A large amethyst dragon floated among the clouds with a stealthy silence that would otherwise be unusual for such a large beast, but dragons had unsurpassable amounts of skill. Her wings were spread wide and she let the currents guide her. This was her only form of rest in her travels, for she dared not stop and risk capture. The silvery moon was bright and full, casting a light glow upon the dragon’s scales and making them shimmer in an awe striking beauty that no one was around to appreciate. The moon lit up the clouds similarly, casting some parts of the fluffy domes in shadows and others were bright with light, completing the eerie and stunning affect of the magical creature’s flight. It was an image that belonged in a painting, though no painting could ever capture the beauty.2
The dragon looked down at her precious cargo entwined in her claws as a giant glittering tear marked its jagged path down her cheek, at one point sparkling as bright as a diamond in the moonlight. The round object in the dragon’s claws glowed white with splashes of rainbow color, and the object its self was decorated in vibrant colors, some of them so exquisite that any woman would have paid one of her arms to have it painted upon her dress, yet they were yet unknown to these parts of the world. The object the dragon cradled with utmost care was her egg, and she desperately wished she could better conceal its glow. Though covered in a thick layer of clouds, the dragon feared detection.3
Along the ground there was a dark and lustrous forest. Everything was hushed as all the animals, and perhaps even the plants, sensed the impending evil and were afraid to be caught. Through the stillness a slight trembling could be sensed passing through the forest, though only briefly. Amongst their hiding places several eyes laid upon a group of creatures who reeked of death and destruction. If one were to sense or smell them coming they might conjure up images of ghastly creatures with hideous features that were inhuman and other worldly.4
As it were, the creatures were four women, all of them elf like in base appearances with their angular features and pointed ears, but their beauty going beyond that of any elf. Two of them had raven black hair and the other two had bright fiery red hair that stood out so much against the blackness of the night that it almost glowed. They had wide eyes with long lashes that varied in color. One of the redheads had ice blue eyes; another’s were set ablaze with a color of red to match her hair. The two raven haired women had green eyes, one as sparkly as emeralds and one as deep as a field of grass. Their skin was fair, smooth, and enticing and their bodies were lithe and shapely. They all wore only straps of black leather across their breasts that tied in the back and torn pieces of matching leather that made small, almost useless shorts. Black cloaks with large heavy hoods were clasped to their shoulders. If not for the smell, the evil radiating from their very being and the ice cold death etched in their eyes any man would have trouble resisting their spell.5
The women were gathered around in a tiny clearing where the grass had been trampled down by their writhing bodies earlier in the night as they performed, naked, an evil ritual to their master. Now they were all standing on their knees in a circle and holding hands, their heads bowed as far as their rigidly straight backs would allow. Their hair spilled about their faces in beautiful billows of silk. They were chanting in deep and low voices that weren’t exactly unpleasant, but the fear could possibly have rendered a person dead if they were too near, and even miles away an involuntary shiver coursed through people against their understanding and children cried from nightmares.6
From in the middle of their circle a shadow deeper then that of the night began to take shape. Though filmy and barely seen, it resembled a floating cloak with the hood pulled up, though no shape of a body beneath it could be seen. A terrible scream wrenched from its nonexistent throat, a scream so far unheard of by any creature of this world. It had a scratchy, dry sound to it that made it seem as if this nonentity had been awoken from its forever slumber. It also sounded very angry, and perhaps even frightened, of its predicament. It tried to escape the circle, flying forward with blinding speed, the scream never ceasing. It slammed against some invisible barrier, which tore from it a new height in its screams.7
One of the women looked up and croaked, “Do our bidding and you shall be set free. Until then, you are bound.” Her voice was not the same as when she had been chanting. It was deep, sounding like that of a man and a demon crossed in one and the vocals of the woman were clearly not used to this voice as they strained to make the proper sounds. For several minutes, nothing happened, but then the screeching slowly began to fade. It took several more minutes before the screams had died all together.8
“What must I do?” The voice was barely a whisper in the air and it seemed to come from nowhere and everywhere.9
They all looked up now, their faces rage, vehemence, and hatred. They bared their teeth, revealing rows of gleaming white, pointed teeth. They hissed, the evil permeating their voices. “Kill the dragon, bring us the egg.”10
There was a short hesitation. “It shall be done.” 11
Far up above, the amethyst dragon had heard the evil cries of the shadowy being. She’d nearly dropped her egg and fell from the sky in her fear, and she knew that far below many animals were dead or had lost their hearing. Like precious crystals, the tears flowed from the dragons eyes. She beat her weary, leathery wings harder, pushing the fluffy clouds aside as she strived to speed away from the area. She could sense the evil and the danger now that the rest of the forest below had been aware of for some time. She knew she had met her doom. She knew there was no way to escape. She had failed.12
Bursting through the clouds, a blemish on the silver lining, the shadowy figure appeared before the dragon. She halted with all the speed she could and let out a terrified roar that rumbled through the land. Shifting her body, she nose dived for the ground, her wings folded flat against her body. She dove so fast and so close to the ground that she was lucky she was able to pull up in time. Normally, creatures of flight her size wouldn’t attempt such acrobatics. Nearly running herself into a tree, the dragon dodged obstacles the best she could as she sped through the forest, fear driving her as much as the love of her egg and the duty to this land.13
