States of Mind (updated)

He glared out the window, his hands on his hips. Grey eyes that had witnessed far too much since the time they opened looked out on to the desert wasteland they had wandered for over two months but he did not see it. His mind was else where. Specifically, the place his little band of misfits would end up after they were forced to leave this place as well. And they would leave. Just a surely as the sun rose in the east.1

The glass of the window had been shot out in some sort of epic battle, or maybe just the impact from its original crash. A warm breeze, uncommon for this desert that was more prone to violent sand storms, flew past the broken glass. His hair, which hadn’t met a brush for six years, flew behind his ears. It was prematurely gray. This man was no more that twenty-five years old. 2

Twenty-Five years old exactly. Today was his birthday. The man at the window smirked at the idea. Birthdays seemed so archaic and passé in this world of almost ceaseless screams and gunfire that he lived in. He would have forgotten himself if Kaygan hadn't whispered a brief, slightly sarcastic birthday wish into his ear at dawn that morning. Kaygan was the only person in the whole group who knew his birthday, the only one who assumed he had one. In fact, now that he thought about it, he was probably the only person onboard that knew when he was born. Ages and birthdays had long become blurred in the ravages of war. It seemed strange that anyone should know when they were born. Kaygan knew him better that most people because she had been with him the longest. Kaygan was-- special to him… to say the least of it.3

"Twenty-five. Bullshit." He muttered to himself and stretched his hands out in front of him. They were gnarled and scarred like the rest of his body. His fingers shot out in odd directions the effects of young bones being broken and healing the wrong way over and over again. They didn't look like the hands a twenty-five year old ought to have. They looked like the hands of a mutilated elder, man who had seen and suffered too much. He’d been alive on this damnable planet for barely twenty-five years and it seemed more like fifty.4

Listen to me…He thought ruefully, Getting old makes me nostalgic.5

"Holland?" a high girlish voice called to him, "Are you ok?"6

He couldn’t help it. He jumped and made a quick grab for his gun before Holland realized who it was. The girl was thin, waif like even, with long sun colored hair tied back into a high pony tail, the newest of their company. She’d flushed bright red when he reached for the gun and he leaned it back against the wall irritably. 7

"Nell, what the hell are you doing in here?" Holland did not even raise his voice to her but it was common knowledge that, no matter where they lived, you did not disturb Holland or surprise him when he was alone. Nell had learned this on her first day with the company and she fidgeted nervously under his intense glare. It wasn’t her fault she was here. She’d been sent.8

"Kaygan wants you. She's in the control room. I think something’s up."  She spoke in fast, controlled sentences and left immediately after delivering the message. He smirked slightly and wondered how long he would be able to intimidate Nell with out even trying. He hadn’t intimidated Kaygan for years, even when he yelled and screamed at her and it took all his shouts and cutting tones to get even a decently respectful response out of the other three in their company. He sighed then, rubbing at his temples and trying to prepare for whatever Kaygan had in store for him. He was getting way too old for this shit.9

***10

Kaygan sat pensively, her nose resting on her clasped fingers as though she were praying. She stared out on to the barren landscape of the Arizona and her tongue ran along the top of her mouth. It was dry, just like the desert. It had been only a few weeks since they found this place, an old spaceship, an ancient relic from before the third world war, in the middle of the desert, surrounded by high cliffs and it looked as though they would now have to leave again. Maybe the next place they lived would be more temperate.11

The small whoosh of sliding metal doors made her look up and Holland entered. She smiled slightly but his mouth remained set in a tight line. He was their fearless leader, always strong, silent and frowning. Kaygan laughed a little to herself. She was one of the few people who had ever seen him smile, though god knew she didn’t see it a lot. She had once heard DJ wonder, out loud to Nell, if Holland’s facial muscles could move like that.12

“So what’s up?” Holland asked dryly and Kaygan realized with a blush that she had\ been staring at him for a good minute and a half, “Nell said you had something to tell me.”13

“A Rame squad has been spotted just north of here.” she said quickly, moving her dark hair out of her face, “About forty kilometers.”14

“Who gave you this information?” Holland asked, not loosing his cool for a minute. Kaygan hated the desert. He found it hard to imagine her wandering around in it, looking for slave catchers.15

“Izacc.”16

“Is he around? I’d like to hear exactly what he saw.”17

“He’s asleep.”18

“Wake him up.”19

Kaygan rolled her eyes. They had known each other six years and he still treated her like a small child he could boss around. Still, she pressed the red button the wall that triggered the ship’s communication device.20

“Izacc?”21

“What?” a surly voice, typical of the human male in his late adolescence, answered her, “Damn it all, Kaygan, you said I could sleep.”22

“You slept already.” Holland barked, “Get up and get over to the control room. I want to hear your report.”23

“Jesus, Holland-”24

“Now!”25

Izacc’s response was a few muffled grumblings, in which the only intelligible words were curses and the sound of an automatic door closing. Kaygan sat down across the table from Holland again and he regarded her. If he was twenty five today, that would make her about twenty two. Not many people knew the exact date of their birthdays so ages were always "about" or "around". Kaygan was one of the lucky ones. Most women, they had either a husband or an owner by sixteen at the oldest, were pregnant with their first child by seventeen, again at the oldest, and dead by twenty. Kaygan had escaped that dark fate and Holland liked to imagine he had something to do with it.26

Kaygan’s skin was black. It shone in the sunlight of the desert as did her eyes. Her eyes were a crisp light blue color. They were almond in shape with an upward slight crease at the ends. Her hair was also black and she wore it down so it cascade down her blue sleeveless t-shirt, ending at her-27

“You’re staring at my breasts again, Holland.” Kaygan said with a smirk.28

Holland prayed he didn’t go red. He had never been much of a blusher, not even in his younger days but Kaygan always had the capacity to embarrass him.29

He was saved by the arrival of Izacc. The boy was about fifteen years old, dark skinned but lighter than Kaygan. He had black hair as well, that shot up at odd angles in all directions. His brown shirt, gray originally, hung open, displaying his chest and an empty sleeve which should have contained his right arm hung limp at his side. On his forehead, Izacc wore a pair of brown goggles and beneath those; his eyes were brown and irritated.30

“Ready to report, SIR!” He stood at full attention and saluted.31

“Kaygan tells me you saw a Rame squad near here.” Holland stood and walked towards the boy, his heavy black boots making an impressive noise on the tile floor.32

“SIR! THAT IS CORRECT, SIR!”33

“Put your arm down.” Holland said, “And tell me what you saw without the sarcasm if you don’t mind.”34

“No problem.” Izacc smirked, dropping the fake army demeanor, “I was out this morning, just to get some fresh air, you know? DJ and Nell were still asleep so I went on my own. It was just over that ridge to the north that I saw ‘em.”35

“How many?”36

“Forty, maybe fifty men that I saw. It was pretty far away but the big thing you should know about it is that they had a M.G.U.”37

“Mobile Government Unit?” Holland raised an eyebrow, “Those weren’t Rame.”38

Izacc shook his head, “No, they were definitely Rame. They had the three tails.”39

Three tails, representing the three principals of Rame, catch, sell and retrieve. Holland shuddered. “So the government is working with Rame, is it?” he murmured more to himself than the others, “Alright, then, it settled.” Holland spoke in his usual tone of authority, “We move out tonight.”40

“Tonight?” Kaygan stared at him, “Are you sure that’s a good idea, Holland? If they catch us out alone…”41

“I know.” Holland nodded, “But we have to risk it. If there as close as you say-” He looked at Izacc who nodded, “then it’s only a matter of time before they find this place. They might already know about it. I’m surprised we haven’t been attacked yet.”42

“But-”43

“If they catch us in the open,” Holland said tersely, “then we’ll scatter. We’ll head south, to the mountains. There’s enough crags in those cliffs to hide an army, much less six people.”44

Kaygan began to protest but Holland gave her a look that said, “Not in front of the boy.”45

He turned to Izacc. “Tell the others, DJ, Nell. We leave as soon as it’s dark enough. Take only the bare necessities and-”46

“And not a lot of those, I know, Holland.” Izacc smirked, “Can I go now?”47

“Yeah, go.” Holland said, “Get some sleep after you’re done.”48

“I was hoping we could stay here for a while.” Kaygan said, after Izacc was gone.49

Holland said nothing but she knew he had been thinking the same thing. This was the kind of place he thought they would never find them in. Out in the middle of a desert that hadn’t been occupied for at least two hundred years, why would the government and Rame follow them here?50

“Six years…” She whispered softly.51

“I know.” Holland closed his eyes. For six years they had been together, in one way or another, looking for the same thing. Ever since forever, as the saying went, the world had been insane. Maybe it was two world wars, one that destroyed the American Empire and the other that rebuilt it, this time under the simple title of World. Or perhaps it was the changes in the environment. For while the government of the World thrived, the earth and the people suffered. The oceans had expanded; California was gone as was most of the east coast and parts of Oregon, Washington and the Baja peninsula. Meanwhile everything south of Kansas until Brazil and west of Arkansas was a desert and everything north of southern Manitoba in the nation formerly known as Canada was covered in snow.52

And so chaos ensued. Slavery was reinstituted as a viable way to make a living. The World Government was a front. Everything was run by thugs and criminals. If you were a boy, born to poverty, you were either a slave or a soldier. If you were a girl and pretty, you got to be a wife or at least a concubine, if not you were a slave. Either way, chances were you were raped at some point in your life. People starved, people were shot for no reason… the world was madness…so Holland and Kaygan sought sanity.53

