Driving on this road is a gambler's hand,1
concealing two pairs of aces and eights.2
At any moment, the five other players3
might call out your bluff and pull out their guns.4
They fondle their triggers with intimate ease - 5
Will you get shot or will you survive?6
As the SUV sways in front of your car7
and the teen to the left puts the cell to her ear8
and the light changes red 9
and the brake lights flash red10
and the blood in your body11
rushes straight to your head12
Gonna crash! Gonna crash! Gonna crash! Gonna crash!13
A squeal of brakes. 14
The last sound you hear?15
Surviving this road is the flash of a card hand16
in a gambling den where your life is worth less17
than the money in your pocket: 18
How will they react to the sight of your hand?19
If they don't like what you got, 20
you're going to die.21
If she doesn't pay attention, 22
you're going to die.23
If the SUV swerves, 24
you're going to die.25
Flashing aces and eights - are you going to die?26
Author notes
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Well, I started out writing a simple sentence comparing driving to playing high stakes poker with gun-toting card players....but it turned into a poem.
But at least it's a METAPHOR poem. Right?
Heh. And as you can probably tell, I hate driving. Hate it. Every moment is potential death. Other people are insane and you take your eyes off the road for one second and BAM! DEATH!
Sometimes people call me a pessimist, but DAMN do I hate driving.
...And I have to go somewhere new tomorrow. Sigh. In a college town, no less, with crazy crazy drivers.
....Which is why I just wrote this metaphor poem thing.
(I'm a female)
A contest entry
- About Your Metaphor! by Taylor Renee.
250 points, ended November 16, 2007, 12 entries
Honorable mention
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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A very apt metaphor (I'm terrified of freeways, and uncomfortable at best on surface streets). Driving in college towns is even worse. Good luck getting to and from wherever your road leads; I hope the others at the table play fair.
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This is great, except I have to drive home tonight!! Now I'm going to be all scared!! Really, though, this was well written. Great metaphor, and you turned it into a great poem. Good luck in the contest.
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Wow!!!
This is so true. And, thank you, for taking a chance and entering a metaphoe poem! That's great!
This was such a great poem, though, and point! I mean....I can't drive yet, lol, but I'm totally scared to start.
There's so many bad drivers out there.
AWESOME metaphors!!
thank you so much for taking the time to enter my contest, and good luck!!
xoxo
tay
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wow, thats me to a tee. well I was not always that way till I had a bad wreck and almost DIED...lol but I have 2 kids and I have to drive.....
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HOLY CRAP. That pretty much describes how I felt yesterday while teaching Rose to drive.
As for the poem, this is wonderful.
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