The air began to grow icy cold, and the dragon knew it wasn’t from the midnight air. It was midsummer and all around her the air was thick and humid, but the warmth was being pushed away by a cold that seemed almost like a living thing. The air grew so cold that her breath came out in thick streams of fog, and soon it was so chilly that her wings began to slow and her breathing became labored. Pain shot through her lungs in icy needles. Her head began to spin, and soon her flight was faltering. With a crash, she landed amongst the forest plants, crushing many a thing in her path before group of trees halted her slide quite suddenly. She laid there, her eyes barely able to stay open and her lungs almost refusing to draw in another icy breath.14
She could feel the shadowy entity coming closer to her and felt that all was doomed. With great effort she lifted her head and nudged her darling egg in front of her so she could look at it, then rested her chin on the ground. She whispered her enduring love to the egg as more tears poured from her eyes, and then she gave the egg one last loving nudge with her nose and let one crystallized tear drop onto the glowing oval. She kept whispering to it, pouring out her heart and her hope, though she knew nothing but black despair for their situation.15
There was a commotion in the bushes in front of the dragon and she looked up wearily, barely able to see. Everything was foggy now. Out of the brush stepped a creature that looked to be half woman and half horse. Her long hair was the color of chestnuts and she had deep eyes to match. Her skin was darkly tanned, and the horse part of her body was a deep chocolate brown. Her human body was slim, similar to that of a very active woman. She wore only a leaf colored strap around her swelling human breasts. She stepped towards the dragon shyly and wrapped her arms around herself against the chill that would soon engulf her as much as it had the dragon. Tears came to her eyes as she saw the magnificent dragon dying before her. Icicles formed on her lashes from the cold. She stepped forward and placed a warm hand on the dragon’s scales, almost recoiling because the dragon was so cold it hurt to touch her.16
“Please, take my egg to safety,” whispered the dragon. She was barely audible. 17
“I will take it and protect it with every fiber of my being, oh great one,” stated the centaur. “I weep at your plight, Noble One.”18
“You must hurry; the shadow approaches and the cold will surely kill you if he does not. Take my egg to The Silver One. It must reach her at all costs,” the dragon’s voice was fading faster now. The centaur was slightly riddled by what the dragon had said, but knew she could get no more information. There wasn’t time and the dragon hadn’t any strength left. Before the dragon drew in its last shuddering breath, the centaur leaned forward and kissed her on the nose, then scooped up the glowing egg and bounded into the brush.19
The cold clung to her, and for a moment she thought the shadow was upon her, though she knew not what the shadow was. She ran with maddening speed through the forest that she knew so well. The creatures came alive now, though fear shimmered in their calls because the cold and the shadow were so close, but they directed their friend and guardian. The centaur, with the help of her friends and her own knowledge and speed, navigated the ground in a way no one else but another of the forest could have.20
She knew that if a shadow could cause the cold she had felt and had been able to kill a mighty dragon, it must be something inescapable, but to her surprise the humid air drifted around her again, and the creatures whispered to her that she was free. She still dared only to slow a little, knowing that the more distance she could put between her and the shadow the better. The sun had gone up and hung over the middle of the sky before she dared to stop for a rest. The heat sweltered and burned, but she was accustomed to the elements and hardly noticed. The only object of her attention was the glowing dragon egg rested in her lap. She knew that if a dragon felt it was important that the egg reach this Silver One, then it was of utmost priority. There just remained one question: who was The Silver One?21
Author notes
This is just the prologue to the story I've recently started. It is one of the peices of writing I am particularly proud of, and so I wanted to share it.
A contest entry
- Come one! Come all! by Forsaken Unicorn.
225 points, ended November 19, 2007, 19 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - For The unknown by Incroyable.
323 points, ended December 12, 2007, 37 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Dragons! And other crazy options! by Friesian.
250 points, ended November 17, 2007, 10 entries
Honorable mention
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Calling All Novelists- I Want First Chapters by artemis the hunter.
260 points, ended December 7, 2007, 44 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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Wow this is really good. Especialy because i am a big fan of dragons.
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I liked this story very much! It was interesting to read from the perspective of a dragon and centaur, creatures usually encountered only as side characters.
I agree with whitj310 that at some points the adjectives were too many, which breaks the flow of the story somewhat. Mostly it was lovely descriptions though; towards the ending you sent shivers down my spine out of pure empathy for the poor dragon.
However, I suggest you change the background for this story. It was very straining to the eyes, which is unfortunate since the story is so good.
Well done!
beginning: 3, language: 3, plot: 3, ending: 4, dialog: 2, characters: 3.
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Very cool!
I absolutely LOVE dragons and I love your DESCRIPTIONS!!! WHat happens next??? I MUST know! ;P