“I’d better go pack.” She rose, deciding that he would not say what she had hoped to hear. Holland had never been the type to express his emotions forcefully, or even out loud.54

“Actually, I was hoping you’d come talk to Zacharee with me.” Holland looked up at her. She glanced back at him and sighed.55

“I suppose that’s the most I’m going to get.” She said, more to herself than to Holland.56

“Hey…” He stood up, stepping close against her body so she could feel the heat of his breath, “You know how I feel.”57

“Do I?” Kaygan whispered sadly, her fingers sliding slowly up his taunt muscled arm in spite of herself, “You’ve never said anything.”58

“That’s because there aren’t words.”59

“What about Love?”60

Holland said nothing. In this world, even Love had become polluted. What he felt for Kaygan was…deeper… more pronounced than a simple four letters bunched together. Love was a joke, little more than sex now. Any sort of love he’d witnessed was poison; the “love” his parents had shared was death… nothing like what he felt with Kaygan. What he felt with Kaygan had no name.61

“We’d better get going.” She broke her hold on him and the spell created with her words. She turned quickly and Holland followed in silence, wondering if he would pay for this later.62

***63

They had first met Zacharee; found was a better word, in a back woods swamp in Kentucky. They estimated his age at around nineteen but he looked old. Zacharee had obviously been mistreated in his childhood and it was the opinion of nearly everyone who knew him that he was slightly insane. He’d been shot once, underneath his right eye, making it blind and chalky white. He spoke in a high pitched, nervous voice and twitched constantly. He was tall and lanky with short ghost white hair and bright red eyes.64

Since they had come to the desert, almost three months ago, and found the abandoned space craft from before the fourth world war, Zacharee had been the research lab of the ship. This was where they found him, sitting in an old spindly chair, knee deep in papers, muttering to himself.65

“Zacharee.” Holland was the first to speak.66

“Holland…” Zach craned his long neck to look at his visitors, “Holland. Holland, Holland, Holland. Hol. land. Hol L. And. Holl. And.”67

“Zacharee!” Kaygan snapped, taking her irritation out on the boy.68

He looked at her and blinked as though this were the first time he was aware of her existence in the universe. He ran his tongue across white teeth, that ran scarred and ragged across his gums from years of eat god knew what in the swamps of Kentucky and said.69

“Kaygan. Kay. Gan. Holl. And. Kay. Gan. Holl and Kay Gan.” He swiveled his chair to face them, “What brings you here?”70

“Izacc saw Rame in Government vehicles about forty kilometers.”71

“Izacc… I Zacc. I Zacharee!” He giggled; seemingly unaware of the dangers they were in. If the Rame caught them, Holland and Kaygan would both almost certainly be killed for crimes against the world government and Izacc, DJ, Nell and Zacharee himself would be sold back into slavery. This was often the way with Zach.72

“Um… yes…” Holland shifted uncomfortably and Kaygan had to laugh at the contrast between the two. Zacharee was the closest man in age to Holland among them and yet they were as different as night and day. Zacharee lived in a childlike world of innocence, playing word games with himself, adept almost instantly at every technological system. On the other hand, Holland had never been a child and most advanced weapons he used were his fist and a long black gun, kept constantly at his shoulder.73

“I need you to strip the ship before we move out, alright?” Holland said, regaining his stride, “Take everything that can be used as a weapon out. We’ll carry the less cumbersome with us and destroy or hide the rest. We can’t give them anymore ammunition.”74

“Ammunition, weapons, guns.” Zacharee muttered, rubbing his temples sadly, “Lots of wars and no more funs…” He stood, an avalanche of papers crashed to the floor, and wadded through the mess, murmuring to himself, “Such a shame, shame, shame. Good ship. Good shame. Ship. Good Ship. Shame, shame, shame.”75

“Do you think there’s something… wrong with him?” Kaygan asked after he had left. There had been no change in Zacharee since they found him a little more than five years ago and she had always wondered… did something happen to that boy, in his mysterious and almost certainly chaotic past that made him the way he was?76

“There’s something wrong with all of us…” Holland said, half to himself, then, noticing her look, continued, “Oh, you mean is he… mentally damaged?”77

She nodded.78

“I don’t think so.” He said musing, “Zach’s a little strange but he knows a lot more than he lets on. You can’t blame him for wanting to escape the world for a little.”79

“I guess not.” Kaygan stiffened and Holland knew he’d said the wrong thing again. She began to leave the room without a word but he would be damned if he let things stay that way between them, especially on his birthday!80

“Hey!” Holland whispered, soft but firm, catching her arm at the elbow. Kaygan’s dark eyes narrowed; if there was one thing she hated it was being man handled. Her pink lips parted to scold him but before she could speak, Holland pushed her with his body up against the wall of the room. Her reproaches died at her lips and she felt his breath prickle against her skin as he whispered again, “I don’t want to escape, alright? I want to be with you, in all this psychotic bullshit we live in, I want to be with you!”81

She melted at his words and under his touch. Her only answer was to press her aching lips against him and force her tongue into his mouth. Holland responded in kind and his free hand traveled down her side, ending up at her thigh, cloaked in faded and torn blue jeans. She, in turn, lifted her arms up and around him, caressing the back of his neck.82

“Holland?” A voice called his name from the hall way. Neither of them could tell who it was, Zacharee or Nell or one of the Twins, but it didn’t matter. They broke apart and Holland ran his fingers through his hair, muttering swear words. Kaygan smiled.83

“We’d better go.” She said, ruefully.84

“Why?” Holland turned back to her, kissing her again on the neck.85

She sighed to prevent herself from laughing and tried half heartedly to push him away. “They’ll find us eventually.”86

“They need to learn how to knock anyway.” His kisses moved up her neck and against her cheek.87

“Holland…”88

“What, Kaygan?” He glared at her through half closed eyes, “It’s not like we’ve made a secret out of this whole thing.”89

“No but-”90

“Then what’s the problem?” He sighed as though he were talking to an irrational child and returned to kissing her. Kaygan pushed him gently aside.91

“I’m not that kind of girl.” She said, skipping away from him.92

“You. Are. Exactly that kind of girl.” Holland followed, vainly attempting to circle his arms around her.93

“No…” She allowed him to slip around her waist but prevented his kisses with one impervious hand, “But I will be tonight.”94

“Tonight?” He repeated.95

“Tonight.” Kaygan nodded and closed in around him, “When we’re safe again, with the Rame far, far away from us.”96

“Now. Today. In grave danger with the Rame closing in on every corner.”97

“No.” She pushed him away again and this time he stayed, sulking at a distance. She smiled again, it was the most emotional she had seen him today. Kaygan backed out of the room, least he sneak up behind her in a way that made her completely lose all reason, “Tonight.” She promised and Holland regarded her retreating form with the ghost of a smile.98

“Tonight.” He agreed. 99

***100

“Is everyone ready?” Kaygan’s voice was soft in the growing darkness but everyone could hear her. They were all assembled out by the ship, Holland, stoic as usual, shouldering his large black gun, Zacharee, twitchy and nervous at being outside, Izacc and his twin DJ and Nell, the youngest. They nodded.101

“Nell, your pack’s too big.” Holland looked at the girl, little more than fourteen, “Through some of that shit out.”102

“Holland…” Nell’s voice got whinny and pleading, “Zacharee said you told him to blow up the ship… I don’t want all my stuff gone…”103

“It’s your stuff or you.” Holland said shortly.104

“It won’t be all your stuff.” Kaygan comforted the girl, at the same time glaring at Holland, “Just most of it. Come on, we don’t have much time.”105

Nell gingerly picked through her backpack, occasionally casting puppy dog glances that so easily wrapped the twins around her finger in Holland’s direction, and threw quite a few objects back towards the ship. Holland nodded when he felt she’d reached the bare minimum and then told them to move out.106

“Now you all remember the plan?” He asked, searching their faces.107

“Stay together unless we’re attacked.” Izacc said.108

“Scatter when we’re attacked.” DJ was the mirror image of his brother except for the different clothes, slightly longer black hair and he was missing his left arm instead of him right.109

“Meet up again later on in the hills.” The blonde girl finished sulkily, “We’ve done this before.”110

“If you meet any Rame-”111

“Run, don’t attack!” The three youngest chimed in unison and Kaygan smiled. Holland, however, did not.112

“Let’s move out.”113

They had walked for about an hour when Izacc stopped. They walked single file to hide their number with Holland in the front followed by DJ, Nell, Izacc, Zacharee and Kaygan in the rear. The only sound in all the desert was the sound of sand crushing beneath their feet so they noticed when one of them paused in confusion.114

“Holland? Did you see that?”115

Holland looked up. His mind had been else where but Izacc’s voice was low with tension. They all stopped and looked at him.116

“See what?”117

Izacc wore goggles because he had the best vision of anyone in the group and he was constantly worried that one day he would get sand in his eyes and ruin it. He removed them now and looked at Holland with worried eyes, “Flash of metal.” He pointed, “Up on that ridge.”118

Holland squinted. His eyes quite often became unfocused and he couldn’t see very clearly from a long ways away but what he lacked in vision, he made up for in hearing. At that moment, he heard the click of a safety being removed. He looked back at the group and saw Kaygan, gripping her cloak tightly around herself, waiting for orders. So were the rest of them.119

