The Secret's In The Telling

“You could have told me, you know,” I murmured hesitantly, hoping he’d believe me, or at least understand.1

“I’d like to believe that,” he sighed, pulling the right side of his mouth up into a tired smile. 2

“But you don’t,” I finished, nodding in solemn understanding. 3

When he didn’t respond, I turned away. He was the last person I wanted to see me break down. 4

“It’s not like that,” he called. The desperation in his voice made me turn around.5

“How is it then?” I rasped, hoping he mistook my choked voice for anger. 6

“I…” The tortured look in his eyes made me want to comfort him, tell him it was ok. I forgave him. He didn’t have to tell me anything. But I wanted to know. So I stared back at him, frowning to keep back tears of regret and confusion. 7

Taking a deep breath to steady himself, Jack composed his features, erasing the pain that had been there only moments before. 8

“I wanted to tell you, Shalla. You were the only one I even considered telling.”9

In response to my skeptical look he added, “Well, just think about it. My parents would freak, Josh and all those guys would just think I was totally crazy, and… you, Shalla. I knew you’d understand. Or you’d try to anyway. I didn’t want you to find out the way you did. I wanted…”10

My friend sighed, a far away look on his face, as if he was gazing off into a future he could have had if not for this unexpected horror. 11

“But now it doesn’t matter,” he whispered, almost to himself, “because I have to go.”12

“Jack!” I cried as he turned away from me, “Jack, you don’t have to do this.”13

“I’m sorry,” I thought I heard him murmur before fleeing into the unknown at inhuman speed. 14

15

“Oh, I’m sorry Shally!” Jill cried when she heard the news, pulling me into a tight hug.16

Pulling away from her, I plopped down onto the fluorescent pink beanbag chair I’d gotten her for her tenth birthday, shaking from the shock of the past few hours. 17

“Don’t worry. He was a loser anyway. You deserve better,” my friend continued, placing a reassuring arm around my shoulders as she sat down beside me. 18

Her words, designed to turn my sadness into anger, only made me feel worse. 19

“He wasn’t a loser,” I blubbered through my tears, wishing I could tell her the whole truth. 20

“Of course not,” she cooed, careful to agree with me, “he just wasn’t the one for you.”21

I wished I could explain that Jack and I had been nothing more than the best of friends. That I was so shaken because I’d never see him again, at least as the same Jack. But then I’d have to tell Jill the secret no one but Jack and I knew. And I couldn’t do that. 22

“I guess not,” I sighed, brushing away a few tears and attempting to smile, “It just wasn’t meant to be.”23

“Yeah!” Jill agreed enthusiastically, thrilled that I’d finally stopped crying. Now that everything was normal again she could regain control. Jill was good with normal but how would she react if I mentioned Jack was a vampire? “Ok, let’s go,” she ordered, pulling me up from her now soaked beanbag chair, “shopping will make you feel better.”24

25

After an hour of torture, Jill finally gave up on finding the perfect outfit she claimed would cheer me up, and trudged along behind me to Strawberries. 26

“How is more emo music supposed to cheer you up?” my friend groaned, giving my Dashboard Confessional CD a disgusted look. “If you have to come here, why not get some good music?” she asked, proudly pulling the new Hannah Montana CD from the nearest rack. 27

“Ehh… no thanks,” I muttered, quickly backing away towards the check out, clutching my CD to my chest like a shield against Jill’s bubbly pop music. 28

“Fine, then, “ Jill relented, filing away the CD, “but no way am I listening to that!”29

30

Exiting the mall, I let out a breath I hadn’t known I’d been holding, collapsing onto a nearby bench as Jill enthused about the mini skirt she’s bought at Abercrombie & Fitch. 31

“Seriously! Do you realize how amazing this is? Omigosh,” she continued, seemingly unaware of my disinterest in her new clothes, look at that.”32

“What?” I asked, looking up to see what had interrupted her ranting.33

And there he was. 34

“J-Jack?” I murmured in awed astonishment, my mouth half open in surprise. 35

“You mean you actually know this hottie? Omigosh! You’ve got to introduce me!”36

Before I knew it, I was standing before the new version of my old friend.37

“Hey,” he greeted me coolly, flashing a dazzling smile that wasn’t his. 38

“Huh… hi,” I muttered, momentarily blinded by his marble teeth and granite skin.39

