Rat Boy Pro.

I've never seen the sun before. My Momma always says that it's hell on her skin. I live in the basement where there is no light at all except a dim lamp in the corner. I'm not alone, there are the rats. I've befriended one of them. He likes to hide in my pocket. I named him Charlie. It's one of the few names I know because mama's is always saying "sorry Charlie."1

I have a Daddy somewhere, but he's not the man who lives upstairs. My real Daddy only stayed with Momma for a short time and she doesn't know where he went. He was supposed to take us when he left. He didn't. Now Momma lives with the angry man upstairs. I've never seen him but I hear him sometimes. His voice is dark and cold. It makes my stomach sick.
There are foot steps on the stairs. Mommy's coming.2

"Hey there, little man, what are you up to?" Her smiling face lights up the attic more then the my little lamp ever could. Her golden hair hangs down to her waist and her china doll face glows with excitement. Balanced in her hands is a cake with a candle and several plates and forks. The cake has six candles in it.3

"I was just taking to Charlie, Momma." I reply pulling the rat from my pocket. He yawns sleepily, before he starts to sniff, smelling the cake. I laugh softly.4

"It's you're birthday, Paul! Aren't you excited? You are six years old today!" Momma exclaimed with glee and set the cake in frount of me. Charlie jumps from my hand and steals a bit of cake before retreating behind my dresser.5

"Oh yuck, now I'm going to have to cut that part off." she scowled. 6

"Don't worry about it Momma, I'll eat it. His germs don't bother me. I share with him all the time." I reassured her.7

"What?! You eat after vermin? God, Paul, it's bad enough you play with them but you share you're food?" Mommy's sweet face suddenly turned sour. A dark flush ran over her cheeks.8

"I'm sorry, Momma, I won't do it anymore! Please don't be mad at me!" I pleaded.9

She raised her hand and lashed it across my face. " I go through all this trouble sneaking you a cake and you want to feed it to a rat! You are so ungrateful." She sobbed as she got up to her feet.10

I let out a loud squeak before I start choking back the lump that's raising up out of my chest. I can feel my cheek begin to swell. I run my fingers over the sensitive area and wince. If I cry Momma will leave and not come back for a time. Sometimes not for days.11

She left.12

I then let out my odd squeaky little cries. Charlie comes out and climbs onto my shoulder. I reach for the cake and break him off another piece. I take one for myself. It is far to sweet for me. I'm used to oats and canned foods. Nothing as rich as this.13

"Have as much as you like Charlie."14

I have a small bed in the corner. Momma says I should be happy to have it. I'm not. It has springs poking out of it that scratch me. I told her once and she only said "sorry Charlie." I sleep on the floor with Charlie instead. We like to hide under the blankets. That's one thing I have plenty of. blankets. I pile them all over my head. I feel safe when I'm hidden.15

I reach out and switch off the my little lamp, and I am lost in the darkness. I curl up and close my eyes. I feel Charlie wiggle about, his little whiskers tickling. I squeak softly at him, a smile pulling at my lips. It's time to sleep.

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 11 of 11

  • Memoirs of a Girl
    May 19, 2008

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    This story is so very sad and it reminds me of the story "A Child Called 'It'". I wish it was a bit longer, though. There's not very much detail, and it would just be an amazing story if there was more to it.
    Thanks for entering.
    ~Memoirs


  • Vampiric souls
    May 16, 2008

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    wow this is a really good story and I think that it is really well written. Great job, it is such a desolate scene for this and I think that you have done a really great job. I hope yo read more of your stuff soon..


  • beezy92
    December 20, 2007

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    I asked for no horror

    Yet you gave me horror. Why why why?!?! *wails* I aksed for no horror not because I'm a horrible person but because I'm a horrible wimp. Seriously. When I get scared at night I still go into my mommy's room. I mean it. You must know how embarrassing that is for me. Please don't make me go back to my mommy's room with this scary story...lol.

    Feel free to enter something else, but time is running out because I'm about to close the contest for judging.


    • kaylaface
      December 21, 2007
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      sorry, I didn't think it was all that scary, just sad more then anything. I suppose you could get scary from the first chapter. lol I didn't mean to make you run to your mommy. XD


  • Felissa
    December 20, 2007

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    What a miserable existence! At least he has some kind of a friend. I definitely could read more of this, but I don't know if there is more.
    Oh well. Certainly an excellent entry into my contest. I'm sorry it has taken this long for me to get to you.
    Good luck!
    ~_^Tangerine


    • kaylaface
      December 21, 2007
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      there is another chapter to it, and I plan on writing more... sometime. lol. I've been slacking on it.

  • slashinguk
    December 18, 2007

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    Stark

    What a stark scene. I like the way that in such a short piece you capture the essence of a complete tragic situation. Well done. Is this boy in an attic or a basement? You use both here.


  • Violet Moodswing Greeters member
    December 16, 2007

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    Welcome to StoryWrite

    And thanks for entering the new members contest. A very stark look into the life of a very unfortunate family. the sad thing is that there are those who actually live in a similar state.

    Well done. Best of luck in the contest.


  • Andy Stephenson gold member
    December 15, 2007

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    Poor Kid!

    Locked up in a basement and his mother sometimes not coming for days. A pet rat for company, at least he has a companion. What a sad way to celebrate a birthday. This story is well written and I enjoyed reading it in spite of the kid's misfortune. I was very glad he had his rat.

    Thanks for entering the New Member contest.

    Andy


  • Infectious Insanity
    November 8, 2007

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    great beginning! it caught my attention. I think you could have dragged Momma's exit from his room for a little bit longer though.... but good work... I'm not sure why it was in horror, but never mind.
    Great read. good luck

    *sheep*


  • Thwack
    November 7, 2007

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    Aside from some continuity issues, this was a great little read. I loved the very real interaction between the boy and his pet rat. Also, the conversations with the mother seemed plausible.

    I don't know. I'm a sucker for stories about pets. Thanks!

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