“Get down!”120

As if on cue a barrage of gunfire opened upon them as soon as they hit the ground. Zacharee faltered, confused at the sudden change, and Kaygan had to pull him t the ground with her. The twins protected each other and Nell with their free arms and Holland reached for his gun. Thankfully, the Rame were mainly untrained hillbillies with no real experience in warfare. Holland had been being shot at since he was nineteen.121

“Is everyone okay?” He asked when the bullets stopped temporally. They nodded and Nell cried softly. She was the only one who had never been shot at before. It wasn’t something anyone should get used to, Holland thought, sadly.122

“Alright.” He said, “Stick low to the ground and move as fast as you can to the wall of the valley. Don’t stop and try to be as small as possible.”123

They did as he told them but Holland did not move. Instead he waited as they passed with his hand on the trigger. The gun had been with him longer than Kaygan, a gift from his late and unlamented sperm donor. When Kaygan passed, her hand pressing hard on Zacharee’s back to keep him from panicking and running, she stopped and stared at him.124

“What are you doing?”125

“Waiting.”126

“Holland…” Her voice was exasperated, pleading.127

“Why do you think they stopped shooting, Kaygan?” He asked quickly, “They’ve recognized us. You, me… they want the bounty.”128

“So you’re just going to let yourself get captured?”129

Holland shook his head and patted the gun. “No.” He said with a smile.130

Kaygan nodded and turned to Zacharee, “Zach, I want you to go ahead with the others. Stay down. I’ll come later.”131

“Kaygan…” Holland glared at her, though it wasn’t entirely unexpected.132

“Go, Zach.” And for once Zacharee went in silence. Kaygan turned to face the enemy at Holland’s side. Her weapon of choice was much more primitive than his. A long silver spear that, in times of peace, she used as a waking stick. But then, for Kaygan and Holland and the rest of their band of outcasts and runaway slaves, there were no times of peace. Only the absence of war. 133

“Kaygan, get out of here.” Holland whispered, gripping her hand in the few moments of silence before the enemy arrived.134

“No.” She squeezed his hand tighter, “I don’t want to escape, alright? I won’t leave you… in all this psychotic bullshit we live in, I want to be with you!”135

“Evil woman.” He muttered into the sand, “I was just trying to get laid.”136

“I know.”137

“We could die.”138

Kaygan lifted his hand in hers and kissed it softly, watching him. “I know.”139

They stood at the sound of approaching footsteps. Holland shouldered his father’s gun and Kaygan lifted her spear. The first few fell under Holland’s bullets but they were little more than foot soldiers. Those that were important, the ones that his gunshots missed, were left for Kaygan and she welcomed them, weaving in and out of their ranks, plucking the life from them like ripe grapes. Holland didn’t dare to shoot the ones that got past him for fear of hitting her but Kaygan stuck close to his back side, making sure there was no attack.140

“This isn’t going to work.” Holland reminded her as one of the enemy’s bullets whizzed past his ear.141

“Holland, SHUT UP!” Kaygan shouted over the din and hopped away from him to take a more active part in the fray.142

He couldn’t tell how long they fought. He knew that they’d held their own until he heard Kaygan screamed. Holland had only heard Kaygan scream five times in the six years they had been traveling together and those were only the times when everything went entirely to shit. He turned, still firing and hollered wildly, “KAYGAN! KAYGAN!”143

“Holland!” Kaygan’s voice was far away and muffled. Punching and shooting his way thorough the Rame, he caught a glimpse of her. The spear was gone from her hands and Rame circled around her, dragging her deeper into the throng. Only one arm was free and it reached out to him144

“HOLLAND!” Kaygan’s scream was the last thing he heard before darkness over took him.145

***146

“Bodies… so many bodies… so many bodies, Daddy, so many bodies.” Holland had fully expected to wake up in a Rame camp, surrounded by enemies, about to be sold to the highest bidder or at least the government with Kaygan nowhere to be found. Either that or not wake up at all. Both were equally probable in his mind. What he didn’t expect was Zacharee’s voice, moaning and scared, coming through the darkness.147

Holland opened his eyes. The towheaded boy sat a few feet away, his arms circled around his knees, rocking back and forth. As he tried to process this, Holland became acutely aware of the sharp pain in his head.148

“So many bodies…” Zacharee muttered. Holland blinked and took the time to view his surroundings. Where ever they were, it wasn’t a Rame camp. The desert had disappeared and was replaced with a long and lonely cavern. The walls of this cave were goldish tan like the sand of the desert and covered in stalagmites. Zach sat on one of these, mumbling to himself. No else was there.149

“Zach? Zacharee?” Holland’s voice cracked from the dryness of his mouth.150

The boy paid no attention.151

“Zacharee?” He sat up and crawled towards the boy; he did not yet trust his legs, “What’s going on?”152

“So many bodies… there were so many bodies. I’m sorry, Daddy, I’m so sorry.”153

“Zach!” Holland shook him harshly on the shoulder, “Zach! What happened?”154

Zacharee turned a tear stained face towards Holland. His eyes were red and puffy and his mouth moved in silence before he could find the words to speak.155

“Holland… there were so many bodies. The Rame… I didn’t know what to do. Kaygan said run, go to the others, but the others were fighting too. DJ, Izacc and Nell… all fighting. Holland and Kaygan fighting too. Zacharee in the middle, trying to keep low, trying to keep quiet.” He shuddered inwardly, “Then Kaygan screamed and Holland fell and I had to help. Had to help Holland. Couldn’t save Kaygan, they took her and ran and Zacharee ran to with Holland on his back, to the cliffs, like Holland said.156

“What about the others? Izacc and Nell and DJ?”157

“Don’t know, don’t know, don’t ASK!” Zacharee clenched his knees closed, “Gone, all gone, DJ and Nell and Kaygan and Izacc…so many bodies… so many bodies…”158

“Shh… Zach, its okay.” Holland glanced nervously at the opening of the cave. Something had come alive in Zach when he heard Kaygan scream. Something that had not been seen since they took him away from where they’d found him about four years ago. Zach had lived most of his life, as far as Holland could tell, in a lonely tree house in the back woods of Kentucky with his father’s corpse in the middle of the floor. They didn’t know it was his father’s, they just assumed, but Zacharee had lived in holy fear of it until Holland and Kaygan took him away, referring to the skeleton as Daddy. The sprit of Daddy or the animal nature in which Zach appeared to have been raised seemed to have come back that night. Whatever it was what kept Holland alive.159

“Zacharee, you did fine. You saved my life.” He attempted to speak in a firm but comforting voice that was usually reserved for Kaygan, “Do you know what happened to the others?”160

“No, no…” He wept harder and shoved his face into his knees.161

An almost inhuman scream penetrated the stillness Zach’s sobs left in the cave. Holland flinched and looked around for his gun. He found it and, leaning against it like a cane; his leg hurt him considerably, and walked to the opening of the cave. It didn’t take him long to figure out where the sound was coming from. Directly below when, among the crags and cliffs that made up this particular mountain range, the sound shot up to him, a low moaning and unintelligible words. Holland looked down.162

“DJ!”163

The boy’s brown eyes and skin were streaked with tears as he looked up at the sound of Holland’s voice. His hair was longer than his brother’s and he worn a white undershirt which openly displayed the stump of his left arm. He was dirtier that usual, quite the accomplishment for DJ who was usually the cleaner of the twins. His nose was running and his cheeks were red.164

“Holland…” His voice was strangled and empty. Holland disregarded his leg and slide down the rocks to where DJ stood.165

“I lost Izacc…” The first words out of the boy’s mouth when Holland reached him, “I couldn’t stop them… they came out so fast and we got separated! They took him… they took Nell. I couldn’t stop them… I couldn’t help. I lost Izacc… I lost my brother…”166

The weight of the boy’s sobbing body was heavy against him. Holland raised his arms weakly, knowing that there was nothing he could say to comfort the boy. DJ and Izacc had always been together, so much that it was hard to imagine them apart and yet… here they were. DJ’s body shook with grief and guilt and his breath came in huge gasps.167

“Dee Jay…” Zacharee approached, mumbling, “Dee Jay’s alive… Dee Jay’s okay…”168

“Zach?” Neither of the boys had ever been close to Zach. He was generally afraid of people but DJ broke from Holland's grasp and they embraced, each so glad that the other was alive.169

Holland stood alone, leaning against the gun, and watched the two boys comfort each other, though he could see nothing comforting about the words they shared.170

“I lost Izacc…”171

“So many bodies…”172

“I couldn’t stop them…”173

“Couldn’t stop it…”174

“DJ.” Holland spoke up.175

“W-what?” DJ looked over his shoulder, his face stained with tears.176

“Did you see where they took Izacc and Nell? Which direction they were going?”177

“No…” DJ shook his head, “But Izacc…” He swallowed hard, “Izacc said something about a M.G.U. Do you think he’s there, Holland?” A visible glimmer of hope shot through the boy, “Do you think they’re alive?”178

“This is Rame we’re talking about, DJ.” Holland reminded him, “They don’t kill unless there’s no other choice. They’re in the business of catch, sell and retrieve.”179

DJ shuddered, thinking about his brother alone and captive, sent back to the life, they’d risked so much to escape.180