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Hehe, thank you very very much. The chapter after the prologue is posted on here called "exerpt cont chapter one" and then I have all the chapters I've written so far (just the prologue-chapter two lol) as a whole called "Expert, no title yet as a whole, new part included." Obviously, I'm still stuck on the title haha
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Very Nice
You might want to tone down the adjectives. Too many I think. The purple font hurts my eye, but fits the story.
I would drop the word 'From' (7) in the sentence 'From in the middle' to just 'In the middle.'
In the sentence 'One of the women"(8) I would change it to 'One of them' since only women in the circle.
I know I was picky but I loved the story and love your style of writing.
JJ

beginning: 4, language: 5, plot: 3, ending: 4, dialog: 2, characters: 3.
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I like the story, but I felt as if it was a person, maybe a story that you were telling of yourself or someone you no.


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Thank you for your compliments. I am a little confused at what you mean by feeling as if this is a story about me or someone I know... since it is about a dragon trying to save her egg from an ethereal shadow being. I just like dragons and so I am writing a story about them. Anyways, thanks again!
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Absorbing
A delightful piece again from you and your writing shows why you feel proud of this. There is plenty of story promise to come I feel; I wonder if Lord of the Rings has had inspiration for you? Your work is original and interesting! I personally have a hard time with adjectives; I kill off all that I can; as too many dilutes one’s painting. I’m enslaved to such mythical tales such as yours. Keep up the good work. I would very much like to read this piece in its entirety.
Happy writing!
beginning: 5.
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Wow, I could actually see everything that was happening.
The beginng was my favorite part. I could picture the dragon floating through the clouds, absolutetly AMAZING!!! I am actually at a loss for words. (well the clostst I've been in all of my life.) Keep up the fantabulous work


beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, characters: 4.
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Fantastic job with this. The imagery is beautiful, and it is very well-written. I see why you're so proud of it.
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A prewrite, true. A magnificent story, also true. I just can't stae anything into words about this story. I wish you luck.
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Thank you very much. I would like to point out, even though it is a prewrite that is because I posted it on this site before I saw your contest. It is new stuff, written only a couple days before I entered your contest. Thanks again!
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This was great! I agree with my daughter down there when she says you get sucked in! Such a great beginning! You have talent! Great job!
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This was great! I agree with my daughter down there when she says you get sucked in! Such a great beginning! You have talent! Great job!
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woah! as soon as I read the first scentence I was sucked in! you are an awesome writer! Keep up yer writing talent! do not give it up! good job.
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Oh that is so sad! Poor dragon! More more more! ^_^


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Wow. This was amazining! I was completely sucked in the moment I started! I couldn't take my eyes off the screen the whole time! ^.^ You are amazing! tell me when Chapter 1 comes out! I can't wait!!!!!


beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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Hehe, thank you very much. Chapter one is now posted.
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