's sad really, that she acts so pathetic at her age. My six year old sister is more mature," said the blond haired boy. Then, only a moment later, he started jumping up and down, squealing like a pig with a new pile of mud to play in. "Oooh look, they're about to do it."99

The freshman thought it stupid that he just simply walk up and toss the Frisbee into the tree, so he enlisted the help of his friend to make it look like he was going for a long catch. "I'm open," he said, attempting to sell his act as he bolted towards Megan. When his friend tossed the Frisbee over his head and into the highest branches of the apple tree, the freshman yelled back, "That was the worst throw I've ever seen."100

Startled, Megan peaked up from her booklet adventure with curious eyes and saw the skinny frame of the freshman standing there, staring up into the tree with a saddened expression on his face. When the freshman noticed Megan looking his way, he spoke the lines that he was forced to say. It certainly wasn't oscar worthy.101

"Oh my, what ever am I to do?" said the freshman, sounding almost sarcastic. "My Frisbee is in the tree, and I'm too weak to climb up there and get it myself."102

Megan put her book down onto the grass and got up. She brushed off the dirt from the rear of her jeans and emerged into the sunlight, failing to to notice the group of jocks staring at her from the distance. The golden rays bounced off her pale skin as she glanced into the swaying branches, searching for the saucer amongst a barrage of rotten apples. It really wasn't any different than looking for UFOs in the milky way, which she had been obsessed about for at least a fortnight after watching E.T.103

"I can get that for you, sport," said Megan with a smile, once she had made first contact with the saucer.104

"Thanks," said the freshman.105

"Anytime."106

The freshman, who almost blew away in a blustering wind gust, was more than nervous. The Frisbee was really high up there, right where the branches were thin and far between. He didn't understand the motive behind having a girl climb a tree, and he most certainly didn't want her to get hurt because of it. However, he expected her to give up after a few feet and come down, so he wouldn't intervene just yet. The jock's had big muscles, after all.107

"Be careful," whispered the freshman quietly, glancing over his shoulder to make sure the jocks didn't hear.108

"This won't be a problem for a squirrel like me," said Megan with confidence.109

"Yeah..." said the freshman.110

He wasn't sure if she used the rodent as an analogy or if she actually thought she was a squirrel.111

Megan climbed onto the first branch, but it was hardly at super speed. She grunted and wheezed, sweat trickling down her round cheeks, determination etched in the contours of her forehead.112

The freshman gulped, she was going higher than he expected.113

By the time Megan was a quarter of the way up the tree, she was out of breath entirely. The freshman couldn't take it anymore. He moved right beneath her under the tree and spoke in his loudest whisper."114

"Come down, you'll never make it."115

"No... reality is a prison," said Megan, gasping. "I must break free."116

The freshman was more confused than ever. When he looked over to where the jocks were standing, he noticed that half of them were rolling around on the grass in laughter, while the others were giving each other high fives. The blond haired boy was standing there, his arms crossed, with a look of utter satisfaction.117

"Listen, I think that those jocks set..." the freshman began to say, but he stopped mid sentence in horror. Megan had reached for a thin branch, and it had snapped in two. 118

The poor freshman had only two options in the face of impeding acceleration. The first involved breaking Megan's fall, which would ultimately snap him in half. The second was as simple as taking a quick jump backwards. Naturally, the latter was played out as he ducked out of the way of Megan's ten foot free fall, watching her hit the grass with a mighty thump. The shocked jocks - once again led by the blond haired boy - darted away like a group of cowards, leaving the freshman to deal with the situation on his own. Even his pimple-faced friend scurried away.119

He leaned down and felt Megan's cold face, feeling an incredible surge of guilt for being a pawn in their terrible ploy. The girl wasn't moving, and he thought he had heard a faint crack when she had landed.120

"I'm going to get help," he whispered, just in case she could hear his quivering voice.121

Without further hesitation, he sped off towards the school. The gusting winds seemingly lifting him into the air as he ran, leaving poor Megan to play the role of tragic fruit in Newton's apple tree.122


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Chapter 2 - The Big Bang124


Megan was lying on her left side, drooling all over the cool grass under the shadows of the impregnable tree. At first, she couldn't understand where she was. The background noise of chirping birds and swirling winds were all lumped together, as if she were listening to it in a confusing dream. But slowly, her head started to throb more vigorously, disturbing the chaotic harmony of the whooshing melody like a boy with his first set of drums.125

The beating of her temples awakened her other dormant senses, starting with the unique scent of grass being wafted into her nasal passage. Her brain processed this information, and then shipped out commands to her resting fingers.126

After a few test wiggles, they accepted the brain's orders of exploration and set off on their promising mission. In only a matter of seconds, a couple fingers struck land. They found a sleek and pointy blade of grass and placed it between Sergeant Thumb and Private Pinky, who slowly raised their flag up the green flag pole. Now that they had conquered the new land, they sent word back to the brain that they had discovered a patch of grass.127

With this knowledge, the brain sent word to the rest of the units in the body, informing them that they were no longer in the tree, but lying in the grass underneath it. The eyes couldn't believe that the fingers had discovered this without their help, so they opened up nice and wide in surprise. Sadly, they confirmed the painful deduction.128

'How could I fall', thought Megan sadly.129

Although she felt a searing pain burning underneath her skull, she was a tough enough girl from all the times she had battled monsters in her living room, so she managed to lift her head off the ground. There was a mixture of dirt and spit decorating the left side of her squished face, and a stray piece of grass fell into the corner of her half-opened mouth. Pursing her lips, she spat wildly to dislodge the cow food off her tongue, fearing that it would get stuck in her appendix. The last thing she needed was to have a stabbing pain in her stomach, and she didn't like the idea of relying on a human to remove parts of her body, particularly when the appendix tube was so valuable to her. She swore she had one time stored a valuable treasure map in there, and hence didn't accept the scientific opinion that it was a useless organ.130

Once she had wiped her face with her right arm (she still felt like she could use a shower), she checked to make sure the rest of her body was unharmed before she stood up.131

She shook her legs, first the left, then the right. Then she wiggled her toes one at a time in her white running shoes, all the while rolling her neck in jerky circles. Other than a large reddish bruise on the side of her left upper arm (incidentally she had landed on and cracked a dry twig), some stiffness and a pounding headache, she was good to go. It was rather lucky, considering where she had fallen from, but Megan had a different opinion.132

She was disappointed by her lack of powers, knowing that Squirrelly would never have fallen out so easily. As delusional as she could be at times, her rational mind was always churning, bringing her back to reality like the ultimate party pooper. Lately she could even manage to banish her common sense into her subconscious mind, but it would always resurface when it mattered most. Sometimes it took something drastic, such as falling out of a tree, just to remind her that gravity would always win against a mere human.133

There was just something so appealing about being a hero, that she couldn't bear to live her ordinary life anymore. As a human, she felt like a walking zombie amongst many, powerless and insignificant in every way. She couldn't imagine living a life of loneliness in a world with too many rules to guide it. It was these types of thoughts that she tried to suppress, searching for a place where her life would have meaning, a world where others would lean on her shoulder for support. And was it too much to ask to have super speed as well?134

Since her mind was so focused on analyzing her recent tumble, her feet were forced to choose a path for her. She was only partly aware of the sliding scenery as she walked across the empty football field and around the rickety school to the front of the building. By the time she had reached the public sidewalk that zigzagged towards the downtown area, the wiry freshman was back at the apple tree with the angry principal, staring mystified at the squirrel comic book that Megan had left behind.135

While Megan was walking along the lonely sidewalk, checking out each and every crack and hoping that an ant would come out and ask her to tango, a strange and dark voice whispered out to her from the back of a long alleyway between a few shabby buildings. The downtown area had long been run down from the big business superstores opening near the suburbs, which made many local business' close up or avoid expensive repairs on their rough exteriors.136

"Megan."137

Megan stopped in her tracks. She wondered if she was just hearing voices, which wouldn't be unnatural for her, but she could have sworn she heard her name. The chilling alleyway was too dark to see all the way to the back, however, but she wasn't one to pass so easily on a potential adventure.138

"Who's there?" asked Megan, her curiosity swimming amongst the butterflies in her stomach.139

"Come back and find out."140

Megan rolled her eyes.141

"Do you think I'm stupid?"142

"No Megan, I don't."143

There was her name again.144

"How do you know who I am?"145

"I've been watching you."146

Megan could feel her heart pounding, but her legs wouldn't move.147

"Listen creep, I'm not interested."148

"Oh? I think you will be, once you've heard what I have to say."149

Cardinal rule number one, never talk to strangers. It was the first thing any parent, whether responsible or not, told their children when they went to their first public place together. But Megan didn't like to play by the rules, particularly when the voice was as intriguing as it was distressing.150