“Kaygan had a price on her head.” He continued breaking into his usual quick witted stride, “And one of them must have recognized me so they won’t leave too soon…181

“Holland?” DJ and Zacharee stared at him, wide eyed and open mouthed, “What are we going to do?”182

Holland thought for a moment. It was his usual course of action to run. Despite his physical aspects and skill with a variety of weapons, he did not seek open conflict with the Rame… simply trying to avoid them proved trouble enough. All he’d ever wanted was peace. Somewhere he could lay down at night with out worrying about waking up to the barrel of a gun but… hadn’t he promised Kaygan that he would stay with her? Would good would peace be to him, if Kaygan was not there? What good would peace be to DJ if he lost his brother and Zacharee, to whom this small band of misfits was the closest thing he ever got to a real family.183

“Holland?” DJ repeated his eyes desperate for some sort of action that might save his brother, “What are we going to do?”184

“Something new for us.” Holland smiled, that same smile he used whenever he knew there was a ninety nine percent chance they would all be killed, “We’re taking on the Rame.”
***
{Flash back}
Kaygan’s arm was bleeding. She had never been so terrified in all her life, nor had she ever run this hard. 185

“She went this way, I’m sure of it! Somebody bring the dogs!”186

Her legs felt like they were going to fall off. Kaygan pressed herself up against a tree and shivered at the sound of barking dogs. She was sixteen and she was about to die. Die or be married. She couldn’t think which would be worse.187

Kaygan shivered. Why, oh why, had she run? Where did she think she would go, even if she escaped from the transport? She had been raised in New York, up north, where would she go in former Georgia? 188

She wished her father were there. If he had stayed alive, none of this would have happened... He died six months ago and since then, her life had been hell. One of the last good men on the planet, her father had died of cancer and the societal rules that stated a man’s family is his property passed Kaygan and her mother into the hands of the state. Little more than reprocessed objects, sold off to the highest bidder. Kaygan had been bought as a concubine of the oil farmer in Georgia.189

She stiffened at the sound of approaching footsteps and knew that she couldn’t run any more with any hope of escape. Kaygan had never run so far in her life, it seemed. She inhaled deeply and smelled the sick scent of blood. A scent she had come to know so well in the few she had come to know so well in the few long weeks she spent on the slave caravan. Every time one of the other prisoners tried to escape, or mouthed off or simply drew attention to themselves, they were beaten. Never enough to kill, never enough to cripple, just enough to break.190

Kaygan wondered what it would feel like and quickly swallowed the vomit that filled her mouth. Her father had never raised a hand against her…she wished now that he had. Perhaps it would be easier if she were used to it.191

The scent got closer. She shivered and drew her garments closer to her. Why had she run?! They were only a few miles out away from the Canola Plantation where she would become the planter’s third wife. Only a few hours really. She had been dressed in a flimsy thing, a see through pink shawl covering a blue shirt at least two sizes too small for her. Her mid drift was bare except for the shawl and her legs were covered to the knees by a slightly thicker pick skirt. Apparently it went with her skin tone and made her look virginal. Apparently that was what was wanted in a wife. 192

The scent of blood was so close she could taste it. Kaygan closed her eyes and braced herself for the on coming deluge of pain.193

“Who the hell are you?”194

The voice was not one of her captor’s. It was younger than theirs, soft, breathless and harsh. Harsh but not cruel. She opened her eyes and glanced to where the voice came from.195

“I said, who are you?!” It was a boy that spoke. His skin was light as her mother’s had been but it was freckled and sun burned in the moonlight. Light brown hair straggled down to his ears and he glared at her through storm like eyes.196

“Are you deaf?!” He demanded, brandishing a large black gun in her face.197

“My name is Kaygan Mishoto.” She whispered urgently, “Please do not shout.”198

“Why?” The boy asked, still hostile but he’d lowered his voice at the least.199

Kaygan strained her ears for the sounds of dogs, “I ran away from them. They will find me and hurt me, at the very least. I’m hoping to avoid that as long as possible.”200

“Who’s they?” The boy asked, lowering his weapon grudgingly to stare into her face, “Rame?”201

“No. The Ryecan Trading Society.” She blinked softly, hoping to catch her tears in her eyelids.202

The boy had crouched down beside her like an animal in order to get a better look. He seemed to be taking her in, her skin, her garments, her eyes and her soul. She looked at him. He was dressed in a grey shirt and sweats. The type of clothing usually reserved for slaves but his were spattered with blood. The boy himself seemed to have no wounds and Kaygan wondered if she might not have been better off with the traders.203

“You’re brand new, aren’t you?” he whispered in an awed tone.204

“They’re taking me to my husband.” She pulled the shawl closer around her shoulders warily, “He’s a Canola farmer, south of here. A very powerful man.”205

The words had their desired affect. The boy leaned back and was once again suspicious. His grey eyes narrowed and he repeated, “Your husband?”206

“Future Husband.” She corrected and immediately, swore at her father’s memory for teaching her the “value of honesty”. If she’d only been taught to lie, maybe she would live passed the next few minutes. Maybe not. She had absolutely no idea who this boy was. Even if she had, it wouldn’t have made much of a difference. With the exception of her father, Kaygan had never known a kind man, or at the least a decent man. Those who had worked for Sena Mishoto had never touched her, their master dealt harshly with those who threatened his family, but she had seen how they watched her, sweaty and unblinking as she moved through the crystalline walls of her old home…207

She blinked back tears, trying to suppress the memory. The boy still stared at her with growing incredulity and she glared back at him, her old, almost forgotten pride riled again.208

“What are you staring at?!” Kaygan demanded, in the tone of voice she usually reserved for servants, “I suppose you’ve never cried, have you, you awful little…boy!”209

The boy raised one off his eyebrows and stood up to his full height. He towered over her, blocking the moon with his great bulk. “Boy?” He repeated in a tone that only infuriated her more with its mocking.210

Kaygan stood as well and flipped her hair defiantly. It was high up in a long pony tail which was also, apparently, supposed to add to her virginal appearance. The traders were far from her mind now. It amazed her, when she thought about it later, how trivial her soon to be pain was in the face of this damned boy and his… arrogance. He still towered over her, a good three feet, and Kaygan’s eyes narrowed.211

“Aye!” She said again, not caring if her voice carried, “Boy!”212

“I’m older than you by a sight, I’d wager.” To her indignation, the bastard seemed to be enjoying himself, his lips cracking into a smile.213

“How old are you?” Kaygan demanded.214

“Nineteen.” The boy’s smile grew.215

Damn.216

“And you are?”217

“Sixteen.”218

He scoffed, “You’re a child! Who’s your husband supposed to be?”219

“Adam McAlister.” Kaygan shivered at the name. His third wife. The first Mrs. McAlister was dead and the second was… inadequate for the farmer’s purposes. She could not have children. McAlister was almost fifty years old, Kaygan doubted the woman’s lack of children was entirely her fault. 220

The boy was affected buy the name as well, though it was hard to tell. He blinked and smiled slightly, shouldering his gun.221

“What?”222

“I’m sorry to be the one to tell you this…” He didn’t sound sorry at all, “but Adam McAlister is dead.”223

Kaygan said nothing. Relief swam through her like a cold breeze. There was no proof he wasn’t lying but, some how she knew it was true. In the back of her mind, Kaygan knew it was only a temporary reprieve. She was safe, for all intents and purposes, for a couple of weeks at best, until she was sold off again. They might have to knock the price down a little, runaway wives were not often as popular as those who knew their place, but that wouldn’t stop some one bidding for her. She was after all, still a virgin.224

“Dead?” She repeated breathlessly, “How? For how long?”225

“I killed him.” The boy replied, his face expressionless, “About three hours ago.”226

She was too grateful to be really afraid. It was not as though things between her and this boy had changed much, even if he was the deciding factor of her freedom. The likelihood that he was a murderer was always there. Who wasn’t in this world? And anyway, it didn’t really matter if he hurt her, death would be quick and then… everything would be over. All the running, the hiding, the violence and fear…all over. Death would be a relief. She might even thank him. Thank him for releasing her from the pain… the uncertainty…227

“Get down on the ground!” He command in a sharp tone.228

Kaygan sighed but obeyed; “Are you going to ravish me?”229

“No!” He stared at her, one eye brow raised; an insulted expressed covering his face, “I just don’t want to kill you!”230

“Why would you-”231

“Shh!” His eyes narrowed and he lifted the gun again, “Those people who brought you; who were they?”232

“The Ryecan Trading-”233

“They’re coming…”234

And then they were there. Kaygan barely had time to think before the bullets began to fly. The boy knew a thing or two about killing. He handled the gun like a pro, like the soldiers had when the government came to inspect her father’s house. The Ryecan had seemed so terrifying but compared to this boy, they were nothing. They fell down in a barrage of his bullets before they even pulled the triggers of their guns. The boy shot with out expression, no battle cries, no drama of any kind, as though he were merely taking care of a troublesome chore. He killed so ruthlessly but Kaygan was not afraid. Rather she admired him, the way he protected himself, the way he depended on no one.235

“I think that’s all of them.” He lowered the gun and wiped his forehead with the back of his wrist, “How many were with you?”236

“Twenty, twenty five.” Kaygan whispered, not quite able to remember the exact number, “I was the last drop off on schedule”237

“There are about nineteen here.” He said, counting the dead, “The others will be coming soon. We’d better make tracks if we want to avoid them.”238

