"I love you, Lise."1
Her angry words were scilenced as the speaker embraced her. He planted a kiss onto her lips as he released her.2
Lise was blushing scarlet. She stepped away from the person standing before her. The person who said he loved her... 3
He must've been at least four years older than her, and they had only met around an hour ago.4
"This is my phone mumber," he said, handing LIse a slip of paper from his pocket. "Call me anytime."5
She hesitated, but took the number and ran. At her house, at 10pm that night, Lise lay awake and blushing.6
I'm tired of thinking about you all the time, Ethan. How can you say you love me when you barely know me? Those words... 7
Lise dialed the number and a voice sounded on the other end no more than three rings later. 8
"I love you, Lise."
Author notes
Lise, don't be offended. i just decided to use his name. Sorry... By the way, the title sucks. lol. Any suggestions?
In a list
Any title suggestions?
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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Very sweet. It definitely has my attention. I'd love it if you wrote more.
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hay are you going to write more? it sounds really good so far - but I would prefer on the cheek instead of the lips please
just my personal opinion, it sounds cuter. unless this isn't meant to be cute. and is this at a party? WRITE MORE PRETTY PULEEEASE 
lise
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Silly...c'mon! These people need to grow up.
Allow me a few comments (because this is so short):
"Planted?" how about "he kissed her?" (Stay away from cliches...particularly awkward and clumsy sounding ones! Always KEEP IT SIMPLE!
..."as he released her." How could he kiss her AS he released her? What kind of a kiss is that? Difficult to picture.
"Blushing scarlet!" What other color does one blush, blue? green? "Blushing" is enough. Don't overwrite!
"Stepped away from THE PERSON STANDING BEFORE HER"
Why not just "stepped away?" Why all the extraneous, repetitious verbiage? How many "persons" were there? From whom else could she have "stepped away?" Think before you write!
"He MUST'VE been." Was he or not? You, the writer CANNOT be vague here! YOU are describing a character. DON'T be VAGUE!
"Only met AROUND an hour ago!" There you go again. Was it an hour? or not? You can say an hour...or something like "that afternoon" or "only recently" or "that day!" But don't sound silly with "around an hour ago." It sounds...vague...silly...like you are trying to be exact...but really can't!
By the way...what are you REALLY trying to say in that sentence? That this did not seem to be a good foundation for a relationship? Then say it!
"She took the number and RAN!" (A bit juvenille)
"...thinking about you ALL the TIME!" I thought they just met? Was this a thought in her mind? Say so. Was she speaking it? To whom? She didn't call yet? Be clear!
This sounds a bit immature and silly. There is little or no basis for "love" on such short notice...even if it were so...what brought these two together? Why is he nuts about her? What happened here? Did ANYTHING HAPPEN in this piece? So far...there is NO plot...no theme...your characters have no depth. Work on it.
GA
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more!
I would like to hear more...maybe how they met...where, why, you know? -
Ah! I love this!
Very awesome idea, and I read how your friends by these names hate each other lol!
So. What I like:
How the beginning and end are the same! I've done a few that way, I love that! Also, pretty cool plot!
What I think could be improved:
Um...dude. That's a messed up plot! This, by itself, isn't very...filling! Will there be moe? I think that's be better!
And...it was a teeeeeny bit confusing at the beginning. Maybe edit it a tad?
But, really, this was so good! I don't see how your title fits in, thouhg....maybe I'm just dumb!! lol!
Anyway, hmm...for title suggestions? I guess I have nothing...Is This Love? or How Can You Love Me?
Ah. Nothing lol. I never was good with other people's stories' titles!!!
Anyway, nice work!!!
xoxo
Tay
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Thank you so much for the suggestions, I'm no good at thinking of titles for...ANYTHING. lol. There will (probably) be more and I will (probably
) go back and edit the beginning. Once again, thanks for commenting!
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GREAT JOB!!!
lol this was wonderful like all your stories!! Keep it up! and I saw what the two names originated from! hahahahahah lol
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I'm just evil like that. 
Glad you liked it, your comments are always so positive!
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OMG THIS IS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HACKING GOOD LOVED IT
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Glad you liked it. I'll be editing it more later.
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hee hee
WHO'S LISE?!?!?!?!? ,ol sorry.
ok back to the story...it was good. intriguing. you need to reread the story to weed out a few minor spelling things. but other than that, great. can't wait to see more and find out how they met and why heloves her (=
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Lise's a friend of mine who gave me permission to use her name, and Ethan is another friend of mine. Lise & Ethan hate each other. lol.
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