"Who are you?" said Megan.151

"An eternal being from another dimension, but my name isn't important for now."152

Normally, such a statement would cause a ruckus at the loony bin, but there was nothing odd about it to Megan. In fact, it was just enough to bring life back to her shaking legs. Gradually, one foot went in front of the other towards the voice in the darkness.153

"Another dimension huh? Why should I believe you?"154

"Because you want to believe me, isn't that enough?"155

Of course it was enough, except for the throbbing in her head that was trying to remind her otherwise.156

"Why have you come here?"157

"I came from Deminity in search of the next hero. My compass led me right to you."158

Her feet were moving a little quicker now.159

"Me?...a hero?"160

"Yes Megan, it's your destiny."161

"A compass told you all that?"162

"It doesn't lie."163

She was approaching the voice.164

"I'm more than interested."165

"I knew you would be."166

For a brief moment, she felt like she was floating outside herself, leaving her human body to deal with the sweaty palms, tingling stomach and pounding heart, but she was sucked back inside her quivering self once she stood before the one with the dark and luring voice. Although her eyes weren't fully adjusted to the darkness of the alleyway, she could see that his entire body was hidden by a dark cloak, right down to the hood that was covering his face. She gulped at his scary appearance, triggering a swarm of terrified, microscopic geese to lay eggs under her skin, creating a patch of bumpy skin to protect their young. That was how she envisioned goose bumps to be made, anyway.167

"Great...it's the Grim Reaper," said Megan, her tone leaking with sarcasm to chase away the jitters in her voice.168

"I'm afraid I don't know who that is," said the Hooded Man.169

"The bringer of death."170

The Hooded Man laughed, the rhythm of it sounding hollow and deep.171

"You walked back here impulsively and full of trust, then doubt my intentions?"172

"I'm sorry," said Megan, feeling silly. He didn't have a scythe after all.173

"Only the weak apologize for their actions. We need you to be strong."174

"The beings of your world...Dem...em...ty..?"175

"Deminity. We are in grave trouble, I'm afraid. An arrogant tyrant has forced his rule upon us, imprisoning many of the Savior Seven - our peaceful senate - in a tortuous fate. He attacks all who dare to defy him with brutal measures. One is even considered a criminal for shooting at him with nothing but a dirty look. I chose to break all his rules and defied and mocked him for his coup on our government, so he tried to kill me in a fury. He obviously felt I was a threat to his unjust throne, but luckily I just got away in time. That was when I infused my compass with the last of my fleeting strength, asking it to direct me to the one who could bring an end to our suffering. I was surprised when it opened a gateway to another world, but I had no choice but to follow its instincts. It was a desperate hope...until I met you."176

Megan grinned from ear to ear, amazed that the compass chose her out of all the dimensions and beings.177

"Wow really..." she started to say, but she realized it was kind of rude to be beaming in her own glory, considering everything the poor Hooded Man had gone through just to get here, so she shook her head with disgust and sported her largest frown. "...I mean...gosh. That tyrant sounds really terrible."178

"It's O.K., I know it must be hard for you to contain the happiness you feel. We both know how much you suffer in this world. It doesn't deserve you."179

The fact that he could cut to the core of her so easily only strengthen her trust for him, but still she was curious.180

"How could you know that?"181

"I can see everything in this simple, one dimensional world."182

"It's three dimensions," said Megan, unable to help herself.183

"Perhaps that's how you conceive this world, but to one with an eternal mind, it might as well be a dot on a piece of paper. Everything here is so...drab. Even as I watch time flow around you, the pattern is monotone at best."184

"I know what you mean. I used to just stare at my watch for hours, wondering if I could speed up time... but it was so boring that I think I slowed it down instead."185

"I see."186

"Is it boring being eternal?"187

"No."188

Megan's pupils widened.189

"But you must be pretty old."190

"The effects of time are irrelevant. It does not age me, nor does it change at great speeds."191

He was beating around the bush, so Megan knew he was an old geezer.192

"Then why are you hiding behind a cloak. Are you sure there isn't a gray hair or two?"193

The Hooded Man sighed deeply, which prompted her to change the topic.194

"Would I become eternal in your world?"195

"I don't know, you would be the first mortal to ever go there. It's all mind over matter anyway."196

"... umm"197

The Hooded Man shuffled his feet. He was getting anxious to leave Megan's world, it was all very static and a hindrance on his weakened form. However, it was better to discuss such things here, where he couldn't be overheard. It was important she understood a few of the basics, or she wouldn't last a second in his hectic world. There was a fine line of how much information he would give her though, in case his plan was foiled.198

"Deminity is a land of belief," said the Hooded Man, choosing his words carefully.199

"Make believe...I knew it was too good to be true.'200

"No."201

"What did you mean then?"202

"Can you touch your sun here?"203

"Of course not."204

'In Dimenity, you could."205

That seemed unbelievable to Megan. No superhero had ever done that before, or at least none she had read about.206

"You're telling me I could go right up to the sun and slap it silly."207

"Only If you believe it beyond the absolute."208

"I absolutely don't believe you."209

"Well you better start, or you'll burn your hand off quickly."210

Megan laughed awkwardly and looked at her hands, trying to make sense of this bizarre information. It all sounded too easy, but maybe she hadn't understood him properly.211

"I really can't dwindle here much longer," said the Hooded Man, growing impatient. "Will you accept my plea for help?"212

There really wasn't much of an internal struggle. Did carnivores want meat? Do banks want to swindle their customers?213

"Of course I will," said Megan, overflowing with false confidence. "Just tell me exactly what I need to do."214

The Hooded Man smiled under his dark hood, but Megan couldn't see his excitement. It didn't matter if she had the eyes of an owl in the dark alleyway, nothing would penetrate the darkness of his hooded cloak.215

"Take this, then."216

He reached into a pocket on the outside of his cloak and brought his arm over Megan's outstretched palm. A glass ball about three inches in diameter rolled out of his sleeve and onto her hand. As her fingers clutched the ball in a soft grip, she let out a quiet yelp. It felt like thousands of frigid needles were poking at her finger tips.217

"What did you give me this frozen thing for?" said Megan.218

"The weird sensation will go away in just a second, it's just probing your hand so it knows who its new master is. I'm entrusting you with it for a while, you'll be a mess without it. It will guide you through the chaos and onto the right path. Just don't lose it, it could be too late by the time it comes back to you."219

"Thanks..." said Megan.220

The Hooded Man nodded.221

It reminded her of the time she had sat purposely on her hand to lull it to sleep, only to regret that decision a few minutes later when it had awoken in a fury. Now, if she would have done that same thing in the arctic circle, sitting on her bare hand in the snow, it would have been exactly the same feeling.222

She breathed warm air on her finger tips, and gradually the feeling of pins and needles went away. With the glass ball near her mouth, she decided to have a peek at it, so she lifted it up to her eye and could see bright misty air swirling on its inside.223

'What am I, a seer?' she thought. It certainly didn't look anything like a compass.224

"I can't find the arrows in this weirdo ball," said Megan sarcastically.225

The Hooded Man couldn't help but laugh at her confusion, but he returned to his serious state soon enough.226

"Don't worry about such things. The more you hold on to your past, the harder it's all going to be."227

She tried to understand what that could mean, but it made her head pound even harder than it already was, so she put the compass into the right side pocket of her jeans. It made her leg look rather unsightly, like she had some weird growth popping out of her skin. It was rather uncomfortable too.228

While Megan was rubbing the outside of her jeans unhappily, the Hooded Man whispered, "My past...It's all Silka's fault..."229

"What was that?"230

"Nothing, nothing at all."231

Megan was sure he said something, but she didn't feel the need to pry. There was something else on her mind anyway.232

"I have another important question."233

"Make it quick, this world is insufferable."234

"What's the evil tyrant's name? I don't want to be caught with my pants down when I see him."235

She decided she would have to stop using expressions she heard on TV about partying celebrities.236

"Won't say. There will come a time when both his name and mine are clear, I promise. Trust in the compass' judgment, you will know when the right moment arrives."237

"...and then-"238

"-Be yourself."239

"Which me?"240

Even her rational mind knew that Megan liked to believe herself a wide variety of characters, being the side of her that was always fighting to reinsert itself. The Hooded Man knew this all to well.241