“We?”239

He stretched out his hand, offering it to her, “You didn’t really think I was going to rape you, did you?”240

She took it and pulled herself up, “It’s not unheard of.”241

“You used some really stupid word too.” He raised his eyebrows, “Ravish… what century do you think this is?”242

“Shut up.”243

“My name’s Holland.” He smiled at her. It was the first time she had seen him smile genuinely and Kaygan smiled back.244

“Hi.” She whispered, and all around them, blood began to seep into the dirt.245

***246

When she woke up it was cold and the world lay in darkness. Kaygan blinked and in a moment she knew that she was conscious. She’d had a dream… no, a remembering, about the day… or night more accurately, when she first met Holland. Where was Holland now? Kaygan dismissed the worrying thought immediately and focused on a far more important question; where was she?247

She lay still, knowing enough not to call out until she was sure of her surroundings. As her eyes adjusted to the darkness, Kaygan became aware of a small choking sound. It came in short, soft gasps, very quick succession and it took her a moment to realize that someone was crying.248

“H-hey…” Kaygan murmered softly. Her throat felt dry but at least she knew this was a friend. The Rame did not cry.249

“Kaygan!” Nell’s voice echoed in the cold room and the weight of the girl’s arms was so sudden around her neck that it startled her, “You’re awake!”250

“Yes…” She coughed slightly and allowed herself to pull the girl closer, savoring the notion that at least someone was still alive, “Nell, where are we?”251

“The Rame caught us.”252

“Yes, I gathered that. Where are we?”253

“In the M.G.U.” Nell shook her head, never letting go of Kaygan, “That’s what Izacc said.”254

“Where is Izacc?” Kaygan glanced around the cell, a worried expression on her face.255

“I don’t know!” The girl burst back into uncontrolled sobbing, “I don’t know! They took him away when we got here and then again about an hour ago. And we don’t know what happened to DJ or Holland or Zach and-”256

“Shh… Shh!” Kaygan commanded softly, “Holland’s fine. So are the others.”257

She couldn’t say quite how she knew Holland was alive. It was just a certainty in her mind. Holland was immortal and he would do what ever it took to protect those boys. She glanced out the solitary window of the cell and confirmed her suspicions. They were still in the desert and they weren’t moving. The Rame- or the government, which ever held them captive; it did not really matter- knew Holland was with them and they knew he was alive. That was why they stuck around. The price on her lover’s head was difficult to ignore. She wasn’t sure what had happened to the other two but if they were alive they would stay that way because Holland was with them.258

“Nell…” She said softly, “I need you to believe me. Everything is going to be alright. Know that. Do you understand? Everything is going to be alright?”259

Nell nodded, her blue eyes frightened.260

“I need you calm, Nell.” Kaygan continued, “I need you to answer my questions. What happened?”261

Nell’s lower lip trembled and her story burst forward like water through flood gates. The Rame had come out of nowhere, pouring down around them, DJ and Izacc had fought, Nell had froze, they’d protected her;262

“It’s my fault we’re here.” She sobbed, “I didn’t do anything! I should have helped them! Then- we got separated…they all came at us at once. I couldn’t see anything but the Rame, their hands and there bodies… smashing up against me.” She shivered and struggled to regain what little composure she had. 263

“When I opened my eyes, we were in a convoy. You were unconscious and Izacc was still fighting. He kept shouting and swearing at them and calling for Holland and DJ and finally, one of the Rame got too irritated so... he took a rock- and- slammed it into Izacc’s head and he fell down and I was trying to stay quiet, just hoping they wouldn’t do anything to me but- when I saw him fall- I thought he was dead- I-I screamed and they put something over my mouth and I couldn’t stay awake any more.”264

“When I woke up again we were here.” Nell continued, “Izacc was just waking up and you were still out of it- and we didn’t know what happened to DJ or Holland or Zach- and they took Izacc away for questioning and when he came back he was all bloody and wouldn’t talk to me except to ask how you were and-” The girl paused, trying to catch her breath, “He was crying, Kaygan…”265

Kaygan nodded. The Rame were not known for their adamant respect for human rights, if such a thing existed anymore… they’re used torture more than once, Holland bore the scares and Kaygan had seen enough in her time to make her despise and fear anyone with the three tails on their person. Izacc was just a boy, of course, they would take him. She wondered why they had left Nell, clearly the weaker of the two. Perhaps they knew this; perhaps they figured that it would be simpler to break the strongest first. They were right. Much as she loved Nell, the girl was so easily cowed; she would break in an instant if only Kaygan or Izacc were broken first.266

The door of the cell (the one Kaygan hadn’t noticed before) slide open and the women jumped at the sound. Izacc barely stood, with two of the Rame guards behind him. Nell had not exaggerated. His face was swollen and his clothing ripped, already the dark bruises were beginning to appear around his left eye. He looked as though on breeze would succeed in knock him over. His mouth was open and slack and his eyes were blank. He swayed and fell down to his knees.267

Nell and Kaygan were at the boy’s side immediately. Nell got there first.268

“Izacc! Izacc!” She reached over and shook him, none too gently, “Izacc, wake up!”269

She had pulled his head up off the stone floor and Kaygan could see his forehead bleeding. Izacc’s brown eyes moved up and looked at Nell. No, they looked passed Nell, towards something invisible to the human eye. His lips trembled as though he was going to speak but no words escaped him.270

“Izacc!” Kaygan leaned forward and shook the boy lightly, though she could not have explained what good it might do, “What happened?”271

***
{Flash Back}272

His mind slipped in and out of consciousness and his body cried out in agony as he wondered what they would do to him next. He had never hurt like this, not even the night he lost his arm. Losing an arm was like a fit of hiccups compared to the pain he was in now. Of course, they made him walk, even though he fell to his knees every few steps. Occasionally he vomited.273

Izacc had no idea why the Rame were torturing him. It didn’t make any since, if their mission was to catch, sell and retrieve, for a slave to lack the capacity to walk. Maybe it was punishment…they hadn’t done anything to really damage him permanently. They had tasered the bottoms of his feet, made tiny cuts around his ear lob and of course the usual punching and stabbing. They’d covered his eyes and set fire to his hair then shoved his face beneath freezing cold water. Izacc had come up gasping, the pain and fear kept him conscious, but all he could do was think of DJ, and wonder if he was alive.274

DJ hadn’t been caught… at least Izacc could comfort himself with that. At least his brother would not be sentenced to return to the life they had sacrificed so much to escape from. But what if DJ was dead? Could Izacc make it alone? They’d been together since before they came into the world, he’d never thought it possible that one would leave before the other. Now it seemed exceptional real that there might only be one of the twins on the planet. When Izacc thought about it, there was no greater chance that one would die rather than the other. What if he died first?275

His face was plunged into the water. The black sack that covered his head while they tortured him was already soaking; it must have been the third time he’d gone under and Izacc wondered how long they would hold him down for. It always seemed like an eternity before they pulled his head, chocking and coughing out of the water.276

He was released from the water sooner than expected and the bag was ripped off his head. A little to rough for Izacc’s tastes, it pulled out more than a few of his hairs. The goggles were gone; one of the Rame’d taken it for a souvenir, but right now, he was just glad he could see again, blurry as his vision maybe.277

“Where’s the file?” A cold voice asked softly and Izacc tried to focus on the blurry patch that it came from.278

“I have it here, sir.” Another deeper voice said.279

“Give it to me.” Izacc blinked and took in the speaker. He was not nearly as impressive as Holland. This man was small in stature, barely more than Izacc’s height, and his clothing reminded Izacc of the legends Kaygan told him, about the days before the First World War. A green velvet coat that went down to the man’s thighs, a black waist coat around his fat little stomach and a white button down shirt. He hadn’t seen clothes like that since he was a slave.280

“Izacc Dadley,” The man spoke directly to him, glancing up from the files with green, bespectacled eyes, “Our records show that you would be about fifteen years old now. Correct?”281

Izacc tried to speak but his throat felt water logged and he only gurgled.282

“Izacc Dadley?” The man asked again in a sharper tone, “Are you fifteen years old?”283

“Y-yes.” He whispered painfully. There was no point in lying.284

“You’re a run away slave.” The fat man looked again at the file, “You ran away three years ago with one DJ Dadley.”285

“Yes…” It hurt to speak.286

“DJ was your twin?”287

The past tense jolted him, “Is he dead?”288

“Answer the question. What DJ Dadley your twin?”289

“…yes.” Izacc blinked and hoped he would not cry.290

“That’s interesting. You don’t see many twins anymore.” He made a note in the file and continued, “You were owned by Mr. Jacob Dadley, the owner of a lumber mill in Ezra Illinois?” 291

“Yes… I think that’s where it was.”292

“You’re missing an arm.” The man’s eye glanced at Izacc’s empty sleeve.293

“Yes.”294

“How did that happen?”295

“Don’t… remember…”296

“That’s interesting...” The man spoke conversationally, “And a little false, if you don’t mind. Studies show that most human beings only use ten percent of their brains. The other ninety percent is simply inaccessible. It’s not that you don’t remember, Izacc, it’s that you can’t. The experience must have been exceptionally traumatic for you to have driven it back into the part of your mind you don’t use. We shall have to see if we cannot remedy that.”297

