Death?-8

Henry. The only one I ever loved. Not in a kiss me I'm yours forever kind though. I was head over heels for him, no doubt. 1

The sun was up over the roof. I am no longer able to see it, so I make my way to the other side of the middle class apartment. New York. Home of my life. Place of my death. Heaven of my afterlife. Ahhhh. The building tops that cover the horizon mock as I shut the blind in my room. Blot out the sun and prepare for sleep. I grit my teeth at the thought. 2

Dreaming. Now that's something I love, but since I've been talking about my past...memories come forth and I can't stand it. I feel I wallow. Wallow in the past as everybody else's lives push forth. Then again...mines not really a life. More of an...afterlife?3

I lay down and stare at the inside of my eyelids. My room is just a bed on the floor. Away from the sun. My window...blotted out by blinds currently. This is the place sun cannot touch me. Can not burn me. Can not find me and show it's mocking face. Ahhhh, but I do love it so. Miss it even.4

I inhale, feel the tension in my chest as I intake what isn't necessary, then slowly exhale, so slow a human would have gone blue by now. I do so for about five minutes. Staring...at the ceiling thinking about what will happen when I fall into a sleep. A coma like state of never ending memories.The cold bite of the winters morning as I run. Run from my past, my humanity, my innocence of the dark world before me. Seventeen and running as the blood trail leads me to Henry. What have I done?5

I sit up. Cold sweat has found me. Vampire sweating, I know, right? It found me though from my too human memories. I do not wish to remember that memory. I do not wish it one bit. I begin to hyperventilate. 6

The walls. They're moving inward. Then a jutting pain hits my gut. A thirst so intense.I want to run, jump, fling myself from the very window I hide from, but all it does is make the pain deepen, bringing me to the floor. I reach up to the bed, scratching, groping for the blanket and pull it on top of myself. Suffocation. End it now! My eyes clench shut, rolling to the back of my head. My gut withers inward. And empty pain creeps to my chest and a dizzy feeling enters my mouth and wraps itself around my teeth. Vomit.7

Blood and tissue pool upon the floor. I lay to the side. Horizontal to my vomit. Blood, red and endless seeps from my mouth as my body tries to recover with quick jolts. Is this death? I knew to be dead would be too lucky. 8

My eyes flutter as my brain tries to process what has happened. Restarting itself. My gaze still lays upon that blood. I then feel myself slip. I'm slipping into dreams and unconsciousness. Then came the nightmare, then came Henry's face. 9