"Regardless of who or what you hope you are, you're still Megan the girl. That will more than suffice."242

Her expression was dreary at best. Megan the girl had never demonstrated any heroic traits, which had been why she had so eagerly chosen others to mimic. But if all that was required was to believe in the impossible, then how hard could it be? If anything, the impossible was what she always believed in, or at least tried to. Besides, the Hooded Man was here to help her figure things out.243

"I guess I'll give being Megan a shot. I wasn't exactly good in the tree tops anyway."244

"Good," said the Hooded Man, sounding quite delighted. "But before we part ways, I -"245

"Part ways! - I hoped you would answer more questions along the way."246

The Hooded Man shuddered at such a notion. It was difficult to explain such common knowledge to an outsider, more frustrating than he ever thought it would be. He needed her, though, so he swallowed his irritation for the sake of his suffering comrades.247

"Listen. I could tell you everything there is to know, but you'll never understand until you experience them yourself. Plus, I'm afraid this mission will only work if you go alone. I will only blow your cover, and trust me, you don't want that."248

"That sucks."249

"Be confident," he said with emphasis, "and you'll manage."250

She stared at him blankly, her blue eyes cold and scared. She wished he would have just whisked her away without warning, like she had always imagined it would happen. At least then, her mind wouldn't be clouted with doubts from his vague answers.251

'Maybe all heroes feel anxiety before the unknown', she thought, which raised her spirits slightly.252

"To our last order of business..." said the Hooded man, reaching into his pocket once again. He pulled out a bright green bottle with a cork in the top and handed it to Megan. The jar itself was colorless, but there was a stunning, sparkling greenish gas on the inside that gave the jar its radiant color. "This is the gas of Myriad, taken from a divine nebula that is said to contain the essence of Deminity. It won't change who you are, nor will it make things easier once you get there, it will just awaken another sense inside so that you can perceive a world without limits. How you will manipulate the variables of the world once you can see it, is entirely on you."253

"I'm not even gonna ask," said Megan sarcastically, staring down at the bottle.254

In her hands was the symbol of the end of a lifelong search. Finally she would be free from all the silly rules, but still her hands were shaking as she supported the bottle with both her hands. It was the most illuminated green color she had ever seen, and by golly, she was going to do it. There was no way she could turn down this generous offer, it was win-win situation for all parties, except the tyrant she would gleefully beat up.255

Then, looking up, she started to say, "I guess I won't need my toothbrush...", but never finished her sentence. The Hooded Man was nowhere to be seen. "Huh..."256

She tried to walk around the alleyway to find him, but she couldn't move. Every time she tried to take a step, it felt like her legs weighed at least a thousand tons. Confused, she held the bottle in front of her and started to shake it. The green gas sparkled more. She then tried to set the bottle down on the ground so she could move around, assuming that gaseous bottle was somehow crippling her legs, but it was glued to her hands.257

"What the..." said Megan, flustered. "What a weirdo. I said I would help him. He didn't have to hex the bottle."258

In for a penny, out for a pound. She shrugged her shoulders and uncorked the bottle with all the courage of someone running into a scorching fire to save an eggplant, and wafted the sparkling green gas into her nostrils and mouth. The gas had a strange flavor to it, and Megan decided that it tasted exactly like egg yolk. As she gulped the mystical fumes down her throat, she started to panic, because all the saliva in her mouth was evaporated away, and it left her entire mouth and throat area brittle and dry. As the gas made its way into her lungs, she could no longer breath. Her lungs were dried out like prunes left out in the sun.259

"I'm...poisoned..." cried Megan, her voice crackling from the lack of oxygen.260

She fell to her knees, allowing the bottle to slip from her hands and drop to the ground. It shattered violently on impact, but there wasn't an ounce of greenish vapor left inside of it for this to be any concern. Gasping desperately, her free hands lunged for her throat as a natural reaction, but no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't draw a single breath. As the fumes made their way into her blood stream, the skin of her entire body began to turn a vibrant green, even the pupils of her eyes. She was glowing in the middle of the darkness, which would have scared any drug dealers had they decided to come back there in that moment.261

"...no..." she gasped, but it was barely a whisper.262

She couldn't believe she had been taken in so easily, particularly by one dressed like death. She promised she would never be fooled so easily again if she would survive, but by that point, the green fumes were already seeping into her brain through her greenish colored blood.263

Then something stranger happened.264

The gas collapsed and started spinning around her neural pathways. Her brain cells expanded like popping popcorn, exploding outward and enlarging the top half of her head. The pain and pressure was intolerable, like someone had opened up her noggin and tossed rocks in it. She wanted to scream as her eyes felt like they were about to be shot out of their sockets like a cannon, but she couldn't express herself vocally.265

And then, like magic, the shadows and walls of the alleyway began to spin wildly. She reached out weakly with one her hands, trying to stop the scenery from going in circles, but it was too late for prevention. The walls were being replaced by a variety of colors swirling around; the colors of a rainbow in fact. She felt dizzy as the blues and greens and yellows and oranges and indigos and violets and reds spun faster and faster and faster. Then a gateway opened and sucked her inside, pulling her through the rainbow vortex. She was barely conscious as her twisting and flipping body hurled towards the infinite.266


------------------------------------267

268

Chapter 3: The Blundering Mortal269


Megan could hear a distant buzzing sound as she lay on her side, her head resting on the cool grass. Her eyes were closed shut, and it all felt like she had just fallen out of a tree, as if deja vu had been playing a trick on her. She was too worn out and sore to deal with the peculiar situation, especially with the massive headache that was pestering her. It would all have to wait until she was ready to deal with it.270

But what was that pain on the side of her leg? It felt like she was lying on a round stone.271

Disgruntled and barely aware of anything but her own discomfort, she rolled onto her back and reached into her pocket. She grabbed ahold of the intrusive object inside and placed it away from her body. Then, smacking her parched lips together a couple of times, her conscious mind nearly punched its way to the surface, screaming to remind her of the lack of water in her body, but it was blocked out by a quick jab from her subconscious mind. While her consciousness attempted to recover, it kept Megan's brain active enough to remain in a semi-conscious state, so long as she remained unperturbed by further annoyances that could energize her consciousness, much like a protein bar could invigorate the muscles.272

It wasn't unusual for her conscious and subconscious mind to constantly wage war on one other, particularly when her body was fatigued in some manner. They would often trade painful blows and try to banish one another into the deep shadows of precarious brain waves. Naturally the consciousness was the stronger foe and would eventually win, but it was always a prize fight nevertheless.273

Much to the exhausted Megan and her subconscious mind's dismay, the buzzing sound continued to grow louder, so she turned back onto her side with frustration edged under her closed eyes. To block out the noise, she covered her left ear with her free hand, while the ground took care of the right.274

The sound wouldn't be denied so easily.275

"Stop..." whined Megan, her voice no more than a whisper, as if coming from a parallel dream.276

The buzzing came nearer still, which brought her beyond her breaking point. In her daze, she reached for the intrusive round stone that she had set down in front of her, blindly feeling around in the grass.277

Her consciousness was currently wrapped in a headlock, so it couldn't stop Megan as her hand made contact with the glass ball, gripped it, and then tossed it forcefully over her head, aiming to hit the one responsible for the irritation.278

The object missed its intended target and flew on by, and whatever was making the sound chased after it. Megan breathed a sigh of relief and settled into a more comfortable resting position. Maybe now she could get some peace.279

"bzzzZZZ..."280

The sound was coming back for her like a thirsty mosquito on a hot summer evening. It started poking at her curled back, oddly attracted to her yellow t-shirt.281

"Leave me alone," said Megan grumpily, pounding her fist on the ground. She had used to do the same thing at 6:34 am. That's when her alarm clock would go off for school.282

"I'll say, you aren't very appreciative."283

Megan's consciousness leaked through with a vengeance. She opened her eyes in surprise, and the bartender of human biology began to pour all her short term memories into her mind.284

Once the daze wore off, the first thing she did was reach frantically for her head, feeling around her forehead and ears to see if she still had a bowl of popcorn in her skull, but everything seemed to be in the right proportions. She was also relieved to see that her skin was no longer the color of Kermit the Frogs.285

'That Hooded Man and his stupid green gas', she thought angrily, but there wasn't time to dwell on it for now, not with all the other annoyances jockeying for position.286

First off the blocks was the stabbing pain that was ravaging her dry and brittle throat, whenever she happened to swallow. Out of curiosity, she swallowed again, and again, which was ultimately a stupid thing to do, but it fascinated her just the same.287