The psycho analysis made no sense at all to Izacc.298

“Mr. Brodsky!” The man turned and called out the door, “I think we’re ready for room two hundred.”299

Isaac wondered what was to happen to him in room two hundred but he could not really bring himself to care. There was nothing more they could do to him now, nothing physical anyway. 300

Two men grabbed him by the shoulders and set him on his feet. Isaac fell almost immediately. Even if he’d been able to stand, he wouldn’t have. If they were going to torture him, they would have to carry him.301

And carry him they did, out into a long black hallway. Isaac stared at the ceiling and tried to expel himself from his aching body. They look him into a room, room two hundred, Isaac assumed, and laid him down on a hard white operating table, strapping his arms and legs down with leather straps. A leather headband was placed around his head with long black wires protruding from it. He could feel suction cups attaching to his skull and he wondered if they would electrocute him. His eye lids were forced open by one of the guards and kept that way with small surgical needles. No matter how he tried, Izacc could not get them to close.302

“Now, Izacc.” The short man smiled in front of him, “Lets see if we cannot access those memories, hmm?”303

Then, somewhere in the darkness of room two hundred he could not see, a switch was flipped on and Izacc was transported four years into the past.304

***
“Alright, get up!” One of the guard’s that had tossed Izacc to the floor barked, “You! The blonde one!”305

Temporarily forgetting Izacc’s plight, Kaygan wrapped her arm protectively around Nell.306

“Bang off!” She muttered.307

“Heh, in a minute!” The guard laughed, “De Historian wants to perform an ex-peer-e-mant on her.”308

“Kaygan.” Nell glanced up at her with fearful eyes and Kaygan quietly resolved that she would not let this girl be taken.309

“No.” She said.
“You ain’t got a choice.” The guard laughed again, “He wansta perform a ex-peer-e-ment on you too, but not yet… one atta time.”310

“No.” He made a move for Nell and Kaygan swatted his hand away; a swift but effective motion Holland had taught her. The guard was enraged and swung at them. Her body was tired but fast enough to avoid him. He swore and Kaygan tossed the girl aside, ready to fight. That proved fatal. The man’s sausage like fingers wrapped around her wrist and Kaygan leapt to her feet. The door slammed shut and all she could do was listen to Nell’s screams.311

“No! Kaygan! Izacc! Izacc!”312

***
{Izacc's memory}
“Izacc…” DJ’s voice was worried, “Are you sure about this?”313

“What? Do you want to hang around here for the rest of our lives?”314

“No…” The question was below the belt. DJ wanted freedom as much as Izacc did, maybe more. His brother sighed.315

“Look, we talked about this. We can’t stay here, DJ. We’re not gonna end up like that.”316

DJ nodded. They’d been born slaves and lived their entire life in the mill. They never knew their mother but they had seen so many other lives destroyed; their friends sold away at a whim, young women impregnated by strangers, the lines tattooed on the backs of troublemakers. They’d felt the whip’s sting on their own flesh more than once but it was the threat of separation that drove them to what they would do that night. Izacc was to be sold south, alone.317

The night air was cool on that midnight they decided to take their destiny into their own hands. The saw room, where the precious Illinois lumber was split into long flat parts to build houses, had a perfect view of the sky. Master Dadley used as little money as possible in constructing the space. The walls of the saw room began eight feet from the ground. They and the massive black ceiling were held up by long wooden poles. The conveyer belt was still, waiting for the morning when work began, and a large circular hung ominous from the ceiling.318

“But- do we have to steal?” DJ asked, “Can’t we-?”319

“Oh GOD, DJ!” Izacc exclaimed in a whisper, “Don’t tell me this is a moral issue for you! They stole our LIVES! One generator hardly compares!”320

“I know that!” DJ snapped “But it’s too risky, Izacc! What are we gonna do with a generator?! We’re supposed to be escaping! We can’t be weighed down with anything!”321

“What are we gonna eat, hunh? We’ll need food, you know. We’ll need money. When we get to ‘Chago, we’ll sell the generator, okay? No more weighing down.”322

“There’s nothing I can say to talk you out of it?”323

“You could leave…” Izacc said, “See if I’ll follow.”324

“No.” DJ came and stood by his brother, “We’re twins, right?”325

Izacc shrugged, “Let’s do it.”326

The solar generator- it was a small one, a back up on used for keeping the house energy running when the others were malfunctioning. It would serve their purpose though, generators were rare and expensive. It was possible that they would be arrested or at least questioned for having one but- only if they went to a legitimate business. There were quite a few thieves that would pay less than it was worth but with the added benefit of no questions. The punishment for a slave running away was death. Izacc reached out, placing his right hand on the metal.327

DJ screamed. Izacc barely had time to think about what had happened before Master Dadley’s grip circled around his wrist!328

“THEIVES, EH?!” His voice was snakelike as he dragged Izacc towards the saw, “You’ll soon learn the punishment for stealing, boyos!”329

“Let him go!” DJ had found his voice again and, even though it squeaked in terror, he slammed into Dadley with all the force of his body. Dadley shrugged his enormous shoulders and continued pulling Izacc to the machines.330

“DJ, RUN!” Izacc shouted, pulling back wards in desperation. In truth, he had no idea what his master was planning to do with him but the glint in Dadley’s narrow green eyes. The big, burly man stomped to the control station, swatting DJ away as though he were a fly, and flipped the switch. The circular saw on the ceiling lowered and began to spin ominously.331

Izacc screamed and Dadley slammed his arm against the conveyed belt. DJ was shouting something and Izacc heard the master laugh and tell him to wait his turn but his mind was chiefly occupied with the spinning blade of the saw. Closer, closer, louder, faster. Izacc could scream no longer, he stood petrified, not even fighting any more, biting down on his lip trying to brace himself. DJ screamed again and the whirring of the saw was deafening in Izacc’s mind. He closed his eyes and the bone crunched beneath him. He felt nothing at first, so much that it was dizzying. Then every inch of him screamed in pain, over and over again. His eyes popped open and were instantly filled with red. Blood flew everywhere, painting the saw and conveyer belt a deep crimson as Izacc watched his right hand drift away from. Dadley pressed an enormous hand against his stomach and pushed him backwards, laughing; “Time for round two!”332

“RUN, DJ!” His eyes saw nothing but the bleeding stump where his arm used to be and DJ’s scream priced the night air! His brother fell back behind him, clutching his own bleeding stump, the mirror image of Izacc’s.333

“DJ!”334

“Steal from me again and you’ll lose more than an arm!” Dadley warned, leaving them to their plight.335

***
{Flash forwar}
Izacc gasped; desperately trying to force his screaming body to breath. His body rocked the table and the fat man scribbled something on his clip bored.336

“DJ!” Izacc screamed.337


***
{Izacc's memory}
“DJ!” He whispered, tears spurting from his eyes, “DJ! Stay with me!”338

“Izacc-!” His brother gasped, “Izacc, I don’t wanna die!”339

“We- have to- stop- bleeding.” Izacc fought to keep from blacking out and cupped the bleeding stump with his other hand but the blood gushed through his fingers like a dozen little fountains. He howled and crawled on his hands and knees, looking for something- anything that would help them.340

“Izacc!” DJ called helplessly, “Izacc.”341

“Fuck!” He swore and reached blindly in the dark. His crimson stained fingers closed around a blow torch and fumbled for the trigger. He would burn the wound closed or else die a slave.342

He fell to the ground, unbalanced as he lifted the torch and the new pain consumed the only. The smell of baking flesh crowed his senses-343

***
{Flash back}344

He coughed involuntary.345

***
{Izacc's memory}
- DJ’s screams filled the air. Izacc was aware enough to crawl towards the sound, still holding the lit torch.346

“DJ…” His brother scooted backwards, “We- have- to stop- bleeding! Trust- me!”347

DJ shuddered but removed his hand and held out the stump. Izacc closed the wound and the burnt Oder consumed him again. His eyes could not stay open. He just saw flickers, DJ’s wound closed, the bleeding subsided, cool grass against his face.348

“DJ-”Words formed unbidden on his tongue, “-why- didn’t- you- run?!349

DJ gasped, using the last bit on consciousness in his power and whispered on word; “Brothers…”350

***351

“Found it, Holland.” DJ pointed passed the crevices and crags of the mountain side, “Just where Izacc said.”352

“Humph.” Holland shouldered his gun. Izacc hadn’t been exaggerating. If anything, he’d under addressed the problem. The boy had said forty, maybe fifty men. There were at least a thousand below them, probably more. The M.G.U stood out like nuclear missile in a pit of grenades, big, black and ominous against the desert sand. Holland had seen only three of these beasts in his life time and this was certainly the biggest. Long corridors stretched out from it like spiders legs. What was the government doing in the middle of the desert with so many men and so much equipment? The question was irrelevant; what Holland was chiefly concerned with was the fact that some where, down there amongst all those enemies, Kaygan was being held captive. He only hoped she wouldn’t massacre all the Rame before he got there.353

“Zach!” He barked, “You got your gun?”354

“Don’t like guns.” Zacharee slid in between DJ and Holland, “Threw it away.”355

Holland groaned, “You’ll need that, Zacharee.”356

“No.” Zach said mildly.357

“They’ll have guns.”358

“Don’t need guns.” The boy insisted, “Daddy’ll help.”359

He was about to protest again when DJ raised a hand. “Please, Holland. Let Zach go his own way. You didn’t see him before. It was... scary. If he says he doesn’t need a gun, he doesn’t.”360

