A Cowboy, a Greek, and a Farmer (Ch. 4)

A Cowboy, a Greek, and a Farmer1

“Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for a while and leave footprints on our hearts. And we are never, ever the same,” is an anonymous quote that after many years of being boy crazy, I have come to strongly agree.  Throughout the past few years, I have gone through extremes such as being in love, hating, and obsessing over many different guys, but three of them have stuck in my mind.  Joe Duden, Pericles Tsellos, and Jeff Pagel will forever have a special place in my heart, and they have all helped me to become a stronger person who can handle tough situations when they come my way.2

In the summer of 2000 was the first time I ever met Joe Duden.  Actually, it was more of an “I saw him and thought he was cute” than a real meeting.  We both attended 4-H camp that summer, and he was a cowboy.  Growing up on a farm and having an older sister are a couple of the main reasons that a guy in a cowboy hat always catches my attention.  Joe was, to put it bluntly, a hick.  He wore wranglers, boots, a belt buckle, and a cowboy hat.  He soon became my crush that lasted for about three years.  Every summer both of us attended the same 4-H camp, and I always watched him from a distance.  In the ninth grade we both became FFA members, and I thought, “Here’s my chance to get to know him.”  The regional contest in January at RCTC was the first time I had an actual conversation with him.  We soon got on the topic of the Regional Greenhand Camp that was being held the next weekend.  As fate would have it, we were both going!  At the beginning of the camp we both found each other and started to get to know each other better.  We were soon inseparable.  The last night of camp a dance was held, and that is when it really became obvious that we liked each other.  The next day, when we had to go home, I felt like crying the entire way back to Pine Island.  Instead, I got Joe’s e-mail address and promised to write to him the first chance I got.  As soon as I got home I sent him an e-mail, and he wrote back asking me out.  I was ecstatic!  We did not get to see each other for exactly another month.  During Valentine’s Day weekend, there was a 4-H retreat to which we both went.  We spent the weekend just trying to spend as much time together as possible.  It had been far too long since we had last seen each other.  Time seemed to fly by, and we were already heading home.  In a week or so, Joe called me and asked me if I was doing anything that weekend.  His 4-H club was going skiing at a nearby ski resort.  My parents both consented, and I got to spend the day with Joe and learned how to ski.  It was extremely fun, except for the fact that I am a terrible skier, and I was very sore for the next week.  Little did I know, that was the last night that I would be with Joe as his girlfriend.  A few weeks later we were talking online and got to talking about how hard it had been with him living in Plainview and me living in Pine Island.  It was quite a drive, and neither of us had our license.  We both agreed that it might be easier if we broke up, but still remained friends.  I was devastated, but I agreed how hard it had been to try and have a relationship with him when I only saw him twice in two and a half months.  As time passed, we patched up our relationship and are still friends to this day.  He was the first guy that I had a crush on for a long time and finally got to be called his “girlfriend.”  I still look back on our relationship and see it as a happy time.  It also made me stronger because I am still able to hang out with him and just be friends.   3

After my experience with Joe, I got yet another opportunity to meet someone.  In April, 2004, I went up north to Grygla, MN to visit my cousins and other relatives.  I always looked forward to taking trips up to Grygla, because I loved its small town atmosphere and the carefree people.  However, this trip turned out to be a little different from all of my past, family-filled weekends.  In the past few months my cousin, Robbie, and I had become closer because we were able to talk more often over the internet.  That weekend I had planned to hang out with him and his group of friends.  Throughout the weekend, I watched Robbie’s play, went to two bonfires, and a basketball tournament.  I met all of Robbie’s friends:  Daniel, Tom, Timmy, Andrew, Kyle, Adam, and many more, including Pericles.  From the moment I met him, I had a crush on him.  He and I spent the entire weekend together, and we made so many memories in so short of a time.  Every time that he and I were in a conversation, we laughed hysterically.  He was such a fun, smart, and of course, gorgeous guy!  Saying that I was obsessed with him was an understatement.  However, the weekend was much too short, and I had to leave bright and early on Monday morning.  I was already looking forward to the summer when I would be able to go to Grygla again.  I had gotten everyone’s e-mail addresses, so I could stay in contact with them.  Over the next three months I got to know all of my “Grygla boys” about 20 times better.  Pericles and I both confessed that we liked each other, and we strengthened our friendships greatly.  We talked online as often as we could, and I even called him a few times.  I soon found out that I would get to go up north in the middle of July.  I was going to be leaving on a Friday.  On the Monday of that week, I talked to my cousin online, and he told me that Pericles was going to Greece in just a few days.  I did not believe him because Robbie is the kind of person that would try and pull a prank like that on me.  However, I was still worried that he would not be there when I arrived in Grygla.  On Tuesday of that week I talked to Pericles on the phone.  He told me everything; he was actually leaving.  His father, brother, and sister had all been in Greece for the past month spending time with relatives over there.  Their entire family lived in Greece, and now his parents wanted to move there.  They wanted Pericles to finish high school in Greece, but it was not a guarantee, yet.  We did not get a chance to talk very long on the phone, but later that night we talked more online.  We talked about how he did not know when and even if he would ever come back to Grygla.  His parents were dead set on him staying in Greece for the next two years, even though he hated the idea because he had so many good friends in Grygla.  After only about 20 minutes of talking, he had to leave.  We said our final goodbyes, told each other that we would send e-mails as often and possible, and promised to never forget about each other.  Just like that he was gone.  That night I cried for four hours.  I could not believe that he was actually leaving, and after three months of waiting, I would not be able to see him.  My life seemed to spiral downhill over the next few weeks.  I went up to Grygla as planned and had a pretty fun time hanging out with everyone else, despite the fact that Pericles had just left.  In the past two and a half months that he has been gone, I have been trying to accept the fact that I might never see him again.  He has only had the chance to send two e-mails to everyone.  I will never forget him, but I will be able to move on.  “True love is like a butterfly. Once it is gone and has flown away, it is nearly impossible to recapture it,” is an anonymous quote that will always make me think of Pericles and the wonderful memories I have with him.  Having fallen in love with Pericles so fast, and then having to say bye to him all too soon, has made me a much stronger person because I can deal with very difficult situations. 4

