Shadowlands: prologue, epilogue, beginning, end

The great giant eye opened up and looked at the young man who lived longer than he had been alive. "Awaken Child." boomed its voice.1

His eyes opened, and looked at the self titled creator god. "Wow, this explains the decor."2

"You Have Much To Explain, And I Have Waited Long To Hear You Speak."3

"Really, truly, honestly, you're going to listen? You want what actually happened? I'll tell you, but you won't like it."4

"Speak."5

"It wasn't my fault."6

"NOT YOUR FAULT?" boomed the eye, turning red.7

"It was the shades. They've been planning this all along. If you made them it was a mistake-"8

"I MAKE NO MISTAKES, I AM THE CREATOR, ALL I MAKE IS GOOD!"9

"Well they were a bad move. They destroyed everything. I tried sto-"10

"THE SHADES WERE TOOLS OF MY POWER, YOU DESTROYED THEM!"11

"Ya know what? Piss off!"12

"YOU DO NOT SPEAK TO THE CREATOR GOD LIKE THAT!!! I Shall Examine Your Mind."13

My head filled with excruciating pain, and I was wrenched back into my first moments of shadow. I remember the black that came all around me, and for a second time, as though it was the first, my last memories of the real world slipped through my grasp. I forgot the eye. I forgot life, emotion, sensation. With nothing to stimulate my mind and senses, I drifted without time or place in a void of black. My mind and body numb.14

Then the world came to me, like a hook in my nose, a slight, overpowering pressure pulled me to the ground. Ground, magnificent. The gravel under me was uncomfortable on my hands and knees, but it was something. Whispy grass filled the field all about me, and I stood up to look into the strange landscape. I stood against a cliff, and a field, in the gap where grass did not venture for lack of sun.15

The field rippled in the wind like smoke tethered to the ground. Suddenly all about me there were hulking creatures. Brutes that stood hunched over, still taller than me. With wide circular mouths and triangular teeth in four sets of jaws, concentrically placed. Their fists were huge masses, fingers the size of my leg. Combined with their oversized heads, they had a ridiculous and frightenning look.16

I backed against the wall, unable to move away. Serated tongues dragged over the teeth, flicking spittle onto everything, as their mouths opened and closed hypnotically.17

They stiffened up as a dog hearing a whistle. They parted, revealing a woman. She was pale and beautiful. Her presence translucent and whispy like the grass behind her. 18

She stepped forward and put her hand to my cheek. Her touch was soft and sweet against my deprived skin -it gave me chills. I convulsed in my revulsion. Her fingers found the back of my neck, and drew me closer. Her lips came to mine. Closer. 19

I saw it. Behind her back she held a crystal shard. It shone pale purple and blue hues. I reached and grabbed her wrist, twisting it up into her back.20

There was a sucking noise, and she was pulled into the crystal like a cloud of smoke. The shard fell into my hand, and I brandished it at the beasts. They recoiled and ran. One stayed. It swung at me, and I ducked into its reach, jamming the crystal into its chest. As it fell onto me, its blood flowed out, sticky and black.21

After an hour or more, i managed to worm my way out from under its body. The sun was near the horizon. A huge disk of red, dim enough to look straight at. It glared back at me with an angry face. Sunsets are beautiful, and this one probably was. But looking into that glowing disk over a field of smoke, and the impossible mountain range felt to surreal to consider its beauty.22

I knew from that point, that I was farther from home than I had ever been. Home was a dream, and I had entered the land of nightmares.23

But the nightmares would not stop for my awe, as I was quickly snapped back into 'reality' by the surreal screach of some unknown horror. I made my way along the cliff and found a small cave. After searching twenty feet into it to find the end, I set upon the task of collecting the grass to use in a fire.24

I walked into the field, noticing the other srange plants. There were sunflowers with huge petals, and faces. They literally had human faces, and they sang strange operetic melodies in a wierd puffing voice. A small tree grabbed me, its five branches like throned fingers. another reached for me, and instinctively I held my hands in front of me.25

The crystal flashed in my hand, and the trees recoiled. I used its sharp tip to pick at the thin sapling's base until it snapped. I collected a few more of these and returned to the cave.26

I sat chipping rocks against each other, trying to make sparks. I looked around and saw the crystal. It had served my needs before, maybe it could make fire too. I struck it with another rock, sending huge plumes of sparks into the drying grass. The fire kept me warm and safe through the night.27

When I woke the next morning, my mouth felt like cotton. I needed water. I stepped out of the cave and into a town. Right where the field had been now sat a town made of candy. Streets paved with chocolate. Frosting sprinkling down like snow over mint grass. Peppermint trees stood sentry in the yards.28

I walked up to one of the gingerbread houses, and knocked. I tried the handle and it snapped off. "Ridiculous," I muttered, kicking in the door. I entered.29

The house was furnished with licorice chairs and sofas, but no people. Or maybe. What's this I hear outside. I left to investigate the commotion. As suddenly as the town had appeared there were now gingerbread men and women walking around.30

"Excuse me. Pardon me I," they walked past with glazed looks. "CAN ANYONE HELP ME!" The cookie golems stopped and turned on me. Their stupid smiles turned to glares. They charged.31

They pounded up to me, and stopped, looking up. A chill ran down my spine as they fled. I did not know what was headed my way, but it was far worse than the crumbling army's wrath. I looked up into a shadowy face and a sweeping robe. Bony rotted hands grabbed me up and held me in front of an unseen face.32

Hot festering breath poured over my suddenly freezing skin. I felt cold in more way than one. "WHERE DID YOU GET A SOULDRINKER?"33

I could barely see from the thing's grip on my mind, but I forced myself to say, "Huh?" Not very profound I know, but I was forgetting how to breathe.34

"WHO ARE YOU CHILD!"35

I blacked out. I remember only vaguley waking up a little and seeing several black clad figures standing around my hospitol bed. The cloak was there at the foot. A man in a trenchcoat on one side, and a woman in a leather catsuit on the other. The woman's whole body was covered in leather, with only an opening for her mouth, zipped shut. On my left stood a schoolgirl and a dominatrix. On the right stood a doctor of complete shadow. 36

They discussed me for a minute before drugs put me under again. I wanted then to be awake, but oh how I regretted waking up.

Author notes

i'm redoing all of my old storylines. too much confusion in them, so i'm starting at the beginning

In a list

revised revisited... reloaded?

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    : Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have 0. (?) (Line numbers)
    Ratings:

Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • ForgottenCore
    May 4, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    AWESOME


    • Mr Majenta gold member
      May 6, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      thanks it's just a teaser though so if you want read more

  • princessleia101
    May 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow. That made no sense. I didn't care for the fact that you used a terrible word in there as well! I didn't like the fact that it didn't make no sense so there was no action so I lost intrest in it so I ended up just flipping through the rest of the story. However, that was scary in a way-now I'm gonna have nightmares!

    • Mr Majenta gold member
      May 6, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      ouch.
      it makes sense and there's plenty of action if you get past the first three paragraphs. the beginning just sets up a surreal feeling. it's not for everyone though thanks for the critique. also, i searched and couldn't find any terrible words, admittedly my language is quite vulgar so if i did use one i'm sorry.


  • B Chandler Greeters member
    January 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Great Skeleton

    I think if you were to do a good 'finalization' of this storyline, I'd be all the more intrigued as to what's being offered out on the table. But for right now, this story is like its giving hints of something more than expected- which is a good thing. Keep'em coming


  • Mr Majenta gold member
    November 9, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    i'll probably add more to this before starting a new chapter

1 - 7 of 7