Nobody ever listens to me. Holland thought but did not pursue the subject. Worse came to worse, he could carry Zacharee out of danger once the boy was wounded. It would just be an inconvenience; that’s all. DJ was armed with a rifle and a small, semi automatic, laser pistol that he stole from the enemy and Holland felt confident he would blast through anything standing between him as his brother.361

“Fine…” He muttered, “Let’s go.”362

They descended into the Rame camp with out a sound. It was all DJ could handle not to start shooting immediately and calling for Izacc but Holland had been very clear that they needed to keep their profile low. It was against his better instincts to even be there, DJ knew that. It probably had something to do with the fact that he and Kaygan were in love. Right now, DJ didn’t care about that. All he wanted to do was find Izacc… once they were together, he could worry about everything else. Like how any of them were going to get out alive. No matter how quiet they were, sooner or later some one would see them and-363

“Hey,” A guard in dark brown fatigues turned slowly with a confused expression on his face, “Who’re you-?”364

-all hell broke loose. Holland shot first, a hail storm of bullets rained down on the unsuspecting Rame troops! It took them about an eighth of a second to realized what was happening but between that and the two minutes it took them to take out their weapons there was enough time for the first twenty to die.365

“MOVE!” Holland barked at them, “I’ll cover you!”366

DJ bent low to the ground and headed, running, toward the M.G.U, occasionally firing the laser and disintegrating the bullets that got too close but Zacharee remained.367

“Zach… get out of here.” Holland mumbled between the shots and their echoes.368

“No…” The boy’s body twitched more than ever before and he fought to keep his voice steady, “Not gonna run anymore…”369

“Zach… go after DJ…” He racked his brain, trying to thing of away to dissuade the boy, “Find Kaygan and Nell.”370

“No.” Zach shook his head again, “Holland goes. Kaygan needs him.”371

“ZACHAREE!” A shot hurtled to boy’s body. Holland groaned inwardly, taking one hand off his gun and trying to push Zacharee out of the way, but he’d noticed the bullet too late. Zach’s body contorted and snapped back, the slug between his teeth. Holland stared as the boy, his eyes vacant and animal like, spat the bullet on to the sand and leapt in to the fry. It was surreal… fifteen times in seven seconds, Holland was sure the boy was dead but he kept running. Zach’s fingers curled into claws and he slammed them into the faces of the Rame before they knew what was happening. Flesh ripped off in his palms and the terrified screams mixed in with his vicious yowling. 372

The Rame appeared to have forgotten him and Holland glanced quickly to the M.G.U entrance DJ had disappeared down, remembering Zach’s last words. Kaygan, for once in her life, needed him. He glanced back at the fray. They’d surrounded the wild boy now but kept there distance. Blood stained Zach’s ghost white skin and his eyes blazed. There was nothing more Holland could do here. He couldn’t fire on the Rame for fear of hitting Zacharee. Whether or not he even could hit Zacharee at this stage in the game was debatable but Kaygan would be irritated at him for risking it.373

Kaygan… He ran towards the entrance.374

***375

“You didn’t break him, you know that?” She was surprised they let her walk to her torture chamber. It was probably because they knew who she was. Kaygan Mishoto would walk to her death like- for lack of a better word- man.376

“No, let her finish…” The short man raised a hand to stop the Rame guard from silencing her, “Whom didn’t we break?”377

“Izacc…” Kaygan glared at him, “I don’t know what you to him but it didn’t break him. You cut him, you cut him deep but you didn’t break him. I just thought you should know that.”378

“Ah, thank you.” He made a note on a pad of paper, “A very interesting example of humanity’s defiant nature. That’s extremely rare.”379

“I am not your experiment.”380

“Of course, you’re not.” He said patronizingly, “It may interest you-” He glanced at the file in his hand, “Kaygan Mishoto, that I had no intention of “breaking” Izacc Dadley. His unpleasantness was necessary to for my work. I apologize of course, if it was detrimental.”381

“Unpleasantness…” Kaygan repeated, glaring at him, “That’s a nice way to say torture.”382

The man laughed, “Ah but what is torture? Webster’s- it’s an ancient text, you wouldn’t know it- defines torture as: the affliction of intense pain to punish, coerce or afford sadistic pleasure. Now, as a run away, Izacc is technically a criminal and deserves to be punished but that’s not my department. I’m a historian. Izacc’s pain was purely a means to an end.”383

“To what end?”384

“Do you realize there hasn’t been a written history of the planet since the second half of World War three?” The historian sighed, “Most of the documents before that are impossible to attain and even then- I don’t suppose you know how to read, do you?”385

“My father taught me.”386

“Ah, that’s right; you were raised by a diplomat.” He said, “Well, you’re one of the lucky ones, aren’t you? I doubt very much that anyone else in your little clan can read. Izacc Dadley certainly can’t, neither can the blonde girl.”387

“Sadly, Kaygan, words have been lost in this world. Any form of culture dissipated long before the last world war. And what is culture? The shared history, the shared art of a people. What is history? ‘History is nothing but assisted and recorded memory’ and ‘memory itself is an internal rumor.’ That’s George Santayana, you know. Of course, you don’t.” He sighed again, “Santayana was before any of our times…what a glorious time it must have been!”388

“What does that have to do with Izacc?” Kaygan glared, “Or me?”389

“I am compiling the cultural history of this world.” The historian beamed with obvious pride, “The government’s invented a device to extract memories. They use it for interrogation and… I will admit it… some of it’s sadistic, but I use it for history. Izacc’s was interesting, uncommon for slave owners to willing destroy their own property. Unfortunately, the human mind is a deep, complex thing and it guards its secrets well. It’s often necessary to force the subject into extreme physical discomfort in order to bring the memories to light.”390

“You’re going to torture me.” It was not a question.391

“No… this has nothing to do with me.”392

“Am I going to be tortured?”393

He looked genuinely guilty. “I suppose… it could be refer to as torture but-”394

“Then it doesn’t matter who does it.” She stopped, “Are we here?”395

It was another black door. Exactly the same as the others they had passed. At the top, center of this door, in silver letters was the number two hundred.396

“Yes.” The historian sighed, “We’re here.”397

“Then get it over with.” Her voice was cold, detached, “But you’ll have Holland to deal with if I don’t kill you first.”398

“Ah… Holland. He’s another curiosity.”399

“What do you mean?”400

“I’ve read his file. It’s practically a soap opera.”401

One of the guards strapped her down, hands, feet and head against a hard metal table. Her eyes were forced open and Kaygan wondered mildly what they would do to her. She hoped she would not give them the satisfaction of crying out. She liked to think of her self as a wise and world woman after traveling so long but… she’d never been tortured. Never even abused.402

“How long is this going to take?” She prayed that her voice was calm.403

“It’s a new procedure.” The Historian spoke, some where out of sight, “Medical research. Too see how much the human mind can handle and how much it can be expanded.”404

A switch flipped and Kaygan began to see images. Two boys… slaves… trying to escape. A power generator… a man… an enormous circular saw… spinning… spinning closer and closer… Blood! Izacc! DJ! Kaygan taste vomit but held it in…405

“Every memory we’ve ever extracted.” He said in a low voice, “All the nightmares and screams of the world for your viewing pleasure. Even in this barbaric, cannibal world, most of the test subject loses their sanity. I hope you don’t, Kaygan, but I have my doubts about your little blonde friend.”406

“Nell?” Her words felt like acid against her throat, “You’re doing this to Nell as well?”407

“She’s only a year younger than the boy but its general knowledge that females mature faster than males.”408

A man beat his wife… she cried out in pain and sorrow and her cries inter mixed with Kaygan’s.409

“YOU’RE A MONSTER!!”410

***411

Later, DJ would wish he’d stopped to help some of the other prisoners, the ones he passed running down the corridors shouting his brother’s name, before it became too late. But at that moment, his chief concern was Izacc, followed closely by Nell and then Kaygan if Holland didn’t get to her first. Judging by the screams outside, Zacharee had gone berserk again. It was the second time that day…412

Well, we won’t have any trouble getting him to sleep tonight… DJ thought recklessly.413

Each of the cells had a small circular window at the door that allowed one to peer inside. There were about twenty cells in the corridor and DJ had long since stopped looking in every one of them. Izacc would hear him, he hoped, if he was here indeed. It was quite possible Izacc was in a higher security level or being tortured but the Rame and if either of those options proved to be true, then DJ way subtly screwed.414

“Deege?”415

“Izacc?!” The voice was faint but only his twin called him Deege. The nickname was a relic from their childhood when a speech impediment had prevented Izacc from saying ‘Ay’416

One shot with the laser rendered the looking mechanism useless and the door swung open. Izacc face down on the floor, his lids lowered but his eyes open.417

“Izacc!” His brother shouted, falling to his knees and dragging Izacc up in a one armed bare hug. Izacc was still dizzy from the procedures but his heart had stopped racing. He felt so much calmer now that DJ was here. Now that he knew DJ was alive… he could breathe again… start worrying about other people, not to mention himself. DJ could feel his brother’s blood seeping into his shirt.418

“You’re hurt!”419

“What were you expecting, Deege?” Izacc’s eyes were tired and DJ’s were stained with tears, “Don’t worry, bro. I’ll be fine- just help me up.”420