Following in behind was the constant buzzing sound in her ear, but her desire for water was slowing this annoyance down.288

Bringing up the rear was her headache, but that was a racer past its prime. Headaches had been an all too common thing lately, so it didn't have the fresh legs to keep up with the other two.289

As the race of annoyances progressed, dehydration was still leading the pack. She hoped that there was a water fountain near, but all she could see for miles ahead was a large empty field with blue grass and a blue sky littered with graying clouds. If there was water anywhere in the desolate plane, she couldn't see it, but how could she concentrate with all that constant buzzing in her ear?290

Just like that, the unpleasant noise took the lead as the prime annoyance, and thus Megan's concentration turned to figuring out this blaring disturbance.291

She had been in a stupor at the time of the poking, and she couldn't remember the voice exactly when she had woken up in a haste, but there was most certainly something buzzing behind her the whole time. It had the distinct sound of vacuuming, which was a silly notion. Nobody would ever vacuum a field.292

Knowing that lying on the ground all day wouldn't solve the mystery, she got up to her feet and turned around to investigate, but found only more of the droning blue grass.293

"That's odd," she said, swearing that someone was just behind her.294

Guessing that a trick was being played on her, she turned again in a hurry, hoping to catch the sneaky bugger. She was foiled again, playing the fool to perfection.295

"Who's making all that racket?" asked Megan.296

"If you insult me one more time, I'll turn up my setting and suck you right into my belly," said the voice again.297

It was definitely coming from her rear. This time, however, she felt a light sucking sensation move up her tingling spine, so she reached around in desperation and felt a handle. She grabbed ahold of it and tried to yank it off, but it wouldn't release its grip on her tasty shirt.298

"Hey! I'm not finished yet," said the voice.299

"This is my shirt," said Megan.300

"It's filthy."301

The whirling became more intense, sending shivers through her back.302

"Get...off..." said Megan, tugging as hard as she could.303

With a loud growl, the weird thing released its grip on her, which happened to be only the good news. The bad news was, with the force of her pull and the increased setting of sucking power, her shirt was ripped right from her body.304

Megan grabbed at her chest to cover herself up, standing there in nothing but a yellow bra and jeans.305

"Now look what you made me do," said the voice.306

"I'm the victim here," yelled Megan, turning to face the one who had stolen her shirt. She was shocked to see that it wasn't a person, but a talking vacuum. It had a short silver tube for sucking things up, and a small, rumpled blue bag where it stored sucked up things. The bag also doubled for its face. On it was a set of large, flat silver eyes that didn't blink and a square mouth in which it was talking with. She noticed how well its colors blended in with the blue field, but suspected he wasn't a good hunter with all the noise he made.307

"Don't worry, I can fix this. I'm fully equipped with reverse settings," said the vacuum308

It started to rumble and shake as it aimed its tube high into the sky, but nothing was coming back out of it. Something larger than the tube was lodged inside.309

"Uh oh...that yummy glass ball must have gotten dirt caked on it from my belly. It's stuck."310

"Glass ball?" said Megan, wondering why that sounded familiar.311

"The one you threw at me," cried the vacuum, its eyes steaming red.312

"The compass!"313

She reached down and frantically patted her jeans, but the compass was nowhere to be seen. A sickening feeling overcame her, and all the blood in her face seemed to vanish.314

Meanwhile, the vacuum's mouth was beginning to release loud clouds of dark smoke, looking like it was on the verge of exploding. He beckoned Megan to get out of the way, so she dove to the grass and buried her head in her arms. While her eyes were poking out, her gaze was momentarily transfixed on the bruise on her upper left arm (which had already turned a purplish blue color). Then something strange happened. The dark clouds of smoke floated towards her and began circling her body. Even stranger still was when they started raining water down on her. It was a blessing and a curse, but mostly the latter. Although she could feel the water splashing against the side of her face, the amount of water she could funnel into her mouth was just a tease, particularly since she was trying to protect herself at the same time.315

Coughing from its own rainy smoke, the talking vacuum managed to say, "Fire in the hole," as the dirty compass finally broke loose and shot far into the sky. Immediately following it was a ball of loose blue grass and Megan's yellow shirt. Unfortunately, the force of the previous blast had caused the vacuum to lose control of its tube, and it spun right in the direction of the cowering girl.316

Megan - who wanted to follow the compass' trajectory - lifted her head just in time to catch the patch of grass directly in her face, which stuck to her like glue because her face was soaking wet from the strange smoke clouds. The clouds were now empty and white and floating to join their fellow kind in the sky.317

"Pfft," said Megan, attempting to dislodge the grass from her mouth, which was an all too familiar taste by now.318

"I'm not used to reversing things out of me, usually they stay in my belly," said the vacuum, chuckling in amusement. "At least you got your shirt back."319

In that moment, with her grass-stained face and her soaked body, she was staring in horror at the yellow shirt that used to be whole and fresh. It now had various holes burned in it, and it was extremely dirty and wrinkled from being in the vacuum's filthy bag. She put it on anyway, because it was still better than standing there with nothing but a wet bra on. Besides, there was more pressing matters to address: a talking vacuum, her location and a missing compass to boot.320

"You can talk," said Megan.321

She realized how stupid that must have sounded.322

"So can you," said the vacuum.323

"What's going on?" said Megan, picking a piece of grass out of her teeth.324

"Just hanging out," said the vacuum.325

"I mean, what's the deal here?" she asked again, ringing out the water from her blond pigtails.326

"I wasn't aware we had an arrangement," said the vacuum.327

"No no," said Megan in frustration. "I'm talking about this place. Where are we?"328

"In a field," said the vacuum.329

She realized she had to rephrase her questions more specifically, so she calmed herself and tried again.330

"Yes, I can see that," she said, spinning and looking all around in a sarcastic display. "But is this what Deminity is? A giant field?"331

"It is what it is," said the vacuum, twirling its tube in the air.332

Megan sighed. He was as helpful as the vacuum she had in her house back home. It had been held together with duct tape and had taken three frustrating trips over the carpet just to get the dirt out. She supposed she would have to be equally persistent with this vacuum now.333

"Listen -"334

" - I was already doing that."335

"I know," said Megan in a matter-of-fact tone.336

"Did you?"337

"It was an expression. You are taking my words too true."338

"So what you say is false then? I don't like liars."339

"That's not what I'm saying!"340

"If that's false, then you just said, 'that is what I'm saying.'"341

"Fine. That is what I'm saying then."342

"I knew you were a liar."343

Megan growled something fierce, her eyes bulging out of her head. She reached for her aching temple with her hands and roughly massaged them. If the race of annoyances was a real competition, the headache would have been making a charge from the back of the pack. Sadly, few humans could live their lives without being annoyed in various ways, so the race would only come to an end when the breath of life would leave them.344

In the meantime, Megan had rubbed her skin raw with her palms. Once enough angst had exited her body, she was ready to attempt communication with the vacuum again. This time, she would do her best to project a kind persona, however fake it would be.345

"Could you please just help me find that round compass you launched into the sky?" asked Megan politely "It's really important to me."346

"No."347

"Why not?"348

"It couldn't have been important if you threw it at me."349

"Forgive me, I was delirious at the time," said Megan with a little laugh. "Rainbow vortexes aren't my thing."350

"Don't care."351

"Well," said Megan, her angry creeping back into her voice. "Considering you ruined my shirt, I think it would be the civil thing to do."352

"I was trying to do you a favor. Your shirt was all dirty from rolling on the ground."353

"But I told you to stop, and you kept doing it."354

"I'm a sucker for cleanliness," said the vacuum, eying her dismantled shirt. "I'd be happy to finish the job."355

"You've done enough damage, thank you," said Megan.356

The vacuum frowned.357

Megan knew she had a long search in front of her, the compass could be anywhere (if it's glass frame even survived the trip). She had already become disoriented with the direction it was shot, much like sailors in the middle of the ocean without markers to judge their course. The only thing she knew for sure, was that she had never been so thirsty in her entire life. Without adequate hydration, she didn't expect to make it far.358

"If you don't want to help me find the compass, fine. I would, however, appreciate it if you could point me in the direction of drinkable water."359

The vacuum looked muffled by such a request.360

"What's the fun in drinking water?"361

"I need it to survive, don't you?"362

"You're strange."363

Megan thought she understood his reaction for once. Just because humans needed water, didn't mean eternal beings from another dimension did as well. It was still strange to imagine a vacuum as eternal, but she supposed dwelling on her past reality wouldn't do much good.364