“So,” he continued, unfazed by my apparent reaction to his transformation, “who’s your friend?”40

“My friend?” I repeated, snapping back into reality as Jill shoved me hard in the ribs, “but Jack? What happened to you? What’s going on? Why— ”41

“Oh, Shalla,” he chuckled, patting me on the head as if I was a simple five year old, “Shalla, Shalla, Shalla. You’re always so funny. Now,” he ordered, “tell me who your friend is.”42

“She’s Jill,” I replied automatically, transfixed by the brilliant blue of his eyes. An unnatural, almost eerie color. Hadn’t his eyes been green before?43

“Nice to meet you,” Jack greeted Jill, revealing a row of pointed teeth.44

“You too,” she agreed, batting her mascara-covered lashes. 45

“So, Jill….”46

Snapping out of the momentary trance Jack’s gaze had inflicted on me, I gasped, falling back in silent horror. Who was I looking at? Jack? Or some unknown creature? 47

“See you on Friday then?” Jill squealed as the vampire began backing away. 48

“Yeah,” he muttered dismissively, sparing me a glance before strutting away, leaving two very confused girls in his wake. 49

50

“Do you think he likes me?” Jill asked for the millionth time. 51

“Maybe,” I sighed, more concerned with weather Jack was alive than with his feelings for Jill. 52

“Oh, I know what this is about,” my friend murmured pensively, tapping her chin with her index finger before jabbing it in my face and exclaiming, “you still like him!”53

“What?” I asked, momentarily pulled from my obscure thoughts by her absurd question.54

“Yeah,” Jill continued, “I mean I totally understand. He like just broke up with you so you’re obviously still getting over him and… omigosh! I’m such a bad friend! Could you ever forgive me?” she asked, jutting out her lower lip in a signature pout. 55

“Uh… sure,” I laughed, only now remembering that I’d told Jill that I’d been dating Jack for the past few months to explain all the time I’d been spending with him. Then, to explain his disappearance, I’d said that he’d dumped me. But now he was back. But was it really him?56

57

I couldn’t sleep. Thoughts centered on Jack invaded my mind. Twisting and turning fitfully in an unsuccessful attempt to keep the unwelcome thoughts at bay, I frowned, suddenly remembering something Jill had said earlier. “—you’re obviously still getting over him and…” No. She was wrong. I wasn’t getting over him because he wasn’t gone. He couldn’t be. Not yet. Not now. Not Jack. No. Pushing myself out of bed, I pulled a sweater over my pajamas, piled pillows under my comforter, and sneaked out the front door. 58

“Where are you, Jack?” I whispered, watching my breath condense in the frosty air. 59

“Right here.”60

Spinning around to face the source of the voice that seemed so familiar and yet so foreign, there he was.61

“Hi,” I murmured, looking him over. He looked different than the last time I’d seen him. Something in his eyes seemed clearer, sharper. 62

“Shalla, I…” he began, taking a deep breath to steady himself, “I haven’t been completely… myself lately.”63

“No kidding,” I growled, surprised by how cold my voice sounded. 64

“Shalla,” he exclaimed in hurt surprise, reaching out a hand towards me, “let me explain.”65

“Please do,” I grumbled, turning away from him. I’d been so worried about him. So confused. So hurt. So scared for him. And here he was. Why wasn’t I jumping for joy? Part of me longed to wrap my arms around him and tell him how much I’d missed him, how—66

“Well,” he began, “there was a boy in my class, Jonathan, who’d gone missing about a year before. Nobody had any idea where he was. Eventually, even his parents stopped looking. We all assumed he was dead,” he murmured, motioning for me to follow him away from my front door, “Then, about a week after school ended, Jonathan called me. He told me to meet him behind our school and not to tell anyone. I was stupid,” he groaned, turning his eyes down in shame, “I just wanted to help him.”67

“I know,” I murmured in support, encouraging him to continue, “You were just trying to do the right thing.”68

“Yeah,” Jack agreed, smiling bitterly, “but when I got there, Jonathan wasn’t the person he used to be. He… he wasn’t human.”69

“He was a vampire?”70

Jack nodded grimly, shaking his head as if to rid himself of the painful memories. “But I didn’t know it until he bit me.”71

Eyes wide, I came to a stop. “Where are we going, Jack?” I asked, suddenly realizing that I had no idea where we were. 72

Ignoring my question, Jack continued with his story. 73