DJ obliged, ducking under Izacc’s arm and grasping around his waist, “What happened to you?”421

“I’ll tell you later-” If I can form the words-“Right now we need to find Nell.”422

“Nell?” A pang of anxiety shot through him at the mention of Nell’s name, “Where is she?”423

“I have an okay guess.” Izacc lifted his right leg and grimaced in pain, “Hurry, DJ! They’re gonna hurt her… the same way they hurt me!”424

“Where is she?”425

“I don’t know...” An idea- a memory shot through his mind, “Try two hundred.”426

“Are you sure you can walk?” DJ asked, worried as usual.427

“I’m gonna have to aren’t I?” Izacc smiled, “You could leave me here.”428

“Nuh uh.” DJ shook his head, “We’re brothers.”429

***430

Kaygan’s screams stopped him in his tracts. Gritting his teeth, Holland turned and began to run in the correct direction. Her beautiful voice, distorted by pain, echoed off the walls and he hoped he would arrive in time to stop them.431

Room One Ninety Nine. The words at the top of the door hardly registered in his mind. He set forth with a hail of bullets into the steel door, cutting through Kaygan’s screams.432

BAM! His foot connected and the steel door flew back into the darkness. At first, Holland could see nothing. Kaygan was still screaming and, as his eyes adjusted, Holland saw why:433

She was strapped down to what looked like an operating table, her eyes forced open watching images projected on the wall. An old man was bleeding while four younger ones watched and laughed. Kaygan’s body was shaking and her face was white, her blue eyes filled with tears. That was all he needed to see. Forgetting the possibility of another person still being alive, he went to her. 434

“Holland…” Kaygan’s voice cracked, while he went to work on her bonds.435

“Holland?” The Historian rose and Holland flinched, glaring at him. He’d dropped to the ground and covered his head once the bullets started flying. The guards had not been so prudent, or so lucky. Their body’s slipped down the wall, leaving dark trails in their place. The Historian stepped forward. Holland shouldered his gun.436

“Hmph.” The Historian said and his face became suddenly uglier, “As if you would need it. I couldn’t kill you if I mean to.”437

Holland lowered the gun but did not drop it. “If you don’t want to die…” He whispered, pulling out a knife, “Stay quiet.”438

“I can’t believe I’m meeting you in person.” Holland paid little attention to him as he forced the knife through the leather straps round Kaygan’s wrists. The terrible images still played on the wall. Holland didn’t know what their purpose was but it made him sick to watch. He could only imagine what it was like for Kaygan, who was more human than he would ever be. He removed the surgical needles keeping her eyes open first and she closed them gratefully. It was amazing how her staggered breathing drowned out the sounds of the video and the old man’s words almost completely.439

“Well!” The historian demanded after a few moments of silence, “Don’t you have anything to say?”440

“Do I know you?” Holland asked. One of Kaygan’s arms was free. It fell along the side of the table.441

“No.” He smiled evilly, “You wouldn’t. My name is Seth McAlister.”442

Holland froze and Kaygan’s eyes opened a fraction of an inch. She reached out with her one free hand.443

“Holland…”444

“Adam’s son.” He took it, still staring at the historian.445

“You killed my father!”446

“I killed our father.” Holland corrected mildly, “He deserved it.”447

“Holland?”448

He turned back to Kaygan and began to work on the rest of the ties. “Don’t you wonder why he kept trying for more sons?”449

“I was weak as a child but I would have grown!” The Historian’s face turned red with old fury, “He would have been proud of me! You had no right to take that from me!”450

“Right?” Holland snorted, easing Kaygan’s limp body into his arms, “You want to talk rights to me? I was in my father’s library, late at night, the only time I could without getting caught and I read about the rights provided to people in the past. ‘Neither slavery nor involuntary servitude,’ right? I taught myself to read those words and risked my own life to do it because my father did not acknowledge me or my mother as anything other than property. You want to talk rights to me? There are no rights here.”451

“Holland…” The revelation that her lover was the bastard son of the man she was meant to marry was not the thunderbolt she would have expected, “We need to get out of here…”452

Holland stood, Kaygan resting in his arms, “You’ve said a lot.” He turned back to his half brother, “I’m not sorry I killed him and I don’t know that you should be either. You’re probably better off.”453

“I’ve wanted my whole life to kill you…”454

“I’ve wanted for most of my life to be dead.” He smiled, “If only you’d been around six years ago... Do you still want to kill me?”455

“Yes…”456

“Mmm…”Holland shook his head, “If it weren’t for that, I might have let you live. No, even if you weren’t who you are, I’d kill you because of what you didn’t to Kaygan, because of what you planned to do to Izacc and Nell. I’d say I’m sorry but I’m not.”457

He raised his gun. Kaygan stirred briefly in his arms as he locked in on the target.458

“I’ll try to make it quick.”459

“Those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it.” The Historian muttered and a shot rang out. A look of absolute shock crossed his face and a high pitched scream pierced the air. He dropped to his knees and crumpled on the floor, a thick crimson pool forming beneath him. Holland lowered his gun, his face expressionless. On the opposite wall, the world’s pain played on.460

“Holland…” The heat of Kaygan’s body and her mumbled words brought him back to reality. DJ would have found Izacc by now; the brother’s had a sixth sense about where the others were at all times. Now the main thing was to gather the rest of their little group together and escape. Where they would escape to he did not know but it was not as though the circumstances had changed.461

“Holland.” Kaygan’s eyes opened and she glared up at him, “I can walk, put me down!”462

He snorted and cradled her like a child, “Only you, Kaygan, only you.” But he let her feet drop to the floor and smiled as she fell back against him.463

“Come on.” Holland said, in a louder voice, “Lean on me.”464

***
They emerged from Room One Ninety Nine just in time to see the twins escaping from the room next door. Izacc was standing but he looked wobbly and DJ’s eyes betrayed his worry. Not just for his brother but for the unconscious girl supported between them. Nell’s hair had come loose and her head rolled back onto Izacc’s shoulder. Kaygan shuttered. Nell might have gone through the treatment from beginning to end. God knew if she was able to stand it.465

“Hey!” DJ said in a gasp, “Good to see you’re alive.”466

“Likewise.” Holland managed a grin, “What’s up with Nell?”467

“She’s in and out.” Izacc said, “But we think she’s okay.”468

“Are you okay?”469

The boy cracked a smile, “Getting better.” He mumbled through gritted teeth, “Is Zacharee with you?”470

“No. Last I saw him he was outside.” Holland shivered. The last time he’d seen Zach, the boy had gone insane. He didn’t look forward to see if that was still the case.471

“We should probably go outside then.” DJ said and the twins limped toward the door.472

“Come on.” Holland whispered.473

“Spear.” Kaygan glanced over her shoulder, “The Rame took it.”474

“The Rame’ll keep it then.” Holland said, pulling her towards the door, “We don’t have time to go looking around for your stick. Guns are more useful anyway.”475

“So you keep saying.” She pouted, “I still want my spear.” But she went with him, probably because she had no other choice.476

It was surprisingly easy to find their way back to the outside world. Kaygan blinked in the sunlight. It was impossisble to believe she’d been in there less than a day. Holland’s grey eyes narrowed, looking for Zacharee.477

It was impossible to see if his savagery had passed or not. According to DJ, this was the second time he’d gone berserk like this and he hadn’t hurt any of the group before but Holland did not like to risk it, especially with Kaygan and Nell incapacitated. The boy stood perfectly still in a field of bodies. His face, arms and fingers were slashed with blood and sand. His eyes were vacant but they did not seem violent. He seemed shaky on his feet, legs spread apart, arms dangling at his sides. His hands were balled into fists and one of them held what looked to be a piece of flesh. The only movement he made was his chest moving up and down; the only sound that pierced the silence was Zach’s staggered breath.478

“Hey! Zach!” He didn’t make any sign that he’d recognized DJ’s voice. No one moved. Around Zacharee the Rame lay dead. Nell stirred between the twins and opened her eyes. They flitted, confused, around to Izacc, DJ, Holland and Kaygan, finally resting on Zacharee. Izacc started to say something but DJ shushed him. He was looking at Nell. Something had changed in the glass green orbs; they seemed older, wiser.479

“Zacharee…” The girl stood and pushed the twins aside with little more than a brush of her fingers. She’d done more than lost consciousness, her clothing was ripped and her neck was bleeding. Still, she moved seemingly without effort like sand in the wind.480

Zacharee’s head turned as she approached him. His eyes were still sickly white, but his fists fell open. Nell said nothing. Her eyes rested on him without fear and as she got closer, Zacharee’s savagery seemed to fade. His eyes came back to their original red color. He caught his breath and made a small, child like sound in the back of his throat. He staggered and fell in to the sand.481

He was sobbing when Nell caught him. Words formed around his lips but came out in a fit of tears and spit. His body convulsed but Nell sat perfectly still, her long ivory fingers grasping strands of his hair.482

“Sorry- didn’t- couldn’t- no!”483

“Shh, Zacharee. It’s okay.” Her voice sound older as well and Kaygan realized, watching the two of them, that this young girl carried the pain of the world on her shoulders. She’d seen things she never deserved to see, all of the things no one deserved to see and withstood it. Nell was the one Seth had spoken of. She’d withstood it without losing her mind. Kaygan believed her, as she murmured to the wild, sobbing boy.484

“No matter what, everything will be alright.”