On the other hand there always seemed to be one person that was always present in my life even through all of my crushes that I’ve had.  Because of my involvement in 4-H and FFA, I had the opportunity to meet many people, including Jeff Pagel.  We had our first encounter in the summer of 2002 at the Olmsted County Fair.  I was outside in the wash rack rinsing off my cow, and he asked me if he could use my water hose because his cow also needed to be rinsed off.  I told him that he could, and I brought my cow back inside and tied her back in her spot.  I then went back outside with a couple of my friends to see how long he would be, and that is when it started.  He did not need to rinse off his cow; instead he decided to start a water fight with my friends and me.  At the end of about 15 minutes, my friends and I were completely drenched, while he was still dry.  We tried and tried to get him back, but failed horribly.  By the end of the week, we finally gave up.  The year passed, and I did not see him again until SGLC, an FFA camp that was held in the beginning of June.  We both attended that, and I warned him to watch his back at the Olmsted County Fair come July.  That summer I decided to participate on the 4-H dairy judging team from my county; Jeff was also a member of that team.  We spent every Thursday night and any other day that we had a contest together.  We got to know each other very well, and we became very close friends.  The Olmsted County Fair came, and one night when I was filling up my water pail he walked past.  However, he did not see me; “This is my perfect chance,” I thought.  My pail was over three quarters full.  I snuck up behind him, and I dumped the water all over his back.  Payback can be the most enjoyable thing sometimes!  He was a little upset, but overall we just laughed about it for a long time.  The summer came to a close, and we said goodbye after our last dairy judging contest.  Now that we were both involved in FFA, we got to see each other at Region events and contests.  We spent time talking, remembering old times, and making new memories every time that we were together.  As the summer of 2004 approached, I found myself more and more excited to get to spend time with Jeff.  Even though I was still thinking about Pericles, I still felt like I had had a crush on Jeff on and off for the last couple of years.  In the middle of July, I ran into him one night at the Dodge County Fair.  We hung out that night, and we talked about both dairy judging again.  Dairy judging started and we were together every week.  We had so much fun at practices and contests, and we were looking forward to the Olmsted County Fair when we would get to spend the entire week hanging out.  The fair came, and we spent the entire week together.  We really grew close that week.  We spent every chance we got hanging out, and I told anyone who asked if we were an “item” that we were just very good friends.  Although deep down inside, I did want to be more than friends, and I also thought that he felt the same way.  The fair ended, but dairy judging continued.  He started to call me quite often, and we would talk for at least an hour on the phone.  He was getting excited as the State Fair approached because he had won a trip with his cow, but I had not.  It seemed as if all of my friends had gotten a trip, and they would all get to hang out for four days again, reliving the county fair.  I wanted to get to spend another four days with everyone, including Jeff.  The show day, when everyone would show their animals, was on Saturday, August 28.  I had begged, pleaded, and finally convinced my parents to take me up for the day.  I told Jeff this the day before he left, and he seemed very excited.  He told me that he would try to find a way to call me when he was up there.  I became anxious, called my cousin’s cell phone, and asked to talk to him.  I had waited long enough; I finally worked up the courage to tell him what I had wanted to tell him for quite a long time.  I said to him, “Promise me you will not have any ‘flings’ with any girls while you are up at the state fair,” and he said, “Okay, but why not?”  I then explained to him how I felt and that I really cared about him more than a friend.  He then confessed too that he had felt that way for quite a while.  Saturday came and we started officially “going out.”  I had so much fun hanging out with everyone again and spending the whole entire day with Jeff.  Over a month has passed since that day, and things are going very well between the two of us.  We have a good thing going on because we talk all the time and also have a lot in common.  Our relationship is very strong because I have been able to learn from my past relationships on what makes things work.   5

In the past years I have been strengthened by my good, and yet sometimes hard, relationships.  They have made me smarter and even given me a sense of who I am.  Joe Duden, Pericles Tsellos, and Jeff Pagel have all left an impact in my life.  They have taught me many lessons along the way, although I still have a lot of learning to do.        6