"Ha...well I'm a mortal from a different world. Our bodies need water."365

"I don't think I like mortals much," decided the Vacuum. "Water has no flavor."366

"You judge an entire species based on that?" asked Megan in bewilderment. At least she had reasonable arguments when she disliked someone.367

"Bland tastes, bland species."368

Megan had enough of the Vacuum's discourteous behavior and started to walk away, but he followed her, nudging the back of her ankles with his tube.369

"Yes?" asked Megan, looking over her shoulder at a set of flat, curious silver eyes staring up at her.370

"You didn't say goodbye," said the Vacuum with a vacant expression.371

"Didn't think you'd care," said Megan sarcastically.372

"I don't."373

Megan shook her head in disbelief and started walking again, but felt a familiar rap on the back of her leg.374

"What!" snapped Megan, turning right around to face him.375

"It's rude to walk away without closure," said the Vacuum, frowning.376

"Well I don't care what you think either," said Megan, playing its little game.377

"Rude mortal! You won't live this down!" said the Vacuum.378

Just like that, his buzzing sound came to a halt and his eyes closed shut, as if he had hit his off switch.379

"You've been equally rude!" cried Megan, but the Vacuum didn't rouse. Out of spite, she lifted up it's silver tube and dropped it. "Whatever. Have fun playing dead."380

As she took off in an unknown direction, she was replaying the bizarre conversation in her head, wondering what she could have done differently. Although the Vacuum had been infuriating in every way, she couldn't help feeling disappointed with how it all had gone. She had waited her entire life to meet a talking appliance, and then had blown her first impression once she had her chance. This was supposed to be her defining moment, the beginning of her quest as the ultimate hero. Instead, she had already made an enemy.381

'I should have asked his name first', she thought, secretly hoping to feel a tapping on the back of her leg, but there was nothing.382

It also bothered her that she didn't have a clue of where she was, which would have been fine if she wasn't stuck in an endless field. She wondered if this was what the Hooded Man had meant by a world without limits, and whether she was now destined to spend an eternity searching for a glass of water in a sea of blue grass.383

"Hooded Man? Where are you?" she asked out loud, hoping that he would just pop up and help her. Of course, she knew this would never happen. He had already warned her of the dangers she would face if he were to travel with her. It still frustrated her just the same. She also hadn't forgotten about the terrible trip through the rainbow vortex, furious that he had not given her proper warning about the tortures she would experience.384

As she lingered on negative thoughts, it only made her feel more depressed. Perhaps she wasn't being fair and was simply taking out her struggles on the Hooded Man. He had said that she would be the first mortal to come to Deminity. Maybe he hadn't known how painful the Gas of Myriad would be on her human body. She didn't even know if eternal beings could feel pain at all.385

If anything, the Hooded Man should be the angry one. He had given her a tremendous opportunity to come here, had entrusted much of his remaining power into his compass just for her, and she had repaid him by losing it right away.386

But it was lost in a dumb, pointless field. And the Hooded Man had called her world drab?387

Before the roller coaster of mood swings could dip back into despair, she forced herself out of it. It really didn't matter if the glass was half empty or half full, so long she was drinking it.388

"Be positive Megan, countless lives are depending on you. I'll find everything I need before long," said Megan out loud.389

She continued to stray in an aimless direction, her neck tightening with every painful swallow. The headache was really putting a damper on the positive thinking, and the only entertainment was the squishy sound of her own trudging feet.390

Her footsteps would crumple the grass, but the field had a strange elasticity to it. After only a few steps, the indentation of her running shoe would disappear, making it impossible for her to trace her tracks. The worst part of her search was that the scenery never changed, no matter which direction she looked. She wondered if she had made any progress at all. The ground remained perfectly flat, every blade of blue grass was the same height and the grayish clouds remained in the exact same position, as if they were floating along at the exact speed and direction she was. She didn't think it was a funny joke if that was the case, but many of the clouds in the sky were having a good laugh about it.391

Finally, after what seemed like an hour of pure agony, her psyche cracked.392

"How do I discern a compass in a field with no conclusion?" she yelled, dropping to her knees and pulling vigorously on her blond pigtails.393

She was so thirsty that she didn't know what she was going to do with herself. It felt like she was in the middle of the desert, only it wasn't particularly hot and there wasn't a grain of sand in sight. It did feel like she was starting to imagine things though, because when she blinked her fatigued eyes, she could have sworn she saw a large purple pond appear in the distance where grassy field had been before. Whether it was just a trick of the eyes or not, it was worth using the last of her strength to inspect.394

Now that she was on her knees, she didn't have the energy to get back onto her feet, so she crawled at a snail's pace towards her suspected mirage. Ironically, while she was lazily propelling herself forward with her collapsing arms, she noticed a snail beside her in the blades of grass. It was the first sign of life she had seen since the Vacuum, so she attempted to grab it in her hand to get a closer look, but the snail stuck out its tongue, mockingly winked, and then blew past before she could snatch it up. A tiny cloud of dust erupted from the rear of the snail and went directly into her nostrils.395

She stood up at once in an unmeasurable fury, and started to run as fast as she could towards the purple pond, coughing and sneezing the entire way. Her destination was so envisioned in her mind that she completely ignored a wooden sign that read: 'Caution: Do Not Drink,' in big red letters sticking out of the ground.396


---------------------------397


Chapter 4: Sweet Tooth in the Deep Purple398


Megan's burst of adrenaline quickly died like the flame of a match by the time she reached the shore of the purple pond, falling face first into the soothing cool liquid. It was either the best dehydrated hallucination she could ever have, or it was the most amazing real pleasure she had even known, and quite frankly, she didn't care which was true. To her astonishment, the pond was not only drinkable, but it tasted like her favorite beverage of all time - grape juice.399

"This grape juice pond is incredible," she said in triumph, drinking down gulp after gulp of precious, wonderful juice. "Finally a stroke of good luck."400

She continued to drink the pond at a vigorous pace, and the succulent taste of real grapes danced atop her taste buds. Her body welcomed the nutritious vitamins and refreshment that the juice provided. It washed away her rippling headache, and built strength in her depleted muscles.401

It wasn't even an issue that her skin and clothes were started to stain as she lied in the juicy pool, and it certainly wasn't an issue that her belly was expanding to five times its normal size. Her mangled shirt had lifted above the hanging belly as it expanded outwards, and slowly the grape juice in the pond receded with every gulp she took.402

What she didn't realize was that the pond was highly addictive, particularly to thirsty mortals who weren't accustomed to eternal pleasures, so once she had swallowed a single drink of it, it had corrupted her mind completely.403

"This juice, it's all mine," said Megan with an evil look of triumph on her face. She even began to foam slightly out of the corners of her mouth, much like a dog with rabies.404

Soon her belly was ten times its size, and still she kept drinking away. The taste was still incredible.405

At fifteen times its size, she started to feel a slight ache in her belly, but she couldn't stop now, even as the taste lost its luster.406

At twenty times its size, the pond was nearly half gone. Her belly was hoping that she would stop soon, but the traffic light in her head was still green.407

At twenty-five times its size, she let out a massive groan. She closed her eyes, and tried to turn away from the cool liquid, but still she drank from the corner of her mouth.408

When her belly was a massive thirty times it size, she looked like she was pregnant with a dinosaur inside her. She had a massive stomach ache, the juice no longer had any distinguishable taste, but it all didn't matter. The juice was there, her mind wanted more, and she desired to be with it forever. All the worries she had about the Hooded Man had been tainted away, and she could care less about his useless compass and his weak friends. She was the hero of Deminity, and as such, could do as she pleased.409

There was one who was napping at the bottom of the pool, unaware that somebody had been stealing his precious home. However, he had an alarm built into his body, which would go off once his precious juice was halved. He didn't mind if passing travelers had a sip to regain their strength, particularly since most of the sugar was at the bottom of the pond, but he could only make grape juice so fast, so stealing too much was unacceptable. He also knew how addictive the juice was, since he was addicted himself, so he even took the liberty to warn those without the will to stay away. It wasn't his fault of what would happen if they chose to ignore his generous warning.410

When his alarm clock went off, which first flashed, 35007 51 604, then 378806 06, he awoke in a hurry and saw that there was very little left of his pond. He snarled in contempt and bolted towards the surface to confront the culprit, or filthy hogs as he liked to describe them (a hog had been the first to ever dare mess with him).411

