Still Beautiful

We layed there after Jen fell asleep and just kind of looked at each other. We talked a little, but none of it was really important. I wasn't saying any of the things I really felt. That I love you, that I was so glad you were there that I felt like crying and screaming and just flopping over and dying. You make me feel so ridiculously happy, it's just pathetic. We kept moving around, the space between my body and your's felt too big. It wasn't a sexual thing, it was an emotional one. Finally we were close enough, holding both of our hands in each other. I wanted to touch your face, because I'm still trying to memorize the way it feels, but you were holding both of my hands, so I was stuck just looking at you. Not that I minded of course. I think you've gotten more beautiful since the last time I saw you, but of course, that could just be because I haven't seen you in so long. You're still beautiful though. I wish I knew what you were thinking, I constantly want to know what you're thinking. You never tell me most of the time, you just look at me, piercing my heart so wonderfully with that look. It's the same look you gave me right before our first kiss. I imagine, if you propose to me before I do, that look will be present again right before you propose and afterwards, when I say yes. There's something about that look, like when you say please and thank you to me, that just melts my heart to mush. I can't resist you, believe me, I've tried. I feel your breathing start to slow down, and you nuzzle your face into my neck. You sigh a little; a good one. I let go of one of your hands so I can pull you into me, so I can hold you. I'm so uncomfortable; because you have the covers, and I'm laying akwardly, because your wrapped around me. I realize you've fallen asleep and I groan and then smile. Half of my body has gone numb, but I fall asleep just the same, a smile on my face, and you laying on me. When I wake up the next morning, you will have rolled off of me, and I will wake you up with kisses, because you're not a morning person so I like to torment you. You'll complain about morning breath and won't kiss me, but I'll cheat and kiss you anyway. And then when you leave, I'll think about how wonderful it will be, to do that all the time, and then I'll go back to sleep and feel empty without you there...1