Nude, Alicia stood before the mirror, studying herself. She was blind to the bones made painfully obvious in her emaciated frame. She didnt' see the thighs, barely bigger than her ankles, the ribs that could easily be counted. The sunken eyes, skeletal face, and lack of breasts weren't apparent to her. All Alicia could see was a sea of fat, and she was drowning in it. She was a failure, a fat pig, disgusting. She was ugly. She was fat.1
Her face crumpling, Alicia wept. When would the image in the mirror show her that she was finally thin enough?2
A contest entry
- Drabbles by trekkergirl.
200 points, ended September 2, 2008, 22 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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oh, that's so sad, I take it this was based on anerxiea? Sorry if I spelt that wrong. It's very good, very deep.
-Dani -
Another very important subject touched on my beautifully written words. I felt alicia's emotions in this write. Good job.
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This is really good. It was short but just long enough to get the theme of the story across. You did a nice job with this story.
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who doesnt look in the mirror and spot fat they wannaa get rid of? it was short but sometimes short is enough. I agree with Mandi you really do depict the emotions of a person struggling with their body image and how they feel and the outlets they'll take to change it. thanks for entering for contest and good luck!
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This was wonderful! It really depicts the emotions the anorexic or bulemic people go through. It's so sad. And there is nothing wrong with the rythm! I love this!
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Excellent
All eating disorders are such a tragedy created by mankind's obsession and flawed opinion of what is beautiful. It certainly does not agree with what God calls beautiful.
You have done an excellent job of getting into the mind of a person who suffers these deadly disorders. We only can pray that God will open their eyes to see reality.
Good luck in the contest! I feel you have met the requirements exceedingly well.
Love and hugs
BonnieQ
Associate Editor, WA
Waltsan Publishing, TX -
awesome. I know how hard it is to stay in the criteria of word count because my essays and assignments have to be very exact. I really enjoyed it!
S t e p h
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This is great. I've had so many friends that have suffered from diseases such as this. Even I have gone through it, it's sad yet somewhat liberating to hear it explained.
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wow. this was a deep piece for only 100 words. Just proves alot can come from a little. I hope this has no relation to real life. but yeah wow. thank you for entering and good luck.
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Incredible that you can say so much in so few words. Amazing!
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Wow that is a very powerful piece, and the shortness definitely puts a punctuation on the point you're making. It's short and sweet, and I really like stories like that. I also think it takes talent to limit a story to a certain length, and exactly 100 is reall great. Overall, I think this is a really awesome write. Good luck in the contest!
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This conveyed a serious amount of emotion in very few words. It did a great job of fully summing up the feelings of an anorexic girl... not that I would know... I'm a boy and far from anorexic.
My one thing... She was a failure, a fat pig, disgusting. She was ugly. She was fat. You go failure fat gross ugly fat. I think it'd have a nicer rhythm if you changed She was a failure, to something relating with ugly. So it would go Ugly Fat Gross Ugly Fat... it's just a minor rhythmic thing.
-The Rurouni
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How very sad, the thinggs that girls do to themselves and the images they fail to see. This was very chilling and realistic. You did a great job of describing the situation and holding the readers attention. Good luck in the contest!
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wow, this is a awesome! great job! i love this story, it sends such a message in only 100 words. great work Jinx!
electric thrill,
Bleezie -
I think its difficult as hell to write something using exactly 100 words. i could never do that without a headache in the end.
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that was amazing especially for only using 100 words good job
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Yeah, eating disorders suck. You did well with 100 words.
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Woah. This was amazing, very impactful. It's so sad to see young women put themselves through such torture...beautiful write, though so so sad!
-morgana
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