As Megan continued to drink away, simply because she couldn't stop, she noticed an angry shark making its way up from the depths, directly on a collision course with her. She tried to swim away from the incoming predator, but her belly was now so large that she couldn't even move an inch.412

The shark rammed into her enlarged gut with its pointy face and popped a tiny hole in her. Megan gave a loud 'oof' sound as she started to drip tiny droplets of purple liquid like a leaky faucet. It had only been a warning shot.413

The shark then popped its head above the surface a few feet in front of where she was floating upright. Her legs were waggling helplessly in the depth of the pond and her arms were laying limp on the side of her body. Even if she could swim away, there was nowhere to go. The pond was shaped like a toilet bowl, and since she had already drank half of its contents, she wouldn't be able to reach the bank.414

She was taken aback when she saw his appearance, since he wasn't a regular shark at all. He did had the intimidating head of a shark, with dark hollow eyes, silver skin, a wide mouth with an array of deadly, pointy teeth and bloody colored gums. He also had a long, sleek and silver tail like a shark, which looked so sharp that she thought he could behead her with it.415

His body was a different story all together. Instead of a long, sleek muscular body with organs, flesh and bones, there was a giant, grayish calculator in its place. It was think and cylinder shaped with a couple fins sticking out of it, metallic in design, and the console with all the numbers and symbols where the shark's back should have been. It had all the regular mathematical functions on it and was obviously liquid proof. The output screen was long and narrow, and looked like it could calculate up to a hundred digits at a time.416

Although she normally would have been scared by a fearsome beast such as this, due to his snapping teeth and fierce garlic breath as he snarled at her, her addiction was effecting her judgment. She decided that he was even odder looking than the talking vacuum she had encountered earlier.417

"So are you a shark with a calculator? Or a calculator with a shark?" she asked sarcastically.418

"I'm the greatest appliance predator you will ever meet," said the calculator-shark, snarling ferociously.419

Megan, who was full of unknown confidence, laughed undauntedly. Her face scrunched together in depraved perversion, reflecting the inner seduction of a purple power that had consumed her morality.420

The calculator-shark didn't appreciate her mockery and snorted in rage, shooting foul garlic out his beady nostrils.421

"You sound upset," said Megan.422

"You filthy hog," he spat. "You drank my home away."423

"I didn't think it would be any trouble to have a drink or two," said Megan grumpily, her belly hanging grossly from her body.424

"A drink or two? A DRINK OR TWO?" he said in disbelief, looking around at the depleted pond.425

"What's your problem? I was thirsty," said Megan, and she lifted part of her huge belly above the pond's surface. She heard the sound of the leaking juice splatter on the top of the pond, so she put her finger over the puncture wound to stop the juice from escaping.426

"I'm 'thirsty' for the blood of an inconsiderate little hog," he said, baring his deadly teeth.427

"Don't make your grape juice so available if you don't want others to drink it."428

"I'm 'available' to make you suffer."429

"That's real intelligent of you - use intelligent in a sentence next. You probably don't know what it means though," said Megan, sweating from holding her own body weight. She then gave up and allowed it to drop, watching it make a wild splash as it penetrated the wavy surface.430

"Oh... I've heard about you. You're that mortal with an attitude problem -"431

Her crazed expression stretched across her face as her eyes widened in surprise.432

"- The vacuum told me all about you earlier."433

"He did, did he?" said Megan, wondering how a vacuum with no wheels or legs could have beaten her to the pond. There had been no indication of anything moving when she had been walking, and she could see for miles around. Nevertheless, she was mad with the Vacuum and his blabber mouth, so she added, "Well that emotional bucket of bolts ruined my perfectly good shirt. "434

"How dare you insult my friend," he said, baring his teeth again. "I'll rip you to shreds."435

"Oooh I'm so scared of the wittle, weeny sharky and his multiplication button," said Megan, rising to the challenge. The beauty of being under the influence was the fearlessness that was driving her, which was one way to summon power in Deminity. How could a man-eating predator hurt her, the great hero? Besides, once she destroyed him, the magical grape juice would be hers forever.436

The utter defiance of Megan pushed the calculator-shark past his anger threshold437

"I'll divide you to pieces!"438

He opened his massive jaws and darted at the plump, gluttonous sitting duck. There really was nowhere for her to run or swim now, she was too bloated to move an inch. All she managed to do when the furious shark attacked was hold her arms around her face, in order to prevent him from taking her swollen head. Instead, it targeted her wiggling belly, clamping down roughly on her rubber skin with his sharp teeth.439

Miraculously, even as his penetrating choppers ripped through the elastic flesh surrounding the front of her stomach, it didn't hurt Megan at all. She was filled with too much confidence, fueled by the mystical properties of the grape juice, to let such trivial things as shark bites bother her. All she was focused on was defeating him, and would do whatever it took to win.440

The calculator-shark smiled mischievously as he held her tummy in his mouth, tasting a smidgen of his missing juice that was inside. He then bolted away, yanking her gut with him in an attempt to reclaim his trophy.441

She managed to grab ahold of a fin on the side of his body as he made his retreat, although it was difficult to hold on to his slippery smooth exterior. Even if she were to lose her grip at this point, her gut was so big and hung so far from the rest of her body, that she would be like a fisherman being dragged along the water by a giant fish. However, In this case, the fish would be a shark, and her gut would be the fishing line.442

Furious that Megan was not giving up, the calculator-shark dove deep into the pond's depth, hoping that her lungs would be purged of air and that her eyes would buckle under the pressure. Initially, his plan was causing some discomfort to Megan. The juice was stinging her eyes, but she chose to keep them open and suffer rather than blind herself from a potential chance to get the upper hand. It wasn't long before the determination that burned so deep in her veins overcame this obstacle as well, fooling her mind into forgetting the perils of deep pool exploration without scuba equipment. Although she wasn't breathing in her blind fury, she wasn't gasping hopelessly for air either. Even the stinging went away after a few moments, as if her eyes were adapting to the situation.443

Relentless, the calculator-shark bit deeper into her stomach, but as he did so, the juice began to pour out the widened bite holes like a waterfall, sending a large surge of the liquid into his throat and catching him entirely off guard. He unclasped his teeth from her stomach as he gagged feverishly, allowing Megan a small window of opportunity. Still clutching the fin with her life, she saw her stomach deflating as the juice exited her body. Once it was back to its normal size, she was no worse for wear, save a few ugly and open teeth wounds that was causing the skin on her belly to flap. However, there was no time to worry about such nuisances, not when she had all the grape juice to win back.444

Now she was mobile again, she pulled herself along the fin and onto the side of the roundish and metal frame of the calculator-shark's body. With one arm barely clutching the top of his back and the other reaching under its curved belly, the immediate problem at hand was to get in a better position before being eaten. The pond was much deeper with the release of all the juice, and the calculator-shark was angrier than ever as it regained its composure. It wasn't enough for him to simply get his pond back anymore, his entire honor was at stake. He wanted the rude mortal to suffer for her insolence, and for the vacuum's sake as well.445

Before Megan could take further advantage of the situation, the calculator-shark had expelled the last of the excess juice in his throat and was yet again on the prowl. In an attempt to dislodge her so he could devour his prey, he started doing twists, turns and flips near the bottom of the pond.446

Megan didn't know how long she could maintain her grip, feeling the tips of her fingers slipping along the cylinder body.447

'Once he's gone, I could live in this pond', she thought feverishly, which was motivation enough.448

Back came her second wind, pushing her to not only re-grip, but pull herself right onto its back. She noticed that she was now lying directly on top of where the input buttons for the calculator was, but she didn't have a clue of what these buttons would do. On the output screen, it read: '604 378806', which she promptly cleared with the 'C' button (she didn't like being called a hog, after all). Then she tried to press a button at random, which happened to be the number nine, but nothing happened.449

"You won't slow me down," laughed the calculator-shark maliciously, who could talk under liquids. He dove quickly in another attempt to rid of her, but still she kept her hold. "Just give up, and I promise I'll chew gently,"450

She pressed the negative sign and then hit the number nine repeatedly, hoping that a large negative number would foil him, but still the calculator-shark moved at a frantic speed. Then she tried to multiply it, square it, add some extra zeros, but nothing worked. All she was getting on the screen was the largest negative number she had ever seen. Frustrated, she saw a button that said 'hyp', and when she pressed it out of desperation, the shark accelerated into hyper speed. She knew that the 'hyp' button on a calculator had something to do with the changing of trigonometry functions, which she had no doubt read out of boredom somewhere, but the calculator-shark had obviously rigged it as a trick button.451

