Fallther

I love the way fall makes its move into Texas after the long, hot months of summer. The leaves slowly change colors, and it seems as though overnight they fall off of the trees. There is a smell in the air that makes me so restless and leaves me laying in the soft grass for hours, as if waiting for a miracle to appear. The nights are chilly, the days perfect, and the promise of winter with its heavy coat days and hot chocolate nights always leaves me with a smile on my face.1

And last night, as I ran through the yard barefoot with my siblings, playing with cap guns and waking the neighborhood, I knew this was heaven, if only for a moment. Everything else could wait.2

It's times like last twilight that I want to look back on and remember when I think of how things were when I was younger. I don't want to remember the arguments, the divorce, the mistakes, the disease... I just want to remember that there were nights where everything was perfect and nothing could touch us or our immortality.3

Maybe someday I'll be able to think of my father without wanting to cry over all the things that were said, and more importantly, the things that still aren't being said and never will be said. And maybe someday I won't cry out of selfishness for wishing that he would be the one walking me down the aisle, or dancing with me at my wedding, or holding my children and giving me advice on finances. He's still here now, even if he is so far away sometimes.4

I don't question the reason for anything happening, because it all does happen for a reason. I've seen it personally, and last night, I held one of those reasons closed to me, kissed his forehead, and thanked God for sending him into my life. There are so many little blessings that I have... and I'm grateful for having my dad as long as I have.5

I don't know when this turned from fall into father... but I needed the release...