It was Monday morning the beginning of the week. There was a strange feeling in the pit of my stomach. I couldn’t say what it was, but I knew something lay ahead of me. I was certain of it. It was always the same. It was as if someone stood over me with a massive wooden spoon stirring my insides, I always got this way before something happened, I always trusted my instincts. All I had to do now is wait, which was always the hardest part. 2
I stared into the mirror, it didn’t seem like my reflection, a pale drawn face, with black circles under its eyes, stood there staring back, I would have swore it was someone else if it hadn’t been wearing the same clothes as me. I stood for no more of a minute staring at myself, making sure I was at least a reasonable to face the world. Not that I could be bothered, I hadn’t slept properly in days and it was starting to tell. I should be used to the nightmares by now, not that they had evoked my sleep in awhile… But still they were never welcomed with open arms. 3
It had been a couple of weeks before they had started again, I had, had no visions, nightmares or anything until the past couple of nights. I had spent a lot of time with my family, and I had felt better for it, but now the nightmares were back. All I had to do was wait for the visions, I knew they wouldn’t be too far behind. That’s all I could do though, is wait. 4
A tugging at the arm of my jacket suddenly brought me out of my thoughts. 5
“Mommy” a little voice said. “Do you got to go to work today?” I couldn’t help but smile at him, standing there rubbing his little brown eyes, looking up at me. I wish I didn’t have to, I wish I could have just stayed here for the rest of my life; if it was possible I wouldn’t have thought twice. “I’m sorry baby, I do.” Jamie, my son was his dads double, brown eyes, mousy brown hair and my olive complexion and the cutest little dimples. I had often been told as a child, the angels put them there, and maybe it was true, because he was one of the nicest child I had ever seen. Always respectful, and would do anything to make you smile.“ He was a little angel.6
“If you be a good boy, daddy will take you out for the day, maybe to the park, and get an ice cream. How does that sound?”7
He looked up at me with his sleepy eyes and smiled. “Okay mommy.”8
“Why not go into the living room and watch some TV until daddy gets up? He won’t be long. I promise.” I leant over and kissed him on the forehead. He gave me that look of, “mom, stop it!” Then hesitated for a moment and gave me a hug before I left.9
“By baby, see you tonight.”10
“Okay mommy, see you then.” 11
As I closed the door behind me, I lay up against it for a second. I noticed my neighbour Joy door was open. Suddenly a piercing thought screamed through my head, making me take hold of it. It felt as if it was going to explode. My stomach back flipped over and over, the pain was horrendous, and all I could do was slowly lower myself to the floor, as the vivid images of her took over me. She was lying in a pool of blood, dead! The cries of mercy echoed through my head, blinding my thought. I lay on the floor out side of my apartment quietly whispering, “Please no not again,” I thought I was done with them, but I know when I think that they come back with vengeance. Still the images hounded me like a pack of wolves that hadn’t eaten all winter. 12
I slowly raised myself from the floor looking at the open door. I had to see if she was all right, if my visions were true. I edged myself towards the open door. I slowly opened the door with hesitation before I crossed the threshold. “Joy?” no answer, I shouted louder again, I could barely hear myself, and my heart was pounding hard in my chest. With a trembling voice “Joy, you there?” still nothing. I heard a noise coming from the kitchen. What if the murderer was still there, or he was in the middle of it? I could barely contain my thoughts, my feelings. “Please god let her be O.K.” I pleaded in my mind. I slid myself across the walls as if they were my only support. “Joy?” I shouted again, “are you there?” 13
If my heartbeat went any faster it would be on the floor next to me. Or the murderer, if there were one, would hear me coming a mile off. Suddenly an icy cold chill on the back of my neck, as if death himself had chosen me as his next victim, and was breathing over me, wanting, waiting. “Joy, are you there?” and as if from nowhere a figure stepped out. I felt as if I could have sunk into the ground, the terror persisted, what was I going to do, who was it? “Joy is that you?” “Hey honey of course its me who else would it be?” Joy said. “Are you ok, you’re as white as a sheet, here sit down.” Sit down. I felt as if I was going to pass out, I wasn’t sure if it was with the fright of the vision, or with relief that joy was All right. I fumbled my way to the chair, “no I’m ok really, just must of panicked when I seen your door open and no one replied that’s all, nothing to worry about” I tried to smile, whether one showed or not that’s a different story.14
“Sorry I was just bring my grocery’s in, didn’t want to have to keep stopping and starting to open the door.” 15
“Oh ok I guess my mind is working overtime today. Anyway, think I better be off to work before I am late and I get fired.” 16
“Ok then sweetie, you have a nice day and stop worrying all is fine ok?” 17
“Yeah, ok Joy, enjoy the rest of your day.” I couldn’t get put of there fast enough, the visions were still running through my mind, they were sending me into despair. I don’t think I could have stood it a moment longer. I eventually made it to my car, but still had to calm down, there was no use in driving in this state.18
Author notes
I did start this ages ago, as you see there are alot of other parts, but I have to re-write those aswell, and if you go onto part two you'll lose a whole chunk of the story. Thanks to those who read.