The boost of acceleration was too much for her to handle. She was thrown off the calculator-shark's back into the pond's depths, completing a series of loopy somersaults along the way that rippled the purple juice around her.452

The calculator-shark reached the other side of the pond in a hurry, and with a sharp, calculated turn, he doubled back to where she was sinking. The hyper speed boost wore off at the beginning of his return trip, but he was still swimming savagely at her, lining up his path to intercept. His mouth was drooling with anticipation. It would be too easy for him now, the victory lap was his.453

As she tumbled along from the momentum, she managed to slow herself down by flapping her arms wildly around her. It was too late, however. She could see the calculator-shark approaching in a hurry.454

'Common think, how do you fool a calculator...' thought Megan, but her brain was becoming all fuzzy at the thought of becoming shark bait. The initial confidence that had been flourishing inside her was starting to fade, and she was just remembering now that she hadn't taken a breath in a while. It wouldn't matter in a few moments anyway, once she was eaten.455

On the brink of death, she swallowed a few large gulps of the grape juice. She figured she might as well have a last conscious pleasure. Bubbles appeared around her stomach wounds.456

It kicked her back into gear. The grape juice was even more potent at the bottom of the pond from all the extra sugar.457

The crazed expression on her face returned, her thoughts cleared up in a heartbeat, worries of oxygen disappeared, and her mind re-focused on her goal - win.458

The calculator-shark barreled in close with a look of triumph on its face. He opened his jaws as wide as he could with his bloody gums bared, but just as he was about to eat Megan, she flattened her hands, kicked out her feet and thrust them downward. She rose just enough from her original position to be able to reach up with her arms and place the palms of her hand on the top of his long pointy face, and then she pushed them down on his head with all her might. As she was doing this, she flattened out her body as much as she possibly could, all the while spreading her legs so that they narrowly avoided his clamping jaws. This entire sequence allowed her to deflect him downwards just enough for her to zoom right over his head.459

As the calculator-shark swam underneath her in surprise, Megan clamped her legs together around his neck. He growled in anger when he had failed to taste her blood, but he hadn't expected such powerful moves from a weak mortal.460

Megan was now riding him like a wild bull, only backwards, but before she was throw off his slippery body, she reached out and grabbed a hold of the fins on the side of his back. With her anchor established, she looked like the giant letter Y with her arms as spread out as they were.461

'There's no time - I need a solution now.'462

As her words circled her mind like the winds of a tornado, the answer emerged from the center of the storm.463

'No time...zero! of course!'464

She swallowed a gulp of juice for good luck, rejuvenating all the strength in her arms and legs, and making more stomach bubbles appear. Then, she gradually pulled herself above the console on his back, absorbing the crafty maneuvers of her raging foe, who was desperately trying to shake her off.465

It didn't matter that she wasn't breathing at all. Facing his array of buttons, she was ready to deliver the final dagger. The console was upside down from her point of view, but it didn't take a genius to figure out the keys she was going to push.466

She hit the buttons [nine divide zero] in succession, and moved her eager finger over the equals sign.467

"Prepare to become undefined", said Megan, her confident sound waves penetrating the interior of the pond.468

She pressed the equals button hard, feeling her finger tremble under the pressure.469

'Error' appeared on the calculator's screen, causing it to spin out of control. Just as Megan let go off its body to get away - which had turned a bright red color - the calculator body exploded, sending her speeding towards the surface like a bullet. His pointy head, fins and tail were also shot away in all directions, destroying the snarling beast once and for all.470

Not only did the momentum of the blast carry her directly to the surface, but she also rocketed twenty feet into the air above the pond. A massive tidal wave of grape juice was following beneath her.471

"Now I've done it," said Megan when she reached the peak of her flight, knowing that she was about to go back down again.472

The calculator-shark had the last laugh in a way, because his explosion had ripped a large, deep hole in the bottom of the pool. The grape juice was started to go in circles around the drain like a flushing toilet, so when she and the tidal wave were making their free fall back to the surface, they were heading right for the bottom of the whirlpool. However, the tidal wave beat her to the drain and momentarily clogged the hole, causing a backlash of liquid.473

Megan hit the recoil of grape juice like a cannonball pounding through cement, making a mighty plunk as she soared under the surface.474

In the depth of the pond, there was a loud unclogging sound as the drain managed to gurgle and clear itself. In an instant, she was swept along with the current as the grape juice once again swirled around the edge of the toilet bowl pond.475

Her head emerged from the current just enough for her to say the only thing that bothered her about being flushed down a drain in a different dimension. It wasn't about getting farther from the compass she had lost, it didn't have anything to do with drowning, nor did she care what the purple pond would do to her hair.476

"Noooo...where is my precious succulent grape juice going?"477

Around and around she went with shorter revolutions on every trip around the drain, until she was very near the hole. Without even a chance to write her will, Megan was swept into the depths of the drain with a final surge.478

479

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481

Chapter 5: Hitting Rock Bottom482


Thus far her adventure in the world the Hooded Man had called chaotic had been exactly that. The reality was (if reality was really a befitting description), Megan hadn't even got her feet wet on the twists that were to come, with the exception that her feet were literally wet as she was swept through a twisting pipe underneath the pond. She didn't understand how a hole created from an explosion could have a perfectly designed pipe system attached to it, but she was quickly learning that nothing in Deminity had any logical discourse at all.483

It was completely dark around her as she rode the grape juice current like a water slide, the rumbling of the current roaring all around her in the enclosed pipe. She could feel her body being swept around tight corners, over bumps that sent her temporarily airborne, and up and around a series of loopy loops.484

On one of the more intense loops, she was upside down for so long that she could feel the blood rushing into her head. By the she had reached the top, she looked rather like a round faced tomato; the roots of it being her mangled and soaked pig tails. Unfortunately, before anyone had a chance to nibble her, the near vertical drop of the loop began, sending her hollow screams bouncing along the pipes.485

When she was making her way up a slight incline with her feet leading the way, she tried to get a mouthful of splashing drink as it rained down on her, but ended up getting a noseful instead. She didn't want to expel the grape juice once it was inside her, so she grimaced as it burned her nasal passage and behind her eyes. Once she managed to swallow it, however, all the pain went away. Nothing could beat getting her fix as a way to soothe the body.486

After going through what had seemed like an obstacle course, she was relieved that the pipe was leveling off, but it was still sloped downwards. She couldn't help but wonder if this entire pipe system was actually the insides of some strange monster, and that she would be properly digested soon. If she had been swallowed along with all of her juice, she wouldn't stand for it, not for a second. Surely she would claw her way somehow, if only she could see.487

Now that she was on a tame path, all Megan could do was wait to see what would happen next. Her body was soaked from the bottom of her socks to her highest hair follicles. She realized how cold and damp she really was, but she didn't mind the shivering so long as her stomach would be rewarded a purple treat later on.488

It wasn't for her to assume the worst was over, the pipe was lulling her to sleep after such a wild ride. Once her guard was down long enough for her heart to slither down from her throat and back into her chest, the monster (or so she called it) struck again.489

The pipe became alarmingly steeper, sending her plunging into the eclipse at a frantic speed. The juice was splashing all around her as she slid frantically on her back, but her mouth wasn't open to drink any of it. Her bottom lip was being sucked upwards from the downwards momentum, and it felt like her round chin was being pushed inwards between her clenched teeth. How odd she would look when the adventure was done, having a chin inside her mouth and her tongue fastened above it.490

The monster - bored with playing games - brought the tunnel to its end. It dropped off like the edge of a waterfall, sending Megan into its eager stomach. Her helpless cries descended into the darkness with it, creating a long, drawn out echo in the chasm around her. The fall was so long, that she needed to catch her breath between screams. It gave a whole new meaning to the term bottomless pit.491

As she wondered what on earth she could do, which was her first major mistake, the light of day had appeared below her. As she looked on, realizing that the monster must have expelled her for tasting bad (she even smelled her arm pits, but they didn't reek), a sorrowing sensation overcame her. She was still falling, yet daylight was approaching. What would happen to her purple stream of goodness? Would she be separated in the open air?492

She tried to swim up the stream of juice and back into the monster's inside, hoping the stream of grape juice would follow her lead, but it was too late. The daylight was already coaxing her out of the darkness.493

Out the bottom of the toilet bowl pond she came, feeling like she was being poured out a pitcher of grape juice.494

