Breathing Your Love

I slowly walk over and turn on the stereo, flipping through the tracks. Trying to find the right one. I look over at her, hair falling across her face, curled up around the blankets. I smile to myself, finding comfort in the thought that she's all mine. Looking around our new apartment, I can't believe we're finally living together. I find the song I'm looking for, and a smile spreads across her face. I walk to the bed and hold out my arms. 1

"Dance with me." I ask her, hoping she will. I can tell she's rolling her eyes, even though they're closed. She pulls herself up off the mattress thats lying on the floor and falls into my arms gently. I lay my head against her chest and she kisses the top of my head. Her small hands find their way around my shoulders and they bring me into her. We are a mess of arms and legs and fingers now. I feel her heart beating lightly in my ears and I remember all the conversations we had about me being the beat in her heart. She starts humming though, and I have to try hard not to laugh. I'm trying to keep the mood of romance and safety and belonging…She knows I'm going to laugh, and I know she knows, so we both break the silence and laugh freely. We try to hold onto each other for support, and we fall down on the bed. Our laughing dies and the giggles turn to sweet smiles. We glance at each other, shooting unspoken words of love back and forth. She brushes a strand of crimson hair out of my eyes, and I smile. She's mothering me again. I tell myself it's no wonder I need her when she has come to mean so much to me. She is my parent, my best friend, my girlfriend, and she is me. 2

Her hand rests on my hip now and her fingertips leave invisible prints as she presses down into my skin. She rolls me over so I'm lying on my stomach, half of my body draping over her. She laces my hair through her fingers. I wrap my arms around her tighter, bringing her closer. I realize I've forgotten to breathe. I inhale deeply, breathing in her life, her smell, and her spirit. The air she breaths is the same that passes through my own lips and knowing that makes it seem so much sweeter. It's like an addiction to hold her, and I am beyond any recovery. I can feel her breathing in and out, how she struggles to breathe; the same way I do. She presses harder on me, and I lean in and kiss her. Her fingers relax as she kisses me back, then lets up. She lets our noses rub together slightly: an Eskimo-kiss. I smile again, that's all I seem to know how to do when I'm with her. Except of the occasional time when something extra-ordinarily wonderful is happening and then my whole heart feels like it will explode into tiny little pieces at her. It's such a beautiful thing to know this feeling, to be wrapped up in her love and her heart. I listen to her breathing, in and out. In and out. I can't help but wonder how hard she is trying to breathe...3