Scarlet Roses [9]

Chapter 9:1

He sat in the stillness that consumed the fragile air. The world seemed to be screaming on as he was isolated in the second. It was heartbreaking, the events occurring at that very second seemed to be dragging on like years. He turned his face away from the shimmering lake, the surface of his troubles, it seemed. The voices in his head singing a sweet song as the angels took him away. He whispered to his mother, the woman who had stood next to him, there for him always, a tear dropped from his eye, then another, until a steady stream was falling from his eyes. He wanted to be home, he needed to go home, the mindless misery that was flowing through his veins as he cried for everything he could never have. He seemed to be slipping, he was slipping away from his brother, his mother, his father. They flickered in & out like a broken light fixture in his head, a shattered dream, barely even a memory. He sighed, quietly inhaling his last breath, his eyes now blurry, not understanding exactly why he's not dead yet, all he could see was the tunnel that had been carved into his mind, the one near the farm, he hummed seeing how alone they were, everyone was a whisper, barely a mark on this earth's unbroken surface. He knew something was wrong, because his mother was hugging him, crying & smiling, had he died & finally put them out of his misery? No, he hugged his mother back, the warmth of her skin was beautiful & welcomed on his icy skin, barely a fragment of what they once were. 2

I looked up at my father, who's eyes were releasing tiny fragments of relief, my brother, uneasy & unsure, but he seemed okay, he was smiling at me, at my mother, he was happy. For the first time in his 11 short years, that is the first time his smile meant something to anyone, it was the first time he made it mean something. My mother never released me that day, hugging me & holding me, but finally falling asleep because he swollen eyes would not longer allow her to see anything. My brother stood there, still looking over me, still smiling.3

"Are you okay?" my brother's voice sounded so small, he sounded so small when he asked that.4

"I'm fine, brother." they began to sing the song he had created for his brother when he had nightmares.5

We are the light in the tunnel, and we are stronger than ever, we will survive, come morning light, we'll still be standing tall & unbroken. Yes, we will survive, come morning light, we'll be standing tall...6

...7

He began to run, running from the woman, she wanted his blood, he could tell from her eyes that, if caught, there was no way he'd survive.8

...9

"Emmet!" screamed Elliott with fear.10

"What? What's going on?"11

"I can't hear Jocelynn's heart beating. It's gone, she's gone..." said Elliott, falling to his knees in tears, hugging Jocelynn's body to his, rock back & forth on his knees with her.12

...13

Jerod fell to his knees, everything thrown before him was crippling & disturbing. His heart might as well been ripped out of his perfect chest, he was on his knees, crying because there was nothing left to do but cry. He felt no warmth anymore, he felt nothing but pain, he felt so dead.14

...15

Emmet sat in the silence, he was stunned, there was no possible way. But there, next to him, sat the lilac eyed man he loved. He looked again, trying to see if it was really true. He couldn't believe he was still alive. 16

"Emmet, I can explain..."17

"NO! No you can't! I hated myself for years because I thought I'd killed the only person I loved! No James, you can't say anything to make me understand your reasoning for killing me! Ripping out my heart like that! How could you claim you love me & rip my heart out? James, how could you do this too me?! NO! I cannot do this!" Emmet ran now, trying to escape his love & hate, to escape himself was impossible, he couldn't run from James. James was part of him. He was not fine. 18

"Emmet, please stop, I have to explain this too you, please..." he kissed him then, & Emmet couldn't stop him, he had missed those lips for so long that there was no way he was going to stop it. When he finally released Emmet, James continued.19

"Emmet, I didn't know what you'd say to me, you know, if you ever found out what a monster I am. I hated doing it, I hated myself for hurting you. When I saw you crumble in the parlor with Esme, I felt so horrid, I wanted to really be dead. Emmet, please listen to me..." But there was nothing to listen to, James was fading, the fictional conversation that was playing before him ended in a sea of tears that seemed to be drowning Emmet.20