Wait a second, toilet bowl pond? she thought.495

Megan was falling through the sky. When she looked down at her feet, she was shocked to see that the world had somehow flipped itself around. The ground was now the layer of graying clouds that had once been in the sky. With absolute confusion, she covered up her eyes by using her hand as a visor in order to protect them from being washed out of her head in the stream. With her eyes guarded, she managed to get a quick peak upwards. The endless blue grass field had now become the sky.496

"Well this is unquestionably bizarre," said Megan.497

When she looked down again, she saw that there was one puffy giant cloud in particular that she was heading for. Incidentally, it was no longer the grayish color of the other clouds, because it had been stained purple from the grape juice waterfall falling on it. She wasn't sure if the cloud would even be able to break her fall.498

"Oh no..." she cried. "If I pass through that cloud, it'll have stolen all my grape juice."499

Out of desperation, she leaned forward and spread out her arms and legs, hoping that it would somehow make her lighter. Never had she attempted to land on a cloud before, but she knew a cannonball wouldn't do.500

With an incredible stroke of luck, the puffy purple cloud absorbed her crash as if she had landed on a giant sponge. It was the softest and most comfortable surface she had ever been on, although it was quite damp.501

Safe and sound, she rolled onto her back in a fit of giggles, smiling like a maniac as the last of the grape juice poured upon her, allowing her kisser to fill to the brim. Grape juice was dribbling out of the corners of her mouth on her already light purple stained face. Her blond pigtails, skin, mangled yellow shirt, shoes and everything else were stained as well. Naturally, she didn't care one bit.502

"I definitely want to go on that ride again," said Megan in excitement, now that everything had worked out in her favor. When she stared up into the sky at the field of blue grass, she realized she didn't know how to get back again, so she quickly gave up that idea and accepted her new surroundings. "Hmm... I guess I'm stuck here. Oh well, I can just live on this cloud and drink to my heart's content."503

She rolled around the cloud a few times until she stopped on her stomach, grinning like she had never grinned. Then, she got onto her hands and knees and started licking the purple cloud with delight. She was so revved up on adrenaline, that she wasn't even concerned when some of the grape juice she had swallowed was leaking out of her stomach wounds, something she had failed to notice in the deep pond and splashing slide ride.504

"Excuse me, do you mind not licking me?" asked the cloud in a polite and kind voice.505

Megan jumped up in surprise, looking down at her feet to see who had spoken. She couldn't see a set of eyes or a mouth anywhere.506

"Yes, I'm talking to you," said the cloud sweetly, her voice coming from the center of her whole being. Every time she talked, she pulsated ever so faintly.507

"Oh, I didn't know you were alive too," said Megan.508

"Apparently that's not the only think you don't know," said the cloud nicely. "You're leaking all over me."509

"More for me to drink later."510

"Well that won't do," said the cloud, sounding perturbed. "I have a wedding to attend, and I'm afraid I'll never be ready in time if you keep splattering all over me."511

"You're getting married?" asked Megan insensitively, eying the cloud with suspicion. All the while, she was laughing in her head at the ridiculous notion of a cloud floating before a minister - a bolt of lightning flashing beside.512

"No, but I was invited, so I don't have much of a choice in the matter," said the cloud, pouting. "When the groom - our great ruler - demands you do something, you do it. These are scary times y'know, scary times indeed."513

"So I've heard..." said Megan, pretending to care. The cloud was really ruining her buzz. All she wanted was to bask in her own purple pleasure, not worry about some useless wedding with some typical demanding psycho.514

"I had just finished forming a beautiful new coat before you fell from the sky; it had been the whitest I had ever gotten it. It might even have been considered pure amongst my kind at one time. Now look at me, I'm a stained mess. If I show up to the wedding like this, I'll surely be imprisoned...or worse."515

"Sorry," said Megan sarcastically. "The next time I see the world flip upside down, you'll be the first to know."516

"Dear me," said the cloud sweetly. "I've seen this kind of behavior before."517

Megan went beat red. She countered with rudeness.518

"I don't know what you are talking about, and honestly, I don't care."519

However, Megan's attitude simply bounced off the cloud's kindred armor.520

"I know that isn't the real you speaking, you poor thing."521

"You're right," said Megan. "Me and a goat were cloned in a lab, but the wrong me got away."522

"Goat and I..." said the cloud politely. Then, in almost a whisper, she added, "Whatever a goat may be."523

Megan could feel her body tense up.524

"You don't have to correct my grammar. I already know that rule...it just slipped out the wrong way."525

"No doubt you knew it once, but talking incoherently is a major sign of grape juice addiction."526

"I don't have an addiction," said Megan angrily, pounding her foot down. Her shoe disappeared into the spongy surface of the cloud, and when she removed it, her shoe print was engraved in the cloud's puffy exterior.527

"Angry outbursts are a sign as well," said the cloud. Then, with a loud popping sound, Megan's footprint was covered by a new grayish layer.528

"You know it all, don't you," scowled Megan.529

"Oh yes. Mood swings, deteriorated physical grooming (Megan was light purple), making inappropriate remarks...."530

"Enough."531

"Irritability..."532

Megan was on the verge of a meltdown.533

"I didn't ask you for a life lesson!"534

"Dear me no," said the cloud in her sweetest tone. "This is an intervention."535

"I don't want your help."536

"No?"537

"Just tell me how to get back to the pond," demanded Megan. "You see, it's in the sky now, and I'd be happy to be on my way if you just give me some directions or float me back up there."538

"Sounds like you want my help," said the cloud dreamily.539

Megan's stomach was empty. She had all this grape juice at her disposal, yet the cloud simply wouldn't shut her annoying trap. There were plenty of other gray clouds around, why couldn't she have landed on a mute one? Surely they all couldn't talk.540

"I'm tired of you, just leave me alone," said Megan.541

"I'm afraid I can't allow that," said the cloud.542

"Fine, then I'll just stay here, and you will have to put up with me," said Megan, sounding like a snobbish child.543

"I don't think so," said the cloud, but her voice remained sweet.544

Megan ignored her and lay back down, sinking into the spungey surface and stretching out her arms and legs as if she planned to stay for a while.545

"Ahhhh that's refreshing," she called out, burying her head into the fluffy purple cloud and closing her eyes with a smile. There was no greater feeling than to have the thing she wanted most underneath her, ready to be consumed at her leisure. She thought about how she would go about draining the cloud. Would she drink the grape juice quickly like she had before and then let most of it leak out? Or would she would take her time and savor the moment. She was happy either way.546

The cloud wasn't phased by her rude outburst. In fact, she had almost been expecting such manner.547

"I said you won't be staying here," said the cloud calmly, remaining firm on the issue.548

"I don't want to have to hurt you," said Megan in a stern tone.549

"Did you know that there have already been countless lives destroyed over outside influences in Deminity? Similar to the one effecting your judgment now."550

"There may be one more life lost if you don't stop talking," growled Megan.551

The cloud dismissed her threat and continued her lecture.552

"The ancient war arose out of the awful effects of a Staroid, the only one known to exist. It's monstrous rays turned a bunch of good natured individuals into an army of hideous beings. I even watched all my closest friends fall victim to its terrifying grasp; in particular, my hero Marsius. He was once an excellent leader, filled with passion and a desire to free those who were discriminated against. He inspired many others facing these horrors to join his cause. But once he basked in the Staroid's aura, he became filled with paranoia and delusion. Soon his noble goals were turned to hatred and revenge, and all who opposed him were his enemy. His powers grew a hundred times, summoning confidence that one could only invoke from a true feeling of invincibility. He believed he could do almost anything, and almost anything he could do. I had never seen such a manipulation of variables in all my life. However, his own false confidence killed him in the end, him and his transformed army of evil, but not before he terrorized and murdered countless others in the most brutal war to ever ravage this world. Ever since, there has been a stain on Deminity, one that cannot be washed clean. A new dictator arose from the ashes to take his tarnished throne, and I can't help but feel it is all my fault. I wish I had been stronger, that I had stopped Marsius before the Staroid consumed him, but I ran away and cowered. I've never stopped blaming myself for that."553

Megan had been lying on her back, absorbed into the cloud, listening to the story despite the aggravation in her veins. At first she had been scowling after every sentence, but as the cloud's pulsating had gotten more distinct, which Megan guessed had been her way of crying, she had calmed down. By the time the cloud had reached the end of her tragic tale, a single tear had grazed her round and purple cheek. She had been back to her old self, if only for a moment.554

"That's...awful," said Megan, sincere for the first time in a long while.555

The cloud needed a moment of silence before speaking again, but eve