Natalia
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
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lots of grammar mistakes, but the story is good.
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I can't comment until I read the rest. It is a good start!


beginning: 4, language: 4, plot: 5, characters: 4.
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Dear Talia, are you going to write Part 2?
Jen. -
I'm hooked. I love a good horror story. You've given me lots of foreshadowing. I have to go on to part 2 whether it's finished or not. Thanks for the read! Sheryl
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Great
Fantastic, I can't read the rest tonight, but I hope to come back sometime, you really should get published, I really enjoyed this piece, along with many others, you are wonderful! You have a way with words, great job! All my wishes!
Purplerose
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very gripping story
Wow this is a very gripping story, I like the way it is unfolding and I will be back to read other chapters. love love anything to do with the paranormal and very gripping thrillers, can't get enough of them, I will be bookmarking it~angelica
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Well that was gripping! Held my attention for the fullest. I will look forward to reading the next part. I pay no attention to the typos, just content. Excellent, thought drenching. I will be anxiously awaiting to hear more......
Dena
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Hey, you did a really good job on this. It was worded nicely, and it built suspense. I hope you continue this. I'd like to see if her visions are prophetic or not... There were few typos which made it easy to read.
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A Beautiful Poem
Wow this was fantastic Nat,an intrigueing story. Keep up the great writes. Can't wait for the next one. Take care, Sandy WONDERFUL STORY -
wonderfully written
Dear Poetic escape, I clicked onto your story, read it, then my computer played up, I will applause this to give you back the points you lost. The story: I enjoyed reading it so very much, it is getting very intriguing, i am also interested in the paranormal and thrillers, I will be very interesyed in seeing the next chapter and what happens next,so I will bookmark this so I can come back and read the rest. wonderful story, magnificent-jennifer -
wow... really good story! well done!
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i think i read the other version, i seem to remember this. eeek, dimples! i am cursed with those things, flippin' nightmare. a good story, mmm i will help with the shopping lol it's the least i can do. stares at bread and jam
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This piece drew me in right away. I like how you broke the suspense with bit about your son then brought it back. Very nice start to a spine tingling story.
Regards,
Leo Long -
No, its a story not a poem , its the first part.
Thanks -
Very long and well thought about. Improvement: Make it less story like, it is a poem, not a story.
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Ohhh Nat, that was gripping stuff! I really enjoyed reading that... was convinced you were going to find poor old Joy face down on the floor in a pool of blood!
Looking forward to part 2! (I'm sure she's gonna get it in the end, isn't she... Joy I mean
)
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Good Job!
Looks like you have penned pretty well here my dear friend, and I must say that for such a time ago, and trying to recapture the imagery, and story in all...Well, heck, you did great!
Thanks for sharing, and always good to read ya!
-Timothy The Poetic Weaver~
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nice...real scart.the imagery was real good. thrilling.
look forward to more...(no pressure)...^_^ take care. -
Natalia, this is a wonderful start to this. You've done an excellent job on the imagery and story line. I'm very intrigued with it and can't wait to read the next part my dear. Bravo!! Great one
Hugs, Tamara
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This is a great start, sucks you in right away. I love thrillers... write some more, can't wait to read it. *Jinx*
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Oooooh! i can tell that this story is going to be very intriguing indeed! I am a true sucker for the paranormal...and for murder mysteries
so this is right
up my alley, so to speak. I look forward to reading more...
so get your ass in gear, Nat! lmao!
UB







