Candy Coated Kisses

Candy and Anna had been friends since their early teens. Candy was a little chunkier, but taller than Anna. She had a brick house build and sometimes felt as if she was the bad influence friend. Anna on the other hand was shy, proper like and wasn't the kind to try new things, or even spend the night over with a friend, but things was about to change.1

Candy had just picked Anna up from her house, "I'm glad I finally convinced you to stay with me Anna" said Candy. "Yeah maybe it will be fun" Anna thought.2

They arrived at Candy's house. Back in the country, a little quaint trailer stood, you could tell summer was approaching; everything was so nicely green, and blooming. 3

Afterwards they both took showers to get ready to settle down for a night of movies and popcorn in Candy's room. Candy wondered to herself if she would tell Candy the erotic thought she'd been having about her lately. Anna was the type of person who would never think of having sex with her best friend, so Candy thought anyway. 4

They were not really interested in the movie and were mostly just chatting, laughing, and having a blast together. 5

Laughing, Candy slowly began to kiss her, it seemed as if it came naturally to her, even though she had never done this before while on the other hand, Anna wasn’t a good kisser provided that she was tense and still. "Lighten up Anna", said Candy. "Ok" replied Anna. 6

Candy took off her night gown, only to be left with her panties on. Then slowly took off all of Anna's clothes. Anna began to moan a little as if what Candy was doing was fulfilling to her. She grasped her pretty breasts in her hands and kissed them gently, sucking on Anna's nipples. Anna began to sigh and Candy could feel her heart racing from the heat of soft touches Candy was giving her. 7

She laid Anna back on the bed and licked her down her whole body caressing her thighs and cunt. The wetness of Anna was overwhelming that she wanted to taste her. She wanted her, every inch of her but she was wondering if Anna felt the same way.8

Candy inched her tongue down Anna's body until she reached her gold mine of wetness and warmth. Anna arched her back and moaned in excitement as Candy clutched her clit in between her lips and began to lick vigorously. With one hand she caressed her nipples, and with the other, fingered Anna's cunt hard and fast while eating her out as if she had done this a million times. 9

Anna moaned louder, and louder, climaxing all over Candy's chin. Loving the taste of her sweet nectar, she inquired, "Anna did you like that?" while Anna’s only reply was, "Oh, ummm I loved it". Seeing how she just given her friend an orgasm, Candy herself wanted the feel—the sensations of it all as well; switching places, she told Anna to ‘return the favor’. 10


Author notes

"Warming up the winter". Please tell me your exact thoughts on this. Critique if needed.

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • Sgs
    September 16, 2008

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    Mmmm, gotta love a good lesbian tale! Growwwwl! Thanks so much for your submission, I enjoyed it very much!


  • yumesandman
    December 6, 2007

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    Well, exact thoughts are what you're going to get.

    This needs more. At the moment, it reads kind of like a step-by-step outline for how to have lesbain sex. In fact, it kind of reminds me of something you'd watch in high school health class on a demonstration video during the sex ed. unit, only dirtier.

    That's not to say it's bad, it just needs some work (and every piece on here needs work, or else we wouldn't bother posting them). First, run this through a spelling/grammar checker like MS Word. Second, read it outloud to catch further spelling/grammar mistakes- this catches what the computer misses. People cannot taking your writing seriously if they can't even read it.

    Third, add more detail. You managed to sum up Candy and Anna's whole relationship/lives in a matter of four sentences in the beginning paragraph. Yeah, I know you want to get to the good parts (^_^) but the good parts will never be good unless your readers connect with the characters. Add in at least a paragraph for each of them; what do they look like, what are they're hobbies, how did they find out they were into girls, how did they meet, did they date anyone before, etc. At the moment, Candy and Anna are like those health video actresses- 'eh, who cares, what's for lunch?'

    The other thing that bothered me was Anna's quick give in. Again, I know you want to get to the good bits, but for someone who is supposed to be shy/reserved like Anna, she sure gets her clothes off fast. Add in a little about how Anna gets uncomfortable/scared and Candy comforts her/shows her it's alright. It'll definitely add to the story.

    So not to discourage you, because you're definitely on the right track, you just need to work with this a little more. I'm sure you'll get a good end product from it though!


  • whichcraft Greeters member
    December 5, 2007

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    There were a few punctuation mistakes but overall the story was good. I'm not used to the lesbian stories yet but I am getting to appreciate the different writing sytles from the typical man on woman stories.

    It is a good story and definitely deserved to win silver. Good luck in the contest to see if it can win a gold. Thanks for entering.


  • Summer Lion
    November 21, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    "Candy wondered to herself if she would tell Candy the erotic thought she'd been having about her lately." I was a little confused by that sentence. DId you mean if she would tell Anna the erotic thought...? "Laughing, Candy slowly began to kiss her" Here I would say "slowly began to kiss Anna." Since they are both girls, saying "her" too much can get confusing. Other then those suggestions I thought this story was pretty good. Short and to the point, with enough descriptions to get the feel for the story. It's not what I usually read, but I liked it anyway. Nice work.


  • Killswitche
    November 16, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    very nice

    more more more(return the favor)


  • B Chandler Greeters member
    November 7, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Grammar Errors

    Here will be the re-written corrections...

    Candy and Anna had been friends since their early teens. Candy was a little chunkier, but taller than Anna. She had a brick house build and sometimes felt as if she was the bad influence friend. Anna on the other hand was shy, proper like and wasn't the kind to try new things, or even spend the night over with a friend, but things was about to change.1

    Candy had just picked Anna up from her house, "I'm glad I finally convinced you to stay with me Anna" said Candy. "Yeah maybe it will be fun" Anna thought.

    They arrived at Candy's house. Back in the country, a little quaint trailer stood, you could tell summer was approaching; everything was so nicely green, and blooming. 3

    Afterwards they both took showers to get ready to settle down for a night of movies and popcorn in Candy's room. Candy wondered to herself if she would tell Candy the erotic thought she'd been having about her lately. Anna was the type of person who would never think of having sex with her best friend, so Candy thought anyway. 5

    They were not really interested in the movie and were mostly just chatting, laughing, and having a blast together. 7

    Laughing, Candy slowly began to kiss her, it seemed as if it came naturally to her, even though she had never done this before while on the other hand, Anna wasn’t a good kisser provided that she was tense and still. "Lighten up Anna", said Candy. "Ok" replied Anna. 9

    Candy took off her night gown, only to be left with her panties on. Then slowly took off all of Anna's clothes. Anna began to moan a little as if what Candy was doing was fulfilling to her. She grasped her pretty breasts in her hands and kissed them gently, sucking on Anna's nipples. Anna began to sigh and Candy could feel her heart racing from the heat of soft touches Candy was giving her. 11

    She laid Anna back on the bed and licked her down her whole body caressing her thighs and cunt. The wetness of Anna was overwhelming that she wanted to taste her. She wanted her, every inch of her but she was wondering if Anna felt the same way.12

    Candy inched her tongue down Anna's body until she reached her gold mine of wetness and warmth. Anna arched her back and moaned in excitement as Candy clutched her clit in between her lips and began to lick vigorously. With one hand she caressed her nipples, and with the other, fingered Anna's cunt hard and fast while eating her out as if she had done this a million times. 13

    Anna moaned louder, and louder, climaxing all over Candy's chin. Loving the taste of her sweet nectar, she inquired, "Anna did you like that?" while Anna’s only reply was, "Oh, ummm I loved it". Seeing how she just given her friend an orgasm, Candy herself wanted the feel—the sensations of it all as well; switching places, she told Anna to ‘return the favor’. 14


    [Lines 15 and 16 really weren't needed]

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